Schizoid Personality Disorder is the Apollonian affliction while Borderline Personality Disorder is the Dionysian...

my diary desu

You could start with the gendering of the pronouns--it only gets more conjectural and generalized from there. This is nothing more than rhetoric; go read the DSM if you actually want to know the first thing about these disorders.

>DSM

lol

Post story please

>read the DSM
>if you want to know
>DSM
>know
Ah mate if this is a joke it's some great humor. Are you implying that the DSM is anything other than pseudo-scientific labeling? I find it amazing the same kinds of people who say that race is a social construct and doesn't actually exist defend the existence of meaningless "mental disorder" labels used as a social construct to manipulate and control individuals. Really makes you think eh.

I think everything was good until here:

He plods along at his own pace, meandering aimlessly through a life never lived, always pondering the meaning of life without ever trying to find it.

As it is quite a (specific) generalization, and I think it is interesting:

"Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder "

"Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental disorder"

The difference, in wording, characterization.

Loneliness, socialness, energy. Introvert, extrovert. depressive, manic.

The difficult part I guess is where you infer they connect or mingle, or spill into each other, is that the main point you were trying to make?
Because these seem to just be, fringe extremes of normality. And this is mainly premised on the nature of relations with others, I suppose in some sense, the degrees of ones self consciousness, social cues, self perception, world perception, other perception.

tl;dr more or less self-diagnosed; doctors affirmed
I was given a different diagnosis in middle school and never felt that it fit me. I identified with very few of the qualities described in the diagnosis, and was very frustrated by being assigned a label I felt didn’t describe me.
Perhaps around a year and a half ago my father handed me a pamphlet for a treatment center specializing in BPD, and told me he thought I showed signs of the disorder. I disagreed with nearly every argument he gave in support of his conclusion, but after researching the disorder on my own, I found that I identified very strongly with many of the symptoms. Identifying with the disorder allowed me an escape from the previous diagnosis, as I could now shrug it off as quackery and over-enthusiastic fad-diagnosing. I was very glad to have a new label to apply to myself, although I had not had the luxury of having a clinician make it official.
1/

This luxury was afforded to me a little over a year ago. In leaving high school, my self-harm had graduated from the knife to the bottle. Liquor is an awfully enticing method of self-harm in that it leaves no visible marks, and offers total obliteration of the self. It’s like a miniature, temporary suicide. I had joined a fraternity in college which, if I’m honest, was a move primarily in service of this blossoming alcoholism. I would drink nearly every weekend, with blacking out being the rule rather than the exception. After two arrests for public intoxication and generally being sick of making an ass out of myself while sloshed, I practiced increasing isolationism in my drinking, until I was left simply downing mugs of vodka at my desk. This was, obviously, not sustainable—and eventually I found myself waking up in the hospital, having been found unconscious with a BAC of .512. I very faintly remember saying to the doctor who came to see me, “I think I have borderline personality disorder”. Because my BAC had been so high it seemed the doctors were not convinced I wasn’t trying to kill myself, and I was told that if I didn’t voluntarily commit myself to the psychiatric ward they’d get a court order to hold me. Needless to say, I decided to go quietly.
The loony bin is a real riot. I’d highly recommend a stint for anyone looking to break up the monotony of day-to-day life. I learned all sorts of neat things, like how to pictographically represent my life in tree form, that spreading butter on pancakes with a spoon is neither facile nor enjoyable, and that mental illness is apparently lifelong—as I was far and away the youngest chap in the adult ward. A week in the ward and I emerged at the other end with a very pleasing and affirming diagnosis—borderline personality disorder.
Sometimes I doubt whether I really have the disorder. I feel guilty when I don’t seem “sick enough” to warrant the diagnosis—like I’m a fraud. What if I’m just an alcoholic who generally sucks at life? I’ve made attempts to curb my drinking, with some amount of success, but see myself facing a gradually worsening eating disorder, which I perhaps cultivated as an alternative coping mechanism. I ended up graduating with a general liberal arts degree because I found that I began to hate any one topic that I pursued for too long. I don’t really have any goals or aspirations; I’m essentially just running down the clock on life at this point. That’s my story in a nutshell—sry 4 longwindedness
2/2

This dichotomy you're describing fits perfectly with a recent relationship I had (BPD being very me and SPD akin to her)

>((((Schizoid)))) """""personality disorder""""""

The DSM is a dictionary for generating a common language with these terms surrounding mental health issues, for ease and efficiency of communication with minimal misunderstanding in conversations such as this one.

Go hate a dictionary more, because you thought a bunch of pseuds sounded smart while they said it was shit for some reason.

Good read, well written.
I'm no psychologist desu, but I find the unwillingness to acknowledge the affliction as "real" to be quite interesting. Do you feel any sense of agency, of self-control? Do you feel as if the emotions and actions that are in accordance with your diagnosis are "your own", so to speak?

I think a degree of victimhood is needed to feel the realness of something like BPD. You should seek out some guiding force in your life, so that your illness is not left to define your self worth. Of course, in the face of total hopelessness this is basically impossible, but there are ways of overcoming the impossibility of life.

The DSM is a joke, as are the fields of psychiatry and psychology.

No rigour, no hard science, just money changing hands around Big Pharma.

Psychoanalysis was onto something but since basically the whole field decided pharmacology was the most efficient method you can't get a decent therapist where I live for love nor money; they just don't exist.

That and nobody's mapped the "Proper chemical makeup" of a "healthy brain" so "Chemical imbalance theory" is far more tenuous than you might think considering it's the basis of most pharmacology.

I say to you all; never trust a shrink.

>The DSM is a joke
No, it's a dictionary.

>No rigour, no hard science, just money changing hands around Big Pharma.
So you're throwing humanist psychology in with big pharma? Why? You may as well say that Zen training is no rigour, no hard science, just Big pharma. It's completely innaccurate and misleading.

>Psychoanalysis was onto something but since basically the whole field decided pharmacology was the most efficient method
The whole field did not decide this. The psychopharmacology approach is under constant criticism from psychology. You are misinformed or deluded.

>I can't get a decent therapist where I live for love nor money; they just don't exist.
This is a problem with your healthcare system, not psychology.

>That and nobody's mapped the "Proper chemical makeup" of a "healthy brain" so "Chemical imbalance theory" is far more tenuous than you might think considering it's the basis of most pharmacology.
Again, you're mixing up psychology, psychiatry, and psychopharmacology. Even so, your argument is basically:
>they have not perfected it yet, so it's all bullshit
... Which is a shit argument for any human endeavour.

>I say to you all; never trust a shrink.
You got scared, hey?

Are you trying to say something?

Ever try or consider an AA meeting?

I wouldn't quite say that I fail to acknowledge the affliction as "real"--more that I sometimes question whether I warrant the label. I feel somewhat as if I orchestrated my diagnosis because I wanted it, and if I were intent on hiding the symptoms and receiving a different diagnosis instead I could have done so.

In the grand scheme of things, I don't feel much agency. I tend to think of my journey through life like floating down a river, meandering about in whichever direction and at whatever pace it takes me. I'm hardly qualified to speak on the subject, but I see free will as essentially illusory and sort of silly, although I do believe we should try to act as if it exists nonetheless. I don't believe life has meaning beyond what we ascribe to it, but that said I think ascribed meaning can be just as valid as intrinsic meaning and wouldn't consider myself a nihilist in the pop/stereotypical sense of using that philosophy as an excuse for acting helpless or doing nothing. I'd like to go somewhere with my life, but I can't decide on a destination.

I don't divorce my actions symptomatic of the disorder from my sense of self, however, sense of self is something I really struggle with. I think people qua individuals are in no small part composed of their hopes, dreams, aspirations, etc. I don't really have any of these. Sometimes I do, but they are liable to change so quickly that I can't pin down who I really am, what I want, or what it is that I truly believe in. This leaves me feeling very fragmented, sometimes going as far as to make me feel as if I don't really constitute personhood at all. Clinging to the label of the disorder helps somewhat to define me, which is why I might be prone to do so, but that can only extend so far.

For a brief period of time I attended some group rehab sessions that were loosely based on the 12 step program. I didn't really jibe with their message. I dislike the idea of giving myself over to a higher power or being told to relinquish whatever autonomy I may have. I'm not confident in my ability to fix my own problems, but I see outside help as intrusive and I don't trust that the good intentions of others won't lead to negative consequences. I was also offended by the standard of quality in the work materials they gave us, and found the whole endeavor a bit patronizing.

Oh fuck, I seriously think I might be schizoid.

Me too. It hurts to be so lonely. I tell myself it's because everyone else is vapid and stupid, but it's probably just because I'm a coward

half of this website probably is.

>everything just is what it is
>forever

why dont you faggots just study astrology already

>In the grand scheme of things, I don't feel much agency.
> I see free will as essentially illusory and sort of silly
>I dislike the idea of giving myself over to a higher power or being told to relinquish whatever autonomy I may have.
> I'm not confident in my ability to fix my own problems,

> but I see outside help as intrusive and I don't trust that the good intentions of others won't lead to negative consequences

Unfortunately that might be true. Hopefully it doesnt make you think that all possible people who dedicate their lives to attempting to help others overcome their problems and ease their struggles, are absolutely unable to potentially help you.

too real

I'm schizoid/borderline.

I used to be very social with exceptional violent crisies, ever since I was a kid. As a teenager the only thing that mattered to me was etneral love (my parents divorced when I was a child and are basically terrible at loving/taking care of anything). I created a whole mythology around it (even though I was still, paradoxically, very needy of pleasure). When I was 18 I met the only girl I ever loved, won't tell the whole story but you can imagine whatever you want. The point is, it's become very complicated.
Now I remain apathetic and solitary, even though I can still have a conversation and pretend to be adapted to society. I can spend months doing pretty much nothing appart from resting, browsing the internet, going to a bar from time to time and go fuck a prostitute every once in a while. And I smoke a lot. All the while I think about what I could do in life and find complicated ways to gain a status/make peace with the world.
The crisises now happen when I think about the girl I loved, which happens like twice a year and lasts a few days. At firt I think of ways of being with her again, then I realize that it's likely impossible and that even if it was possible it would probably not fulfill my need of eternal love. I become angry and deppressed.

Meanwhile, over the past few years, I've developped an interest shamanism and eastern philosophy. spiritual sciences let' say. I've developped my own understanding of the universe, inspired by shamanism, eastern philosophy, and romantic or poetic love.

I have a very clear conception of the process required to go to "paradise" (not as in upper world/heaven but as in the source of creation, nirvana, etc). I keep postponing this process (which requires the body to die) but I have become convinced that doing it is the only way I can be satisfied, for a very long time (because, in my conception, only the universe is eternal and the feminine principle of the universe, "love" -as in immaterial, pure energy- turns into the masculine principle, "soul" -as in the basis of material reality, its foundation- over one eternity -a very long period of time- and the wheel keeps turning, which means that even paradise is not eternal and that as you go there, your soul will dissolve in pure love but this pure love will eventually cristalize in a new soul, in my conception. Hindu texts agree with this, in their view, moksha or liberation lasts for billions of billions of years but it eventually comes to an end and the soul is born again.)

I feel kinda stuck, like my freedom has become my prison. I'm just being rational, in my opinion, by looking for the most quiet/loving/lasting thing, even though it may not be eternal.

I recently had a crisis and thought about her, which has really gave me the desire to get a flat and start the process.

bump, please give me feedback

I could use an exetrnal opinion and I'm willing to discuss my ideas, I've never shared this before.

What about religion? Not in the sense of believing in a God and centering your worldview on a cultural understanding of what this entails, but in the belief that you should act in accordance with certain moral and ethical values because they hold some eternal quality, at least to you.

I'd read Kierkegaard if you haven't already. There is no lasting happiness to be found in the pursuit of goals and dreams. They are, of course, crucial to who we are, but basing our decisions entirely on how we move in relation to them deprives us of identity and makes integrity redundant.

Hey man. I'm working late tonight at home, so I can talk for a bit but might take a while to respond. I want to ask you some questions, feel free to ignore them if you want.

>pretend to be adapted to society
What do you see as the difference between people who pretend and people who don't? A lot of people feel that they are not the same as others, because they aren't. Humans are weird. So is being apathetic and solitary a problem for you? Why?

>resting, browsing the internet, going to a bar from time to time and go fuck a prostitute every once in a while. And I smoke a lot.
Are these behaviours problematic for you? Why?

>I become angry and deppressed
How does this impact your life? Anger and sadness are not necessarily problems. No emotion is inherently bad.

>Meanwhile, over the past few years, I've developped an interest shamanism and eastern philosophy. spiritual sciences let' say. I've developped my own understanding of the universe, inspired by shamanism, eastern philosophy, and romantic or poetic love.
Cool. I would try, for the time being, to think of this as a nice hobby. You seem to be getting somewhere with it. Keep writing it down, but take the pressure off. There is eternity to solve this riddle, so no need to rush.

>I feel kinda stuck
Where do you want to go? If you imagine your perfect life (my hunch is you are with this woman), but what are the other details? How are YOU different?

>I recently had a crisis and thought about her, which has really gave me the desire to get a flat and start the process.
>start the process.
What is the process?

I thought it was rather straightforward

i was diagnosed schizoid too so i get all that narcissist shit, but at the end of the day i recommend you try to remember that you're an animal that just wants to feel good. Don't kill yourself over your romantic delusions dude (they're like 95% unreal), you might as well enjoy the ride.

Spoiler: Most people *are*.
Seek out people who are experts in ways you respect and it gets much better.
Just remember to take into account that they'll probably still be vapid idiots in other respects, and they're not the only ones. :D

I'm schizoid/buttburgers myself.
All I really have to say on this one is you should really look into futurist transhumanism and some of the more dramatic possibilities in that space.
Bringing paradise to our mortal realm is very possible, and IMO beats killing yourself and doing fuck-all while waiting for the world's longest reboot to finish.
Eastern philosophy (Buddhism I'm looking at you) has a really fucked up death fetishistic defeatism to it when taken to a logical extreme instead of used more sparingly as a spiritual refreshment.
Also, do yourself a favor and get into the various classic psychedelics which I'm fairly sure you haven't yet. It's the best chance there is at finding paradise in life or at least getting a taste of something very different from the reality we're used to.

>Abstract concept X doesn't exist, despite there being many people who use the same term to signify the same set of observable phenomena
Is this about right?

Found the /pol/ster.

Spotted the hedonist

How so?

not that guy but i think part of being a responsible schizoid is about accepting that you're just a filthy animal who wants to fuck all the time and balancing that fact with some sort of self-awareness/responsibility for the sake of society. I honestly believe mind-altering substances can offer you help in this area if you approach them correctly.

...

Sounds like you got something pretty different out of them than I did.

For me it was mostly accepting that people and society as a whole are pretty crazy and to stop being so hard on myself thinking I was the only one.

On the contrary, I'm surprisingly sane in ways that make me extremely good at playing markets.

>Acknowledging the foundational instincts that drive human behavior is hedonism
Nope. That user recommended futurist transhumanism and seeking the wisdom of experts and you call him a hedonist?

So you basically just think that drugs are bad, mmmkay?

thanks man.

1/Maybe there's no difference between people who pretend and people who don't. What I meant is that I hide the fact that I think about strange things a lot and that my lifestyle is marginal. Being apathetic and solitary is not a problem, per se, but it's, imo, not a constructive way of life. I don't want to live a life by default.

2/these behaviours are, once again, not constructive, imo. They are more or less contradictory with what I picture as an ideal life.

3/These feelings make my life complicated because I must hide them and they are hard to hide. Anger and depression is not considered healthy in our society, it's dirty. When I'm on those mood, my family asks me what's wrong and I lie to them because I very much know that sharing my feelings and ideas with them would only create problems, because they would try to help even though they are powerless to make a change(I know this from experience). It just creates a complicated situation.

4/Yeah, it's kinda cool. I've even developped a whole spiritual/pseudo-scientifical conception of the universe and I write it down from time to time. I may be completely deluded but I think it could have a certain interest in regard to quatum physics and the unified theory (unified theory of chromatics/gravitation/quatum/mechanics). I also write other stuff that is, in some sense, a poetic illustration of my philosophy.

5/The thing there is nothing that I really want, not in this world at least. I often think about different scenarios where I could acquire a certain social status, independence, have healthier relationships and so on and gracefully walk down the lane of life, in some sense, but every now and then I realize that even this would not satisfy me. Even if I could be a published author, do "good" in my society, be with the girl I loved, have a good life and so on, I don't think it would fulfill myself. The thing is, I couldn't do these things for myself. I could only do them for others, as a form of sacrifice. The reason for that is that I love myself as I am and do not feel the need to change myself or accomplish anything to prove to myself anything. This is, in my opinion, the root of my problem. An indian thinker said that our society is systematically nevrotic because, as we grow up, we must transform ourselves and become what we are not. Society depends on that.Society doesn't need humans, it needs engineers, economists, workers and so on.I guess, from my point of view, it would be a kind of self-treason to model myself according to what the world requires.

6/The process is renoucing the two circuits of consciousness that are linked to the lower world (or, as philosopher karl popper would call it, the natural world). In practice that means chastity and progressively stopping to eat, drink, etc. Fast to death. Some cutlures (jains) make a tradition of this where, usually at the end of life, a person can fast to death to attain liberation of the soul.

cont.

6 cont/
this is a "scientifical" process. The soul is rooted in the lower world, emotions are rooted in the middle world and ideas are rooted in the upper world. Paradise is the beyond. Whenever a person dies they can choose to reincarnate on earth or any inhabited planet, or choose to go to paradise, however, in order to go to paradise, they must first "detach" themselves from the vital world. I could elaborate or recommend you books on the subject if you are interested.

If you do check out, please write a thorough accounting of your inner world before you do.

Most of this shit is a spook and for normies to put labels on differences. Congratulations, you're grouped now. Feel accomplished? It's just another thing for people who lack the ability to empathise with your situation to look down on you.

He literally wants paradise on earth and cherrypicks the elements from eastern philosophy that he finds the most pleasing, while using psychedelics to attempt to alter his wordly perception towards something more in line with his fantasies, which is naive and childish.

The only reason this sounds perfectly okay is because it's implicitly stated that the attainment of the greatest amount of happiness (which speaks nothing of fulfillment) is the ultimate goal in life.

I've exeperienced with psychedelics.

I agree with you that a material paradise is possible on earth. That may be our common destiny and goal as humans. I sometimes think about taking part in its elaboration but I also sometimes feel that it's a futile perspective because I could just as well reach a non material paradise through my own personal will, without having to work with others and deal with problems that are inherent to humanity (which I'm a part of, I don't think I'm perfect). In the end, it's just a matter of choice, and both purposes defeat themselves since none is technically eternal.

For what purpose?

This would have no utility, to me or others.

>I hide the fact that I think about strange things a lot and that my lifestyle is marginal
Yes. Not long ago (relatively speaking), isolation meant death. So fear makes sense here. Although, it reminds me of Jung's discussion of secrets:
>Anything concealed is a secret. The possession of secrets acts like a psychic poison that alienates their possessor from the community. In small doses, this poison may be an invaluable medicament, even an essential pre-condition of individual differentiation, so much so that even on the primitive level man feels an irresistible need actually to invent secrets: their possession safeguards him from dissolving in the featureless flow of unconscious community life and thus from deadly peril to his soul. It is a well known fact that the widespread and very ancient rites of initiation with their mystery cults subserved this instinct for differentiation. Even the Christian sacraments were looked upon as “mysteries” in the early Church, and, as in the case of baptism, were celebrated in secluded spots and only mentioned under the veil of allegory. A secret shared with several persons is as beneficial as a merely private secret is destructive.
So you need a tribe, yes?

>They are more or less contradictory with what I picture as an ideal life
The influence goes in both directions. As you move towards ideal life, your image of the ideal life might need to expand to accommodate the present. Is there a way you can have your episodes of high emotion play a more satisfactory role in your ideal self/world? This would be helpful.

>I may be completely deluded
Drop this. Sculptures and paintings are not delusional. It is your own artistic philosophical structure created out of materials you have found. Yes?

>The thing there is nothing that I really want, not in this world at least.
>I don't want to live a life by default.
So you know what you don't want. Could we reverse this and say that you WANT to live an authentic and purposeful life? Movement towards this is in itself a purpose. These sorts of conversations serve that purpose. Congratulations on taking a leap. What you don't know yet is how that will change other aspects of your life. Do you need to in order to start?

>The process is renoucing the two circuits of consciousness that are linked to the lower world
Why not focus on activating higher circuits rather than focusing on deactivating lower ones? Seems to be putting the cart before the horse. Have you read anything about the eight-circuit model of consciousness developed by Leary, Wilson, and Alli?

>When I'm on those mood, my family asks me what's wrong and I lie to them because I very much know that sharing my feelings and ideas with them would only create problems
Yes. My hunch is you are with them while carrying these emotions because deep down you know it would be healing to express them. But your family cannot handle that, and you end up wounded and not healed. So take them somewhere else. Yes?

Stop drawing ridiculous dichotomies in ambiguous, interchangeable terminology.

>He literally wants paradise on earth
For a very strange value of paradise.

>and cherrypicks the elements from eastern philosophy that he finds the most pleasing,
As opposed to the false dichotomy of either total acceptance or total rejection?
I'd much rather sit around all day studying and working on different skills/projects, or go out and socialize on the weekends than sit around meditating all day at this point. Complacency is death and eschewing it is much more fulfilling.

>while using psychedelics to attempt to alter his wordly perception towards something more in line with his fantasies, which is naive and childish.
I've lost about an equal portion of fantasies as have been further cemented into my world view.
I also mainly fantasize about things that I can either build or quantify, and have done so continuously to great fun and profit.

>The only reason this sounds perfectly okay is because it's implicitly stated that the attainment of the greatest amount of happiness (which speaks nothing of fulfillment) is the ultimate goal in life.
I could care less about happiness so long as I can continue gaining experience as it's what I find fulfilling.

I suppose I don't think I have much left to offer beyond absurdism, existentialism, and my personal belief that everything is worth the experience.

I place high utility on expressions of esoteric modes of thought and deconstructing them, and I doubt I'm the only one. This is a purely selfish request, though I don't think that's saying much.

Also, I think is probably better equipped than I am to possibly provide you something you find useful.

saved me some time from writing the exact same thing. thanks user

that's what i just said basically. you're crazy for thinking youre anything other than a filthy fuck machine but at the same time its the necessary delusion/awareness to have if you want to contribute to/affect society.

I get that you really want to make this about you, but let's try to adhere to the original argument here.

His goal in life is the attainment of personal paradise. He explicitly states this.
I also assume he does this because the real world is too much to bear based on this:

>Bringing paradise to our mortal realm is very possible, and IMO beats killing yourself and doing fuck-all while waiting for the world's longest reboot to finish.

Which, as far as I can tell, states that he feels like the real world is so fucking pointless and shit that he has to attempt to impose his escapist fantasies on it.

You seem to be really keen on telling me how happy you are and how positively all these things have impacted your life.
Good for you, man! I'm glad you feel like your life is in a good place, but I was looking for discussion, not life advice. Don't be so quick to project.

>Spoiler: Most people *are*.
Are self diagnosed loners who try to justify their failures? Correct

Thanks for the good advice.

I'm gonna save this conversation and keep it in case I go through the same phase again.

I don't know how can I find a tribe (which, I agree, would be most welcome), but you did give me an idea on how to use my excess energy/emotions/ideas in a constructive way.

Hope to talk to you again, thanks again.

Good luck on that nightime work.

>he has to attempt to impose his escapist fantasies on it
You know this only applies if you posit the assumption that existence has inherant meaning in it, right?

You could take a different view, that the objective (external) universe has no inherent meaning, and meaning is only created through projection of subjective fantasties. This change in underlying worldview means the fantasies are not escapist, but relational.

The discussion concerns these underlying changes in worldview presuppositions. You seem to be assuming that yours is taken for granted.

there's a buddhist saying that goes "if the world has no meaning, then this sentence has none either."

...

How do you separate schizoid personal disorder from severe social anxiety, or agoraphobia?

There are maybe 3 people I enjoy interacting with, other than that I am fine with not speaking at all. I definitely feel extremely anxious around people I havent met and generally find them dull.

Ive only been to private therapists, so ive never had an official diagnosis

What's the difference between this and schizophrenia? These fantasies still have to be related to what others perceive to be the external world, otherwise you are the definition of delusional.

I just realized we're talking about a self-declared schizoid lol. Aight im out of here

I don't trust transhumanism. I've got to die eventually, whether it's from cancer or the heat death of the universe makes very little difference. I figure I should just live how I want to and get a move on with it

Stop putting yourself in a box.

I`m in a box outside the box, and inside a big bubble, incapable of knowing what really might be outside the box, that the bubble seems to be.

Why not join a monastery in tibet or something?

My fantasies,-which seemed a while ago as fully escapist, impossible, weird, and childish daydreams, are now suddenly starting to come true.
Only thing needed, was to start really believe in them, and also acting based on m, and -acracadabra- things happen..
Not the wildest things, the extremes, -but enough for proof, that there are very few things totally impossible.

I have my private monastery here already.

I meant that for the individual considering fasting to death (if thats you), maybe as someone mentioned, tribe, you wouldnt desire to die, if you found a group of like minded people

I've actually thought about doing this. No joke. The materialism and self-righteousness of the modern world disgusts me deeply. I want to leave.

>These fantasies still have to be related to what others perceive to be the external world, otherwise you are the definition of delusional.
That's right. The position would be that the meaning we might normally perceive as inherently part of the external world is really just mass consensus.

We need some sort of mutual reference point, but one person can have more or less reference points from different worldviews, and thus have a much more complicated experience of reality.

My pleasure, it's nice to have some trigger to reflect on this stuff myself.

Nowadays the tribal connection can be transient in space and time (like these connections), though closer proximity in both dimensions is more comforting. It's always tempting to just have the family of origin as tribe because that would require a lot less bravery. But rarely do they cut it.

It took me a while to consciously realise they were not going to be able to help me with a lot of my inner challenges. Longer still to stop trying with them. A little longer still to find someone who could help.

I think you are using your energies in a constructive way by constructing your worldview and opening yourself to honest dialogue about this stuff, with a willingness to expand your view. But be careful because there is a saying: "don't throw your pearls before swine." In other words, be careful of who you let into your psyche.

I would honestly recommend physical exercise over starvation, etc. But maybe that's just my own personal bent. I also recommend to look up the eight-circuit model I mentioned, if you haven't already.

I've been officialy diagnosed as a schizoid. I litteraly cannot get lonely, have always had it like this.

"Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary or sheltered lifestyle..."

You're not a schizoid just because you don't have any friends.

What if you lack interest simply because nearly everyone is horribly dull?

>not being able to get fascinated by any type of human, the most complex organism in the known universe

who here /ASPD&SPD/

>tfw schizoid with borderline mother

thread should've ended after OP you're a fucking party, your vapid post really tells the state this board is in right now

Because those are all symptoms of schizophrenia, but without the psychotic part. It's basically schizophrenia light, and sometimes schizoids develop into full blown schizophrenics

I could definitely be characterised as schizoid and at times have worried about schizophrenia (I've fucked about with enough substances that can simulate it to some extent). It's about grounding yourself now and again. Make the most of your natural gifts but strive for balance and happiness.

Huxley's Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell touch on this a little bit when he describes the 'visionary' world where if one was at peace you could simply sit for eternity or until you decomposed with no need to do anything because the universe is so vast, and fascinating. The real world on the other hand has to be handled very differently and requires focus and action in order to be involved. I think we need to be able to achieve balance between these things to find peace both inside and outside ourselves.

mental illness is a spook and you're a faggot.

give it a few years of your solitary confinement and see if our heart might not leap out towards a pigeon

If a person has a reference point that is wholly their own, or if they lose the ability to relate to the common viewpoint i.e. mass consensus, they aren't capable of relating to other human beings which makes them mentally ill and that is bad user you don't want to be like that

borderline / bipolar woman here.

The worst kind.

No.

veekyforums.com/thread/8993550/literature/schizoid-personality-disorder-is-the-apollonian.html

>even my disabled adblock doesn't spread my anus wide enough to read this shitty site

kek, not gonna bother.

I had a girlfriend with BPD. It was a nightmare.

nice dubs

Whats it like, what are your symptoms? What flares you up?

>tfw both
>tfw bipolar masterrace
what the fuck is this thread tho