My social anxiety

>Be me in 2013
>Have alot of friends parents expect everything from you
>Be very social
>Is sorta a loser at highschool
>Decides to try to get ripped to make up for me being fucking ugly
>3 days in working out in the gym some how gets developes water in ear canal
>Gets vertigo and keeps it for 3 months
>Couldnt eat due to vertigo loses 35 lbs from 140
>Gets better after 3 months...
>vertigo causes some weird shit in my brain developes social anxiety
>first week into school developes some sort of uncontrollable hand shakes when walking down the hall and making eye contact with people
>third week shaky legs and speech is heavily affected
>1 month in school again developes a violent neck and head twitch when someones stares from across the room or feels like someone stares at me
>grades go from b's c's to D's F's
>has multiple girls falling for him cause of his new personality of hiding and staying quite...
>I figured out sweaters made me feel more secure and felt less exposed.. My neck twitchs stop alot..
>Starts hangs out with more losers.. Sluts/manwhores/gangsters/etc
>gets stuck in mind more.. Learns how humans work.
>gets highly enlighten brain makes up for the loss of my talkative nature..
>2 months back in school i cant make eye contact anymore i cant be the star of the show anymore..
>be afraid of teacher..
>be afriad of students
>be afriad of brothers
>be afriad of friends
>be afraid of sisters
>be afriad of everyone...
>developes a blush..
>falls in love with a girl...
>social anxiety is so bad...that i cant even talk to the girl in my head where i can make scenarios...
>evil thoughts roll in....
>fights demons in head every day while twitching
>2 years now still in high school in a little group now.. Abandoned my new friends to make more friends... Im just friends with 6 people now...
>has the most beautiful girl in school try to ask me out...
>ingores her....freaks her out after with twitches.. (Want more of my highschool life?)

>hangs out with gangsters
Suspension of disbelief gone

whoa... I want more!

Buy a tank of helium, a straight razor and a rope, then close yourself in a garage with the car running, put on your helium mask and slit your wrists before hanging yourself with the rope

Why

>attends church...
>fights parents not to go..
>the beat me...
>i enter church this church isnt like any other...has to sit in a huge circle formation..
>realises... The full extent of my twitch... Almost cries from how much i have to stop my neck from twitching but hides it..
>has family who attends church... They want to get to know how ive been why have i been hiding..
>*blush mode activates* feels like a fucking idiot blushes from my uncle asking me a simple question
>has girl cousins attention from odd behavior doing so causes extreme hell for me.. Has a girl who likes him aswell in church
>girl always tries to look at me while im looking looking.... Feels her stare twitchs so hard it catches my fathers attention.. Has to now grab his whole head by putting his arm under chin
...
>this goes for a other 5 months..
>im not that person from high school or elementary anymore...
>rides bus... Blushes and twitchs from stares..
>cant speak anymore cause only pure awkwardness will come out..
>gets so fucking inraged begins search the internet for similar stores..
>isnt a fucking pussy and is tired of this shit..
>pin points comforts and discomforts solultions realises it has to do with overthinking..
>creates multiple senarios everyday to keep my head busy..
>mind works overtime...
>becomes highly enlightened
>manages to begin the killing process of social anxiety... (Continues)

>a month passes ive managed to kill 15% of social anxiety
>my head feels lighter..
>attends church and school still twitches.. Learns to controll twitch
>has almost 3.5 years now fighting social anxiety at this point
>now has a gifted mind
>has enough willpower and strength to try to force the words out of my mouth to parents why im like this now!
>infront of mom in bed now...
>words dont wanna come out..
>im 2 people now..
>a kidnapper and a child..
>i wanna tell her my head wont let me..
>begins a power struggle.. Beats it..
>cries... "Mom help me please please i-i have issues..
>mom responds "whats wrong"
>stupid cringe mode activate
>"i cant stare youre face without blushing or i cant stare at anyone without feeling like dying..."
>begins a long conversation
>parents and sister figure out i have like basically a serve case of social anxiety

the writing is horrible
the story is horrible
the invention is horrible
the progression is horrible
the wording is horrible
you, yourself, you as an user, are horrible.

I hope for either a quick death or an improvement in you, yourself Jack.

just remember that you can't blame anyone but yourself, are you really going to let a fake illness bring you down?

>waah I have so much anxiety these girls like me and I have all these friends wat the fugg D:

normie pls go

>4 months pass..
>35% is gone..
>becomes a genius at human psychology and developes weird dejavu dreams
>is now like 2016
>attends at "ephs" due to my low credits...
>still has twitches... But fights them off and wins once in awhile..
>a long time has pass at this point
>mid to end 2016 75% killed.. I basically fucking beat a highest known case of social anxiety at this point..
>now spends most of his time playing steam games.. Still has twitch.. Cant figure out i cant get rid of the last part...
>manages to grow into an adult..
>adult brain helps kill 10%
>is now end 2016
>working...
>now has like 8% left very very very minor twitches..
>that 8% i know is never gonna leave no matter what... Its gonna be apart if me forever..
>2017 now..
>has girl liking him has a love life..
>Now is left with a gifted mind and with minimal social anxiety.. Is now social again.... Feels exhausted... Almost 5 years of fighting now ended...
>present.. Now..
>is crying writing this..
>arms are shaking..
>head is twitching...
Thanks for listening