ITT: Authors you want to punch in the face

ITT: Authors you want to punch in the face.

im sad he never made his sword fighting simulator game.

i'm sad that he hasn't released the sequel to "Seveneves".

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S FINISHED?

NO IT ISN'T! IT JUST STOPPED!

FINISH IT! STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH GREG BEAR AND THAT FUCKING STUPID MONGOLIAD!

The guy who wrote my diary, desu.

funny, i want to punch that guy in the face, too.

a lot.

>But before we move on, dear reader, I'd like to take a chapter to browbeat you with this idea I have and why I'm a fucking genius for having it.

i haven't read seveneves but i imagine it ends like all of his books and by that i mean terribly? he can't write an ending to save his life.

this is why i just stopped at necronomicon.
holy fuck what a disaster

Seveneves has a lot of great ideas, but.. as i said, it just stopped. if i hadn't been reading a paper version at the time i would have suspected a truncated file.

The Diamond Age was good you pleb

describe the ending. what happened, and why?

> dis gon be gud

I want to pull his beard so bad

What is "wrong" with him?

when he wrote Cryptonomicon, he did a ton of research on the cable-laying business. then he wrote an article for Wired about it. the sidebar - where they usually have the author's contact details - said "Neal Stephenson lives in (wherever), and he doesn't particularly want to hear from you."

i get the feeling he doesn't respect anyone who hasn't written their own operating system.

> penix

J.J. Rousseau in his Nouvelle, and in his Confessions..

I want to beat agatha christie to death on a train

i would also punch any author that is an old white man

Any author that is a woman

John Scalzi is just a cunt. I really dislike him as a person.

Even though I like some of his work, I hate his smug face.

All the shit he wrote about Linux was basically sci-fi from the perspective of someone who has seen the terminal used by someone for five minutes

What's the deal with all the bald bearded trashy authors?

not him but I read it a while ago and I seem to remember a bunch of not-Boxer chinks rebelling and kicking out all the neo-victorians and one of the people saying 'well... I-I prefer Indian Tea anyways!'

It's the only Stephenson book I've read and 2bh I don't want to read any of his others if they're like The Diamond Age

I think he deserves the smugness, it's not often you write a book that anally anguishes the entire muslim world to the point they issue a fatwa against you and you survive it.

Stephen "Six Million More" King

Fucking Gaskun

you should at least give Seveneves a try, if for no better reason that the space cannibals. holy fuck, i wanted Julia to die. but she didn't.

funny thing is.. i've read the Satanic Verses, and there isn't much in there to get upset about.

William Burroughs wrote much worse about Mohammed, but they didn't come after HIM.. because he was a gun enthusiast. either that or none of the durkas ever got that far into The Naked Lunch.

"Mohammed? Are you kidding? He was dreamed up by the Mecca Chamber of Commerce. An Egyptian ad man on the skids from the sauce write the continuity. " 'I'll have one more, Gus. Then, by Allah, I will go home and receive a Surah.... Wait'll the morning edition hits the souks. I am blasting Amalgamated Images wide open.'

"The bartender looks up from his racing form.

'Yeah. And theirs will be a painful doom.'

" 'Oh... uh... quite. Now, Gus, I'll write you a check.'

"'You are only being the most notorious paper hanger in Greater Mecca. I am not a wall, Mr. Mohammed.'

" 'Well, Gus, I got like two types publicity, favorable and otherwise. You want some otherwise already? I am subject to receive a Surah concerning bartenders who extendeth not credit to those in a needy way.'

" 'And theirs will be a painful doom. Sold Arabia.' He vaults over the bar. 'I'm not taking any more, Ahmed. Pick up thy Surahs and walk. In fact, I'll help you. And stay out.'

"'I'll fix your wagon good, you unbelieving cock-sucker. I'll close you up tight and dry as a junky's ass- hole. I'll by Allah dry up the Peninsula.'

Burroughs wasn't a Muslim you spastic

.. I didn't say he was, you etiolated sack of shit.

This one for her retarded pseudo-philosophical theories

Most of the authors here already look like they get punched in the face on a daily basis. Why does ugliness make people so aggressive?

naturally. and look at that quote, why does anyone like this pedophile?

kek. He does look punchable.

read his essay "In the beginning was the command line", and you might change your mind about that.

but, yeah, i'd be afraid to go near him until i got a few of my shitty sf novels published.

The fact that Judith Butler held the Spinoza chair of the philosophy department at Amsterdam makes me a pretty peeved boy

The fact that Judith Butler held the Spinoza philosophy chair at Amsterdam makes me a very unhappy boy

>dat edit
>dat realization that what people edit out tells more about themselves than what they actually say

Gabriele D'Annunzio, but he would have stabbed me in response, probably.

>I want to resort to physical violence against someone for not being what I like

wew lad

>not having the desire, every once in a while, to punch a punchable face
Stop lying to yourself. It is natural, and it is okay as long as you don't actually do it.

More like that moment when I am trying to figure out how to post on mobile so I can sit outside and smoke and smoke a boge while still expressing my frustration at her meteoritic rise through academia

what's with all the elaborate descriptions of the architecture of their space stations? Fuck, I don't care

Don't pretend you're not impressed with my vast knowledge. Did you know that my undergraduate degree includes a minor.....IN PHYSICS?

...

This 1,000 times.

I hate this SJW Heinlein rip-off

he wrote the best cyberpunk novel and is a pretty good scifi writer fuck off neckbeards

i can't write for shit, but sometimes people want to punch me in the face desu