What should I write about if I want to get published?

...

The schism between the dreams of baby boomers and the dreams of millennials. Except make it a metaphor.

A gay trans black Jew fighting against whitey and his patriarchal machine. Except make it a metaphor.

Something Hollywood can option on a small budget. Something that housewives will want to tell each other about.

Update Romeo and Juliet, except make the families hate each other over their opposing USA political views. Their mutual hatred ends up getting the kids killed. It's a metaphor.

Update Moby Dick, but make it about the modern crude oil business. The hunt for the white whale becomes the hunt for an elephant oil field. The obsessed wildcatter dies in the end by getting crushed by falling rig debris when he finally taps the gusher he's been hunting for. It's a metaphor.

Update As I Lay Dying, but make Addie a rich white WASP, and her super-rich family's travails trying to get her back to be buried with a ballast stone from the Mayflower in Plymouth, MA. It's a metaphor.

I've considered creating a Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr profiles from which I would post self-important, encouraging and bitchy snippets of prose and poetry for young women to identify with. My hate for that cliched shit is so huge and all-consuming that I'm practically living it. I completely understand and bask in the essence of shitty quirkygirl literature.
Then, after maybe a year, after all the girls start eating that shit up, browsing through everything I've written as they're riding in buses, sharing that crap with all their friends etc., I would reveal that it was all a ruse and that I am a man. Also, I would probably earn some cash, too. Actually, if the gravy train would get very loaded, maybe I'd continue doing it.

Jews are oppressors now, must be muslim instead

i've considered doing that too but once i get a reputation i would start sneaking in better stuff to slowly undermine their tastebuds

A Scottish Highlander fucking the shit out of an American or English Aristocrat.

Or a teenage comedy romance where one of the characters die.

ITT: Veeky Forums thinks that they could make it if only they pretend to be girls on the internet

>A gay trans black Jew fighting against whitey and his patriarchal machine. Except make it a metaphor.
This except xhe also wants to convert to islam, but is afraid to come out to xer islamophobic albino furry trans fat margarine kin undocumented lover, about her interest in the religion of peace

Make it political, but either go all the way or make it a metaphor. Also it has to be left-leaning.

Make sure to make a ton of references to classic literature so it seems more intellectual and inspired than it really is

Make sure the story has a plot focusing on love; bonus points if it's interracial or lesbian

The setting should be urban; make sure you give great detail to hipster fashion and indie music even though it's really just window dressing

Include a needless sad scene or two so that people have an emotional reaction, thus ensuring that the book stands out in their memory

Make sure that you recycle lots of locations so Hollywood can adapt it easily

It needs to have a sarcastic, witty edge; make sure the prose makes fun of itself on occasion

Ensure that one of the major characters is a poet or a writer so that it's meta and because literature awards like that; also ensure that a major character is a filmmaker as Hollywood likes to adapt things that glorify it

And, of course, make sure that it's not very long

Self publish

Yes, goy. Self-publish. Give us your shekels, and we'll put your story in print for you.

What's that? Getting it printed isn't enough for you? You want people to actually read it? Well, for even more shekels, our subsidiary will help you with your cover art...

The plight of white men in the current social climate. Race war now.

This actually happened to me I tried to approach some printing firm to print out copies of a short story I wrote.
The owner was unironically named larry (((goldstien))), At every-step of the process he tried to offer me multiple times special printing process, kept insisting for me to pay more for insigficant things like bookmarks, terrible cover art pages, and even tried to make me buy a fountain pen, I could not get anywhere with the guy without him trying get me pay even more shit.
I eventually stopped going to the place. I still haven't published the book today.

Write a book about a character reading the works of James Joyce and trying to apply what he learns from it to his everyday life. He fails for a fair while before finally making some meaningful insight, only to be killed moments later by a crazed blooms-day re-enactor.

you have to finish your book first and foremost
as for what you have to write you can either write whatever you what or you can follow Today you basically need to be far left to be published

yoiu are 4orgetting the seven gorrilion

flavor of the week fantasy crap moves boatloads, as do romance novels. The question is how much self respect you have?

just to a YA novel and you will be fine

What's wrong with romances desu?

This

Actually YA has been in popular decline
Its just the rise and fall of trends
I see the next trend of books would be about politics