Sci joke thread

sci joke thread

Two atoms are walking along.
One atom stops and says "Wait, I dropped an electron."
The other atoms says, "Are you sure?"
The first atom responds, "Yes, I'm sure."

Where the fuck is your joke ?

It's funnier like this:
>Two atoms are walking along.
>One atom stops and says "Wait, I dropped a proton."
>The other atoms says, "Who the fuck are you?"

an photon walks into a hotel hello i would like a room please
sure would you like us to take your luggage
no thank you i am a quantized wave packet

a topology walk in a bar and hello i would like a simplicial complex
bartender pours an ethanol
thanks

Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says "I would like a glass of H2O."
The second says "Yes, I will have water as well."
The end.

What do you call a deer with no eyes.
No idea.
Only the biologist master race will get this

A man walks into a restaurant called "Entropy". The waitress asks, "What would you like today?"

two physics walk in bar
they have beers and laugh and good time but they leave and secretly hate each other when they go home

wat do u call a pfaffian
no idea

only undergound 4chaners will get dis

Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says "I would like a glass of H2O."
The second says "Yes, i would like a glass of H2O too, please."
They both recieve glass of water.
The end.

A mathematician and a physicist walk into a bar. They have a bet on who can drink the most beer.
"I'll bet I'll drink exactly 12.0897231 glasses," says the mathematician. "How about you? How much will you drink?"
The physicist tosses his hand and says, "Ballpark, about a thousand."

Do you know why you can never trust atoms? They lie about everything.

Engineering

Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says "I would like a glass of beer."
The second says "Yes, I will have beer as well, who orders a water at a bar?"
The end.

Two physicists walk into a bar.
They order nothing since they are too poor.

An electron commits a crime
This leads to a wave of discrimination against all electrons because they are the same.

then why they walk into a bar?

a topology person eats his cup because he thinks is donut xD

El Lemant, D.K.

Pleased to meet you.

Hardy goes to visit Ramanujan in the hospital and mentions the number of his taxi was 14. "I'm afraid that riding in a cab with such a dull number is an ill omen," Hardy says. And Ramanujan replies, "No, not at all; 14 is a very interesting number. It is the only one which can be written as the product of 7 and 2 in two different ways."

thanks this one got me

Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says "I would like a glass of H2O."
The second says "Yes, i would like a glass of H2O too, please."
The waitress says "I'm sorry, we don't serve that here. But I can bring the other order."
They both die of peroxide poisoning.

To suck the Engineers' cocks.

An engineer walks into a gay bar.

nice

Three statisticians are duck hunting. One shoots 10 feet above a duck, the other shoots 10 feet below. The third shoots the first two because they have shit aim and do not provide for society

Asks the bartender what the mysterious double line symbol means

Damn I thought smart people were supposed to be funny

No I think it's the opposite

that is meta

this was actually funny

your mom is so fat she's considered overweight

A person gets a PhD in category theory. Badum tssss.

Grothendieck goes to visit Ramanujan in the hospital and mentions the number of his taxi was 57. "I'm afraid that riding in a cab with such a dull number is an ill omen," Grothendieck says. And Ramanujan replies, "No, not at all; 57 is a very interesting number. It is the only prime which can be written as a product of two other primes."

Feynman is in his deathbed sharing his last words with his wife
Feynman's wife: I need to make a confession before you die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father.
Feynman: No, not at all; 197 is a very interesting number. It is the only prime you get when you sum all primes before it

A Proton, Neutron, and Electron walk into a bar.
Japan Explodes

haha

An engineer walks into a gay bar
She leaves because she is heterosexual

What's a gayfish's favorite poet?
John Milton

The "joke" ITT is that the jokes are not jokes

They are also bald.

>he doesn't give his ones a tipped hat and a pair of shoes
All of this could have been solved if whoever designed that figure had just dressed their numerals better.

neutron walk into bar can i have a beer
for you the bartender says it's free

kek

A dyslexic unitary time-evolution operator walks into a bra.

Only physicists will get this

Schrödingers cat walks into a bar. And it doesn't.

Did its atom have 6 electrons?

>She
Kek

underrated

xd

A D meson walks into a bar. Immediately a top quark punches him in the face, because the meson was actually strange and exerted weak force.

a mathematician is looking at people going in and out of a building
she remarks that a person just came out of the building

A hadron walks into a bar. It's dark and there isnt any sign of electricity. He yells out to the bartender "HIGGS, IF YOU WANT ANYONE TO COME IN HERE. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TURN THE POWER AND LIGHTS ON!"

geologist walks into a bar
bartender asks "what will you have"
geolgist says "just water please"

A photon looks at a higgs boson and asks if this energy level makes her look fat.
The higgs replies, "no."

>this thread

Kek

Wow, that is disgusting.
Nasty.

>taking a screenshot of a twitter post that stole from /co/ which was making fun of jimmy neutron
brain blast

I don't get it

yeah i bet you don't....heh

is the joke that it's an antijoke, like the cab hospital story is so cliched that you all are shitting on it?

fuck you go back to your gook engineer faggot shit you fucking cuck everyone knows that engieneering isnt real science or math so fuck off with your faggot shit go back to your primitive ways of stupid 'building' shit you fuckin homo habilis gorilla boy

lol

lol

>OP makes a cringe thread.

I laughed but I can't be satisfied with the OP unless I knew to reasonable confidence that these two posters are different IPs. And that's quite impossible at this stage in the thread, for me.

Yes, the joke is that it's an anti-joke. Now sod off.

OP here
I can confirm it was different
I have no weigh of proving either of those statements though but I'll say it anyway

kys

Why is her arm a cock

what did you do

Man in red hat enters bar
He orders a drink of H2O
Bartender gives him water, says:
"Hey, my name is Albert Einstein and your hat looks like atom"
Man drops top of the hat
Bartender: "Who the fuck are you?"

Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip?

why

This order

Albert Einstein goes in a taxi to visit Ramanujan to the hospital. He has a small chat with the taxi driver in the meanwhile.
Albert asks: "How do you feel with having such a shitty fucking number on your cab? You disgusting piece of shit"
The driver turns out to be Ramanujan, and before he has a chance to tell Albert the amazing properties of 2 he catches the flu and dies and crashes the taxi.

He fucking dies

I was at a college, a second tier, not an ivy league school, a second choice school, and I was in a class. And there was a student in that class, okay? And the, the teacher, he was spouting some horrible non-sense, about how, it was something about how women’s rights are not legitimate, something that everybody knew was false, but if anybody had spoken up, he would’ve taken extreme joy in failing them. Okay? Nobody spoke up. One person raised his voice. One person started talking. The teacher couldn’t believe it, the classroom couldn’t believe it either. But in the end, he had logic on his side. And at the end of the day, he proved his point. That student was Albert Einstein.

To get to the same side!

How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible. Only biologists will understand this one.

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are contracted to build a fence for a farm, and each make a plan separately.

They make roughly the same designs.

What about mycologists?