Write what's on your mind

If you've read enough, and were honest with yourself you would come to the same conclusion.

Fuck this board is slow.
Fuck this board.
Fuck.

Same. By the way, this is the first and last post I will ever make on the internet. Farewell.

>2017
>having depression

the big ol' bubble round ass on this arabic girl who's begging me to tongue her asshole, no joke

If this is going to be a prolonged thread then I'd have interest in posting within it

Because I want myself to be known by strangers on anonymous image boards

I have no idea what that compulsion is, ask God

What is on my mind...

I am listening to the MC5

they were proto-punk
They invented punk, fuck the sex pistols

What is punk?
Punk was a total dissolution of established protocols in a violent and orgiastic fashion

I think that most people aspire to something like this even if their approach seems more 'cooled', more intellectual, more researched, more defined, refined, ...

We want novelty

Novelty.

Each and every human being a source of novelty but

only if they access what they are as an individual and overcome the programming they were instilled with

we can all create that perfect novel of our dreams once we strive no longer to impress anyone but ourselves

no competition

the possibilities of the imagination within ourselves are adequate enough to create whole galaxies of novelty

whole

galaxies

of novelty

...

Freedom is the ability to be what you're not. Anything less is living death.

I'm a big guy.
I'm a big guy.
I'm a big guy.
I'm a big guy.
I'm a big guy.
I'm a big guy.

This.

Moreover reading fucked me up in ways unfathomable, drowned me beneath all those dyschronical voices of men, however (seethingly) beautiful they are. Sterne occupied a room behind my ribs, and so did Mishima; and so they are always quarrelling and jolting over my yearnings and it's just too many voices these days.

Do it faggot.

plastic penis electric dildo

sorry but lack of philosophical training is nothing to be proud of and it doesnt have to be your destiny. restart with the Greeks but this time read analytically and take notes.

>"2 smart 2 act regular"
>being this much of a pseud

Literature and philosophy has been wonderful to me.
Maybe you just read a bunch of shit

i have a primal desire to put my hand around the neck of a korean bitch while i fuck the ghost out of her and have her flop like a koi fish out of a pond while screeching like a banshee during climax

sometimes i wonder why the best two candidates we could come up with in the final election came down to a pathological lying cunt using backdoor agencies to kill people off and a man who subtly tells you he has no idea what the fuck he is doing

i am chronically depressed by all these politically correct systems set in place to improve life that ironically make daily events more stressful than they already are

i wonder why i browse Veeky Forums but occasionally i find something that piques my interest that is out of the norm of hyper pedantic autism and social pop culture perversion and is actually provoking of thought in itself

i wonder why this board ironically reveres infinite jest while falling victim to it's thesis

i'm conflicted if my ego is inflated, i'm full of myself, or i am genuinely vexed that as a 23 year old with a 9th grade education, i can probably produce more grasping and endearing pieces of realistic fiction than some new-age hipster kid from a liberal arts college that wasted their life obtaining a degree in creative writing or english

sometimes i put on a texas accent on a bus in public and act folksy like to put on a show for people that look like they want to kill themselves before they go to work in hopes they dont

I'm a senior in high school and have been dating my girlfriend for 3.5 years. Just found out that she has never wanted a boyfriend in college, she has always planned to break up before we left. Even if we go to the same school, which is actually very likely at this point, she just doesn't want to start college with a boyfriend. This is not how love is supposed to be Veeky Forums. The entire time I have been temporary. I'm not sad that we're going to break up, I just feel embarrassed and a little betrayed. I don't know. I'm too young to decide if this is normal or not.

I'm bored, shitposting and rolling for dubs while I wait for my porn to load.

You're still really young. you've been with this girl since you were about 15 and it sounds like she wasn't overly mature any way
>Just found out that she has never wanted a boyfriend in college
College will be good for you. you've had a gf for the past 3 years so you're obviously not an autist like most of the people on this site.
You'll find some one in college that you'll actually be able to have an adult relationship with.
>I don't know. I'm too young to decide if this is normal or not.
It is. most teenagers are dickheads.
>I'm not sad that we're going to break up, I just feel embarrassed and a little betrayed.
this is understandable.

cheer up lad. you've got some of the better years of your life ahead of you.

The "cock carousel" isn't just a r9k meme.

thanks for the kind words. I really do like her so I don't want to think it but you could be right for all I know.
yes it is

Have you ever been to a campus m8? Why do you think a girl wouldn't want to be chained with a bf around frat bros and muscular studs that roam in the campus? I'm not even judging here, college is casual sex central and you know it.

I can guarantee you will meet better girls than her at college. If you're normie enough to hold a girl for three years you're normie enough to not sperg out and fall for the first woman you meet. Your high school friends are all jackasses, and after you've made some friends at college you'll recognize the difference in quality.
It probably will continue to be embarrassing for a little bit, but trust me when I say you almost certainly do not want to be attached to anyone from high school. It's limiting and pulls all the baggage of when you were at your most dickish into your life.

Yes. Hurts to have a girl you love say she has to leave you because she would rather fuck a bunch of other dudes. 3 years is a long time for any relationship.

This

She did you a favour.

tfw she stopped responding on okcupid after exchanging 250 messages with me

Yeah I get that. I'd rather not be in a relationship with an expiration date though. Maybe I'm biased because my parents started dating in high school and have one of the best relationships I've ever seen and still had a ton of fun in college. They were even long distance for two years. If my girlfriend wasn't willing to work a little for our relationship maybe she should have told me when we hit a year together or something. I'm talking first kiss and virginity here.

If that is so then you dodged a bullet, you don't any girl that is 'settling down' for you but that would rather get double teamed by Brad and Chad.

you're gonna end up breaking up anyway so you might as well dump her for being a cunt

Lol. I knew coming to Veeky Forums for girl advice would end up like this. Thanks though

Easy bud. At least she was honest

It's the harsh truth you won't find elsewhere. Women are lustful too.

so what she'll end up liking you more if you dump her make her cry for a few days and she'll come running back to you

You can be lustful and monogamous yikes. I know I am I'm a fucking 18 year old boy

After so many messages you should have dated her irl already.

Blame feminism.

great idea

That sucks, bro. Have you considered breaking up with her now? Sounds like you're in the relationship for the love and emotional attachment, and she's obviously not. A few months single might help you clear your mind.
It's good to hear about your parents, and sometimes that does happen. But it sounds like your gf isn't interested in the same level of commitment, which, while shitty, isn't totally unprecedented for teenagers. She's immature and maybe fifteen years from now she'll regret having made up some arbitrary rule about not having a boyfriend in college. Or maybe she'll stay ignorant and bitter her whole life. Either way you don't want to stick around until she magically wises up. Life isn't a romcom like that. You need to be able to move past her. She's doing you a favor by showing you how childish she is. I know it sucks right now, but trust me, it's for the best.

humans are merely the reproductive organs of machines; once they learn to reproduce themselves, it will render humanity obsolete. the flesh of the new generation will be devoured by metallic maws and all the hopes of eternal life crushed by iron and silicon

it's only been three days

i think i went too lit on her

Thanks. She's saying she's changed her mind and that she had never really thought about it as in-depth as i made her last night. Either way i feel like I just convinced her not to break up with me, which hardly fixes any underlying issues there may be. Sucks

whenever my gf is a bitch i cheat on her try that

another great plan. keep them coming guys

i'm serious dude when my gf found a weird hair scrunchy on the floorboard of my truck that wasn't hers she sucked it better than she's ever sucked it before

ill give it a try..

tfw her little circle just turned green she's online

i remember this feel from when I was like 10 years old. No hate we just used gchat a lot back then. Same dude from above, still in this thread if anyone wants to chat still

I can't pretend to know the whole situation, but I'd still feel uneasy if I were you. This is a huge red flag regardless of what she says now - if she really spent the last three years planning on breaking up with you while misleading you into thinking you had something permanent going, you can hardly start blindly trusting her again. It's ultimately up to you if you want to stay with her or not, use your best judgment. Just be sure to weigh the risks of her dropping you halfway through first semester. Ask yourself how much she actually cares about you.
One more thing, since you seem to be a very future-oriented guy: have you thought about what it would be like to be married to this girl? Have you thought about what you guys would look like ten years from now, or twenty? And has she? Have you considered what it would be like to be with her for the rest of your life, like your parents? Looking ahead to the future often helps to put these kinds of relationships in perspective.

>I knew coming to Veeky Forums for girl advice would end up like this
Yea, honestly what did you expect.

Keep in mind that none of us actually know you and you shouldn't take any of our advice, positive or negative, seriously

Good post

lol any girl that would consider breaking up with a guy because she's starting college is obviously a hedonist slut
she's just treating you as something that gives her pleasure but when something better comes along she's gonna dump you? ha ha ha
fuck that

I feel like I spend too much time here

this

It sounds to me like she's a bitch, and that moreover, deep down you know that she's a bitch and you're trying to convince yourself of that fact. Otherwise you wouldn't have come to Veeky Forums of all places to seek external validation. You don't want to be with this girl. You know it, we know it, and you want us to convince you that you know it.

I'm a big boy. I just like you guys. I'm gonna make my own decision.
I'd say I've thought about the future with her while remaining realistic. We've even talked about it some- normal couple stuff. She's saying that her older sister (kind of a slut lol) had told her she wouldn't want a boyfriend in college and she just listened. I definitely know her as someone who would kind of just blindly follow her advice. She told me that it was the plan but when she thinks about actually pulling the trigger and breaking up with me she finds it really scary. I feel like I believe her. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm not gonna throw this all away just yet.

stay with her but get a backup side girl

She's not a bitch. I know her very well. I'm on Veeky Forums because I like this website and I'm not going to take your advice unless I feel like it's the right thing to do

sure thing

>Leaving your cock at the mercy of a girl's teeth in a situation like that

For what purpose?

>not having depression

>thinks a woman would bite your dick off over a hair scrunchy

Back to the couch, Schopenhauer

I want a purpose

Is not depression is manic depression
But I think that it is totally logical to be depressed in these times tbqf

...

i chuckled, good reference.

I'd really like to make a genuine human connection with someone, somehow. I don't even know what that would be, really. I'm confused. Also I feel stupid in many ways, like I should have done something with my life already, acquired a good grasp of some area of knowledge, learned a skill, etc.

Also, it feels like I'm in a transitory period with everything, but that's just an illusion. I think I'll make a change for the better in the future, that the "current me" isn't the "real me", that life won't always be this shitty, that maybe I'll finally take my life into my own hands and then begin really living, that I'll stop wasting time on trivial shit and then regret losing time. I don't think those will change, but they feel transient.

...

I was thinking: why do people pretend that there is a correct choice in politics? Politics is not about truth or ethics, its the study of how to obtain and keep power. So all these accusations of fake news and lying going on, of course they are. Politics isn't philosophy, its not about doing what's best for anyone.

The zeitverschwendung seems to me to be a product of your reverent dread of sacred human connection. You want to do this, but tell yourself you can't do it, so you don't do anything but pussyfoot around what you really want to do by -- wasting time. Then you experience regret, or shame, which is your emotional instinct telling you that you're living a contradiction.

Take a walk without fearing or raging, for fuck's sake

John is both a babbling fool and a genius. I love him.

Kinda pathetic how I'm 22 and still when I watch a film like Dazed and Confused all my old insecurities charge up and my phoney self-assuring reasonings vanish. I guess this is a more honest state of being.

Maybe I'm being too despairing.

>tfw job I hate

It's bad bros. Hard to get out of bed in the morning

That someone actually developed a show with the premise "What if Jack the Ripper had a time machine?" makes me think I could shit on a page, mail it to ABC, and in 6 months see ads for a show about a black man attempting to cope with the ever-present burden of white societal demands. And collect royalties in the meantime.

What do you do?

finance

Good pay?

wrote a brutally honest 6k word rant on why my life is shit, now it's just notepad file haunting my computer

I want to delete it and forget, but its all true

Time to transfer to murders and executions

Post it?

learn from it you dingus

post it here and learn something from it. I once got very drunk and wrote myself a hate letter in my diary/journal/notebook thing. I can laugh about it now because it is so juvenile but it revealed some self loathing to me and I think I made a good effort to be more positive

I could drop a pastebin but i feel like i'd have to draft it again since it was never meant for reading

Just cut out anything that might compromise your privacy/identity. As long as it makes sense just post it. Trust me, no one is expecting much in regard to writing quality.

post it in its raw form.

Maybe it will give some chuckles/insight (the same emotion in the Native American religious conception) to the rest of us?

decided against posting it for a cavalcade of reasons, sorry to waste your time

Is anyone else here an embarrassing dreamer with ridiculous fantasies? It's at the point for me where I sustain myself on these dreams until reality arrives and sends me crashing down. Eventually I amble onto some kind of stability and resolve to tend to my mind as if it were a garden and my thoughts were its flowers. Often I fail. Occasionally I succeed and meaning and purpose pour into my life and nurse my volatile self esteem back to health, primed once more to runaway and do harm at the first hint of complacency.

I've observed this pattern of behaviour since I was a young teen and probably even before from when it didn't matter. All these years I've been able to do nothing about it. It is the only constant in my life. I've been thinking about finally going to see someone about it but I'm pretty embarrassed and I think rightfully so. What a fucking embarrassment.

No biggie man. Just do your self a favour and be honest enough with yourself to try learn from it.

fuck it

pastebin.com/raw/BAtFXzhG

Shit nigga. That's some -- shit.

You've obviously done a lot of thinking though. Why not put it to some use? Stop taking yourself so seriously, if your life is so comically bad, and write a comic novel about the fucked up experiences you've had (J.K. Toole style, if you want a concrete reference). I'd read the fuck out of that.

Man, that was pretty uncompromising.

Out of interest, tell me something you like about yourself.

I'm amazing at video games

I plan on writing, but I need to read a lot more and work on not being so long winded

Eh, you don't have to read everything. Stephen King has to read two hours a day to write well because he's a goddamn mongoloid, if you can digest the same amount of information in twenty minutes there's no reason you can't spend the remainder of the time writing, or more, if you want.

Thank god for the rain which has helped wash away the garbage and the trash off the sidewalks