Graduate with a BSc in Computer Science

>Graduate with a BSc in Computer Science
>Still don't know how to program

>Going to school to learn
>Not already knowing what they teach
>Not going to school just for networking and to get the piece of paper at the end

WEW

>Falling for the CS = programming meme

>Networking
How fucked am I
I have not met any colleague that wasn't brainlet relative to me, one came close but he kept using me for learning material so I stopped

>Graduate in mathematics
>still don't know how to flip burgers
Am I finished?

>graduate in EE
>still can't control my gag reflexes
nothing can save me

What is a better major for dealing with money that doesn't involve tons of programming? Programming can be a part but not the entire thing, for me it is too stressful and it is more fun as a hobby than job.

>graduate in computer engineering
>still can't solder cpus
I'm giving up on life

>letting everyone know you're smart and being everyone's walking textbook
Time past cannot be bought back, you done fucked up son, looks like you're not that smart after all.

what school? you can still land new grad jobs. they should say that in the job title. that said, if your school was a decent one, that begs the question of how you don't know programming. didn't you do any self projects?

>networking
i hate this meme everytime. no amount of cocksucking and kissing ass to your frat grindr bfs is going to get you a job if you're incompetent. stupid bizniz mba buzzword. all you gotta do is head out to your career fair and hand out resumes. recruiters there aren't gonna fall for your slick charisma PUA shite smoothtalking.

> no amount of cocksucking and kissing ass to your frat grindr bfs is going to get you a job if you're incompetent
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

>Currently grad student in pure mathematics, focusing on complex analysis and number theory
>I still do not know why implicit differentiation works

I am sure I have a whole list of elementary theorems/techniques that I never bothered to learn properly before I was already onto bigger things. Implicit differentiation is just one example I remembered.

If someone can explain it to me in less than 2000 characters then that'd be fun.

You got the BSc at least. We got so many companies here that want people with edu in CS or similar in beginner positions but give a fuck about actual abilities. As long as you don't have something like a BSc or a few certificates under the belt no one will fucking look at you or give you a chance, it's ridiculous...

Implicit differentiation involves treating differentiation as an operation that can be applied to both sides of an equation. If y^2 + y = 2x, then
(d/dx)(y^2 + y) = (d/dx)2x
Let y' = dy/dx, and by the chain rule (d/dx)y^2 = 2yy', so we get
2yy' + y' = 2
Now we have an equation in terms of y', which can be solved algebraically:
(2y + 1)y' = 2
y' = 2/(2y + 1)

Does that make sense?

>take two introductory cs courses at community college
>can program circles around the average CS major who barely knows how to search for premade templates

>be an excellent seductress
>all my tutors are fat old men

tfw fell for the women should into CS meme

Honestly everyone in my classes are so ugly

Zhang did all the programming while I just wrote the reports and presentations

>graduate BSc major in geology
>can't identify rocks

If two functions are equal, their derivatives are equal.

come to chemistry baby, ill give you a great time ;)

Look in the mirror!!!!!

>complete the exam for a module
>instantly forget everything you """"learned""""
>finish my degree
>forgotten everything useful

who else?

pretty much a lot of people

Good for you! Keep it up.

just copypaste using google like you did for every assignment

>got a degree in electrical engineering
>can't shoot lasers out of my eyes

then you're shit and fully deserve to be shit

>hey dad i got a buddy who's looking for a job but he doesn't have the required skills for this field lol
>oh sure son, lets give him an interview
>*fails the interview*
>*costs the company hundreds of hours of lost productivity and revenue*
Go suck off some of your frat bros diarreah asshole

>costs the company hundreds of hours of lost productivity
>WHAT ARE HR FOR?!

>Being 1st yr biomed and solving master level stats question for a friend's dissertation
>uni is a shill

>he unironically believes this

Do you have any social skills at all?

I'm as shocked as you are.

MERITOCRACY

Kek. I agree with it.
Networking is just Cock sucking.

But you will have to suck cock anyways.
Employers suck the boss cock. PhD students suck Advisors. Researchers suck to get funding. Entrepreneurs suck cock if Customers & Banks.

>don't know how to write code
FTFY fgt pls

Writing code is easy, getting it work is hard