Lit stories

I'm jelly hermano.

I don't know why I still post here desu, I was looking for Veeky Forums whilst drunk and just stayed. I've never read a book in my life.

hey bud, no shame, i'm the same way. inversely i like to go to barnes and noble and demad books they never have. it's intensely pleasurable tomwatch the guys stand there, knowing they don't have it, knowing i know they don't have it, i usually don't want them to look it up, but they typically offer.

saw an amy schumer book and laughed at it with my wife for a few minutes though. i wish there were good used book stores nearby, there's only one i know of.

kek I do that whenever I'm in a new bookshop for the first time

>be me
>at main branch library
>all kinds of bums homeless and weirdos all the time
>browsing the fiction section
>I look up and notice a black guy staring at me as he mumbles a very effeminate "damn"
>oh fuck
>switch to other section but he follows me and keeps staring
>pretend I get a call
>oh hey bro are you coming in your car with all our other angry friends? yeah they can kill people, ok I'll be right outside
>leave

Havent gone back in like three years.

Read a book. Also welcome to Veeky Forums, you can't be dumber than the average around here.

>>oh hey bro are you coming in your car with all our other angry friends? yeah they can kill people, ok I'll be right outside

Start with the Greeks.

Top kek, son

>go to bookstore
>find myself browsing trough the pseudo scientific spiritual bullshit section more and more

Two weeks ago i bought Nectar of the BaghavadGita by Swami Prabhupada and a book in italian about astrology, that quickly started spewing warnings about an epidemia of cancer that is to come

wanna date?

>years ago
>go to the library and get a lot of books for my classes
>get out of the building and go for a walk with my gf
>we enter to a big conglomerated bookshop
>talking about which books should we steal if we have the opportunity
>notice the guard is watching us very carefully
>decide to get out without buying or stealing anything
>alarm sounds
>gf gets really anxious while I chill because I know we didn't steal anything
>guard comes at me and asks
>"Do you have any books in your backpack?"
>"Why, yes. A lot of them"
>gf looks at me terrified
>"Sir, I'm going to need to ask you to open your yadda yadda"
>open my backpack
>full of library books
>gf laughs histerically
>guards tells us to just go

>went to the second hand bookstore
>old lady comes in, is returning a Margaret Atwood novel says she found her too miserable
>my stressed and tired brain thought she'd said Ayn Rand (don't ask me why)
>i laugh and smile
>the old lady sees me and asks if i've read her
>i say no but 'she's the one who says love is a selfish emotion right'
>awkward silence
>woman replies: sounds like her

I paid for my copy of Absalom, Absalom! and got outta there

One time I was waiting for someone to show and they didn't (turned out we were waiting at two different places) but there was a dude waiting where I was waiting. He asked me what I was doing and I said waiting. Eventually I gave up and decided to go and grab a beer so it wasn't time wasted and he followed me. Asked me was I was gonna do now. I said have a beer and go home. He said I was pretty and wanted to go with me. I said no thank you, I rather be alone right now.

But he wouldn't leave. He sort of fell back, but I knew he was following me. I was never so terrified in my life. I ducked into a store and he stood out there, watching me. The store was closing, so I had to leave, ducked into another store, and he stood outside that one, too. I got so nervous, I dropped a beer. Had to leave again.

AND ALL MY FUCKING FRIENDS WOULDN'T ANSWER THEIR FUCKING PHONE.

Eventually I just went into a burger joint and he just stood on the curb, staring at me. For like ten, fifteen minutes. Eventually he left, but I stayed in the joint for like, two hours to make sure he was really gone.

Fucking terrifying.

Anyway, closest I ever got to being raped and murdered.

>go into small bookshop
>order a cup of earl grey, buy a copy of McKendrick's Crocodiles & Obelisks
>read it listening to the light jazz
>it's ok
>ask store owner for recommendations on 18C gothic horror
>he sells me two Arthur Machen books
>walk home through the countryside while reading

>walk home through the countryside

where do you live senpai
that sounds comfy as fuuuuuck and i'm jealous - i like living in a big city but it can get so noisy at times

He made it up

>Be 18yo me
>live in a shitty small town, demographics don't really fit Veeky Forums's so don't expect fellow countrymen to be Veeky Forumserati in general
>get on bus
>miraculously it's not crowded, see free seats in the distance
>rush over
>manage to sit down
>2/10 comfy, this gon be a bad ride
>look forward
>see pic related
>mfw.jpg
>get phone out of pocket, take pic
>start wondering what kind of person would write that
>has to be a girl, for the rounded handwriting
>go home, post pic on Veeky Forums
>no replies, what was I thinking?
>but, what if I could actually find her?
>ost the picture every now and then for a few months, hoping she'd browse Veeky Forums as well
>sometimes feel like I'm wasting my time but it seems almost fateful that I ran into what she wrote so keep posting every now and then
>a year goes by
>one day get reply from someone who claims to be her
>omgomgomgomg.jpg
>gives me skype address, we talk
>she's a qt3,14159265358979
>"wow user, I can't believe you ran into what I wrote! Infinite Jest is like, my life"
>talk to her everyday for a weel about mostly lit related stuff, she's really into DFW, Gass, Pynchon, DeLilo, the list goes on
>learn a couple things about her: she's 17, wants to study psychology and writes in poetry and prose (recites me some of her poems on skype)
>turns out she lives 5 minutes away
>she wants to meet
>finally the time comes
>tell her to meet at a cafe halfway between our homes she asks if I could show her my personal library later
>"yeah sure why not"
>get there
>we arrive at the same time so we meet in the street
>she says "hi user" with a smile in her face "how are y-"
>slap that bitch accross the face
>she screams and freaks out
>face is read
>cries/screams "WHAT THE FUCK user WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT"
>"that's for reading meme po-mo garbage"
>"pleb"
>calmly walk back home
>go back to posting on Veeky Forums

machen is not 18th century, though

I read this as the qt3.14 slapping user for reading DFW. I came.

>be you
>actually be happy for a moment
>place value in something because it's different
>other people don't understand

That actually sounds like a really comfy moment bro.

Reminds me, yesterday I was reading Trouble in Paradise by Zizek and he was going on about how people's expectations have exponentially risen alongside technology and globalisation.

Then I had a conversation with my dad where he told me how much more it used to mean traveling to London in order to go to HMV and even get McDonalds.

Not sure what my point is, but it must be nice placing value into things because they're not readily available.

gud

Kek'd

>have school friend who is obviously gay but is closeted
>gift him Giovanni's Room as my way of saying it's no biggie
>he loves it
>he loves me
>he thinks I gave it to him because I'm gay
>friendship falls apart

Damn you James Baldwin.

>want to be more informed so i can better discuss the topic of thermonuclear warfare
>read a book (pic related) about it
>learn that 95% of things people think and say about the topic are easily-debunked falsehoods
>cant discuss the topic anymore without becoming frustrated with others

Reading was a mistake. Don't fall for the education meme, friends.

It is quite badly dated though and some of the stuff is iffy on the factual side.

>xD I have a gf
the only thing of substance in your """"story"""

dude, i'd be charmed if i saw more people like you in bookshops - enthusiasm for literature is nothing to be ashamed of, albeit you did sound like a middle aged mom who didn't know any better

that junction is lovely to stare at, shame about all the ugly buildings

I don't really remember how the conversation went, I'm happy with the books.

they did a good job rebuilding after the bug strike

yeah, machen's p. great

>>learn that 95% of things people think and say about the topic are easily-debunked falsehoods
>>cant discuss the topic anymore without becoming frustrated with others
>cant point out the falsehoods in others statements to them clearly and concisely

there's one of these for itaots right

I can tell you don't talk to average people very much.
People dont like being corrected, even moreso if its about a political opinion. They wont listen and will just stop talking to you if you persist.

>be me, entering cool second hand bookshop
>owner eats his dinner on front desk
>tell him bon appetite
>he says thank you
>start looking for books

Don't worry, you seem like you were probably the most pleasant and least pseud person in that bookstore

underated

>go to cool book shop in Charlotte
>pick up Gravity's Rainbow
>qt working at front desk
>buy book from the guy at the other register
>go home
what a tale i've told

>be 19
>in community college program to transfer to 4 year school
>friends with Veeky Forums qt that goes to the 4 year school i want to go to
>friends with a guy who also goes to the 4 year school
>they're in the same intro to philosophy class
>be talking to the girl on msn about the class
>they have an essay due
>tell my friend i'll write his essay to flex my brain power
>mfw i'm actually not smart at all
>make bet with girl that if i get a better grade she has to have sex with me
>she agrees
>stay up all night trying to finish the essay, material is too confusing
>the next day i have to tell friend that i didn't do his essay
>it's due that day

>talking to same qt on facebook about poetry
>i don't know shit about poetry
>google some random tennyson poem and say it's my faovrite
>tell her i'll write a poem for her birthday
>her birthday passes and i didn't write her a poem
>she comes over one day, write a shitty poem in five minutes before she gets there
>mfw when she says she likes it to make me feel good

>go to same girl's house one day to watch 120 Days of Sodom
>watch the movie
>download n64 emulator on her computer because she likes silicon valley
>in her room
>asks me what i want to do now
>i leave and go home

>be at 4 year college, philosophy major
>post descartes give her the dick meme on philosophy program facebook page
>no one comments

>take semiotics course because is sounds cool
>show up on first day, it's all girls, save for like two guys
>teacher asks a question and makes everyone in the class give an answer
>my turn is coming up, have nothing to say
>my turn comes, talk for like two minutes
>have no idea what im saying but just keep talking anyway
>teacher doesnt comment on my answer, just moves on to the next person

>be in epistemology class
>qt girl in tutorial asks a question
>write her question down
>go home and write my own answer to it
>write like a full page answer
>give her the paper the next week
>she actually thinks it's pretty cool
>never talk to her again

>make friends with girl who lives in my neighborhood and goes to my college
>invite her over to study
>go to my room
>mfw we actually sit and read in silence for an hour

>be in grad school
>first day of class
>leave class with girl and we go to the bookstore to buy books together
>pick out all the books really quickly
>she takes her time
>go to line and pay for books
>stand outside of bookstore for ten minutes waiting for her
>classmates taking outside see me standing there for ten minutes

>be in grad school
>every week i bring a different book to class and read in the classroom before the class starts
>always start in the middle so it looks like i've been reading it for a while
>never actually read the book

holy fuck

youre pathetic

I hope this has been cathartic for you

McDonald's advertising.

And then they want respect.

Holyy i want more

wtf that's Córdoba, why would you name it buenos_aires.jpg
mfw i live 10 blocks away from you

You're still a virgin, aren't you?

There's no need to be a dick about it.

You know what that means, right? Hot gay sex.

>He said I was pretty and wanted to go with me

Reminded me of when I was 16ish. I was having dinner at a nice restaurant with my family. Some very drunk older guy stumbled into my dad while getting up from his table. He apologized and looked around the table. When he saw me, he said I was gorgeous and that he wanted to sculpt me. Pretty sure he thought I was a girl as I had long hair, no facial hair and am scrawny as shit.

I do this every day and constantly get the police called on me

Try to get your facts in, if you hear someone say something incorrect, and you are 'certain' you are correct, you must say "that is actually incorrect, and I can prove it to you"... thats all you need to say... whatever they say back "what..!! what!! wah wah wah"... "you said a statement, that I can prove is incorrect... I only care about facts and the truth... if such is the same for you, then you might wish to hear me out... may I proceed without interruption?..yes, I may"

WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl in you

Perfect view to commit suicide to (which I strongly recommend, by the way,)

>go to public library
>theres a literal neckbeard watching porn 3 computers away from little kids on youtube

such is mississippi life

wew nice blog post, TL DR version please?

>be 13
>like reading but not really into classics yet, mostly Chrichton-tier shit
>find a book by a new author
>read it, when I'm done, lend it to a friend
>he also likes it
>be at the bookstore, decide to be nice
>buy two more of his books so I can read one and lend the other to my friend and switch
>my book was alright, worse than the other
>but his
>this fucking faggot pleb-tier author decides to put a fucking clumsy, poorly-written, out-of-nowhere, lesbian orgy in the middle of his novel
>this faggot, pleb-tier friend of mine decides to share with the class
>obviously telling them that it was my book
>mfw this reputation carried throughout the rest of middle school
>mfw four years later I was talking to this girl I like and she made a joke about this event
>mfw she didn't even go to middle school with me

anyway the moral of the story is never read anything that doesn't make you look pretentious

>he doesn't want to live in the labyrinthine chaos that produces true artistės of the written word

>such is mississippi life
oh god... you just reminded me mississippi exists, now my night is ruined

> "OOOOOOO" "OH LOOKY THERE" "AHHHHH IT'S [insert classic book]"
You deserved those scowls tbqh

Please don't continue that annoying tumblr habit of randomly having sentences in all caps

>oh god... I'm a faggot
Mississippi is the best; stop writing with this autistic holy i want more reddit style and go to bed

That sounds like Latinamurica.

Your state is complete garbage and you know it. Oklahomans pride themselves knowing that they're always at least better than Mississippians.

Mississippi is a million times better than half the other states. It's much better than boring fly over states or faggy over crowded states

>old bookshop in the city centre (U.K.)
>the Place is falling to pieces inside but has rugs and jazz and "quirky" ornaments
>owner literally has two old prosthetic hands that look like they're made out of fibreglass
>step on aforementioned rug to get past the stacks to the next row
>rug hiding a loose floorboard that tips up at the other end
>small book case with like 10 books on it lifts at one corner, enough to spill liks 6 books on the floor
>fake hand owner just looks at me over the counter like "lol no hands"
>gotta bend down and pick up his shit books in his dilapidated as fuck shop
>put them back and scurry out like a spaz.

As a side note he has an upturned picture frame on the counter that has coins on it so when's you give him paper money he slides the coins towards you like a blackjack croupier moving chips

really? come on buddy

Here's daddy's (you) that you've been begging for.

i work in a library and desu it's like that regardless of where you are

you are the worst human being i have ever heard from right up there with that group of soliders in iraq that raped and executed a little girl then covered it up

ive been here for years now you really are the worst

>go to a nice second hand bookstore
>find a nice leatherbound edition of assorted Joseph Conrad stories
>bring it to the counter
>buy it from the nice old man who owns the shop
>thank him and leave, eager to read the book
>take the bus home and read on the bus
Thank you for reading my greatest story

>gf

Normie get out

I was joking bruvh, I like Mississippi, have nothing against it; thought it would be funny to say, and I must say, I think I was right

Most realistic and relatable story in the thread. That archetype is increasingly applicable to my life.

>be in environment where I and a cute girl both make it apparent we like books without having to act contrived
>often but not necessarily include fleeting and flirty eye contact
>do nothing, make no move
>leave
>think about her for weeks
>regret it until you repeat with a new girl
>regret that interaction
>repeat ad mortem

Every time. Literally tonight I went to a local university's rendition of Coriolanus because a cute girl my friend saw on tinder mentioned the play in her profile and I wanted to meet her. Saw her at the play and left afterwards without speaking to her half out of cowardice and half out of disgust that they botched the play. Am now drinking at a bar alone and regretful, but not exactly sure what I regret.

>"OH LOOKY THERE"
fucking side destroyer
are you 53 or some shit?

Kekd, thanks for the post. It's pathetic but I totally relate and am laughing at myself as much as I'm laughing at you.

LOVING EVERY LAUGH
Mississippi isn't even the best fucking state that starts with M (that's Michigan)

>People dont like being corrected, even moreso if its about a political opinion.
all the more reason to correct them
the stubborn ones, the know-it-alls, and the holier-than-thous, they all need correcting the most
everyone deserves to know the truth

Fuck off namefag

You can't correct an opinion stupid. You're confusing arguements for brainwashing.

>Carry on reading! Or you will die

sounds like a lose-win to me buddy

what'd you learn?

are you a cute anime girl?

>>be at 4 year college, philosophy major
>>post descartes give her the dick meme on philosophy program facebook page
>>no one comments

favourite moment of this thread so far. yikes..

I hate you so much.

You regret being a coward. Stop being a fucking coward.

shine bright like a diamond

"Just stop being socially anxious"

Gee thanks, that solves everything. Can't believe I hadn't thought of it.

Well not that you have maybe you can work on it, thank me later

>>spend the next three weeks occasionally remembering high school and cringing at my old self
yelp "no!" and slap yourself in the face, then quick do something else. it helps.