"Sorry, what's your name again? Oh ok, and you're a published author, right? Only...

>"Sorry, what's your name again? Oh ok, and you're a published author, right? Only, this party is kinda only for writers who have actually published a book already"

What do you do in this situation Veeky Forums?

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amazon.ca/There-Sun-Here-Eric-VanderHelm-ebook/dp/B00AYIBPJI
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i wrote in hypersphere and totalitarianism in a sauna

"I don't want to go to some lame YA party. Later on, squares."

i show them my published book obviously

amazon.ca/There-Sun-Here-Eric-VanderHelm-ebook/dp/B00AYIBPJI

This you?

yep

I'll author a real mean post about you on facebook, unless you apologize right now.

'Technically I still write things. Being published is irrelevant.'

Because they're shitty YA authors they'll have trouble deconstructing my obtuse argument and I'll just walk past them.

inb4 alfafa as fug etc

Holy......I want more.....

They're not YA authors, stupid.

The girl in the middle, Sally Rooney, just turned 25 and sold her debut novel ("Conversations With Friends") for a six-figure sum.

Summary:

>"Frances is a cool-headed and darkly observant young woman, vaguely pursuing a career in writing while studying in Dublin. Her best friend and comrade-in-arms is the beautiful and endlessly self-possessed Bobbi. At a local poetry performance one night, Frances and Bobbi catch the eye of Melissa, a well-known photographer, and as the girls are then gradually drawn into Melissa’s world, Frances is reluctantly impressed by the older woman’s sophisticated home and tall, handsome husband, Nick. However amusing and ironic Frances and Nick’s flirtation seems at first, it gives way to a strange intimacy, and Frances’s friendship with Bobbi begins to fracture. As Frances tries to keep her life in check, her relationships increasingly resist her control: with Nick, with her difficult and unhappy father, and finally, terribly, with Bobbi. "

I know the guy on the left. He most certainly hasn't published anything. Otherwise I'd never hear the end of it.

No, you don't.

Micheal Barton. Studied History and politics in Trinity, Dublin. We used to compete against one another in short story competitions.

Does a regular column in a weekly local newspaper count?

Looks like he won.

Were you that lad who tried out for debate team and got laughed out of the room?

By what metric? Being in a picture beside a published author? I guess he's got me there.

I spit in their faces

He's a part of the in-crowd, loser. If he wants his work published he can just ring up Ms Rooney or another of his literary friends and say "Hey, I have a novel that I want to publish. How can you help?" and within days the eyes of a seasoned editor will be reading the contents of his imagination with astonishment and delight. Meanwhile, you are sitting in your room on your laptop, in total silence, with no lights on, in your boxer shorts no doubt, refreshing a page on notorious the racist forum and general loserfest of 4 Chan. Where's your book contract? Where's your photograph in the paper? Who the fuck even are you?

Sounds like you're projecting, buddy.

Sasha Grey made good money rimmimg some gross dudes, your point is...?

My name is Jon, and this is my glock 17. Prepare to die.

Posting a pic of yourself with a YA author and pretending you're published has to be in the top ten of pathetic shit I've seen on Veeky Forums, somewhere between the guy that listened to a single Linkin Park song 60 thousand times and the guy that paid 150 dollars to get raped by a tranny.

well he'll be dead one day so it doesn't really matter, we'll be even then

Ummm, but what if you ARE published? Ever consider that lad?

Not really. His essential spirit will continue to exist via wikipedia and the internet in general, while your essential spirit will be instantly extinguished, never to be considered ever again outside of your ma's thoughts.

This post made my day. What a sad man must you be to write all that shit. He's not published but he could use influences instead of talent to get published, wow. We're all jelly as fuck, please stop being such a winner, I couldn't handle it.

That doesn't make her a good writer. The "main character is a writer" Trope has already been done to death and barely ever done well.

I show them the reams of poorly constructed, unedited erotica I've self published and proclaim myself the "James Joyce of Evangelion-Werewolf-Vore".

Nothing much going on for you today, then.

>$50k is a lot
God damn it feels good being middle class.

You're right.

Veeky Forums truly is the most fulfilling life.

Is it better to have published a terrible piece of YA trash or to have published nothing at all?

>t.

>Oh ok, and you're a published author, right?
I am

what about the "main character is a depressed neet loser" trope?
tell me quick before I hit submit on this draft

Just do it. Worst thing they can do is say no.

Reminder that women want to be fucked by male writers who write about women, in good or bad.

>Worst thing they can do is say no.
And add you to their shit-list, so they can ignore any future submissions.

That's what pseudonyms are for.

Could work, as long as you change your address too.

This is the age of shared data. It wouldn't surprise me if publishers kept a centralised list of no-hopers, for use throughout the industry. It would save them a whole lot of time and labour.

Different publishing houses have an inherent interest in their competitors wading through torrents of shit. It's probable that some publishers collaborate and share rescources but the majority don't, much for the same reason that McDonalds and Burgerking don't share consumer data.

best answer so far.

being in the paper is not an honor, more like the reverse, because it means journalists noticed you and journalists are UNIVERSALLY complete subhumans who should be legally disallowed from holding work or receiving charity

>2017
>Being published whilst you're still alive
>Admitting that you are motivated by avarice, vanity and the need of fame
>Not withholding all of your material to be published posthumously, which is when it really counts

Later, losers.

It's the kind of thing a third-party developer might come up with. A sort of "credibility rating agency" for would-be authors. Publishers would submit their data and pay a fee to access the central database.

If it works in the credit industry, it could work for publishing. Might be a business opportunity worth pursuing, if it hasn't been already.

Overwhelmingly, nothing. Most YA authors would have made more money if they had spent their time flipping burgers instead of writing. When you get to the point where you're making more than you would have otherwise, the threshhold becomes your self-awareness and appetite for shame. How much of a raise would you accept in exchange for the private and public knowledge that you are a hack?

Hey that's the Dublin Chapters, that's where I shop

H&F on Dawson Street is more comprehensive and better laid out, honestly.

Yeah, but Chapters has that dirt cheap second hand section upstairs

Are either of you published authors? Don't reply if not.

I've published scientific papers, does that count?

Just short stories online and in a couple of magazines.

"Well Id like to get published, so Im kinda here to hear about other people's experiences and maybe learn a thing or two."

Thwack the bridge of their noses with my actual, tangible book, then berate then like they deserve.

Are these three Polacks famous?

Girl here. I'd have turned away by the fifth word.

Betacarotene deficiency

I would lie about it, make up a name of a book and a plot for it on the spot. All the hipsters will pretend to have heard of it and I'm in.

link them to my halo X my little pony fan fiction and ask them if it counts.

I made $50k at 23 killing babies in third world countries. Then I made $60k to sit around and read books. I got a triplet of buddies out in Silicon Valley all pulling in mid six-figures, all under 25, to code shitty phone apps.

Oh, but you're impressed because someone else wrote one of hundreds of thousands of books that gets published a year, but her drivel was the right kind of stupidity to get snatched for by a publisher so that publisher can cash in on the inevitable Netflix mini-series or Fall seasonal movie.

Breh, get over it. Literally billions of people make money doing things. Millions of people make money doing they things they love. It is not special or unique, at all, and pretending like it is is a surefire way to out yourself as a child.

Do actual publishing companies only consider publishing works by someone who's already published in magazines, journals, newspapers, etc?

Do they just ignore aspiring writers who haven't published anything before hand?

>caring about money

She's going to blow it on purses and cocktails, hoping the guy who rails her that night won't leave her in the morning like all the others have.