>be me
>have to write an essay for philosophy class
>spend 3 months on it
>structure it in a series of numbered aphorisms in the vein of Goethe and Schopenhauer
>get back my paper
>no grade, failure
>teacher writes "this is the best essay I have read all year but it is structured in entirely the wrong way and has no introduction or conclusion"
>mfw
When will Academia be burned down for the scam that it is?
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I hope this is bait
If not you really, sincerely have autism
>>post delusional fib about own intelligence on Veeky Forums >>mention names of two writers in post
>they'll surely believe me and sympathize!
What's autistic about my post?
Projection?
>be me
>have to write a short story using the Hero's Quest structure for 9th grade English
>had just read Lolita, which restored my love for literature
>write a story about a 18-year-old who develops the courage of pursuing a pubescent girl
>get back my paper
>"Not exactly a Hero's quest, but you clear demonstrate a high grasp of the English language."
>get an A+ anyway, success
Pretty stupid looking back on it, but I was obsessed with Nabokov at the time.
Essays, especially essays for college courses, are not a chance for you to write a rambling focusless treatise in a meme format because you're putting yourself on a fucking Goethe-tier pedestal. They are a chance for you to write a structured essay with a coherent argument.
>But I'm so far ahead of this education system, you plebs don't understand!
No you're not.
this, desu. There's a reason courses require you to write in a specific structure.
Post it
>to write a rambling focusless treatise in a meme format because you're putting yourself on a fucking Goethe-tier pedestal. They are a chance for you to write a structured essay with a coherent argument.
Who says my essay wasn't structured? It was structured numerically.
Who hath created such an arbitrary system which requires an "Introduction" and a "conclusion"?
Are you implying this structure is really applicable to all forms of essays?
Why are you such an academia cuck? I know why! You're probably a fucking University student or worker yourself!
Fuck off shill!
"no"
>cuck
>shill
Oh, so it was just bait the whole time
Follow instructions or fail. It's a good life lesson.
Know your audience.
Not an argument.
I would read it
>be me
>have to write a 10 page essay on Derrida and deconstruction for class
>procrastinate for a month
>have one day to write play
>play Dota 2 instead
>three hours to write
>quickly rephrase shit I've found on plato.stanford.edu and send it
>A+
Crabs in a bucket.
bump.
>this is the best essay I have read all year
ITT: Things that never happened
>Doesn't understand baseline instructions in freshman philosophy course
>"I'm not a retard, you're just a... c-c-cuck!"
I've noticed that it's always people who never give an argument to rebuke that end up saying this.
>Inb4 not an argument
It actually did happen, not meming.
>Instructions
More like an outdated arbitrary structure which most philosophers don't even follow.
>he's memeing confirmed
>arbitrary
yup, this guy is probably a community college dropout with a madeup story
You aren't a philosopher, you're a student learning about philosophy. And from the sound of it a pretty fucking dense one.
Your autism power level is far too high and your self-awareness far too low to ever have anything coherent to say about the human condition or the world around us, so if philosopher is your eventual goal, find something else.
>it actually did happen
Then post the essay.
this.
If the essay was so good, how about posting it? Or at least a significant excerpt
No, your professor is just awful.
Mine last term specifically said that any effective structure is acceptable. Note that I've been writing for longer than most of you have been alive, but begun my formal education on the topic this year. Meaning I know how to structure.
Any professor demanding a single format is trash. At most, they can suggest a format.
>they're a chance to teach you to rely on a single (bad) format.
>doing isn't better than learning.
also,
>human condition
Your understanding of philosophy is nonexistent.
Humanities education: the post.
STEMsperg education:
>be normalfag STEMsperg
>only in university because my parents memed me
>party or play video games all day
>terrible at everything, barely passing with a 2.5 (and that's with copying other's homework!)
>still party or play video games all day, skip classes to party or play video games
>eventually fall below a 2.0 and get kicked out
>commit sudoku after dick falls off from a combination of STIs and fucking around in the lab with improper safety equipment and general recklessness
>commit sudoku
or,
>be autistic/asian STEMsperg
>play video games a lot but spend all day studying too
>if asian, then cheat to continue LoL/DOTA/MMO addiction
>if asian, never speak a word of English unless required
>"omg i teh bes students evar"
>fail a final when the test answers you bought were fake or the test was changed last minute
>commit sudoku
...
>butthurt
I've actually been through a STEMsperg education. The actuality of something is not 'butthurt' you fucking redditor.
>I've actually been through a STEMsperg education
>play video games all day
>fall below a 2.0 and get kicked out
>is not 'butthurt'
I didn't do any of that.
'been through'
1. Edgar realized, with a sort of laugh, that every joke he had recently heard had been told by himself, to himself, and at his own expense.
>wall of text in response to level 0 bait
>I'm not mad
Your community college experiences have little to do with actual STEM education, fampai. :^)
>wall of text
it took a minute to write.
>community college
Nope.
This is hilarious, I ought to come to Veeky Forums more often.
>creative writing professor gave me a B+ and his only criticism was "what is wrong with you?" written at the end of the story in red pen
post it
lost it in a HD wipe. The assignment was really open ended. Basically just write a creative fiction story, and then the professor will read it in front of the class, you remaining anonymous if you choose.
He was actually kind of neutral and had some praise for the story in class in that it was kind of an interesting psychological study even if it was grotesque.
Basically, the story was about a guy who had been creepily stalking some girl from her childhood, she got a boyfriend and fucked him with infuriated her stalker, he killed her boyfriend and abducted her while she was in a corn maze, took her to his house where he showed her all kinds of pictures of her fucking her boyfriend and demanding that she explain, when she broke down in tears he anesthetized her, muted her and amputated her limbs.
He then proceeded to rape her on a daily basis and confine her in a pitch black box under his bed when she wasn't being used, fed or cleaned. Eventually she grew to enjoy the rape as her only form of human interaction. Later she learns that there are other boxes with girls he also uses as sexual appliances which made her insanely jealous, she resented them because they meant she would spend more time in the box. So she got out of her box one night and plugged the air holes on the other boxes with her body, slowly suffocating all of her competition. When her master found what she had done all she could do was smile and offer him her mouth. He pulled her teeth out and raped her bleeding mouth, put a gun to her head and blew her brains out as he orgasmed.
It was a community college course so i didn't really give a fuck and I was an edgy 19 year old.
>Eventually she grew to enjoy the rape as her only form of human interaction.
>He pulled her teeth out and raped her bleeding mouth, put a gun to her head and blew her brains out as he orgasmed.
Holy shit
Props to you though, I wouldn't have the balls to give my professor something like that
jfc, user, what else did you expect? Your story sounds like something straight out of an old /b/ gore thread.
they all said to me that "i am talented", and look where i am right now. I pray to God every day for a chance to meet teacher that filled me with false hope instead of teaching me anything decent, and says how i despise her
Best post of the thread.
Interestingly fucked and disturbing but I would be worried they'd make some sort of report about me if I made something like that. Then again it's community college so I get it.
what is wrong with you?
If you don't have haters, you're not doing something new or useful.
wrong
reenact your story with your teacher :)
>take african american literature class because I was on probation and signed up late, other options were even worse
>black female """""professor"""""
>write "the train going into the dark tunnel is a microcosm for his life spiraling downwards"
>post examples from the text and point out paralells between this train sequence and his actions
>"""""professor""""" circles microcosm and writes "what does this word mean?" as a note
>get a B minus
>black football player next to me gets a B+
>ask to see what he wrote
>it's essentially a sparknotes plot synopsis
so gay
I would never give a fail grade only for structural problems, especially if I thought that the writing and argument was good.
But, in general OP, get over yourself.
Corollary: if you have haters, it's much more likely it's because you are a self-righteous retard rather than a genius
idk, they wanted to medicate me in elementary school but my mom told them to fuck off lmao.
Stay unmedicated, user
Bullshit OP how did she get out of the box, let alone open the other boxes
she didn't open the other boxes, just squirmed on top of them and pressed herself against the air holes, which were small and only on the tops of the boxes. Normally the girls were all given a small dose of sedative when he boxed them up which was why it took her so long to discover her sister sextoys, but she discretely spit it out, her master believing she had become so obedient at that point that he didn't need to check to make sure she had taken it.
The boxes had two clasps, brass, screwed on. She loosened the screws on one of the clasps using her mouth and a screwdriver (having sucked her master's cock daily for what seemed like an eternity, she was extremely talented when it came to manipulating objects with her mouth) when her master wasn't looking.
Her problem came when she tried to get back into her box, she couldn't get the lid closed on account of not having hands, she struggled awkwardly with her mouth, trying to pull the lid shut as she got in the box but failed. She was forced to leave the lid open and was awake when her master woke up to discover a collection of dead sex toys under his bed which made it obvious she had not taken her sedatives and had done it.
Her master flew off the handle accusing her of trying to free his slaves and being ungrateful towards him, she shook her head while crying, he didn't, perhaps he couldn't understand that she did it out of love rather than spite.
>she shook her head while crying, he didn't, perhaps he couldn't understand that she did it out of love rather than spite.
That's greek level of tragedy.