At bookstore

>there she reveals a big ol' edition of the Bible and tells me that premarital sex is a sin

that's even hotter desu

kek

> at bookstore with friend
> pick up copy of The Second Sex
> qt at checkout counter
> "W-would you like a book?"
> "Uh yes, that was the plan."
> "Ah I mean- would you like a bag?"
> "Nah, I'm good."
> pay for book
> friend buys his book
> exeunt
> "She didn't ask me if I wanted a bag."
> mfw

eh.

assless girl detected

Fug

>being attracted to fatties

also this

>Not treating every conversation as a social-experiment and having the free will to say outlandish things such as "He is great, but that's beside the point. I'd like for us to fuck."

u are not the main character of life. you are pathetic
i hate you personally
i hope you die sooner than you want to die which is probably sooner than this very moment so i hope u are already dead by the time i say this

fuck you

>at bookstore
>pick out several books
>qt at counter
>"that will be $22.35, sir"
>only have $20 dollar bill
>face turns red
>run out of store without buying anything
>never go back
>have to drive 20 miles further to other store

>at bookstore
>pick up the sound and the fury
>qt at checkout counter
>she smells like trees
>"Oh hey, nice choice, isnt he great?"
>"Ah.. would you like a bag?"
>at home

pinterest.com/explore/librarian-style/

worth a look

Shoo, Satan.

you could probably cure cancer with that attitude. so why dont you?

where do i find librarians like that

Any girl has an ass when she bends over

asslet*

whereto find qt grill like this?

Church, probably.

asslette*

because you'll die sooner?

I bought a copy of the Second Sex because it was ridiculously cheap new, even though it's basically bullshit.

But the cashier was definitely wet. Her pheromones basically followed me to my car.

ahah
yeah
i remember that
>luckily i had my orthodox mormon/shaman license in my breast pocket, so i could just marry her on the spot as she was already sucking my dick
>i, user, take you, qt3.14, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part, i said, gently taping her forehead with the bible
>mid blowjob, she nodded yes
>you can now fuck the bride however you want, said a booming voice from behind the clouds
>*relief ejaculation*
>thanks, god

>at bookstore
>pick up latest meme classic
>qt at checkout counter
>"Oh hey, nice choice, isn't he great?"
>Uh, I don't know, I haven't read it yet.
>"Ah.. would you like a bag?"
>No thanks, I'm good
>"Have a nice day!"
>You too!
>goes home and reads

>at bookstore
>pick up latest Chomsky book
>qt at checkout counter
>"Oh hey, nice choice, isn't he great?"
>No, I'm only buying it so that I can pick it apart and expose his hypocrisy on an online image board
>she gets a fiery look in her eyes
>she whispers "why don't you come with me for a moment" in a husky voice
>we fuck for several hours in the staff bathroom

>at bookstore
>pick up latest meme classic
>qt at checkout counter
>"Oh hey, nice choice, isn't he great?"
>"I wouldn't know, I haven't read any of his stuff yet but I've heard good things about him. What do you think?"
>blahblahblah
>"Thanks for talking, user! Would you like a bag?"
>"No thanks, I'm good"
>go home, read

retarntles

Pathetic

is this really the best you can do? 10 years of memes on this fucking site and all you can do is an exact copy of what has been posted a million times already? drown yourself

>at book store
>pick up latest meme classic
>qt at checkout counter
>"what's that"
>"it's a forgotten masterpiece, you wouldn't know about it"
>step outside the store without a single word more and an air of hipsterims
>go home and fap furiously to the contour of her firm breasts under her philosopher's sweather
>get tfnogf after ejaculating in my cum bottle
>post angry rants about "vain females" on every board i can think off on a lithuanian skin scratching farm
>feel superior

Newfag.

Why not just put a book back, you autist?

>assless girl defense force

>at bookstore
>pick out several books
>qt at counter
>"that will be $22.35, sir"
>only have $20 dollar bill
>start searching every pocket
>"Oh well, looks like I forgot my wallet in the car. Would you put this one aside, I will be back in a minute"
>tfw I don't drive
>home is 5 miles away
>start running
>be back to see a different qt at counter
>my book is back at the shelf again
>leave

Whatever, I never cared for Steinbeck anyway.

>Go onto Veeky Forums
>Oh boy, maybe I'll find a cool new book to read!
>Maybe I'll have a passive aggressive discussion about a book I like!

>"Do you think women can understand philosophy?"
>"Do you think women have the ability to comprehend complex ideas?"
>"Why can't women read?"
>"How come women don't know anything about writing?"
>"Why are women so awful?"

You're all awful and embarrassing. I hate this place more every single day.

Toughen up buttercup, be the change that you wish to see on Veeky Forums.

>be the change that you wish to see on Veeky Forums.
>against a /r9k/ and /pol/ infestation

Would still gently hold her hand and look into her eyes though.

This man knows what's good.

>be me
>realise that bookshop qts bite lip wen you buy de beauvoir/feminist stuff
>work my way through large selection of lit over the course of two months
>spend about a third of my student loan
>"you always make such good choices user"
>t-thank you madam
>too beta to ever ask them out
>in my second year of university and this is still happening
>mfw

>be user
>such a cuck he reads shitty books to appease women
>doesn't get laid anyway

what a tale

There is no point to literature for boys if you're not gay.

Think about it - All straight boy lit is about coming to terms with regret. Every last drop of it. Because regret is inherent to the life of every dumb straight boy who thought he had any business reading literature.

it gets worse

>return to university for second term
>eyeing qt foreign student whose language I study
>she translates ts eliot into her obscure language
>realise she likes non YA lit
>this is unprecedented
>buy her collected works of obscure modernist poet
>keep it in my bag for two weeks until I bump into her bc too pussy to just find her and hand it over
>"e-er I got gifted this twice at christmas and I thought you might want the spare"
>her expression of gratitude is so beautiful I feel like crying
>get text two days later
>"really enjoying user this is so good xx"
>too anxious to respond
>too beta to ask her out
>a week later send her dull text about her essay topic
>no reply
>mfw

You are the world's greatest fag.
Please ask her out you dumb shit. Ask her to study, say you need someone who's fluent in her whatever language for a bit of help, even if you don't. Make sure you have a bit of extra time and grab a bite to eat after, go to a book store, something, anything.
And do it in person. Have some class. If it doesn't work out, whatever. Just please do something.
Also, Eliot is good shit. She's doing a service.
Oh, and what obscure modernist poet? Any good? Maybe you spooked her with your shit taste, kek

The poet was Basil Bunting, who is really worth reading. Briggflatts is the famous one but his Persian translations are some of the best around.

I'm a skinny 5ft tall manlet cuck. I don't have an ugly face and I wash regularly and dress well, but I'm about as attractive as a dead cat. I'm a pussy and my weirdness/high level of self-loathing will push her away like it has everyone else.

>The poet was Basil Bunting[...]
Thanks, I'll look into him.
>I'm a skinny 5ft tall manlet cuck. I don't have an ugly face and I wash regularly and dress well, but I'm about as attractive as a dead cat. I'm a pussy and my weirdness/high level of self-loathing will push her away like it has everyone else.
Maybe it would help if you weren't such a self-depreciating nerd. Most of the things you listed don't matter a lick if the person of interest is worth their salt.
As long as you're not hideous outside and vulgar inside and can hold a decent conversation with this girl on the middle ground you have (literature, that language), you've got something.
I don't know how you feel about this girl or what exactly your looking for here, but there's no harm in trying. Just don't assume too much. Be confident, let the conversation flow but don't forget yourself. Be cool. Even if you don't fuck her, at least you guys are better antiquated and you (hopeful both) had a good time. It could become something.
I know its said everything, but generally be yourself, at least where your strengths lie. Try not to be too weird, and have some confidence. Have fun talking about safer subjects and be respectful if you happen to disagree on something, but don't be afraid to engage a little.
Just get out there and have fun (kek). I hope it goes well if you decide to try something. Good luck boss.

There's a difference between an ass and two flat glutes with a brown asshole in between

what language is it?

fuck you sound like you're pretty well-adjusted. Good advice but I suspect I'll fuck it up somehow. thanks dude

kurdish

Everyone has a different opinion what is good/bad. Maybe you interest her. Be yourself, if you try to be someone else than yourself you've already lost.

>fuck you sound like you're pretty well-adjusted.
kek, I'm just a good pretender. I suspect I'm some kind of psychopath. I also have my vices and 'tisms.
>Good advice but I suspect I'll fuck it up somehow. thanks dude
No prob. I believe in you user. Nothin' to but to do it.

Why must anything a 4chin does be intertwined or climaxing into sex?

Reading books = Chance to get a book qt to fuck you

doing science = qt in the lab will be fucked by me

etc

It's fucking pathetic and it makes me sick to see how much creativity and precious board space it takes. There are /b/, /r9k/, and potentially /gif/ and /s/ in which you could spam this shit and get better interactions.

From an evolutionary point of view, men should be attracted to asses.

Kekk

Men ARE. Cucks just fuck whatever thet can (not).

It ain't no thing. Why rally against it here? Why not try to guide people innachan into better avenues with your wisdom?
Or are you just whining? I see plenty of anons making a case against this sort of thing. Anyways, isn't hedonism the way of the world these days?

Do they have to be Veeky Forums memes or do /pol/ memes count?

fuck her and report here, user
do it for us

They'll think I'm weird.

Running away while kicking off my flip-flops was the wiser choice.

>at bookstore
>pick up latest meme classic
>dudebro at counter
>"uh, ooh ooh *sniff* booga! booga!"
>y-yeah..
>place money on counter
>k-keep the change
>"ooga! RRRRaaawww!"
>Goes home and faps with own tears as lubricant

This post is weirdly motivating. Mind saying a few more things?

Gay

>not admitting the girls are just a proxy for qt traps with no asses
even gayer, take the redpill sweetie

>my 2nd year at uni
>have not spoken to any qt's
>even when i'm drawn into contact with others - usually for group work - I silently do what I'm told
It's just my nature. I'm lonely but I can't speak. Despite all of the time I spend reading, my verbal communication is so slow and ineffectual that I try and stick to nods and shakes of the head. Even in my daydreams, far removed from any source of pressure, it takes me minutes to come up with the right statements or replies. I ought to be a slave, or a servant; I'm not fit to live in a society where I have to provide for myself and interact with other humans in a productive, collaborative manner.

>in uni library reading Gravity's Rainbow
>girl approaches and says, "Pinecone, huh?"
>I manage to not only not stutter but also laugh and ask her what she thinks of him
>she sits down next to me and scoots close, looking at the book
>"How DO you pronounce it?"
>"Uh, Pinch-on," I say. "For the longest time I thought it was pinch-in, though."
>"Hmm," she says.
>At this point i'm thinking, whoa, 'here's a cute girl I've seen here and there, but had never known her to be literary. Fucking kickstart the conversation, man!'
>She puts a hand on the book. "Can I see it?" she says.
>"Uh, sure," I say, wondering if I should make a comment about my shitty error edition, but decide against it."
>She turns the book around in her hands, eying the spine and everything, losing my place on around page 200.
>"Pinecones, pinecones, what you do," she murmurs in a chant. "Pinecones, pinecones, how 'bout you'
>Before I can say anything she stands up with my book and walks away into the bookstacks
>I'm left speechless and I'm wondering if I should follow her
>Decide against it
>Never see her again
>Never see my book again
>mfw

>self-depreciating
>antiquated
lol

>assman

>tfw work at a bookstore
>tfw always ask people buying just one book "would you like a bag" out of habit

y-you too

Was Freud right????

>Buy Kafka's Metamorphosis
>qt at the counter says if I like this I should check out Ovid's version too
>Say thanks, leave
>Months later read Ovid's Metamorphoses
>Realise she had no idea what she was talking about

There are two types of countries in the world, countries that like boobs and countries with the largest economy and most powerful military in the world.

>at bookstore
>pick up a few books that were on my list
>guy at counter
>"you got some of the best stuff"
>I can detect a homosexual lisp
>"oh yeah?"
>he smiles at me
>smile back
>"thanks"
>feeling confused
>go home and tell this story to Veeky Forums

I really should start going

Me too. Do you have autism and manic depression as well? It sucks.

You can't gently tape someone's forehead with a Bible

prove it

Are you going to ask him out?

Autism, yes. Living this way does suck. In spite of that I wouldn't have it any other way. (self-deception, escapism, spirituality)
I hope you can still appreciate that the few comforts and pleasures of life we have access to. As I understand, depression numbs that, in which case you would have it even worse than I do.

>I suspect I'm some kind of psychopath.
Dude, please, just stop. Politeness is an indispensable social skill, not a sign of mental dysfunction.
What you have here is a next-level self-deprecating autism.
>Acting just to meet the expectations of other people must be some special kind of evil! I guess I'm some sort of social predator!
Don't be so fucking edgy. You are not a special snowflake.
Welcome to Normalfagland.

M-maybe later...

there's nothing gay about it

I'm confused, are you not supposed to do this?
because I'm always asked this- on occasion, someone will say something like "oh, you have a backpack", but nobody thinks this is weird.

Why are you so neurotic?

A NIGGER ON LIT AHAHAHA KEK

>at bookstore
>meet thomas pynchon
>snickers bars fall out of his pockets

Dude that girl was Pinecone

>pinecone is a girl

now i understand why he's such a hack

That post is so disappointing user

Ass is for gays

Off to the eunuch factory with you.