OC poetry

I'm in need of criticism, I think it's time we have an OC poetry critique thread.
Haven't written any poetry? Type up a quick one

Cut your shit, Mr Fitt
Is your life in a barrel?
So full is your witt, yet your heart is so feral
let see your own chain past the mask you call eyes?
The dead rope that is bane hidden veil behind flies
Flutter fast and move past
As so not to be wasteful
The prior of thought,
Always gross and yet tasteful
Im inflamed that your tidings give offer this late?
I can't help but to let my heart focus it's hate

Yet more potent than wrath am I stricken with interest
Where finds what the founders recounted that this is?
A lure for the demons who cast false intention
Or sense made to those in the nation's resistance
Unlucky who cross too far near to its gate
To get eaten alive by its gears and it's pistons

The student shall know
To his yay, for his woe
How the good causes curse
Without limit to go
And the bad, and the bad?
Grips of eyes cry beware
Whilst the whimpers give loose
And the cat points it's hair
That no “bad” may be seen
No more lest be it “good”
Fair of not for the sinners
Grief denied which once stood
If your words, seed of death
Never come understood
Don't let squander your breath
Crash against the dogwood

Mr Fitt! Mr Fitt!
I forgive you your sins!
Just come back, my heart begs
What I lacked was a lense
Now I see! Now I see!
Sight of all that could be
How misused was my life
Oh how clear is the key
Now I beg only this
That you'll open the door
This is nothing to miss
Though I know it's a chore
I am ready to walk
Nevermind what was spoke
Take your hand, grip the knife
I won't scream if you poke

I'm gay, by me

I'm gay
Chop my knob off like it's salami
Homo faggot cum cum willy
Stuff my bum up so your cock's not chilly
Poofy woofy sex with a dog
Canada allows for this; let's all fuck dogs
Now I'm gay and also a furry

The power I hold and the power you seek
Is a sneak to the power which cowards retreat
More complete than all other, oh sisters and brothers!
So whole in the way that it feeds one another
The power not seen,
Power spread and may shower
Hands reach for the sky cast to feel this great hour
The here and the now is how hope of our kind
Had its most fruitful taste, and so had its worst crime

By this way had the power first made itself known,
Then provoking in visions the dream of a throne
Unannoyed from astride heavens innermost ring
Waiting patient there still to be claimed by a king
For does fate so cause the winds to blow?
The love to bring?
The knowers to know?
All the things shared between every ebb, every flow?
Flocks resolve all the angels who've fallen below?


Here so lies the tongue alongside its golden beak
To herald forth eternal prayer
A prayer that only God can speak
The never sinking waves of glory, rising higher past the peak,
Where full mystique let keep ungiven,
Hair resolve to hold its ribbon,
Souls which had the Lord forgiven,
Deft to its impacting beat
You still don't know?
It's tough to say
What need be spoke
I ask and pray
How stretch us ever even close
The sacred power God is host

The blind alike with those who see
Embroidered names on clear cast skies
Of all the gifts twer found to be
By every guest, their searching eyes
And how infamous stood,
Breaking stars like a tower
That even high heaven bare shade to it's power
What says is unknown because know is it's name
And it's game is unlearned, hardly known as a game
Yield not forth ever gold, neither silver, nor fame
The desired effect is alone why we came

Cont...

Cont...

So then harold and heed to the sound of my creed
Thou shalt do as thou wilt, but in sleep thou shalt dream
Eyes in wake staring madness art tossed to the breeze
When the king claims his throne then shall Hell start to freeze

Stop.
Fast as wind,
Stop.
You fool,
You coward
Stop, just one or two times for
The end commands the voice of God
Through men surpassing, skin and core
Go on then,
Shed tears for it
Love thy peers for it
Satan jeers for it
Woe to the debtors
Make face against fears for it
Courage restrained, only fools would draw near toward it

Lo!
For that so,
With the circling crow
While for worse, or for better,
We're curdled in pain
All the times that had come, had not wished that we stow
Had not ever to suffer so close to it's reign
Fire falling like acid, for man is concerning
On skin felt like rain from the Hell that is burning
Whilst winds keep on blowing, and Earth keeps on turning
To love is to die, and to hate is to sin
Man has still to command a decree without yearning
This taught to you then, now return with a warning
And hope this was taught whilst steadfast was you're leaning
Don't do it, or else
Don't you do it again!

Not again shall it be
Not again, not once more
Never then shalt ever make of what comes then,
Of either or
And sound the tongue and golden beak,
A songbird sings, and never ending
Clamping lips that squawk, and squeak,
And screeching hymns, from angels sending
Mind you not if rich or poor,
For lords and servants bow the same
Inherit death it's final score, which hills of heaven yonder bore
March forth we yet, til path ignore the hills of heaven never more
And onward still til we ignore the strife twer made forever more
Our God’s forbidden power hidden,
Always shrouded
Ever more...

That's a lot of words user.

>Type up a quick one
this is the worst advice

I saw some nice character development

The big dick old man
With very little hands
Flantasy flan
My butthole is tan
Whoa whoa way way
Wookie laki wooka

Yeah honestly I could probably cut a lot out of it without hurting it

Here's another:

My Dick is Small by me

My Dick is so Small
I pick padlocks with it
Little Penis, Pretty and Petite
Looks like a mite of dust between my feet
(when I look down)

I brush against girls on the train
And their only complaint is "where is it?"
Fucking Whores

The day he solves the triune puzzle, all the Earth shall joyous guzzle
Thirsty maw with tooth and claw lay ever hidden under muzzle

Thrice the long awaited yield
The crops retained from unseen field
Upon the plains of soul are owed,
Its cause to Earth, for Earth to wield

Inception all!
A trifecta shall call!
The deception of man, with his biggest downfall!
The collections he's made stand at risk for to fade
Lest return to the all like a thunderstorm’s call

For oh how swiftly these shall melt
Within the hustle and the bustle
When he walks the chosen path
The day he solves the triune puzzle

Local singles in my area? 'Nary a.

how can one critique what is already objectively perfect?
keep up the good work, you really blew me away with this one

Yo yo, check this flow
I'm sick as a hick
with a big dick, trigger itch
cap a snitch, rap a bit,
powder sittin' in the cockpit

Yo yo, I'm a yoyo
walk the doggo while I pogo
Catch me doing a boing boing
on my pogo while my pole go
inbetween ya lady's groins

Then catch me browsing Veeky Forums
the popo caught me browsing Veeky Forums
Now I'm livin in the pen and suckin dick with no foreskin
Barely fittin it in now im gettin wet as a wet hen

Heh...........................................

holy................

And another

4 Toes by me

My feet have four toes
Between them both
I walk like bricks are stapled to my soles
I play football and can't score any goals
All the other kids hate me, yo
So I cut their throats with
My 6 inch toenail clippings

Roses are Red, and Violet's a hue.
I'd fuck Adolf Hitler and I'm a Jew.

ashcans
and
travel bans

beams
and
regimes

are you usefull?

the frequency of the mist
disturbs me

the functional manual
confuses me

any injust wording
appals me

only infallible experiments
sooth me

Doctor Pavel
I'm CIA

I'm a big guy for you

Doctor Pavel
I'm CIA

Let's kill all the jews

if declined empires
can controle poisoning

if broad symmetry
can offer wit

and whole inferiority
can endanger novelty

then how can certainty wind
brave duration?

I've become so numb,
I can't feel you there

Become so tired,
so much more aware

I'm becoming this,
all I want to do

Is be more like me
and be less like you

physically brave
and uncertain insight
make for a revisioned glance

trails of today
will retrieve expectations

knocking stamps
and empty busses

the anthology of smoke
muddles the availability of presence

a chased noun
may derive muck

but drilling pockets
will pick the attendant

wise romance
a variance

preserving disadvantage
before discovering the rod
only the usual badge
could end inspiration

Ain't it a shame that you can't say "Fuck"
Fuck's just a word
And it's all fucked up
Like a fucked up punk
With a fucked up mouth
A nine inch nail
I'll get knocked the fuck out
Fucked up aids
From fucked up sex
Fake ass titties
On a fucked up chest
We're all fucked up
So whatcha wanna do?
We fucked up me
And fucked up you

rolling ranges of brass
developing fuss

extensions portraying friction
to study sufferer
pretty transcripts
will appraise transaction

if the attacking voice
could be double holy

i'm will destroy kaur

merely christmas
and the holy orchestra
fell the electorate of faith

binding prerequesites
won't stop climatic contraception

an island of offense
made a singular lie mandatory
dig up the ruler of birth
when they justify the record of blade

judging becomes abstract
once constant reducing
spoils the stir

...

an alliance of hair
is an undesireable fortune
that no argument can reward
for the equipment of a killer
lies in it's acoustic notation
more than some substantial spread

to the fiscal ceremony
runs a ruler of existence
hurting the caveat of boundaries
won't help the cave of indirection

not less than i
nterpreting the impossible

the interface of a bulb
conflicts with the whistles
similar to a chart of conjecture
diseased with comparative smooting

ownership of interruption
clashes with the pinching of genetics
beinging an alert god
to charter sympathy

to confront virtue
expect the empty outcome
and epic capacity
will higlight it's ribbon

pro polynomial
contra crop

pro deity
contra failing

pro shining
contra doubled

pro combine
contra snail

pro manual
contra voltage

pro moving
contra adventure

pro saint
contra physic

transforming viewpoints

So it’s not: Love, Peace and Harmony
but nicks on your knuckles
and cracking necks on the curbstones.


Turn away if you say so, night owl
with your white chamberlain in fleeting youth,
you sit in your tree and spit on strangers’ heads.

Turn away and follow through the gardens,
pollen-seething pedals and the water lilies
so resoundingly fragrant and at last glaring death.

In those splintering rays
we might fall asleep to the sound
of that tired metric, studying rules of verse,
intruding with the sound of leaking faucets into our dream.

mint voting won't edit termination
spoofed configuration of the freak maze

wasted recommendation won't let speciality reflect
but sexuality might scale the derivative

the opinion of a pen
in addition to gold
has injustice anticipated

the loan of a speaker
or the sermon of an image
for someones revenge
is a dog in a pocket

open the tip
instantly strip the cider

red brightness
spurts in eyne

wallets on diet
the brown religion
for the wolf container

the original foam
on cabinets in liaison
a social award
for appearing roads

rewriting the fourth chase
for shining rats

national familiarity for dyed doors
swimming artist against coffee
the certainty of entity
miles in the swamp of belief
to meet compassion
and cancel cope

periodic diameter
in a cruising valve

he dug close
for teaching beef
but silly mending
was the turning base

to beg a tutor
a museum of bigotry
spoiling the perfection of the mob

eagle resources
for provision training

analogue spreading
in a fantasy childhood
laboring bonus tales
and detecting the dynamic response

the criterion of election
will catch the atmosphere

every narrow molecule
will struggle for support

a listing of efficiency
could disturb the tribe
lovely skipping notes

when a silver tool is heating the wall

condescending privilege
or the feedback of excuse
rescue western variation
and the budget empire
pouring supply from my mouth
barely escaping the arrow

Wow everyone here is a shitty poet.
Except for me of course lmao fr fr.

in a sea of fake fall
the chancellor putts the flag
his obsession with entirety
and altering examination
for a shortage of major treats

the counterpart of a sigma
stretching the clause

post criterion or get examined

i already posted mine (friendly note: it was the only good one in this thread.)

there wasn't a single good one itt...

stop closing the lemon, user

>Flantasy Flan

I literally had the thought of making a Final Fantasy parody game in RPG maker called Final Flantasy. All the enemies would have been flan with the final boss being that guy from Courage the Cowardly Dog except he is depicted as Jesus Christ ascending.

if you want to correspond, refrain from such atrocity

My verbiage has the exact amount of eloquence to appease entities of all quandry. I abscond no further groundling.

I came here looking for a poetry critique and found culture in it's purest...not a total loss.

stale convenience is the weapon of talk mania

you are revealing your uncertain limbs

Are you an algorithm? The chatbots are getting so advanced these days...

that would just be a final coincidence

actually, i'm testing your unconscious nerv for urgency and monarchs

I call this one I can't write poetry but I made this my steam bio

Ejaculating hordes of middle aged bikerz parading through the sky.
Man guy. Gay lady guy.
Futuristic cyberpunkz hot load.
In a world of pretty peculiar gender confused teen twinkzz only on {LINK REMOVED} comes a new global order.
Globally globalized by globalists who crusade for the final goal of the final endgame. The real end.
The ultimate endgame of the 6000 year long talmudic jewish conspiracy.
Destruction of god. Destruction of goy.

Rings of worship revealed at the docks while two man and man lady share sunset.
Indeed arrests ensue as man mangirl love is degenerate.
Stop right there genderterrorist scum.
The federal rebellion against the grandfather.
The ring is in the basement.
All plants must wither so as the rabbi kisses the scar of circumcision.
Bad water, bad food bad TV bad Movies bad Games bad comedy bad news.
When is your mother coming home?
Sexual but frequently molest puppy playstation controllers two pairs of one but contradictory of the fact that in space you can't give a man a handjob.

Next gen HD 4k 120FPS fluid gameplay reelz replay of worthless overweight high guy ugly men and women.
Streaming days of their lives nobody is funny nobody really cares.
Ugly people ugly get out and never come back.
Fat fucks fuck off.
Golden boy's done it again.
Sexual executive order melanin positive super hero Obamer got away.
Wee wee luigi new mario out now buy.
Stylin guyliner, nerd glasses, patchoulie perfume and a goofy looking plaid scarf.
Intergalactic seamonkeys sail around gangs of bloodz cripz battling for black supremacy.
Burn in hell trayvon.
Michael Brown is a fucking asshole fuck you. Oh you're dead.
Contrary to popular belief its pants up don't shoot.

this was deep

you should take this to your local slam poetry gig bud

maybe he should.
but usually, a bird in the snow doesn't note synthesis

does an ape rape? answer me this and ill carry your luggage, lad

only if his delta output matches his base want. if not, he won't touch the flute listener and also not the stack former.
simple volunteering could cut the atrocity

...

now riddle me this, since you can't carry ma luggage:

if a cult covers a fudge carriage, is it a good liaison or merely a superior bulb?

>yfw nov 8

fack! how did you know?

>genuinely seeing an insulting anthology

please stay on topic, this is a poetry thread

i'll give you poetry you governor

if a fly could see the correlation between justification and a mere prototype
it's financial recycling would soon dispose of the dance

but a biscuit script could never be as dense
and only sell limited documentaries

difficult diner time
is what makes murderes and missiles

why are the globalists communicating with me directly through Veeky Forums

because we want YOU to velebrate anarchy

to stay on topic:

the continuum's punishment
a misreading syndrome

why would you abandone
approximation for a slice of civilisation
when you could have indicative agents
subtly kicking the ordinary behalf

because you are a fucking cunt

how unasked for...

i want you to know that you are a gay circulation compiler

for you

i can't believe you are the genocidial /tv/ bane poster...

i am him

spooked?

rather amused at the rag beast with naive infringement you are

you should drop your declaration of cattle and post poetry instead

is my image male or female?

definitely hermaphroditic

Il n’y pas si longtemps

En voyant le soleil se lever sur la dent blanche ce matin
Le fil de ma mémoire m’a retrouvé parmi les arbres cylindriques
Tous ces oiseaux multicolores que j’avais jadis dessinés
Ont recouvert le ciel de leur plumage-écorce
Savais-tu, frère, qu’il n’y a pas si longtemps
Tu connaissais le monde, tel que tu te le caches
Pas celui des idées, ni celui des objets
Celui que ta grand-mère, et sa grand-mère aussi
Te montraient chaque soir
Et les mots qui quittaient
Leurs bouches s’ornaient alors
D’une dorure chaude
D’un métal liquéfié
Tu les voyais, ces mots, et ils formaient ce monde
Dont je me suis rappelé à l’aube de la nuit
Tu y marchais d’ailleurs, de tes pieds sans blessures
Foulant les feuilles au sol, buvant l’humidité
Souviens-toi, et sache qu’en ce temps-là déjà
Tout était rose et grise était l’ombre
Dans l’arbre creusé par l’esprit du temps
Et du feu
Se tapissait un gnome, son bonnet sur ses yeux
Curieux de ta présence, sans arrêter sa sieste
Il t’a guidé jusqu’aux portes sous la cascade
Il murmura une perle, qui te permit d’entrer
Là mille bougies faites d’une sève antique entouraient
Le totem de roseau à trois têtes
Martin-Pêcheur, bouc et fourmi
Des trois regards de leurs six yeux
Il te firent une longue promesse
Quelle était-elle ? Je ne peux te le dire
Si un jour, baigné de la lumière orangée de l’autel solaire
Une vue sur l’horizon, l’abysse, le sommet, le coin ou la foudre
Te donnait un indice
Viens donc me le confier
Et nous retrouverons, ensemble
Le chemin cahoteux

-

*leans into mic*

WRONG

gay and french

oh wait, those are synonyms

*leans to your ear*

MORE POET LESS PREACHING

*cums on your toes*

MORE PEPE LESS PEEPEEPOOPOO

bon ma negre

*kisses your parenthesis*

LESS TICKING MORE LAYOUT

Waves are cool by me

I empty the bottle
Like the tree lose its leaves
Not asking why
Nor in need of
Understanding
I'm the tree
The tree's drunk

Slam poetry? That bad huh?
words cum in my brain
I type them
I sound insane
burrito chastity for the sake of staying on topic
Maybe this'll help me get laid

I really like this one. It's nice.

Thank you :)

Ya des bons moments je trouve
>Martin-Pêcheur, bouc et fourmi

I've seen footage
I stay noided
I've seen, I've seen
I've seen footage

Come here bby gurl
You're from here
But I've seen
In your eyes
Lost the grip
For a fall
Is it you
Or is it I
Because
Before
The sunrise
I will lose
A heart and an eye

[Enter FACEPALM

FACEPALM:
Yon maskèd asses don't know shit about
The Theatre of Words; these rottin' minds
Coagulate in sedentary flouts
Of real deals and truthful, fair bard kinds—
Yet Egos claim autistic voices: O,
Put on thy clothes, ye stupid crashes, leave
The Echoing thunders of false inspiration
For birds to sing in trees; your excrements
Do fertilize dumb lands to poison'd jests.
Are these minds sick, and yet in childish play?

Stillness of mind.
Devourer of the sky.
The caller of flesh to return to stone.
Voicing nothing, claiming nothing.
As tendons render into bone.
Knowing nothing, feeling nothing.
Simply minding one of home.

Liveness of mind.
Impregnater of the sea.
The usher of flesh to return to waters.
Stating all things, knowing all things.
As bone stretches and then tenders
Feeling all things, forming all things.
Fully minding one of others.

Of Mind

Stillness of mind.
Devourer of the sky.
The caller of flesh to return to stone.
Voicing nothing, claiming nothing.
As tendons render into bone.
Knowing nothing, feeling nothing.
Simply minding one of home.

Liveness of mind.
Impregnater of the sea.
The usher of flesh to return to water.
Knowing all things, stating all things.
As bone stretches until tender.
Feeling all things, forming all things.
Fully minding one of other.

Bump