Enter a library

>yfw you'll never suck on her tongue and feel her breath in your mouth

youtu.be/rH_Xi2Y7SP4

After the ass penetration you mean?

I can tell you frequent Veeky Forums.

>tfw you'll never get to walk into the bathroom after she has just taken a dirty, vile, reeking shit and she's all embarrassed and trying to keep you from going in there, but you do anyway, and you start choking on the horrific stench until your froth-corrupted lungs give out and you disappear into the abyss

why even live

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

James Joyce would be proud.

>pass her on the way upstairs to check out the books i came for
>on my way back walk straight up to her and clear my throat at her
>she looks up at me
>smack the book up into her face and start barking
>unplug her phone and walk out

sisters brothers is plen shit

>walk into library sporting my copy of Infinite Jest and fake mustache
>see 9.5/10 girl reading
>walk up to her, and clear my throat to get her attention
>tell her shes alright looking but not really my type
>walk away and leave library
>hang out in my car in the parking lot, flying my rc helicopter all over the place
>girl walks out
>do 30mph fly-bys inches above her head and chase her running and screaming to her car
>drink the rest of my nesquik and head home

>postmodernism the post

>it's an unfunny people try to be funny thread

*Get some coke

>slip an expensive volume into her bag
>point her out to the front desk as she leaves

i guess it is, now that you are here

good one

My God, do you people never leave the house? Or is someone who isn't hideously obese a rarity in burgerland?
>What do?
Nothing. Humans are a dime a dozen, and an uncountable amount of them are better than you. Nobody cares about you.

desu i would like to fuck a pretty girl while she disinterestedly reads

>My God
had me thinking it was going to be a zizek post, fuck you

second this

(in parts because a late 2011 lecture was just uploaded and I stumbled upon it. Good ol' before refugees times
youtu.be/PY1XtqmcCbM
)

...

doesn't work as well as you think because sex for women is mental so they vag hole won't roll out the red carpet unless they're into it, in which case they aren't really reading

works better with femdom like going down on them because then it's not about penetration so you don't have to worry about lube or dilation, but even then honestly very few women can get into the whole "lick my pussy for the sake of licking my pussy you pathetic slave" thing like a guy can get into really noncommittal blowjobs, trust me i've tried to get them into it, even dommy girls aren't really into it

*sniff* mein Gott *sniff* you know, in DDR, easht Germany, they ushed to have a joke, "Why does Klopapier - toilet paper - have two sheets?" *shirt tug* "becaush one copy goesh to Moscow" *laugh* *nose wipe*, so you shee, but the point I'm trying to make, is that *sniff* shometimesh we have to be brutally honesht.

They don't have to be into it, senpai. Just letting me have my fun

That machine got a Fanta
I'd go for it desu desu

you ever fuck a dry bitch who isn't it?

>Pop some chewing gum so my breath doesn't taste like hangover and cigarettes
>Walking confidently, I swallow it before I arrive at her desk
>Hey, what are you reading? Seems interesting.
>She looks at me and then back at her book
>I'm reading so-and-so
>Oh I haven't read that one.
>Ah.
>Is it any good?
>Yes.
>Keeps reading, doesn't even bother to look at me unless she's talking
>I'm user btw., what's your name?
>#insert firstname here#
>Nice to meet you, #insert firstname here#!
>*nods with forced smile*
>You don't talk much, do you?
>Not really.
>Well it was a pleasure, goodbye
>Doesn't react.

>Go home, kinda angry and shit.
>Friend calling, wants to hang out at the bar with the squad
>At the bar now, drinking.
>So what's up user?
>Oh I met a cute girl at the bookstore today.
>Nice what happened?
>Chatted her up a bit.
>Really dude that's great
>Yeah we hit it off, she has a boyfriend tho
>Too bad
>Fuck it bruh she can fuck on the side, she's into me I'll totally have her soon enough
>That's the spirit user, haha
>Like that slut you picked up at that house party, right user? haha
>Yeah boy, pice of cake hahahaha

>Go home again, drunk. Lie in bed. Dick kinda limp but I decide to fap. Finish.
>Reflect on conversation with girl at bookstore
>Dumbass ho thinks she better than me, bet that book was some Coelho like toiletpaper tier bullshit
>Don't be like that user, she was simply uninterested, that doesn't mean that she's a shit person
>Hush thoughts away
>Reflect on conversation at the bar
>They still believe I fucked some slut a few weeks back
>I was actually drinking alone in a bar they don't know
>Well I guess this is my life now
>Gonna lie like this once every 3 months
>Fall asleep
>Wake up
>Beat the dick
>Look at book on my table
>Don't feel like reading it
>Post about the book on Veeky Forums
>Great I'm a literary man now
>Fucking bitch at the bookstore doesn't want literary men.
>Shallow ho

fml.

Leave her alone. You don't bug people while they're reading. (Saying hi later while in line at the circulation desk would be OK though).

Ideally she wouldn't be entirely repulsed by the thought of me using her as a masturbatory prop

>implying I'm not already coked out

t. rapist

Girl being capable of acting out the dominant role is literally a fantasy, it runs against almost every females programing.
I'm very surprised this fantasy could be sold so hard that you have so many spergs believe they could realistically find such a gf. There are more girls who just lay there doing nothing but spreading their legs, than girls who could stick to the role of pushing a guy around in the bedroom.

Run to the philosophy section and start debating random victims

there are real ones, and i say that not as some wishful thinking deluded femdom faggot on Veeky Forums but as a guy who has actually had the extraordinary luck to find outright pathologically dominant girls, the kind who get teeth-clenchingly jaw-juttingly aroused by inflicting horrific pain or degrading another human being

the kicker is that every one of those actually dominant girls was also a fucking lunatic who wanted to burn people alive and cut me with knives

the other 99% of dominant girls are mild switches who are basically just extending their enjoyment of teasing

femdom is a meme. learn to fetishize carefully quarantined acts of nonsexual or barely sexual selfishness and sadism instead of genuine dominance, and you can still enjoy it

>tfw I'll never find a girl who gets off on forcing me to lick her asshole

Okay, I take your word for it.
But I don't want to deal with girls who want to cut me with knives and so I'll pass.
Only recently I met an Asian girl for which sucking dick was her "passion and obsession" (quote) and who was into bondage. So I tied her up and tied her to the bed with a whole lot of cable binders and rubbed my balls on her face and then came on it. The /r9k/ asian girl fantasy, I thought to myself. Well, it was okay, but not I got it out of my system have no need to go further in that direction.
The whole power thing is a meme, you can't really do anything enjoyable unless the other person permits you to get into the power role - which exactly makes it into a role. If you randomly overpower your gf and she happens to not be into it, she'd be too dry to make anything happen, and it'll be weird and shitty and the erection would soon be gone.
Maybe I'm boring, but it feel like the lazy prone bone position is the best goto thing you do and everything else isn't as hot as it is, when you first fap to it :/
What's the meaning of life btw.? Surely getting with a 6/10 Hollywood girl who you find out can read would only be interesting for 3 weeks and a few too fancy boring parties you'd otherwise not get into.

wonder what's next for her career

hopefully my dick

if I tried this I'd get pepper sprayed

her?

>those pants

Id slap that bitch upside the head for dressing like a retard