Write something wallacian

> OOOOoooooo I'm the wraith of the filmmaker figurant

> I must unite the Romanian people under one flag and destroy the Ottoman enemy

ITT nobody realizes that DFW's method of mixing multisyllabic jargon with colloquial speech was actually really influential on the style of communication that came to dominate internet discourse in the late web 1.0/early 2.0 days

Speaking like an autist was not invented by Wallace, nor was it adopted by NEETs as a result of Wallace.

The boy remembers the daddy always drinking his dark drink with an orange slice in it and there's something terribly sad and banal about that.

Nah.

nytimes.com/2011/08/21/magazine/another-thing-to-sort-of-pin-on-david-foster-wallace.html?pagewanted=all

this guy disagrees with a bunch of that article but basically acknowledges the effect DFW had on him and other people

deathandtaxesmag.com/134244/david-foster-wallace-is-the-reason-i-write-like-shit/

You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval[1] on your ass[2]

[1] Figuratively.
[2] Literally.

I was sit in a made-in-china Aristotelian chair. The noisy cold ar-conditioner was spilling icy smoke on the four doors, three windows and two light, room.

I am standing in line for financial aid at my university and when I pause to look up from my page to take note of my surroundings my eyes snap to a girl in sandals. There is nothing spectacular about her really, and if I hadn't promised to strictly be wallacian (i.e., like David Foster Wallace) in this post then I would have remarked on her feet.

But so here I am in the line waiting and my mind is swinging on a pendulum. Unlike Schopenhauer, my life swings from anxiety and feigned, self-conscious, never sure but still humble brilliance that I will never not be able to portray sincerely because of my self-consciousness, rather than boredom and pain.

Yeah I was his friend

"frensh frys"

To the library, and step on it!!!

How often was "w/" used as "with" in 1997?

you gotta feel
this is water
empathy
this is water
remember
this is water
other people
this is water
have feelings
this is water
too1

1. A word that means also, as well, or in addition to. Frequently results in atomic typography errors. Intentional typos with too are often used by shitposters as an attempt to trick (or troll) users into believing they are less intelligent than they actually are.

Roflcopter

I am sitting in a room full of heads and faces.

And but so the true tragedy, the capital-T tragedy, is that we are all in terrible and unceasing emotional pain, and the impossibility of sharing or articulating this pain is itself a component of the pain and a contributing factor in its essential horror - which is why we post on this site.

I'll have to check w/ my records.

nice

only accurate and good post in this thread

You can't be serious?

...

Nigger nigger faggot nigger

Great set of articles btw, I didn't realize people still published essays to debate and expostulate. Society really hasn't changed much at all since its inception.

Poftim?

Wardine be cry

D-D-David?

fresh pasta everyone, eat up

I reached climax and when I reached it I came in my pants, of all places, oh why my pants! Chad saw and laughed, pointed and laughed, as loud as he could until everyone was laughing and pointing. While he laughed he looked me in the eyes, his eyes looked like Daisy Ridley when she does her Alien smile, but they had a glint to them, like he was looking at me deeply. He wasn't laughing hard, just loud, and his face began to get red, his laugh began to fade away and his finger curled in to his fist, causing his arm to lower, strangely his face remained red and got redder every second. When I saw his eyes disconnect from mine and go to the floor directly behind, almost looking through my chest, my gaze drifted down to his groinal region and I saw what looked like the geography of Florida going down his pant leg, except in a wet sticky mucus that stained and sweated out of his sweatpants. After taking his turn in getting pointed and laughing at, he pushed me into the restroom and pushed me into a wall and said "What did you do to me, loser! Why did that happen to me?!" after keeping eye contact for maybe 4 seconds at most, he pushed his mouth into mine and vigorously began to tongue my throat. My eyes went wild, I instantly got hard, and instantly came again. The event got to intense for both parties that we eventually ended up pushed up on the door, which gave way to us, landing us smack dab in the middle of the main hall of our High School. As we looked around to see what was expected, we saw the unexpected. Every single person in the sight was embraced, on the ground or standing up, and passionately making out. Boy with man, girl with woman, boy with woman, and the rarest of all was boy with girl, because they rarely are found next to eachother in the first place. On top of a lunch table, which was clearly in sight from this view from the outsides of the restroom was a mexican lunch lady riding a 14 parapelegic reverse cowgirl, her pussy was dripping cum and the boy was eating an orange for the vitamin C. As the two newly formed lovers took this all in, we instaneously snapped to and caught eachothers eyesight, with a wry shrug I unsheathed my member and the bully began to unfasten his belt buckle while spinning around to switch to doggy (in order to stimulate the prostate for effectively, considering the curve of the nerds abnormally large member).
After maybe 3 minutes of steady fucking by everyone in that hall, there came a cacophoney of orgasm and a groan that vibrate down everyones spine, the ecstasy of the moment burned a hole in the back of their brain and nary a single butthole/vagina was not dripping with cum that afternoon. This was truly, the greatest moment of eachother their lives.

wew

Noice

Im gay

Anti depressants really helped me

For the longest time I'd see this picture on Veeky Forums and say, "Well damn, David Foster Wallace sure does look a hell of a lot like Jason Segel." Then I would silently think to myself, "If they ever make a movie based on the life of David Foster Wallace, it would be a criminal (CRIMINAL I say!) mistake to not cast Jason Segel as the lead role." It wasn't until years later, when researching the life of David Foster Wallace that I realized there was a biographic movie based on the esteemed authors life. And sure enough, it starred Jason Segel! Someone clearly had come to the same genius conclusion I had all those years ago. A week after that, it dawned on me that the photo I was so used to seeing of David Foster Wallace, was actually, in fact, Jason Segel, in disguise as David Foster Wallace, for the movie I had just learned about. Boy did I feel dumb!

Holy fuck what have you done. I didn't think someone could ruin a band for me but you have

>grits teeth
well, i think that to say anything without sounding rude would make me seem like i'm pretentious
>gives a grimace of mental pain
i really don't like being called upon at the moment, but i'll do my best to answer sincerely
>sweats
i would like some water please
>adjusts glasses
this is water

sincerely laughing at this

how is wallacian pronounced? walla shun? wal ay shun? wall ah see un?

kek

FUCK THE OTTOMAN AND THE FUCKING BULGARS GLORIOUS WALLACHIA WILL RISE AGAIN AND SHIT ON THE MOLDAVIAN WINE HARVEST DEATH TO THE UNBELIEVERS

wallace + ian obviously

>wahl-uh-see-un
with the 'wahl' pronounced how you would usually pronounce wallace

Wardine be cry.

>Banal
The one word that will begin your transformation into DFW

kek