>13 years of my brain's most plastic years wasted on glorified daycare (public schools)
>parents never encouraged me to do anything either, just sparked any interest for STEM and studying in general at 20 years of age
As I need to wageslave, I've only ~ 5 hours a day to study plus the whole weekend.Am I recoverable. Veeky Forums?
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If you need to ask, then no
Yes.
Now get to studying.
At any age really.
What you need to figure out is whether this is how you want to spend your time.
yes, you will be in disadvantage with people who didn't waste all those years, but with some hard work you can get in the stem field
Well done, you have successfully found something that you cannot change to blame for your current situation.
Next logical step is to look upon achievements of others and find reasons you should benefit from them and how they didn't deserve them.
>Am I recoverable. Veeky Forums?
Yes.
You forgot the part where I ask if it's possible to change
Flip a coin. There's no way for me to determine your ability from a few lines of text. You're asking the wrong question regardless, since it doesn't matter whether you think you can or cannot undo the perceived loss suffered. In the end you have only your will to succeed. What you should be asking is how badly do you want to achieve your goals?
I mean engineers can get competent at math at engineer level. Sure you can do it. I suggest russian books, but you need someone who can translate them. Soviet books get you ready for uni in about a year in a very rigorous manner. Actually, considering burgers learn calc in uni, you can get ready for uni in half the time. Read anything you can get your hands on from Kolmogorov, Landau, Luzin, Levin, Dobrushkin, Lyapunov, Novikov. Basically anyone that had written texts targeted at soviet talented highschoolers. The books are tough for the level they're aimed at, we learned basics of topology and algebra (especially homological) during highschool, but they are very very good at encouraging curiosity. Also, even though the explanations are mostly relying on intuition, rigorous proofs are given either as excercises, or as addendum in the book (where students are not expected to prove it themselves).
Failing that, you can try old french or german textbooks. If you're struggling to get these or for some reason aren't good candidate for learning by exposition, go with the usual american books, they're easy by comparison and hold your hand very much.