What should I write about if I want to get published?

...

The schism between the dreams of baby boomers and the dreams of millennials. Except make it a metaphor.

A gay trans black Jew fighting against whitey and his patriarchal machine. Except make it a metaphor.

Something Hollywood can option on a small budget. Something that housewives will want to tell each other about.

Update Romeo and Juliet, except make the families hate each other over their opposing USA political views. Their mutual hatred ends up getting the kids killed. It's a metaphor.

Update Moby Dick, but make it about the modern crude oil business. The hunt for the white whale becomes the hunt for an elephant oil field. The obsessed wildcatter dies in the end by getting crushed by falling rig debris when he finally taps the gusher he's been hunting for. It's a metaphor.

Update As I Lay Dying, but make Addie a rich white WASP, and her super-rich family's travails trying to get her back to be buried with a ballast stone from the Mayflower in Plymouth, MA. It's a metaphor.

I've considered creating a Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr profiles from which I would post self-important, encouraging and bitchy snippets of prose and poetry for young women to identify with. My hate for that cliched shit is so huge and all-consuming that I'm practically living it. I completely understand and bask in the essence of shitty quirkygirl literature.
Then, after maybe a year, after all the girls start eating that shit up, browsing through everything I've written as they're riding in buses, sharing that crap with all their friends etc., I would reveal that it was all a ruse and that I am a man. Also, I would probably earn some cash, too. Actually, if the gravy train would get very loaded, maybe I'd continue doing it.

Jews are oppressors now, must be muslim instead

i've considered doing that too but once i get a reputation i would start sneaking in better stuff to slowly undermine their tastebuds

A Scottish Highlander fucking the shit out of an American or English Aristocrat.

Or a teenage comedy romance where one of the characters die.

ITT: Veeky Forums thinks that they could make it if only they pretend to be girls on the internet

>A gay trans black Jew fighting against whitey and his patriarchal machine. Except make it a metaphor.
This except xhe also wants to convert to islam, but is afraid to come out to xer islamophobic albino furry trans fat margarine kin undocumented lover, about her interest in the religion of peace