Describe the plot of a book badly

ITT we describe the plots of stories badly and we guess what it might be

>be biggest meanest guy in the hood
>jelly cunts send biggest meanest guy to clip me
>gift him a hooker
>become BFFs
>jelly cunts clip him to get at me
>be sad

Catcher in the rye

>fuck you dad
>hey mister
>i'm a cowboy
>hey mister
>i'm a cowboy
>mister died
>pls no hurt me
>now that's what I call a clean getaway
>uh oh

>crazy-ass nigga think he tuff
>livin in da hood, lyfe is hard
>pops a cap in a ho for her shit
>busts up her sis too
>guilt hit dis mofo lyke 1 ton of briks
>cops on his ass
>boi about to lose his mind from how he just killed this little sis who didn't do nuthin wrong
>he go to the po-po and say it was me
>nigga gets the dime

...

>kinda like her
>maybe I shouldn't
>I think she likes me
>she disapears
>write book
>die

why do people in public gardens show their bare feet? they either disgust me or make me horny. it's literally like showing genitals in public, it shouldn't be legal

4 dudes have a party in a castle

>my dad can't handle losing WWI
>not that I mind, I just like seaweed
>go camping in Romania
>find journal
>read journal
>I like it
>REALLY like it
>Man I love this journal
>gf died :(
>grow old
>guess I'll visit my nephew

What is she reading Veeky Forums?

Gilgamesh

Get over it and learn to observe the human body without making somehow your problem.

...

>Be weak ass 10yo boy
>Everyone else is weakling like you
>Except dumbass cunt who got held back
>He's got muscles and armpit hair
>Beauttiful armpit hair
>I-I think I love him!

Some kid uses a computer to mine bitcoins the fucks a catgirl.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAP

2666 by Roberto Bolaño?

Confessions of a Mask?

Yeah you got it, guess it's too easy

*teleports behind you*
CORRECT

based

120 Days of Sodom

>kings keep asking me to do literary analysis on dreams
>they also try to kill me because i won't literally woship them

>family abandons me
>get new family
>befriend jew
>my family dies

Yeah

Genesis

kinda close

Either Allighieri or Green

Nope

His friend kills a roastie so he shoots him.

>need a job
>get a job at a mine
>get cucked by a 14 year old girl
>convince everyone to go on strike
>get a bunch of people shot
>go back to work in mine
>mine collapses
>kill 14 girls' boyfriend
>fuck 14 year old girl
>she dies
>you live

Germinal?

>uni sucks, bored and kinda poor
>only have one friend
>landlord is a bitch and has a retard relative she treats like a slave
>fuck I need to kill that bitch
>kill her
>police doesnt know for a while, eventually I confess
>also there's this poor woman with a small family I'm around constantly
>they throw me into prison and I become christian

praise the lord

crime and punishment

the Quran

An Indian kills a rapist

same

No

>terrorist kills my mom
>obsess about a girl and a painting
>make money off stolen painting
>end up addicted to pills and lonely

it's a good book

My diary to be desu

That Thomas Mann thing?

no

Joseph and His Brothers? I'm guessing because I haven't read it and you already said no to Genesis

no

>wear scramble suit
>buddy makes cocaine from sunburn spray
>do hella drugs

Fuckin' Charlie Sheen bio

Scanner Darkly

>leave home
>join gang
>kill indians
>get murdered

>Be obssesed with money
>My bitch, my workplace muh muh muh
>Have an empty hearth so darkness fucks me up
>They send a guy for me
>I die
>he lies

Corncob Tortillas

>those blades of grass between her shoulder blades
fUuUuuckkkk

Already did it

ding ding

>badly
You mean "poorly". For fuck's sake this is a literature board.

>get cornered on a train
>guy rants about how murdering his wife for cucking him made him a feminist

you got it

I am not a native speaker

...

>go real quick
>have a bunch of sexy time
>whoops world is over
>ah okay there's a new one
>let's just settle here I guess whatever

>a couple and the dude in the couple's best friend are friends
>they have fun together
>guy with the gf kills himself
>the leftovers go forward in their life in general solitude
>they meet again
>its revealed that girl was secretly attracted to him the entire time
>they have sex and he leaves
>guy attracts another girl also in a relationship who then leaves it
>in the end, guy has to pick between both girls
>he also has sex with an older woman

pretty obvious

What if Bret fell for a Russian mobster and had kooky criminal adventures? By Donna Tartt

Why does he look angry. I've never been angry when I've had a boner.

He's devious

A devious boner? You can walk around with a boned acting like a deviant? Like all chaotic and stuff???

>scratch on her calf
fucking dropped

Ducks have explosive spiral penises

Wait

WAIT

DEAR FUCKING LORD THAT IS MY EX GIRLFRIEND

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT LOOKED LIKE HER BUT I JUST REALIZED THAT'S HER PHONE CASE AND PHONE, AS WELL AS THE RED BRA

WHAT THE FUCK

>dad is rich fuck
>move to third world shithole so dad can mine some stupid resources and become even more rich
>dad dies
>mom and I become muslim terrorists
>conquer the imperium

You have three choices now:
1. Post a poorly described novel plot
2. Post more pictures of her for our pleasure
3. Fuck off

sup, Ash?

...

This is one of the only pictures I have, I blocked her on Facebook

Post pics to prove it or I'll assume you're a lying faggot.

...

>utorrent
jesus christ what a pleb

I used it one time in a pinch for some philosophy pdfs, please don't be rude

utorrent 2.2.1 is still one of the more functional torrent clients out there and there's no shame in using that

every build released after that is bloated adware though

>Reporter quits writing his book and instantly starts to hate everything
>isolates himself so much that he starts questioning everything around him
>goes to Paris to live with his ex

Dune

>kid can't decline latin nouns
>byron is also shit
>spooked
>then unspooked
>wait for the wacky sequel

Blood Meridian?

.... Portrait of the Autist as a Young Man?

Not a novel but
>dude like, mirrors and labyrinths, man.

Yessir

>the WEAK are MEAT
>tfw yung, gifted hedonist
>muh evil government/big business conspiracies
>wacky adventures of an ex-intellectual
>tfw ascended fast food worker
>the end of the world and ev'rything after
>tfw ascended fast food worker
>>wacky adventures of an ex-intellectual
>muh evil government/big business conspiracies
>tfw yung, gifted hedonist
>the WEAK are MEAT

ye

Bingo my man

>Dude takes business trip to the east
>Has a bad run in with the local aristocracy
>A new jack the ripper appears
>Only one man can take him down
>They chase him back to the east
>Take him down

>Four dudes and a girl drink a shitton of wine, and then nothing happens

>guy feels sick

It's quite common to have sad attention-seeking virgins make claims like these on anonymous imageboards. Just ignore them.

>humans make contact with aliens
>alien they meet is an idiot savant
>communicates via tools
>humans see advanced alien civilization
>aliens end up killing humans

>escape from kidnappers
>demons fight over who owns me
>get kidnapped by a smelly demon who turns me into a cow
>I run away and get married in hellfire
>Everything just becomes more and more like a bad acid trip until I leave and then miss the acid trip.
>This is what hatred did

What an original response.

notice the hiv bandaid next to her

I work at a post office, and I'm a giant piece of shit.

probably a book by Kundera

What the fuck, I posted a picture

Daniel, my dude

A guy and a younger guy wander around town and eventually meet and talk in question-answers

Beneath the Wheel?

The sun Also rises?

>two guys sit on the bench

Ulysses