How do I even bother doing anything when the below greentext is happening 24/7...

For every person that became successful by doing nothing there are 10 that succeeded through less glamorous means which almost anyone can do. Luck certainly has a lot to do with succeeding but many people think luck is a bigger factor than it really is because the lucky get more attention.

Take it easy OP. Comparing yourself to others will never make you happy. Also, stop shitting up Veeky Forums with blogposts, thanks.

Well then how do I succeed by working? I have social anxiety, can't go outside my house, I'm a klutz who can't do anything manual, and I failed high school math. I fucking despise myself, and there's nothing I can do about it, I'll remain a stupid failure.

Adjust your expectations. I'm everything you mentioned and perfectly happy being a shutin NEET.

Well I'm highly unhappy about my current state and I'm so ashamed I had suicidal thoughts. I can't live like this and not being able to achieve things and justify my existence is slowly ruining me. I don't know what to do. The fact that I'm not in STEM and won't be able to enter STEM and much less achieve something noteworthy in it is ruining me. I can't simply change my expectations of myself. I'm morally guilty because I didn't put the effort into succeeding when I could and because I'm too stupid, and I don't know what to do to repair what I've done. It seems too late now, and I'm condemned to a miserable existence of NEETdom. Life sucks.

bugs.. easy on the carrots

>I can't simply change my expectations of myself.
Yes you can, just not overnight.

Veeky Forums probably isn't good for you if you feel this way. Go out and do some stuff you would never normally do. If you have no social life and despise yourself then why does it matter if you try something and make a fool out of yourself? Curing you social anxiety is probably your most paramount issue because the more you're able to put yourself into the real world the more opportunities you will find so you can escape NEETdom

Still doesn't explain how? Like it's easy to say you can change over the long time, but personality traits don't change that much...

Veeky Forums makes me sad because I don't understand a lot of the posts, and most posters are smarter than me, but overall Veeky Forums is like the best thing that happened to me since I was like 10. And it's difficult to explain, but I don't like people seeing me doing things that they don't expect me to do, and this is a problem, because since I don't normally go outside, and I live with my parents, then they would see me going outside and it would be hell for me to deal with. Despite that though, it does matter to me if I make a fool of myself. Every single moment where I've been ridiculed or failed since I was like in primary school I still remember, and it still haunts me. I still beat myself over those things. But what should I do outside that I don't do normally? I also wish I didn't have social anxiety because I ruined my life because of it, like a stupid person. But now I don't know what to do.

>Still doesn't explain how? Like it's easy to say you can change over the long time, but personality traits don't change that much...

not him, but you feel this way about yourself because you think these thought about yourself. You need to go out and do something that convinces you that you are awesome, and capable of being awesome, because you are. It's hard to begin and change those thoughts about yourself, especially if you have clinical depression, but that's basically how.
Stop comparing yourself to others is the first step. You are not them, you do not have the same environment as them, opportunities as them, it's an unfair assessment against yourself. Or if you have to, compare yourself to someone with a miserable existence compared to your own, just to help you appreciate the small things, like being able to walk, having a computer, having good grammar/sentence structure. I can tell from the way you write you're not a total lost cause, you can only improve from here.

Never beat yourself up over what you can't do. Praise yourself for what you can do.

Do what you have fun with or what you are interested in and you will stop caring about the things you wanted to achieve but couldn't due to lack of ability or motivation (you can't be successful in STEM if you're not honestly interested in it) after some time.

We need to make this happen on Veeky Forums. Someone samefag this shit. I have too much dignity to.

Comparing myself to my old self is meaningless, when others can achieve more, which shows that I could do more myself. I need to at least emulate their successes. Sure I'm not them, but I got similar chances and ruined them. They can do difficult things, I can't. Sure, I can compare myself to the disabled, but then that's not fair. Sure I can walk, and do these things but if I can't accomplish anything else, then I'm not worth anything. I can't justify my existence or make others happy or contribute to anything if I can just walk or have a computer.

I had fun in STEM, I just never did my homework, because I was lazy, I fell behind, was stupid, failed exams and that's it. Now I'm stuck with a useless diploma with which I can't do anything. And I tried learning STEM, I self-taught myself differential calculus like 3 years after everyone else learned it because I'm a retard, and I wanting to start integral too so I can eventually learn a bit more advanced math and redeem a part of my honour (or be less ashamed). But even then, I'll still be a useless NEET.

my main point is positive thinking is a huge thing. And if you HAVE to compare yourself, make it a comparison that makes you appreciate your condition.
>Comparing myself to my old self is meaningless, when others can achieve more, which shows that I could do more myself.
im sorry but that makes 0 sense. The only reason im in a PhD program is because my parents threw money at me when i failed out. If i was born to poorer parents, id be working retail and trying to make my way up the corporate ladder, having squandered my first opportunity (a full ride). Yea i can compare myself to the guys 3-4 years younger than me in my program, but what good does that do for myself, for bettering myself?
Use people more successful than you as motivation, but don't beat yourself up you're not there. Someone will always be better than you, someone will always be worse than you. You have to live for yourself, not for others, and achieve what you can, not what others can.

>my main point is positive thinking is a huge thing. And if you HAVE to compare yourself, make it a comparison that makes you appreciate your condition.

Why? How is that more objective? I compare myself to others who were put in similar situations as me (like taking the same exams, etc.). What's you PhD in? And how did you get there? I want to better myself, not just feel better, without being better. It's just a meme if you rig the criteria and conditions of your self-evaluation so you know you end up with a positive condition. I want to really better myself, not just feel better in the end. I want to get into STEM, I feel that's the only thing that would make me alright about myself, and I want to be good in STEM, but I don't know how to reach this.

Feeling better about yourself isnt something that just happens, you have to prove it to yourself by being better. That means actively extending yourself for opportunities, and not squandering them like you mentioned in with your homework/tests/studying. The reason i feel so self confident in my abilities (and im not that smart trust me) is because i didnt take shortcuts when it came to studying, or putting in work.
>I want to get into STEM, I feel that's the only thing that would make me alright about myself, and I want to be good in STEM, but I don't know how to reach this.
why though? because of Veeky Forums circlejerks? What if you join STEM, do research and hate it? What is your reason for wanting to be in STEM? If it's just because "oh smart people are there", you're going to fail eventually, like another user said, you HAVE to be interested in your subject to the point of enjoying learning about it, craving knowledge, being generally curious.
My PhD is for biochemistry. I applied during my senior year of undergrad, expecting nothing back because of my shitty older transcripts, but got accepted to 3 out of 8 programs. I used to have a MAJOR fear of failure, to the point of not extending myself in situations where i was able to fail, but that is the worst thing you can do to yourself. It took actually failing for me to be humbled and realize failing is just a step towards succeeding.

>Why? How is that more objective?
because comparing yourself to others is subjective, as you're comparing only a single, or few, metrics, like test scores. You dont know how much effort that person actually put in for their grade. They probably studied their ass off. If you studied the exact same amount of time, same amount of material, and STILL got a differing grade, it's simply because YOU ARE NOT THAT PERSON and your brain is not theirs. People get things quicker than other people. I can memorize protein cascades super easily, but have insane difficulty with microorganism names. Realize your strengths and weaknesses and play to them.
Good study habits too. Do not procrastinate. Study every day if possible, if not just for a little (20 minutes a subject for me). Then take time off at night so you dont burn out, i smoke weed and watch tv or play video games religiously every day, it's my burnout outlet

I want to do something too, I just don't want to feel better by feeling better. I want to accomplish something, I just don't know how now that I've squandered every single opportunity I've ever had. I was stupid and I have trouble working or staying focused even on things I enjoy for too long. Usually, when I study, I have to walk while doing it, otherwise I can't sit down and read. I stopped doing any homework since like the beginning of high school because I wasn't supervised, even if I enjoyed the subjects.

Not because of Veeky Forums circlejerk, I wanted this before I knew Veeky Forums was a thing. The only thing I've ever enjoyed was learning for the sake of learning. It seems not to be that way because of how things turned out for me, but it is. I don't want fame or cash, I just want to do research. Even in the deadend diploma I did. And it's not because there's smart people in STEM, but because I liked and always, but I am terrible at it.

Well, my life is now a failure. I know I have to try, but I don't know how to anymore. I can't transfer to another program and I could fail the one I'm in (because of not being able to do an intership, not because of grades), so I feel stuck and I don't know what to do.

I also used to be really arrogant before, but now I'm more humble, and I realize the others were better than me, and that I was the failure.

JUST B U'RESELF BRO

well you're remarkably self-aware of your own issues, which is already a good start. The only way you are going to start feeling better about yourself is if you do better yourself, by breaking from whatever cycle you had going in highschool and college. Homework is not optional, it's there to help you learn the material, and you said you enjoy learning for the sake of it, so why wouldnt you do your homework?
Your life isnt a failure. You're in a program. that's already better than a solid 50% of wageslaves.
>I know I have to try, but I don't know how to anymore.
I can't help you here. Desperation helped me, working retail is the worst, and every good grade i got was pushing me further and further from ever having to do that again, and i actively knew it. Studying the right subject (the one that interests you personally) is also extremely important.
>I also used to be really arrogant before, but now I'm more humble, and I realize the others were better than me, and that I was the failure.
very good start at turning your life around. You know how many people would never admit THEY were the problem? Ego is such a huge thing.
What is your field?

I was in sort of a similar situation to yours in high school. My grades were dropping and I was an obese loner ; I wasn't happy. I have no idea if this will work for you but I started weightlifting. My body started to improve and I felt true pride in my own accomplishments. I'm still fat but it gave me the confidence and motivation to continue to improve myself in body and mind. This is very unspecific and probably not helpful but try to find some motivation. I guarantee things will turn around for you if you find motivation and work hard. You have all of the other things you need to succeed.

Well, it's easy to look at where you've gone wrong when it's all you can think about. Well, I enjoyed studying and reading the material, but when I was at home, I couldn't sit still for 20 minutes to do my homework, while I was forced to do it at school. It's not that I dislike it, it's just that I can't concentrate enough to do it. Even when I play video games, I can't play without taking a break to walk more than 1-2 hours. I can't explain it. One of my friends think I have ADD, but I'm unsure, as there's no proof outside of some symptoms. Also I procrastinate a lot. I can't give you a real reason for why I wouldn't do it, despite liking the subject.

>Studying the right subject (the one that interests you personally) is also extremely important.
I already know which subjects I enjoy, and which I don't, like the one I'm studying. And I'm studying law. I have a masters in law (I was too scared to switch programs or to directly starting working so I did a meme masters) but I can't use it or work with it because I don't like it, and I haven't found an internship (which is required to complete it). I'm already 23, and I fear it's too late for me.

Never too late my friend. My dad graduated in his late 30's and has a happy life now.

you are 23, with a masters in law, and are worried.... user people would murder to be in your situation. shit even im a little jealous. If you're serious about STEM, i would look for an internship, get a job, save a good amount of money, and then go back to school. But yea you're in pretty deep in the whole law thing. It's never too late to do anything, unless you tell yourself it is. Never be a defeatist with yourself, especially with age.
maybe you do have ADD, but if you have a master in law, you can clearly manage it to succeed.

the science and math is just oozing out of this blog post

Well, I didn't study anymore than I did mathematics. I don't know. I'm really serious about the STEM thing, yes, and why would you be jealous? I understand I'm in a better position than some others, but I could be better. I could have done better. I'm really ashamed of myself. And I don't know how to apply in a STEM program, I don't have the prerequisites.

And to add to that, law might be good for some people, but I'm too introvert to function in law.