How to Restore BRAIN Functions?

I've been reading this book on breathing meditation:
>goodreads.com/book/show/148596.Breath_by_Breath

I'm still pretty early into it, but it doesn't seem like the purpose of meditation is to turn you into an empty-minded zombie. How could the author have written a book where he shares all his insights if that was the case?

This might be some high level shit, but you can watch thoughts unfold in your head while also being mindful of them. Forcing your mind blank is probably the wrong approach.

Its probably good to disrupt those bad habits before you find new ones. Maybe there is a way to transition without it, but I think the safe route is to get rid of your current pattern before you find better new habits.
If you are working with a professional, definitely lisen to them.

Have you sought any medical treatment for mental illness?

Western society can fuck our brain so hard that sometimes we need medication to help fix it.

Meditation helps with disrupting habits, though. Keep that in mind.

>ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15819448

It sounds like you are on the right path then, your brain isn't damaged or anything like that. Find your project or thing, after than another will come, then two, and so on.

I've actually tried most psychiatric Meds prescribed for ADHD/Depression. Stimulants were the only ones to work, and are great, but becoming dependent on them has always been such a fear of mine, that I do not take them even when I feel bad.
I am very curious about Selegiline and how elevating my dopamine levels slightly but in a sustainable manner would compare to the habit causing, sudden burst of dopamine Stimulants release. It's a shame my doc won't prescribe it, I plan on buying it from India.

>It wasn't only that I had a continuous flow of ideas sparkling in my mind, but the mere thought of following the train was enjoyable by itself, almost euphoric. I remember getting goosebumps just coming up with songs and artwork in my head. Now it's all dead and silent, I only hear the sound of my tinnitus in my head. I hate it so much.
>>mfw this is me
OP, I just want you to know, I'm rooting for you. Whatever you do, always stay in shape, always eat healthy, always purify your water. If something catches your mental fancy, go hog on it. Practice visualizing things. Practice solving things. Practice drawing diagrams of things, and humming out random little tunes until one starts sounding catchy. You have to train your brain to start it back on the path it once went on. You have to teach it to play again, like when you were a kid. It'll be hard, I know. I can't do it, and I don't know if I ever will be able to, but for both of our sakes, I'm begging you to try.
1/2

>Wandering mind all day
>Jumping from idea to idea
Do this, too. Mentally LARP as a hyperactive kid by constantly acting like everything's far more interesting than you think it is, and soon, it really WILL be. That nonstop train of thought will become habitual. No drugs neccessary.
OP, I won't lie, you're not as creative as you were as a kid, because there are way too many things you've internalized as part of your worldview to start thinking outside the box all of a sudden. But the reason you could come up with so many good ideas in your childhood wasn't because all your ideas were creative, but because you never stopped thinking. The reason quantity has a quality all its own is because you can keep what has value and throw out what doesn't.
Lastly, talk to people, especially those who are creative, about things that interest you and things that you want to find interesting. Your brain is hard wired for social interation, and doing what I described will make you associate bursts of oxytocin with whatever topic you discuss. Use this auto-pavlovian training wisely, and well.
I apologize for the rant, but you have to understand what this means to me. I've already come to terms with my faliure, but I refuse to let you suffer the same fate without trying to help. I'm trying to live vicariously through you. For that, I apologize. But you must try your best, if only for your own sake.
2/2

Well have you tried Bupropion (aka Wellbutrin). It's a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor that could prove more effective than the usual SSRI pills.

Mine is more like a constant flow of thought. Not so much ideas but always music or scenarios from my life relationships or stuff about my stories. In recent months it's gotten more difficult to remember what people have told me even if they told me it to my face 15 seconds ago. I'm hoping it's not a mental illness because I don't want to have a crutch to excuse my behavior, I'm hoping it's just a tick I can maybe work on putting away.

It wont help you i highly doubt.

Thank you user, you have made me remember how it felt to be back there, and how much it matters for me to find a way back. I am currently learning how to draw and saving up money to buy a piano and pay for lessons, both hobbies where playing around with ideas is encouraged (alongside lots of hard work). It is difficult to stay on top of the game when it comes to exercise and diet, specially when I am lost in solitude, but I do try.

Social interaction requirements are difficult to meet, since I live in a very isolated area and currently do not own a vehicle, I am hoping to change this in the near future...
-

I hope you continue to try too, user. If what you feel if anything like I do, I know trying alongside the hopes of one day being there is one of the only things worth living for.

Yes, it worked great initially, but afterwards I began having issues with sort term memory and made my tinnitus so bad I had to stop because I couldn't sleep at all. I read it is a common side effect of the medication due to the anticholinergic effects it has.

Selegiline at lower doses seems like it would be the perfect medication for me, plus there's some evidence that this medication paired with L-Dopa and Cabergoline increases artistic motivation and creativity. It comes to no surprise to me, considering Dexamphetamine does just that do me. Life is so great when you have a passion for something, shreds nihilism and depersonalization to pieces.

>psychcentral.com/news/2013/01/15/drugs-for-parkinsons-unleash-creativity-in-some-patients/50393.html
>readbyqxmd.com/read/23316709/the-awakening-of-artistic-creativity-and-parkinson-s-disease
>theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/07/creativity-and-dopamine-pills/374599/?google_editors_picks=true

Friend, I wouldn't be quick to recommend medication without medical supervision. But perhaps it could be worth giving Selegiline a try in the future to see how it affects you? I certainly plan on doing so. I think the literature out there is promising.

I can relate to that, I also constantly wondered about possible future situations or thinks that happened in the past, and how I could have reacted or could react differently. So much so indeed, that sometimes I would predict what people were going to say, or even become unable to know whether people have actually told me something, or I had merely imagined it. I remember having a very hard time stopping myself from day dreaming, even after intently trying.

This all went with my weird mix of depression and meditation. Now I find it hard to not find myself staring back at me from my own mind, as if I were an outside observant watching my every move.

OP here

Oh, I almost forgot about something that was truly important to me back then and I somehow lost along the way. I used to have these insane vivid and rich dreams that would go on and on, many of them lucid. I still remember many of them today, I doubt I could go back to having such incredible dreams, but I would love to understand what the hell made me have them, I used to suffer from sleep paralysis a lot back the too.

simple question: do you ever go to walk just for the sake of walking around?

>mfw OP trying to revert his ADHD treatment
You should honestly just try some psychodelycs to fix that, OP.

Did you ever get diagnosed with anything? Do I have an issue or is it just an inattentive character flaw?

you're just getting older you dumb fuck

Ha! I literally did the exact same thing. I trained my mind to become perfectly still. Afterwards, I realized that I truncated my reason and creativity. So I reversed the program I had implemented.
So no, OP, your mind isn't damaged; you have just trained it to do something very specific. But now that you know just how trainable your mind really is, why don't you retrain it to be creative again, but this time in a way that you prefer?

Yes, a lot.
I tried Marijuana once and I had a really bad trip, I am spooked of trying anything else now.

I have a diagnosis for ADHD and Dysthimia

Does five years really make such a difference? I am only 21

>So I reversed the program I had implemented.

How did you go about doing that?

You have to redefine what you consider to be valuable information. The only reason your mind goes blank is because you have repeatedly insisted that going blank is a valuable state of mind. However, if you decide that logic and creativity are more valuable than going blank, your mind will reprogram itself to bring into your awareness those things that you have deemed to be valuable.
Now, incase you think my advice is retarded, consider this: has something ever inexplicably caught your attention out of the corner of your eye and forced you to look at it? Like a snake in the grass perhaps? Or perhaps an attractive woman? The reason is because the brain is already processing information before you are consciously aware of it. This is integral to how intelligence actually works btw. But the only reason it's modifying your attending is because the resulting information is either valuable due to instinctual programming or self-imposed programming. Either way, the brain is a powerful search engine, which is why it was able to bring creativity to your awareness before you reprogrammed it.
Now, all you have to do is redecide what you consider to be valuable and then you have to seek it out. That is, you have to think while having an objective.

Finally, I highly, highly recommend you read Psycho-Cybernetics. Can't stress this enough.

>The only reason your mind goes blank is because you have repeatedly insisted that going blank is a valuable state of mind.

For goodness sake, don't make radical claims without some evidence.
Are you sure that mind going blank cant be due to a computational blip in the brain?

> bring creativity to your awareness before you reprogrammed it.

This sentence is incredibly unclear.

OP was on to discovering the Four Noble Truths by himself. I envy you

Fuck what meditation did you practice?
I have schizoid PD and those qualities you impare my ability to do basic human functions. I'd like to find a healthy balance as those processes make me a very creative person and im very good with reasoning, I just can't materialize any of my thoughts because I'm so caught up in my internal experience.

If you want to know how to solve your problems, you should heavily abuse marijuana while taking amphetamines every day. Also regularly consume heavy doses of psychedelics. It's very important to be learning while doing this.
Just fantasize.
This advice will give you a schizm if you aren't careful.

No you are just getting too old lul

Mindful meditation where I would sit comfortably and then focus on an imaginary point in my mind, or my body sensations until I felt like I staring at myself from the inside. I also meditated a lot in the darkness to music, listening closely and trying to create visuals out of the notes, those would go on for hours because time would go by so quickly...

>If you want to know how to solve your problems, you should heavily abuse marijuana while taking amphetamines every day. Also regularly consume heavy doses of psychedelics. It's very important to be learning while doing this.
Just fantasize.
>This advice will give you a schizm if you aren't careful.

No point in having a mind full of sparkling ideas and insane creativity if you cannot focus your mind into action either, I am trying to find a happy balance. How do you get by in life being schizoid? How is it being you? Are you able to be productive with meds?
I have a lot of distrust towards buddism and this idea that letting go of your wants is a good thing, that one should learn to just be content with the moment. It seems so conflicting with the idea of being productive and following your dreams, how do you make progress if you don't care about anything? I get it is a good tool to lose bad habits or thoughts that bring more stress than anything else, but to seek to completely destroy your ego seems like a thing people should be spooked off.

>highly recommend you read Psycho-Cybernetics

Interesting, I'll have a look and note it down.

>For goodness sake, don't make radical claims without some evidence.
Santa is real.
>Are you sure that mind going blank cant be due to a computational blip in the brain?
Considering I suffered from the same condition which I too had induced via mediation, which I then reversed on my own, I'd say probably not. If his condition is anything like mine, then he is not experiencing momentary blips of non-cognition, but rather long extended periods of absent thought, i.e. blankness. He has shut off his inner monologue completely, and therefore he is mute unto himself, within himself.

Anyway, I suffered through this condition for about two years and the reason this occurred, I think, is because I considered meditation to be more valuable than logic and/or reason with regards to grasping ultimate truth. So, I tuned out logic and reason and tuned into a meditative state that lasted for two years. It wasn't until I decided logic and reason were valuable again that my mind began to reverse the blanking effect I had induced earlier.

I remember it got so bad that I couldn't even hold a conversation; I seriously thought I had damaged my mind, but no. Apparently, the mind is a fucking cybernetic servo-mechanism. It is a success-machine, whose function is to feed the ego-mind information pertinent to its ability to act with a semblance of intelligence. So, what I reality did to myself was program my mind with instructions to feed me stillness or blankness. And it did as it was instructed... for two years. But, after having figured out the cybernetic nature of the mind, I was able to reprogram it and reverse the effect of blankness.

>This sentence is incredibly unclear.
[Talking to OP] Either way, the brain is a powerful search engine, which is why it would always bring creativity to your awareness in the form of entertaining ideas prior to you reprogramming it to go blank. That is, OP used to have a creative mind until he inadvertently fucked it up.

Op here, this is some awesome stuff user. I am definitely reading psycho-cybernetics. I figure the key now must be to purposely try to keep my mind as busy as possible with jumping thoughts, ideas and concepts?

Yes, roughly speaking. The key will be knowing how your mind works, and knowing that what you know is integral to how your mind operates.

(This can be logically demonstrated in the following idea: Information (knowledge) exists within the mind's operations and ONLY in the mind's operations; that is, it does NOT exist in any specific location in your brain. Therefore, because information is stored in and depends on these operations, modifying information (or knowledge) logically results in the modification of the operation hosting said information. And because mental operations also account for human behavior, changing what you know directly results in changing how you act.)

So yes, it will be important redefine yourself in such a way as to facilitate the action or mental content you deem preferable. And, this begins by actively seeking out said actions and valuing said mental content.

Weird. It's the opposite for me. I always had dark depressing angry thoughts and meditation helps me relax really well

>Time flies
>no more stressing over little things
>more content with life in general
>more happy

For me, meditation causes me to get even more disconnected from everything around me. Once I reach the point where my sensual input is all there is in my mind, the magical feeling of life goes away and all I feel like is just bundle of electric currents flowing in predictable patterns.
The same thing happens when I'm at parties, having drunk a little, and haven't had a meaningful conversation for some time.

Yes, this happens to me too. Meditation will you give a disassociative state if you do it often and long. It's not something I enjoy at all unless I want to relax to some music, but I rather be full of energy and eager to move.

>So yes, it will be important redefine yourself in such a way as to facilitate the action or mental content you deem preferable. And, this begins by actively seeking out said actions and valuing said mental content.

No wonder moving out of your comfort zone is a must when learning new and difficult skills with tiered subjects.

nsi-189

I have done my research on it, but I have not tried it because I do know a trust able source and it also seems pretty expensive.

Do you have first hand experience with the substance? What are your thoughts on it?

Guys are meditating wrong. Doing it right has made me feel more connected to my thoughts, emotions, and feelings than ever before.

Its easy to practice meditation as distancing oneself rather than nonjudgmentally immersing oneself, but its an absolutely critical distinction in proper practice.

I would also like to know how to get my mind back. Though my decline started when I focused more on school work and now I can't even think for myself anymore.
What happened?

Drink caffeine for the brain (blocks neurotransmitters that age your brain, serious, look it up). Will make it easier to learn new things, but harder to remember and retain them for years to come so use at your own risk.

Take ZMA. Being deficient in Zinc crashes testosterone and ZMA greatly increases dream quality.

I know for sure these 2 things will help you, but you probably need other stuff too. Vitamin D, Omega 3 are God. And of course I'm not discounting the more exotic stuff other people are talking about.

Italian sub with loads of veggies, mixed fruit bowel, and a vitamin water, the meal of health.

Don't do it. I am in the same boat as op. Life has no meaning. I can focus but I don't want to focus because nothing interests me. I am finally doing what I always dreamed of but I can't be bothered anymore and it's all crashing down.

> bad trip
> weed

Sort yourself out, man. Either you have zero mental stability or you have so much anxiety and fear just below the surface that it's overwhelming the fuck out of you the moment you use anything that drops your filter.

get that shit sorted out. Not coming into it from a "dude bro just use more psychs XD" perspective, but having used them for years and having seen what they bring up, if weed gives you a bad trip, then you have a lot of mental work to do for yourself.

I find that a lot of the distrust towards buddhism that people typically hold is a product of both a misunderstanding of the nature of letting go of such things, and that the monastery-style, most-intense form of buddhism (which is also unfortunately the simplest to describe) is also advertised the most.

You can look at lay-buddhism this way. Say you're a sailor. If you're inexperienced, even small waves may throw or topple your boat. But if you become very experienced, you can navigate even intense storms with calm and ease.

The ocean, storm, and waves are the mental perturbations you experience - anger, grief, sadness, regret. But a huge aspect of lay-buddhism is learning to experience those emotions, but to let them 'pass through you' naturally, without holding onto them, attached to experiencing them, or holding onto them. You still feel everything, but the goal is to learn not to suffer because you experience them.

Part of the problem is that the language and concepts surrounding emotions is very different between buddhist culture and western culture, and it can make translation difficult at times.

I don't like the feeling of disassociation psychedelics give me, I feel like nothing is real and I am disconnected from my body. All sense of familiarity with the real world goes away, including other people. They begin to look like nothing but mere bags of meat walking around and I fucking hate it. Just the thought of being alive looking at myself from my own mind, makes me claustrophobic and ridden with pure despair.
I don't see the benefit of smoking weed at all, and it is likely I will not smoke it ever gain.

meditation induces permanent irreversible brain damage due to hypoxia to certain parts of it. ur fucked m8.

Awesome

Drink less caffeine. Not even joking, shit kills creativity.

I do not really take much coffee, desu.
-

There's one thing that also seems to bring back my creativity and euphoria, and that's sleep deprivation. For some reason, I get this massive mood and cognitive boost from 12 pm to 8 am and just feels magical. Like a short episode of mania.
Obviously, not a very healthy thing to do but really addictive...

OP here again.

I have my eyes set on a couple of compounds I would like to experiment with. What do you guys think of combining

>///MK677/// (Makes the body release growth hormone to it's maximum potential)
>///Selegiline/// (Increases dopamine in the brain up to 50% and it is commonly prescribed as an anti-aging compound).
>///NSI-189/// (A research chemical shown to increase the hippocampus size in rat's brains via neurogenesis, could possibly restore a shrink hippocampus due to long term stress/depression).
Seems like a great combo for longevity, health and productivity, specially if coupled with exercise and a healthy diet. How retarded is it? Has anyone ever tried combining all of that?

Deep breathing could cause this (www.normalbreathing.com). Meditation is focusing attention on an object, such as the breath. If someone tells you that meditation is deep breathing, they're a charlatan.

I'm interested in this, I've recently begun researching what all the shit (((psychiatrists))) gave me actually did and realizing I had and have classic symptoms of the kinds of neurological damage they cause.

I am definitely giving it ago, just need to find the good sources for MK677 and NSI 189. Selegiline should be easily bought from any online Indian pharmacy.

do vajrayana buddhism, they meditate with figments of the imagination, meditate on emotions like anger, lust and joy and do all kind of crazy rituals, if meditation give you such a contemplative mind, maybe vajrayana is a good way to find that creativity again

>kid grows out of being a day dreaming teenager
>better take drugs
lmao

To stay creative, you must stay child like.

Can too much dopamine really cause sveere issues

Are you asking a question?

OP could you expand more on the type of mediation you used to fix your wandering mind issues. Did you use any specific recordings, what was the frequency and lenght of your sessions ?
Also how long did it take for you to see noticeable changes ?

I have similar issues concerning very vivid daydreaming

In the beginning I used mindful meditation, as thought by Sam Harris in one of his youtube videos. Short 15 minutes sessions, trying my best to keep up.

After a couple of months, I began to meditate to music in complete darkness (instead of focusing intently on my breathing or sensations, I would instead focus heavily on the music and try to visualize moving shapes & colors to go in tandem with it). Those would last for anywhere from half an hour to six hours. Probably did it for a whole full year. The change must have happened somewhere along that, as I began to feel very disassociated from reality and even the music I listened to intently in my meditation sessions stopped being meaningful to me.

I would meditate at least 3 days a week, and the music was whatever I enjoyed listening to. (Lots of Glitch Mob)

Interesting.
Have you noticed also any benefits in studying or learning about a subject, ommitting the lack of enjoyment you derive from stuff atm ?

yes?

Well, it's easier to pay attention and visualize things in my mind so I guess whatever potential for learning that was being hindered by my lack of attention control, is free to express itself now.

Drive has gone down, and I think that's equally as important as attention, if not more.

Also, another disadvantage I have noticed is that distinguishing from real life memories vs dreamed memories can be harder sometimes, on top of experiencing frequent Deja Vu's. I read is a common thing with people that meditate a lot.

Lucky me, I love drifting.

I feel the same way except i havent felt "normal" for as long as i can remember.
Every day seems to go by with no significance and i feel like I'm just sleepwalking through life. It's almost as if i can't make any new memories; everything feels foggy both in waking life and the past.
I know i have such good pontential for somehow still performing well in my studies while this is all going on, but honestly, i dont really give a fuck, i just want this fucking shit to end so i can get my life back. I've felt anxious, depressed, and disconnected from reality for god knows how long now...if this keeps up I'm either going to try self-medicating with CBD or I'm going to kill myself.
I dont know if anyone will even read this wall of text and im not even sure if this is the right board to be posting in, but please, if anyone in here has had an experience like this, just help me out. I'll take any advice, even if it's just a lame "kys faggot." At least i'll know that someone has read my vent

Has CBD worked for you? Why do you mention it?

I haven't read up too much on it, but i would love to have its affects on mood and anxiety without the "high" feeling of THC. I understand its not as simple and clear-cut as this but I'm just about ready to try anything to help. I would even consider microdosing with LSD/psilocybin. It's probably not the smartest idea but im rapidly running out of my last few fucks to give

Have you had your testosterone levels checked? I know a Youtube by the name of Bignoknow that suffered from depersonalization/depression and anxiety, and starting testosterone injections helped him out.

Reminiscing and obsessing negatively like this is way more detrimental to your mental ability than whatever cognitive impairment you think you have acquired.

If you dont figure this out or think it's bs you are young, naive or sheltered.

Honestly that could be part of it, I've always been an underweight late bloomer and never really had interest in women (or men, for that matter) until i was 15 or so. I think i'll look into it, cause that seems like it could explain a lot. Fuck DP/DR as well, i forgot to mention that in my first post but you seemed to understand what i was getting at. Thanks so much for reading my stupid pity party shit though, it really means a lot to me right now, especially since i feel like i cant talk to my own parents about this shit. I know this isnt 100% the right diagnosis, but even it it isn't, i still feel like i should thank you from the bottom of my heart - just knowing that someone read my poorly written sobstory and cared enough to try and help means a lot to me. Thanks

Believe me, i know that, but it's a hell of a lot more complicated than someone saying "snap out of it, you fucking pussy" and magically being fine.
I've tried so hard to get out of my head for so long but i guess im not trying hard enough. I know it's coming off as a "feel bad for me so i can get attention" post but i didnt intend for that. I genuinely wanted advice.
Im not trying to say youre being a dick or anything. In fact, youre completely right...but trust me, it is as bad as it sounds and i just wanted to vent a little bit since no one seems to take action and help me through this.
There i go again with that negative train of thought...fuck me.
Thanks for the advice anyway, i'll remember what you said whenever i get on these rants about how shit this all is. Someone out there has it much worse than i do, after all

No problem, user. I hope you find a solution to your issues, depersonalization and anxiety is no fun.

>Believe me, i know that, but it's a hell of a lot more complicated than someone saying "snap out of it, you fucking pussy"
Wrong
>(wont be) magically being fine. (after above)
right
>I've tried so hard to get out of my head for so long but i guess im not trying hard enough.
right
>I know it's coming off as a "feel bad for me so i can get attention"
right
>post but i didnt intend for that.
wrong
>I genuinely wanted advice.
here it is
>Im not trying to say youre being a dick or anything.
i dont care, and neither should you in threads like this
>it is as bad as it sounds and i just wanted to vent a little bit since no one seems to take action and help me through this.
>There i go again with that negative train of thought...
right
>fuck me
wrong
>Thanks for the advice anyway, i'll remember what you said whenever i get on these rants about how shit this all is.
no you wont
>Someone out there has it much worse than i do.
Fact

Wrong

Try drugs, not even memeing. Throughout teens I did nothing but experiment with stimulants (adderall, Ritalin) and psychedelics (LSD, DMT, shrooms) and during class all my mind did was wander.

OP here, I have ordered Selegiline from an online pharmacy and will be giving it a trial.