Why would anyone ever want to read something I wrote?

I wrote this.

I appreciate the never ending sameness. Although I've had days like this before.we're sitting on my couch. 3 generations of you have had this same day, this talk, these thoughts. all on my couch. why do you(all) react like that?This one's on me though. i need a new couch. shes going to remember it, my response and my couch. my choice in words will be a defining moment for us. this is some kind of measurement of my worth. I've done this before though. it gets so much easier actually. easier to do, but this one hurts. the place where things start to go south. I know it's happening before anything is said, she doesn't even know it. I bet she doesn't even know what she's doing. We'll see if I can fix this. patch things up. get her to sweep this under the carpet. The carpets going to have hills. lifes forcing you out of your comfortable routine.

-what?

He had been staring at a tiny crack in the wall above the fireplace, just over the tv on the mantle. a blemish in an otherwise perfectly good wall. He could count minutes between each second that passed. his eyes stinging with each blink, an hour in between.

where did that come from. is something like that dangerous? everyone will be able to see it when they come in. the walls will probably crumble. should I fix that? it's not really broken. should just hang something up there.

-what are you thinking?

what am I thinking? that's a good question.

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dropped at first line

shèeeeit. might I ask why?

It's not that bad. Don't know why he said that. Nothing wrong with the sentiment, at least. Good rhythm. Second sentence contradicts slightly but in a nice way. I need more to understand what's exactly going on. I'd like a more consistent intended reader. "I need a new couch" is an internal thought, "I've done this before though" is telling someone something. The crack is a slightly unnecessary and pushy metaphor imo. And I don't like the last sentence, really.

What I mean by what's going on is really who this person is, not the actual situation. "The carpets going to have hills" is lovely

what if he was staring at the wall and time passed and he blinked and then he noticed a little crack (as the last sentence of the paragraph). It's funny because I know it's a shit metaphor but what's going on in this part actually happened to me and that crack is real and that's what I was staring at. Although this isn't about me, that part actually happened though. so how do I stop writing what I want to read and start writing what others would? should I care?

literally I've read Ulysses: the fragment

Just do it, man. Plenty of writers have been lauded for masturbatory writing over the centuries. Of course the commonplace Veeky Forums critic will say that "no one cares", but that's normal: no one cares for user but Proust is a genius.

Of course, this doesn't mean you'll be successful; best to forget about that and write for your own creative satisfaction. Work on giving your writing form and structure, more interesting than a collection of deranged anecdotes.

noted. desu this is my first time ever writing something. I wrote that on the bus on my way to work.

Is this written by Rupi Kaur?

HOLY

Dropped for the shitty self-aware writing. Fuck off Reddit.

first line isn't badly written, but it tells me exactly how the rest of the story will be

i get why the story is the way it is though. writing is hard and makes u numb

would you tell james joyce to go back to r eddit

wow
such conscious stream
many post-moderns

is it postmodern? I just started writing. how do I make it not postmodern.

Begin by pulling your head from your asshole. Then sloooowly stretch your spine all the way up, and avert your gaze from the navel

>how do i fix years of fake overwrought 21st century emotional literacy turning my brain into a literal goddamnf fucking meme

i dont actually know

Kek

here's my advice friend-o. you sound defeated, limp, and lazy. that's not a good combination. defeated, crazy, lazy work. defeated, limp, mentally ill work. you got a non interesting aesthetic/tone. you have to spice it up a bit more nomsayin. its too bland.

Tony is a fat fuck but I always admired his audible sighs and generally heavy even noisome breathing. I suppose this isn't really surprising for a fat person, but there's something that automatically yields a certain amount of respect to a fat shit who can paint. You know that fat fuck probably spent a good amount of time sitting in front of the canvas working countless hours until he got good at something. By the time he got good at it, it would cease to be important as to whether he got into it for the pussy or for the actual interest (the pussy and actual interest curves at some point usually overlap, especially once you've invested so many hours into becoming good at something that you can't afford pussy to be THE ONLY reward anymore) and that audible sigh, not unlike a sigh one would let out during coitus, yes i am claiming that it has sexual overtones, is by-product of that mastery. sure the guy is fat, likely destroyed his life in the process of acquiring the mastery in the craft, but there is always that hint of mystery. that audible sigh that somehow incorporates emotions across the entire spectrum. the sigh of everything that was sacrificed while mastering the craft. the sigh of everything gained while mastering the craft. the sigh of making a shitload of money. the sigh of not making any money. the sigh of losing all money. the sigh of having your dick sucked by cute artsy girls. the sigh of impotence. the sigh of remembering the past. the sigh that says it was not really worth it. the sigh that says that it was really worth it. the sigh that is simply a sigh. you can never tell what that fat old balding fuck is actually hiding in that sigh. its the most mysterious thing in the world.

SEE NOW THAT'S INTERESTING

now just work it into readable prose and you have yourself a book deal boyo and academics will love you. PEACE

INSPIRED BY THIS FAT FUCK'S MANNERISMS

youtube.com/watch?v=7qIW_u0WSTM

LEARN TO SEE THINGS

how bout you make your character do something useful, meaningful, or interesting instead of just sit, look at the fucking wall, and think about shit

>Character just babbles about something I don't understand but may come to understand l8r in the story

dropped

the novels about the couch.

Oh for fucks sake.

The first step you need to do when introducing a person to your work is putting a synopsis.

There's a reason why people look at the blurb, the back or the side cover to check what the book is about.

It's the smell before the bite, it tells them what they are expecting.

Slinging your diary pages across without context aren't going to mentally gear your readers towards your work, they'll get bumped out of it trying to find out what its about and what to expect.

This is almost complete nonsense. Write a better draft, probably. As a reader, I hate getting fucked around with so much vagary. So much telling to so little doing.

Your style isn't bad but tldr very amateur

dropped

kys

>I appreciate the never ending sameness. Although I've had days like this before.we're sitting on my couch. 3 generations of you have had this same day, this talk, these thoughts. all on my couch. why do you(all) react like that?This one's on me though. i need a new couch. shes going to remember it, my response and my couch. my choice in words will be a defining moment for us. this is some kind of measurement of my worth. I've done this before though. it gets so much easier actually. easier to do, but this one hurts. the place where things start to go south. I know it's happening before anything is said, she doesn't even know it. I bet she doesn't even know what she's doing. We'll see if I can fix this. patch things up. get her to sweep this under the carpet. The carpets going to have hills. lifes forcing you out of your comfortable routine.


I need a new couch. The girl I want to bring over is going to remember it, my response and my couch. It is a grounding for the memory. It feels like a measurement of my worth, like life is forcing me out of my comfortable routine, forcing US out of our comfortable routine. Despite this, I appreciate the never ending sameness. In this moment, I realized I didn't even know why I invited her over, I wasn't ready. I bet she doesn't even know what she's doing here, in this place, with somebody who doesn't know what they're doing. However, now is the time. My choice in words will be a defining moment for us.

"So, have you ever visited Veeky Forums?" I asked her. Her eyebrows raised in confusion, shifting upon my couch. "Um, what?" I've done this before though. It gets so much easier actually. Easier to do, but this time it hurts.

"It's an internet site I visit, its a message board." She nods to my response, attempting to break the silence that should've followed. "So, what kind of messages?" I cringed. "Mostly people calling each other faggots, and posting meaningless things to each other. Pictures of anime girls having sex." Oh fuck, I did not mean to say that last one. Her perfect eyebrows rose in sudden shock, the picture I painted for her suddenly biting her brain.

"Oh. That's kinda weird." She shifted to the left, the universal sign that she wanted to leave. No, not now, don't leave. We'll see if I can fix this. patch things up. get her to sweep this under the carpet.

"I only visited it as a joke because a friend spends all of his time on there." Her eyebrow curled into suspicion, her eyes locking onto me.

"...you have friends?" The carpets going to have hills soon, with how much stuff that's gonna be brushed away under these carpets. Life's forcing you out of your comfortable routine. I guess now is better than ever.

"No, I don't. That changes today though. I want to change."
-------------
There we go. I just wrote the thing for you. You just need people.

It's boring as fuck to read, but you need to insert an interesting conflict, a relation of feelings, and most of all, focus on characterization.

interesting

You write like my highschool english teacher who was actually a shops teacher

like a faggot

That's because I am that teacher.

You faggot.