It's that time of year again

Trump was the only good thing of things that I don't care about. Otherwise, my life is terrible, and I hate the world.

y tho

i like ordinary quiet lives.

I love you, user; I care about you.

Uneventful, painful and necessary.
Basically took out most of the trash

Pretty fucking bad to be honest
The only good thing that happened is Trump

Babbys first existential crisis. Grew more distant from the people I surround myself with but I have a better idea of who I am and want I want from this so I place less value on that stuff although I didn't hold it highly to begin with. I want to be happier in 2017 but I don't know how. Care less I suppose and do more

defeat the boogeyman of alcoholism after a summer I don't remember due to a woman I can't forget. Became a better teacher this year. Trying to do better, and stay desiring so, in the upcoming months.

Wasn't actually a worse year than any other year cut this meme the fuck out or get back to facebook

2016 was split in two halfs, good and absolutely awful.

Before April, I met one of my idols, my favorite artists dropped great albums that inspired me, had a lot of fun with friends and took a crush out on a date for the first time.

After that, it all went to shit. Lost two hard drives full of work, corrupted SD card with all of my photos, fucked up my chances with the girl, had an existential crisis and deleted my social media apps, the one concert I was looking forward to got cancelled, got Bs in most of my college courses, car has cost me $500+ in repairs, worked almost every day and got high at night in a shed for the rest of the year.

also David Bowie died. so fuck this year.

Yeah, RIP David Bowie.
Blackstar was amazing.

Blackstar was a perfect sendoff album, even keeping the starman / major tom themes going and wrapped them up nicely, it's amazing. His entire life was like one big art piece and he wrapped it up in a beautiful bow. I just wish i'd been able to see him perform live, but at least he isn't fighting cancer anymore.

appropriately enough, I failed at pretty much everything but reading. my inability to accomplish something as simple as waking before noon is filling me with despair

another colorful year of interesting philosophical discoveries and Veeky Forums conversation underlined by a steadily mounting certainty that the only thing that makes me truly happy anymore is the thought of killing myself

the best thing i saw on screen this year was the last three minutes of a joe rogan special

>all dreams are possible with surgery

Nothing noteworthy.

Hah.

But at some parts he's right, it looks fake you know? Like you're trying too hard. It sounds awesome when we read about it in books, like "in the road" kind of vibe, but in real life when we heard someone did that... it's diferent. Maybe because that wasn't me and my life is boring right now, but I don't it's only that... I know a guy that use to camp everywhere and did every kind of drug know to the men, a couple years ago he was found in his wrecked car snoring (which is a sign of a respiratory failure) and since then, he turned into that kind of guy that praise life, is all positive vibration kind of stuff. He clearly didn't learned a thing about his experiences, switching to this kind of life because of a near death experience sounds like it's the same fucking thing of doing drugs or what the fucking ever you used to do, the only thing that occured me when I've seen this guy after the accident was: if he crash his car again would start doing the same things he use to?

Life is not about doing everything, fucking everyone and milk it to the max, it's not that bullshit of "carpe diem".

Yeah, carpe diem is gay.

i finished infinite jest over a 3 month period. it's actually pretty mad how much it affects you. like, i know it's a meme but the effect was almost psychedelic, really did shift my outlook on life.

apart from that, i started uni at the end of this year which has been pretty interesting. it's really been an endeavor which has shone a light on who i am; being placed in an unfamiliar situation where you're forced to socialise with people you don't know, or else you drown in an ocean of loneliness. Made me realise, honestly, how much of a complete arsehole i am. At least how i appear outwardly - although I consider myself deep down to be of a, i guess, kind inclination, but that could just be my narcissistic tendencies.

I lost my virginity as well, to some random girl from a club I haven't spoken to since, but um... yeah my frenulum tore a bit without me realising, and the lights were off during the act, so there was blood like, everywhere. Thankfully - should I be thankful? - we only realised the nastiness of the situation after the act. As in after we'd both finished and all that. I felt no pain so I immediately presumed it was her being on her period (god I cringe so much thinking back). So I was sort of mildy amused (imagine a rueful smile on my face) when, after I switched the light on, it was like a fucking murder scene before my eyes.

Oh yeah and if you want to want to know another embarrassment, when I was lying in bed with this girl who, after going to a club with her friends she let me sleep in her bed since I had no other place to go, I was like angled away from her and in my drunken state I fucking google searched how to escalate with a girl on my phone, not even considering that she could've seen it over my shoulder. Which I'm pretty sure she did and didn't mention. How horrific.

asides from that, I'm clean from cannabis for 7 weeks today which is fucking great. literally it's crazy how much smarter and articulate i feel.

I fucked shit up at school as well, got all As which is cool. Exam season always reminds me how much of a crazy neurotic bastard I am since after every exam I worry and worry (and worry) about how I did and the stupid mistakes I may or may not have made. Literally weeks afterwards I can't concentrate on TV series because there's a voice in the back of my sick little head whispering questions that I'll never have the answer to and gosh it's just a painful existence.

also i feel like i like, not love, but really like a girl for the first time. i've always been attractive but too autistic and socially inept to get into a relationship but I really do think i have a good chance which is sweet.

(if anyone actually read that, my final are thoughts are it's been ok. character building i suppose.)

(also writing this made me realise how much i enjoy writing. my prose isn't prosaic and boring either which is promising.)

oh yeah and the final bracket, that's just my opinion. I'm sure it's terrible in reality lol.

ok sure

Life is hard. For longer than I can remember, my mind -- my memories -- have gnawed at my sanity. It was unbearable. No matter what I had done, it berated me. No matter what I accomplished, there was someone better than me. It felt disgusting, but habitual. Every day I woke from my slumber, I felt downtrodden and oppressed by life itself -- perhaps by the world I lived on, even. It angered and offended me, but I could do nothing against it.

I distracted myself from the world by creating my own. Worldbuilding, you could say, was one of my past-times. It allowed me to shut down and become whomever I wanted to be, or even whatever I wanted to be. I could create an entire country, then destroy it to make way for a fortress.

My first attempt was miserable. A horrible mess, lifeless and passive like the cadavres of Pompeii's victims. I scrapped it, and felt horrible. Everyone else could do it, I thought, what am I missing?

I dug deeper into the games I played. It consumed me, like an addiction, yet with it came creativity.

I distracted myself with creating images through programs. They were.. good, I suppose. As I look back, I realize how much I had learned since I began. Pic related, an image I made some time ago.

It bothered me that there were so many others that were much better than me. People that devoted days if not weeks to perfect a single image, making it look almost photorealistic.

And then there I was, with my little digital creations. Better than most, but not good enough. There were people better than me, after all.

Eventually the time came to find a means to learn a job. After all, I finished school a year earlier and should have had a position in a college or school since.

Alas, I was lazy. Sloth, after all, is one of the most dangerous sins. I never knew what I could do. Eventually, the pressure built up on me.

I cracked, like a cold glass pane in a hot car.

It consumed me more than it should have and left me empty, almost like a plundered chest.

My parents agreed that I was damaged -- mentally, at least -- and in turn we managed to find a psychologist.

It's been four months since I visited her -- last month was my final appointment -- and I barely feel any different. More accomplished, yes, and with more clarity, but barely any different.

I felt like Atlas, holding the world's burden on my shoulders, growing weaker as the year went on.

I really realized how much of a loser I am, I'm still processing it all and trying to figure out what I should do this year.

Basically this year was my year of life in review, and I hope to god that it doesn't just continue with that.

I've learned alot about the pseud world, politics and philosophy and so on and I honestly think that I started to care much less about it in some roundabout sort of way.

I rarely go on Veeky Forums because of the army Thankfully

sucks about your frenulum. i have phimosis (or summin like that) as a result of prone masturbation and i imagine the same thing'll happen to me when/if i lose my virginity. guess i should see a urologist.

yeah it's a shit hand to be dealt, feel for ya.

supposedly when it happens once the chance of it happening again is lower. as in similar to when a girl breaks her hymen.

hopefully that's the case

Good and bad.

I got addicted heroin on accident. 12/31/15 was actually the first time I shot it, although I had smoked/snorted it before that. I was able to resist frequent usage for awhile, but by July or so, things had got pretty bad, and ended up overdosing twice by the end of the year. Also my rich, super attractive girlfriend broke up with me.
On the other hand I got into my dream school (a really good school) as a transfer student from a community college (kek). In addition to that, my first semester at university was really good, and several professors have taken interest in me and basically said that I'm an excellent scholar with a really bright future ahead of me. One of them even told me that I'm already doing graduate/post-grad level work. I've also been encouraged to try to publish, but I'm too lazy and apathetic to actually polish my essays enough to do so and the process of actually submitting a paper to a journal seems time consuming (even though it would probably only take an hour or so).

Awful. Good things happen, but it's been a while since a year passes and I don't wish to have died.
This year I joined an online suicide group. I have thought of doing often. People post ugly things there, some picture and videos are truly disturbing.
Academic life sucks, too old for college, I should retire and do something else.
Stopped taking to my mother. Told her I did not want she to call me again.
Not a date, never, ever. Never asked anyone out either, never accepted propositions from women. I always told myself I could start dating once I get my life in order, but it never hapenned. I cannot escape alive the shithole in which I was born.

I didn't fuck anybody,
I read a lot,
When I should've been working I laid in bed and thought.
This is the year it'll be legal for me to grow pot.
I built a mandolin,
I filled up five notebooks
I read Perks of Being a Wallflower in two days
I accepted I'm doomed by my own pretentiousness
I'd fuck Jack Kerouac.
I hate whiskey
I almost finished Infinite Jest,
and probably would've if I hadn't bee so embarrassed to be seen reading it.
Four panic attacks, a trip to Costa Rica, and a mountain of used up blue pens.
This year was a good year.

I am still a neet and still do nothing and still want to do nothing.

Finished my degree, but my lack of direction drove me to postpone job searching. At a certain point I decided it was easier continuing being a student than actually moving on, so I started studying philosophy this fall. It's interesting and it's easy. The people are mostly sociable and agreeable. Some autists, but not the unbearable obnoxious kind. There's no group work so I can avoid talking to anyone if I should choose to. My 5 years of experience makes studying a breeze, and the workload is only a fraction of what I'm used to(came from STEM).

I stopped working out, and lost 20 pounds since August. Got a part-time job.

Last time I had sex was right before Christmas. In 2015. The girl broke us up that Christmas, but I knew of it beforehand. Obviously not completely over her, but I've broken all contact so I might get there some day. She got a bf during the spring, and she's moving to another continent these days. I'm feeling slightly left behind, not gonna lie.

My interest in other people and the rest of the world is dwindling, I'm turning inwards and I'm not sure I like it. But I've read more books this year than any year prior, so this year has been great, right Veeky Forums?

Crippling situational depression, realized I was mentally ill and most definitely have something(s) in the Cluster A personality disorders, almost killed myself, paraniod schizo sociopath dad finally under contempt of court for domestic violence thanks too me, younger siblings getting mental help, graduating highschool, trying to get into any college possible, mom got a second job and may or may not have whored herself out to get money, rich cult-like family of my father's abandoned us and I no longer have connections to my tribal family (part American Indian). Four years ago we where a bourgeoisie middle class family. Even though a ton of bad stuff happened, and this year was definetally the worst of it, we're finally able to heal and appreciate life. I have so much less than I did then and I appreciate everything I have more now. I love my family but my siblings are toxic, so I'm going to do my best to get the hell out of here. Hold close to your family, and friends. Hold close too your loved ones because they're the only things you have in this world.

2016 started out awful and then got better near the end of the year. Lets say it went from a 4/10 to a 7/10, so a 5.5 average?

2015 ended and 2016 started with my third attempt to pass the same set of classes in college that I had dropped out of two semesters prior (2014-2015). I had another panic attack of sorts and failed all of them. At this point I've been going to school for 5-6 years and haven't gotten my undergrad yet. Looking back I don't know what happened to me. I was definitely lazy, yes, and I was taking classes that were hard to bullshit my way through. But I was also approaching them as a perfectionist, and instead of just finishing the courses with an average grade I felt fraudulent for once again making it through another year that I was just apathetically floating my way through. Couple that with being doubtful and noncommittal about my field of study (Education), and I guess I just had no clue what I was doing in school.

I took 2016 off to reorient myself. I continued working the same, mindless office job that I've been working for the past two years now. Receded more and more into myself, and continued on in a relationship that was now cast in doubt. I realized that, for the most part, our relationship had been largely built on smoking weed and fucking. I had just wasted 3-4 years of my life in a toxic relationship while pursuing a degree that I wasn't fully invested in, working shit jobs, and spending little time improving myself. I was terrified by the thought of wasting more time. My 24th birthday was in March, and I've been obsessed with mortality since.

I grew more and more distant from my social circle until I realized that I only really had about four real friends who I was increasingly pushing away. I tried to fix my relationship with my dad, but ended up breaking off communication with him again. My sister became best friends with my ex-gf, and then I found out that one of my best friends (like a brother to me) had filmed sex with my sister when they dated and showed it to one of his friends. Summer ended with a camping trip where I was busted with weed and shrooms. Now serving a year of probation. My girlfriend ended up moving in. Things have been working out, but I keep obsessing over whether or not we're right for each other. She's an amazing person, but we're just so dissimilar. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

This fall though I went back to school and passed all of my classes with A's. Busted my ass, and got back up to a 3.0 GPA. Finally feel like I can commit to my field of study. Started writing again, and reading more than I ever have. Christmas was great, and I even had a nice time with my dad over the holidays. I'm looking forward to 2017. I hope that with effort, I'll finally get over how much time I've wasted and actually start living life and improving myself.

worked my fucking ass off and made decent money for the first time since the housing crash, and looks like i'll be working harder and making more money next year. fucking love working.

I read a bunch of fiction
I found out I no longer enjoy fiction
That magic that makes things jump off the page or makes you care about the characters or ideas has vanished. I read Dickens, Shakespeare, Kafka, Flaubert, Carroll, Cervantes, Dumas, lots of plays, lots of poetry, and nothing affected me. Once, I was genuinely interested in Modernism/Post-Modernism, but it dropped off. I'll still read sometimes, but the lack of any pleasure is killing it for me.

i never care about the characters, i read for ideas not for "portraits" of imaginary people

Fiction is only good because of the characters. Have you ever considered that your taste is trash?

reading for characters is lower than reading for plot, you sir are pleb

There are only so many frame stories to slot characters into and they all break down to a few archetypal tropes. Reading for plot is like eating candy because you know its good. Ulysses doesn't even have an original plot, its stolen from the Odyssey.

Notice that I typed "ideas" also. Though I'd gladly read pleb trash and enjoy it rather than read good lit and feeling nothing like I do now, if I could.

Maybe you're just a psued who doesn't gain anything from reading good lit because you don't see the beauty in it.

I don't see the beauty in anything anymore, chum.

i genuinely am excited for your future. did this a few years back. try and remember that you're in the good old days right now before you leave them.

First year of me being without a job.

Spent nearly every single day of 2016 stumbling drunk on cheap American whisky. Feels bad desu. I've read a lot, learned a shit ton about constructing and clothing narrative, clever tricks of reference, philosophy, etc. And even the merciless, unending sacrifice of writing. The secret is: it's hard work.

Now I just need to write something brilliant and I'll be a bigshot. 2017 will be mine. As soon as I get off 4chins. And put the bottle away...

This year marked the end of the two-ish year post-university slump that I'd been going through. I quit a job that I absolutely hated, which was draining all of my energy and spirit, and spent a few months unemployed. During these months, I started running, read (purely out of pleasure. no western canon) and wrote (also out of pleasure. things that were sort of self indulgent) a decent amount. I did feel very guilty for being unemployed and leeching off my parents, but I tried to make the best of my NEET lifestyle.

During the second half of the year, I got a new job through a friend. It had been enjoyable for the most part, and has taught me a lot, but I very recently realized I also hate it and how much it is draining my spirit. During the first few months of my new job, I didn't write or read at all, but in the past month I have been doing both in a disciplined way, and finished the first draft of a television script, which I think has a lot of promise.

This has probably been the worst, or second worst year of my life. This has been due to a combination of anxiety-inducing/depressing family drama, feeling like a leech and craving independence by living with my gf's family, feeling like I'm squandering my potential and limited time on this earth, by essentially not doing or experiencing anything new.

The bright moments of this year came from reading Peter Hessler's books, James Clavell's books, Paul Theroux's Great Railway Bazaar, conversations with close friends, going to the beach during summer and longing after the achingly hot women there, spending "comfy" moments on Veeky Forums, and having days where I felt like anything was possible.

I believe that this coming year will be better than the last one, because I have a better understanding of what I want out of life, and a knowledge of what I don't, which gives me better discipline to pursue the former and escape the latter.

good; bad, i can't say for sure, i did some things that i consider nice yet half or so were mongly, useless but, that doesn't matter because i dont care about use or so i think i think, im doing badly when it comes to getting stuff I think I WANT done, and that's very taxing to my headling., this,
it. felt. odd.
yet. not. jaーring.
comfortable, rather.
i think, but im doing, not caring that much yet still not completely detached at "things" that are

>I read a lot,
:)

>I accepted I'm doomed by my own pretentiousness
:D

nicestuffff!

>I got addicted heroin on accident.
Morphine – Bulgakov
Read "A Young Doctor's Notebook" first for an ENHANCED experience.

>Last time I had sex was right before Christmas. In 2015. The girl broke us up that Christmas, but I knew of it beforehand.
youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI

R.I.P.

Would any of you reading want to set up a Dubtrack room? I'm in the mood for some music, no need to talk but to share sounds.

Just learned what it is but sure, although I don't know if you're still here.

16 was good I got engaged, moved to a city I love, and I was able to see family and friends I hadn't seen in a lobg time.
17 is shit. In the first 24 hours my license was suspended because of an error processing paperwork involving a ticket, and my engagement has ended. I'm moving back to my hometown because we had an apartment together. Right now I'm in my study, slowly boxing my books up and drinking. I may just fucking end it tonight. I'm fed up.

Fell in love with a girl and basically stopped getting high and drunk everyday. Read a lot. Started writing seriously. Found out that most of my mental issues were just coming from loneliness which was nice but at the same time means I got to work some shit out. Got the best grades of my life while working a job and writing a lot. Feels good. But now that girl told me she needed time alone and is staying at her parents house rn and won't talk to me so we'll see what happens in 2017

GOD DAMNNNNNN FUCKIN BTFO

And here we all thought 2016 was a bad year...

It's all downhill from here, isn't it?

it's all downhill from the moment you exit the womb senpai

user, please don't. You can pull yourself through this. It may not be much, but just know lots of people believe in you.

love you bb

I'm back, are you still up for it?

my dude

dubtrack.fm/join/4chanman

I'm there.

A Poem on 2016

In the last year
I decided what I wanted out of life
And part of that was promising to not kill myself

When I think of twenty-sixteen in my head
I don't get a lot back
Feedback loops of banal feelings
Images in dull color palettes
Browns and greens
Mixing into a paste of non-emotions

In two-thousand and sixteen
Every feeling I had felt like an emoticon
A symbolic representation of what the appropriate feeling should be
As if irony detached you from the physical world
Even while you wander in the forest

In 2016
I read Citizen by Claudia Rankine
And Angels in America by Tony Kushner
And one of Tao's poetry collections
And Twelth Night by Shakespeare

I spent every moment
Of everyday
In a place I love
With people I love
Wanting to be in different place
With other people I love
And wondering why that made me feel so empty

Yep

Almost dropped out due to bad performance in some subjects, while excelling in others. By the end of 2016 I became lazy as fuck. Now I won't have to drop out but I also don't feel like studying what I used to love. I feel unproductive.

I started chatting up a girl. We were acquittances once but lost contact, now we see each other daily. She's older than me (+6 years but she's still under 30 inb4). We're at a standstill and I'm not about to put her on a pedestal, I guess I'll see where it goes. I think I'd jump into a relationship with her but then I only say that because I finally found someone who's not ugly and has similar interests.
Had 4 one-night stands this year, but if my friends ask I only had 2. The other 2 were meh. One chubby (I fucking hate chubbies, fatties etc. Extra-weight is not attractive to me) and one had a cute but not conventionally pretty face, so I'm sure my friends would call her ugly.
All in all I had sex 4 times this year, which is not much to be honest, but I fool myself into thinking that I'm authentic at the very least and don't get into a relationship for the sole reason of having sex. Works fine so far t b h.

I spent a lot of money, and I can't possibly make up for it in the next 3 years. What I earned by tutoring was quickly spent on my nights out. I have savings so I don't have to live on the streets if shit hits the fan, but this year will be harder than the last.

My novels are going nowhere, but I made progress. I have 10-15 "projects" I'm working on at a time, and their length goes from mere 5 pages for some to 60 for others.

Read a lot this year, mostly classics I should've read a long time ago.

As for other culture-related stuff, I got into the local alternative scene and made some musician friends. They're pretty cool but some are pretentious. They haven't read shit and they think they have a divine talent for all things written just because they can play the guitar. Sometimes I give them terrible poems by contemporary poets and listen as they analyze the fuck out of lines about Airwaves chewing gum. I caught one of these wannabe-artists reciting an interpretation found on the internet. Fun times.

I started going to a café aspiring-writers usually go to. Found some likeminded people and everyone's nice. We have some people who are eccentric on purpose, usually the kind who got into writing as a fad. They ditch the place (and the aspiration itself) in a few weeks usually, so they wouldn't annoy us much, if it wasn't for them coming here in bulk.

I ended my friendship with my oldest of friends. We've been friends since we hit 10. He started smoking shit weed, wasn't potent enough, yadda-yadda, went on to cheap designer drugs, had a recovery, now he's a saint. Can't talk to him anymore, I feel the condescence in every conversation we have.

All in all, 2016 wasn't so bad. The highpoint was catching up with the old acquittance I think. That was something fresh.

This is a bait thread

There has never been such a thing as 2016 and there will never be

There was a man sitting in his lonely room
He drank old, cold coffee
and talked online, with others of his creed
He scrolled past posts, absorbing information
And told tales
but his repertoire was forced
since all spoke were lies, of course

"I walked over miles of steaming sand"
"Traveling blind, holding naught but staff inhand"
"And I wore a cloak weaved for a thousand year old king"
"The one whose praises they all sing"
"To block out the sand from my eyes"
But his speech belied.

Almost suddenly
The man began to realize he was crying
Why oh why, only for attention am I vying
But it was not for he whom he wept
It was for the one whose promise he had not kept

Since the man wished to live a hundred lives
He wanted to be a knight, who never shyed
From the fights in school
Or a nobelman in rank
Whose charisma could turn fools from foe to lanky
And would be liked by all he knew

And the last time he saw her
Lying peacefully in her bed
She said something he always kept in the back of his head
"I wish we could talk a little more,
Be a good young man, if not for
the world, then be good for me
Always be kind
In all things offered you either humble accept
Or politefully decline
And lastly, never lie
Be truthful, at least try
but more importantly be honest to yourself
For its you who will be hurt if you deny what you are
No matter what it is, no matter how far"

Here's your (You).

changes all around
saw them only as movement
but then mom got sick

:(

I'm really sorry for your mother, user.
I hope everything turns out okay.

Asthonishing

Quite so.