Female Authors

I'd like a list of ten authors who play trombone.

Thank you for your contribution user
Other posters please consider these in your lists

>Please avoid woman hate without citing the author and the book you read that you hate.

Are there any good authors who are noble but not in line for the throne? I feel like there's maybe five of those in total. List, pls

How on earth is playing the trombone woman hating? Perhaps some of the trombone playing authors are women also, and playing the trombone has improved their confidence and soothed their spirit to the point of not hating anyone. Please think before you respond.

user I there are no trombone playing authors

I need a must read list of authors with sideburns. Must be fiction, cannot be bearded. Moustaches acceptable.

No. I have dreams you will not kill. Fucking flautists.

Except, apparently, spelling.

*thinks* jeez shopping is hard
looks around
makes list of what she wants
goes home and gives the list of things to her assistant to go and pick up

I'd add Wise Blood, by O'Connor

let's begin with something a bit easier than what OP asked for

how about a list of 10 must read books written by child molesters?

This thread is why I love Veeky Forums
It is a self explanation on why women weren't allowed to write.
Now tell me, why should they be allowed to do so? Give me five reasons.

1. Sit
2. on
3. my
4. face,
5. roastie

>Now tell me, why should they be allowed to do so? Give me five reasons.

1. ....

Hmm. I don't know.

I need a must read list of authors (10 books max.) who lived in bungalows. I want to see if there's some lack of dimension or sprawl to their prose which has been effected by their environment. Books written in (or near) bungalows would be particularly helpful. Thanks Veeky Forums

Is this a subtle troll? These are all fucking horrible.

I'd like a must read list of authors who published more than 10 books but never got choice of cover. They've got to be into some depraved shit.

A Y N R A N D
Y
N
R
A
N
D

How about a must read list of authors who didn't get published until after dead

some pretty ahead-of-time work, I imagine

Could I get a must read list of books by lingerie designers? I need it for reasons.

the must read list of authors who were refused publication initially is pretty based, i can't imagine those who only got reprieve after death would be a disappointment. seconding this.

I bet you like the taste of perineum and testicle sweat. Pls be in London.

In addition to what said, I'd recommend:

Zora Neale Hurston - Their Eyes Were Watching God

I would also recommend you avoid Maya Angelou. Her strength as a poet does not merit the attention she deserves. Indeed, you should note her actions and the way those who favor her discuss her. Maybe you will conclude — not entirely incorrectly — that she is a "must avoid" rather than "must read."

One other oft-recommended female author I suggest you avoid is Toni Morrison. Although I suppose I should say avoid Sula, as that is the only novel of hers I've read. If you want to see for yourself, try reading Sula and then Their Eyes Were Watching God for an example of failure and success.

>Only one person of color.
Try again goy.

>Catalog
You must be fun at parties.

Books where a character smokes Turkish cigarettes. Hit me up Veeky Forumsr/ates

Official list of the only good women writers:
Sappho

Frankenstein

and I'm drawing a blank

Literally all shit

Let's play a game: I name the greatest male authors and you try to name their female equivalents

Shakespeare
Dante
Chaucer
Cervantes
Goethe
Tolstoy
Dostoyevsky
Kafka
TS Eliot
Joyce
DFW
Pynchon

>he doesn't like HD
>he doesn't like Christina Rossetti
>he wants to be snarky without reading Parker
no yuri gf for you
not a designer, but Parker did come up with the line
>brevity is the soul of lingerie
which you may have reasons to keep in mind

>that list
Sometimes I do really worry we have created awful monsters who genuinely believe that.

Let's play a game: pull out our dicks and use a scalpel to remove one millimeter thick slices until one of us quits!

>implying HD or Christina Rossetti are anything other than minor poets
You're proving my point
And Parker is garbage
Sorry, here's the real list:
Jane Austen
John Green
JK Rowling

Better?
t. buttmad roastwhore

>implying you can sing greek
user, you have shit taste in english, let's not have to get on vocaroo to prove how plen you are. you like a translator

Not an argument

>that list
It seems like a continuation. Did we break you, or are you just trying to give me hope we could create such monsters?

eironeiakekekekekekek

>All these buttmad liberals having a fit when their false narrative of female equality crumbles.
I don't think less of them but don't pretend they're mentally or physically equal.

I'm still convinced there're books by female trombone players. I think you're too lazy to look for them and no help at all, so, fuck off lady until you learn to play trombone and write a novel, thank you kindly.

Except, apparently, literally.

...

Proof that women are incapable of arguing.

Just admit it, women are inferior.

Wow, someone's a bitter virgin. My holes are closed to you!

HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US
HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US
REFUGEES, PUT YOUR COCK INSIDE US!

If you're a woman, then it might lend some weight to the idea that women are idiots. Post tits or else I'll have to assume that we took a man and turned him into a blubbering brainwashed child. Either way, I win, but I think it's more likely you're going to have to transition to keep the male name clean.
He wasn't talking to you, ho, but he's got money to burn if he's listening to Veeky Forums recs like that. Might as well spend it on pussy as bad art.

Their Eyes Were Watching God is a terrible example in both content and form.

I'm undecided as to whether this post is a post-ironic, neosincere masterpiece or written by a retard

fuck
I'm i totally forgot Ayn Rand. Atlas Shrugged is pretty key

Here's the deal with Maya Angelou
She's garbage, but if you read the Caged Bird, then you can't look like a bigot to others, and that's kind of important in different circles

Are you racist little niggers forgetting about OPRAH the biggest one of all? Come the fuck on

Or that black one on star trek, winnie or whatever.

Orlando - Virginia Woolf
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Bad Behavior - Mary Gaitskill
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angleou
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Hour of the Star - Clarice Lispector
Delta of Venus - Anais Nin
Escapes - Joy Williams
The Human Condition - Hannah Arendt
A Good Man is Hard to Find - Flannery O'Connor
The Awakening - Kate Chopin

Women were not allowed to be educated or write for a long period of time. This is the cause of the disparity between volume of established works of men and women. Stop parroting the 'women suck' mantra; it's worthless. We're here to discuss books. Splitting up books into arbitrary categories like race and sex is stupid and not productive. Use things like genre, time of publication, setting, themes, characters etc.
Why isn't there a 'which 20th century protagonist do you most identify with?' thread?

Either interpretation would be a continuation of the proof your brain is pudding started by that list. I think we actually broke you, and now you're marked for life as one of Veeky Forums's casualties whenever you talk about books to anyone.

>Women were not allowed to be educated or write for a long period of time.
this is the retarded shit americans learn in terms of history, forgetting the class system ever existed
>Portia and Narissa were obviously seen as witches
>the start of western canon has no females
>people didn't think the universe was a fucking egg for centuries because this one mystic bint in the rhine
ffs years didn't start at 1776

Listen, fuck face. Your time is done, the pendulum is swinging back. You lost.

>hopping on a pendulum while in motion
why

>Splitting up books into arbitrary categories like race and sex is stupid and not productive.

I believe women are inferior in every way. The recent outburst of the liberal college women that surround me is extremely obnoxious and frustrating. I am genuinely interested in reading the best female lit put out in history and making my decision off that. 10 books of merit is not a lot to ask for and I was looking for someone like you to actually put a serious response down.

Please suggest me the best one to read first, if it is shit I will likely trashcan the rest of them.

m8 it doesn't sound like you'd read one book by a male author tbph

Jane Austen is one of the greatest writers in the history of the English language, to Veeky Forums's eternal frustration.

Although honestly Pride and Prejudice is one of her plebbier works. Read Emma or Northanger Abbey instead.

Get behind me, /pol/

I am tired of you people

If I cut my balls off will I stop being attracted to the walking flesh holes?

I gave you my favorite, not the best of all time. I haven't read every book in the world. You do see how imposible this is. If a woman asked you to give her one book written by a man to prove they aren't all retarded, what would you give her? The bible? One of the meme trilogy? It is flawed to make your decision of half the population on one book but I will humor you. Choose Jane Eyre or Orlando. Read a summary or background and choose which one you think you'd be most interested in. Read that one and then if you hate, you are truly unconvincable and so be it.

I don't know what your problem is dude, it's like you're annoyed by a couple billion people you've never met. The only chicks I see give me food, so it's hard to hold anything much against them, really. It's not like I'm going to sperg out that my waiter might suck my dick when he brings me coffee if I happen to get a guy that day.
Read a book. Or ask your waiter to suck your cock if it gets really bad, I dunno.

It's ironic because Winston Churchill was conservative and hated Muslims.

This.
I've never seen anyone else mention it, and apparently it got pretty meh reviews, but I fucking love this book. It was my favorite for a long time.

Ha! Fair point.

Oh?

>Implying an insult can be construed as a fallacious argument instead of an insult

What do you guys think the collective IQ of /pol/ is? I'd wager in the ballpark of 90-95.

Flannery O'Connor, George Eliot, and Woolf are seriously good and untouchable by the lame, shrill naysaying that comes up in these threads asking for female authors.

And Zadie Smith deserves a mention. I always though that her fiction is a blast and that her non-fiction is on point.

Fun fact: the first woman to write a book in English, Julian of Norwich, lived in the wall of her church.

Honestly, Woolf was far more successful at portraying consciousness than Joyce was.

Also, your list is shit.

1. Sappho

Oh look, literally reason enough for eternity

This place is unsalvageable.
But bless you for trying, you unspoiled beauty

I have yet to see a woman with discernible intelligence and depth.

"user you have to meet ****** she is really smart"
pic related

Oh good another thread where people pretend Middlemarch is a terrible novel.

>Woolf was far more successful at portraying consciousness than Joyce was

For you

you can always spot the bitter virgins by the posts in these sort of threads

> your list is shit
> shakespeare, kafka, dostoevskij
pick one and then kys

I want to cum inside her swifty :3

A Tale of Genji

I know a lot of smart people but I hang out in fields that have meritocracy barriers and they might not leave you in. For instance, do you know many smart men? Not like, you consider them smart, but like, discovered a new compound/equation/medical procedure which is considered revolutionary in their field smart. If you know a lot of them I'm surprised you don't know smart women, because you'd almost need to be searching out dumb ones if being able to find the roots of a quadratic in your head is a minimum standard for men to associate with you.
tl;dr- have you considered opposites attracting might not be the case here?

the modern japanese version of sei shonogon is proof men shouldn't be allowed script anything other than anime

Read Hannah Arendt, son.

I'm not even a virgin or /r9k/ but I unironically don't have any books by women in my collection and don't really care if that changes or not.

Lol

>Julian of Norwich, lived in the wall of her church
I mean, not really. She lived in isolation in a little room attached to the main part of the church. There was (and is, you can visit the room they reconstructed from the foundations) even a little window so she could watch the daily worship from her room. She basically decided to be a hermit after having visionary experiences during an illness whilst she was a regular nun. If not common, it certainly wasn't unheard of at the time.

You may not be a virgin but you are a pleb. Several female authors are must reads

>ctrl-f
>no willa cather

>Maya Angelou - I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
>Harper Lee - To Kill A Mockingbird
>Charlotte Brontë - Jane Eyre

My 9th grade English teacher made me read all these. I really hated Why The Caged Bird Sings and was bored out of my mind by Jane Eyre, should I try them again?

Near to the Wild Heart- Clarice Lispector

You're welcome

I don't put that much stock into "must-reads" either. Sure I've read a fair deal of formative classics and books/authors whose reputation in the broader public arena preceded them, though I maintain that you'd have to be a hollow meme of a person to live and die by lists of names and titles like that. My favorites are seldom, if at all, discussed. Maybe if I was younger and cared more about following the herd I'd be a chaser of these "must-reads" but I know what I like and there's only so much time to experience as much of it as possible.

I had to read Jane Eyre for a high school class years ago too. From what I recall it was a drab little soap opera and one read was a read too many. I can't see it improving much with age even on the off chance that there's nuance we glossed over during that reading.