I've never read a book in my life

Hegel is by far the most easily comprehensible Author for beginners.

YA fiction. Really.

with the greeks

Non meme answer :
The Stranger - Albert Camus

Short, easy to read, philosophical.

Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman

Kurt Vonnegut is a good author to start with.

Of Mice and Men
Can't remember the author's name, but it's a pretty short and simple book that also addresses some adult themes.

>Tell me about the rabbits, George...

The giver is a great entry level book. Not too long, fairly intriguing, all around good read.

At least introduce Huxley and Orwell's work first.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Not too long, accessible, fun etc.

Good luck on your new journey OP I know you will enjoy it.

Pick a decent novella. Here i have a chart for you

Animal Farm is only a novella? Damn, I've definitely got to check it out then! Not that I ever considered NOT reading it before... well actually, I think when I was a little kid someone mentioned Animal Farm, and it sounded cool at first, but then they mentioned it was about Communism. What child would get interest in a book by learning it was about an ideology? Well I'm not a child anymore, and I want to read it.

i have read 0 books as well
well out of school that is.
you have to understand sometimes people dont care much for books cause their will to read is crushed by boring monotonous books served to us at school.

amazon.com/Pillars-Sand-Schroer-Kent-C-ebook/dp/B01M0U2S8G/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1474488339&sr=8-2&keywords=pillars of sand

been reading this recently. if you like poetry, it's pretty good and easy to consume