I guess a few good replies are worth getting banned for a while...
I am currently 14, in 8th grade. For the last 5 years I didn't try in school and felt suicidal nearly everyday because I felt hopeless. It was kind of a vicious cycle, I felt hopeless because of bad grades, I got bad grades because I felt hopeless. However, earlier this year I was put on Zoloft. It helped a lot. I tried a lot harder in school and got all As and Bs last quarter, except for gym...
I felt more hopeful, and like I had a future. I will admit, I am intelligent. More intelligent than at least 90 percent of my grade. However, my grades make me feel fucking horrible. For high school I'm being put in all college prep classes. It sickens me because I know I can do honors integrated science and algebra 1.
Algebra 1... that's just depressing that I'm taking that next year. I know algebra though... I went through all of algebra and much more math on khan academy and other websites. But other kids, that are really fucking stupid and don't give a shit about math, kids who actually hate math, are in fucking geometry right now.
It's hard to keep in mind that I am smart when everyone around me is getting good grades and are in honors classes.
I've always loved science. Always. Mainly biology, anatomy, and chemistry. All I want in my life is to have a good career. That's all I want. I don't care how lonely, how poor, how ugly, how socially awkward I am. I just want a good career.
Since I was four or five I wanted to get into biology. I still fucking love biology. But pathology also looks awesome. So does anesthesiology...
But the job that appeals to me most is surgery.
I would literally kill to be a surgeon, I'd do whatever it takes. I just want a good career. I want to prove to myself that I am smart, that I can do it, and most of all, that I am worth something.