What are you passionate about, and when did you realize it?

>what is NAT
your wet dreams are silly

I'm passionate aboutdeath. This is the truth. I love death in all it's various forms. But there are some i love more than others. I do love for example the beautiful death. The heroic death. The death as suicide, though not every kind of suicide. I love particularly japanese notions of death, which I have gotten to know through Mishima. He recites Rilke and before i read him I also refered to Rilke, his musings on death in the diarys of Malte. A beautiful book no? Very very beautiful, one of my favourites. I don't know anything about Rilke. I know he was fascinated by Nietzsche, and knew Lou Salome, and that he was in Paris and that he wrote Poetry. I know what he looks like. And of course i know something about him by reading his one novel. And yet i do not know him the way i know Mishima or Kafka or so. But does that matter? I am obsessedw ith death, why? I would like to say that this is not everything i have to say. I also love life. Moreso than death even. So why did i not say my great passon was life? Because i can not live out my passion. Because i am like a caged bird, with the tragic twist that the cage is open and that i ave grown to scared to leave it. Writing this i guess i could say that my really greatest passion is fear. Fear accompanies me everywhere. It is a fear of giving oneself up, a fear of adaption, a fear of accenptance and rejection, a fear of failure, a fear of being amoral, a fear of uglyness, a fear of life and death, a fear of mysef and of others, of the system and of my fear of the system. It is a fear of unboundedness. A fear of Aliens who have implanted microchips in my brain. A fear spiritual emptyness. A fear of being all wrong and of being half wrong. A fear of wasting time. A fear of listing up all the fears that spontaenously come to my mind. Fear is my greatest passion. Fear of Life equals Fear of Death? Nobody would say that. For me it is true though, insofar that i fear to fear my life until i die and that i won't have lived fearless before i die.

I feel like mimicking David Foster Walace. Does this make any sense? This is all going to get cut out right= Yeah.... Yeah cool tshirt bro is that a fucking fucking dog in your sleeping room. And but so the author wondered whether this stylistic experiment could be lead to it's conclusion which is that i am here regardless of what i say. That i am physical that i am material. I am disposable. And Insane. I am in the most liberal sense, a white straight CIS male. I lied, i'm only half straight. It's complicated.

I am not running out of things to say, for example i believe that video games need a great theory. A grand and great theory that introduces it into the philosophical realm. An aesthetic theory. All this pomo american analysis stuff is too academical, it lacks vision and eye . I'm lying, ihaven't read a single book about video game theory. But i'm reading Balasz book on films, and if you exchange "film" with "vidya" in the intro it would fit perfectly

Neither of the application that use the internet require IP, specifically. The layers of the OSI model are independent of each other. You could send HTTP packets directly over ethernet if both parties were aware of it.

The internet is a cluster of intranets. There is no requirement about how the intranets are implemented as long as they can talk to each other through a bilingual gateway.

history, always have been.

This, and paleontology along with books and children's card games. Also music, just listening though I have no interest in composing.

i am passionate about those whom i love

I don't have any. Life wasn't meant to spent on one passion.

Destroying theism when I turned 30.

>You can send HTTP packets over Ethernet
Quite right. But you need a destination for that packet which is usually an IP and a port.

Reading when I was 10; books when I was 14. Also, now that I'm a father, I want to be as decent a parent as I can.

Physics, literature and history since I was very young. All come from a rule we had at home: the only activity other than sleeping allowed after bedtime is reading. I'm 32 years old so no cellphones or computers when I was a kid. My mom was a physics professor so there was material in the house. Literature gave me Homer and Homer gave me history.
When I turned 18 I got a VHS that actually worked (the one we had was crap) and I soon discovered real cinema. The ending scene of City Lights made me realize how powerful a movie can be. Since then I'm a cinema freak.
At 22 I discovered a fervent passion for teaching and this is what I do for a living.
Music is something I can't count as a passion because is just part of me. My mom played de piano, my father the cello. I never played shit but I feel like I'd die from sadness without music. You can take anything from me but music.
It took me many years to learn to enjoy all of these together. The feeling that 24 hours a day for an average of 75 years is too little oppressed me for the most part of my life. I'm glad that is over.

I'm kinda still finding out. All my life I've been into technology and guitar, but at around 16 I got deep into classical music, basically spent every day doing nothing but listening to the shit, from ockeghem to cage and everything in-between. If anyone remembers that youtube channel magischmeisjeorkest, I used to love that shit before it got deleted, something about classical music and anime, I liked that aesthetic. During that time I got interested in philosophy, particularly scholastic philosophy. At age 17 I started playing viola, and at 18 moved to violin, I learned the partita no.2 for solo violin by bach in full, and saint-saens introduction and rondo capriccioso which I think I'm able to play to a decent enough standard.
I was home schooled most of my life, only attending public school up until the end of the 2nd grade. I'm 19 now and entering community college, planning to transfer to UW for computer engineering, but also doubtful about abandoning music. Lately I've been into zizek, hegel, marx, socialism etc. Not necessarily because I advocate or agree with them, but because I think there's something that they missed or failed to attain to which I call Catholic socialism (not 'Christian socialism').
I'm also pretty interested in the relationship between ontology and quantum theory, I think that with one or two more swings of the dialectical pendulum we might make a groundbreaking discovery in philosophy, thus reconciling the universal with the particular and marking the beginning of a new golden era of mankind, which in some albeit confused sense may have been the case during the carolingian renaissance.

The truth

wow, I'm transferring to UW for computer science next year after I complete my AA at my current community college. small world.

i don't fckking know

>The feeling that 24 hours a day for an average of 75 years is too little oppressed me for the most part of my life.
How the flying fuck does anyone have this mindset? Do you just feel euphoria as a base state?

u must get mad puusy white boy

Actually I'm a kissless hugless virgin.

I'm genuinely 'passionate' about anime. It's hard to explain without seeming to contradict myself.

I'm disgusted by intellectualism and all other forms of arm-chairery.
The only thing worse than intellectualism is flowery sentimentalism. When I was a teenager, I loved romanticism. Now, I see why Goethe tried his hardest to distance himself from Werter.

I feel I would be better off in an Anabaptist settlement.
>Homer gave me history
No he didn't. Oral tradition doesn't work that way.

Absolute pseud.

I'm "passionate" about making a lot of money and I realized this around the time I realized I have no personality, goals, or aspirations.

what does lit do when it turns out all your calculations were wrong

Nothing.

that's what poors never understand about protestant mother fuckers who love to work and stack paper, THAT is their passion, they love it!

Calculate anew, it's wrong to think in terms of calculation and result, there is no payout in life, there's only the eternal pulling of the lever in superfluous self-imparting passion; sink into the noise of reality to be free from the awkward hesitation of the self.
In my opinion desu.

Nothing is fun to me besides seeing my bank account have a bigger number every week. I wish it was for some spiritual reason like because I believe anything other than hard work is a sin or something interesting but truly I just enjoy accumulating wealth. I manipulated to Animal Crossing turnip stock market as a kid. That's the closest I've come to a hobby.

Beauty - ever since I first looked in the mirror.

the concept of Home as a spiritual ideal

the forms, the space, the shape of a lost memory of a garden - THE place, where all fleeting glimpses of bliss converge to paint a full picture, laced with all the senses, electric colors, and implied beyond the boundary of the aclove, a whole world waiting to be explored that is the perfect extension of your absolute longing

stop using a calculator to learn about life

zero faith in your ability to follow through with what you know are smoldering enthusiasms. we all have them, its a matter of exploring uncertainty to gain greater clarity, which you are doing

I like you

Nothing. Maybe suicide. Years ago.

overload of realness w/ these digits

...

Do you guys have any recommendations for how I can learn about this stuff? Books I should read? I can pick things up pretty quickly, and have taken a few intro CS courses in college, but don't have any formal education in it

Start with the fucking wikipedia and follow the links as you encounter complex topics, as usual.

*reads poetics of space once*

I haven't but I plan to.
If that's what its about then fuck me im bumping it to the top of the next to read

I feel like that's not formulaic enough -- how will I know if I've covered all the important bases, for example?

Since you won't study it in depth anyway, this way you will at least get a general idea. IT is not that complex of a field to require a formal education to truly grasp.

whatch some computer science classes on youtube, god if you're that helpless you probably won't make it in tech, technology is all about teaching yourself shit normies are too lazy to, this applies whether u have a bunch of hifalutin degrees or are just the proverbial "400 lb guy in a basement"

I did.

Yes he did. Through him I discovered I wanted to know about shot that happened you know? I was a kid.

Scuba diving.

>Firearms
Basically all my life, maybe started at 3 or 4 when I seen my grandfather's rifles/shotguns on the wall, or it could have been when I got 007 Goldeneye around the year 2000.

>Writing
Around 2003, however when I started writing books Summer last year I found a passion in writing that I never knew I had. I love it. I will be writing and publishing books for as long as I live, and it will provide me a quality of life that probably no other profession could give me, even if all I ever manage from it is to pay rent/the bills, put food on the table, and feed ammo to my firearms once in a while.

>Alcohol
2011 or so, but 2013 is when I really got into it.

>Cannabis legalization
2008

>Zombie survival
2004-5 or so

>Reading
Probably around 2002 or so with the Harry Potter series, but 2012 is when I really started reading. One downside of writing; I no longer have much time to read anymore. Been picking away at a pretty small book yet it's taking me almost half a year to finish up.

>Reloading ammo
About 2009-10 or so. Can describe the process if anyone's interested, it's actually in one of my books, all of which are free for the next couple days.

>Landing on Mars
1999-2000 or so. It was something I wanted to do as a little kid, but not really anymore. Imma stay on Erf.

The quads are telling you to find a hobby.

I used to think I was passionate about many things, but I don't know anymore. Its seems to keep alluding me when I try to recapture it.
Life feels like I'm banging my head against a wall.

Intimacy; a few weeks ago

Where do you live?

Pussy. Childhood.

I am not passionate about anything, but I have managed to sustain an interest in philosophy and literature for many years. I consider passion to be an effeminate and mediterranean/third world trait.

I thought it was medieval history but now that I'm doing a masters in it I've realised I have a really poor level of knowledge in it.

Self determinism
I have no power

them DIGITTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I'm interested in the reloading method. What was it that made you passionate about it? Did it tie into the firearms interest? Is it just a cathartic process?

>Free books
>FREE

POST LINK NOW

I'm really passionate about chronic masturbation.

No idea.

>Yes he did. Through him I discovered I wanted to know about shot that happened you know?
Can't you form a coherent sentence?

>Video Games
Age 5
>Literature
Age 20 - I've always been a reader, but I only got serious about "literature" during my 3rd year of uni.

drinking beer listening to music and masturbating at the same time is the only thing I enjoy doing anymore

I look at my bookshelf and think of how I used to love reading all that stuff and I get sad.

>I'm disgusted by intellectualism
Can you elaborate on this? I'm only asking because I think I feel the same way.

Talking to an imaginary audience and saving every original thought to notepad

Two years ago

Aggrandizing my palaver.

Anarchist Socialism

About two years ago I learned to call it by name, but it's been very important to me as long as I can remmeber

I haven't found any passion

Poetry. I've realized it after reading poetry. After reading Rimbaud, Miljkovic (pic), and Mallarme. I realized, I wanted to be free, and want to be free of the chains of language and give myself to sense and feeling and musicality of words -- aka poetry.

forgot pic

I realized my passion is in the Arts such as Literature, Painting, and Music. In addition, Learning constantly I always find interesting and Creation of Something gives me satisfaction.

:(

Gay scat porn, right now.

Reaching a dreaded point where I have exhausted all my interests as being dead ends ruined by my incompatibility, intolerance and unwillingness to bear other people in order to pursue my interests, past the point of passionate misanthropy too, now I am only passionate about roaming the countryside and forests aimlessly enjoying nature and reading Nietzsche and others in no man's land. I start one project and when the slightest imperfection presents itself all my will dissipates as it gnaws through my crumbled fortitude with ease.

One thing in the past that I was very passionate other than art was running, I was really into it, then I was getting more and more into poetry and music, which led me to Buddhism. After around two years of being passionate about Buddhism I got back into literature and art (I was still into it when I was a Buddhist, but I was moslty into Buddhist art then). Now I'm rather passionate about art, I draw and when I'll have more time and get better at drawing I'll start painting, listen to music and read. Other than that, I just love to walk, walk and think, walk and look at everything, at nature, at buildings, at people.

Study of religion and Asian languages
Freshman year of uni for the former, sophomore for the latter

Could you people be any more pretentious if you tried?

I was being derogatory on my own account?
Do you struggle with uncommon words or something?

what's so pretentious about drawing and walking?

goddamn I'm envious of you user

HAPPY TRAILS!

those are some interesting interests, user!

Absolutely nothing. The only reason I come to Veeky Forums instead of /r9k/ is that the latter was filling me with homicidal rage, and Veeky Forums was the last place I visited before I went to /r9k/ (the last thing I saw before things fell apart).

I don't like reading, or writing, or music, or films, or video-games, or any form of art. I'm not interested in philosophy, or history, or religion or anything like that. I'm not interested in any of the sciences or the various branches of mathematics or computer science. I'm even lazy and detached when it comes to sex and love, which are the only things that, sometimes, I succeed in persuading myself that I want. Needless to say, however, (as with all other things) my lack of action betrays a total lack of motivation.

I want, more than anything else, to be swallowed up by a passion, to be totally consumed by it to the point that I can utterly lose myself in it. All I want is to WANT something. To find a job that you enjoy, and to find a partner. Those are the two things everybody needs.. and I feel like I'm too lost to find either one.

Apologies for the frogposting. I prefer Wojak, but I can't find any pics of him where he's making this expression.

To anyone who's read this far--how did YOU find your passions and interests? Did you have to search for them, or did they just fall on you?

Surely there was something you enjoyed doing during childhood and adolescence

Start there and ask yourself why you enjoyed those activities. That's the root of your passion. From there you can find other activities that have the same root and try them without stopping for 31 days. After the 31 days you can decide if you want to continue or try another

>the last place I visited before I went to /r9k/ (the last thing I saw before things fell apart).

you are like the sufferer of a nervous illness who returns many years later to the institution which last treated him

be at peace my friend

You might be depressed?

Otherwise this is incomprehensible to me, literally everything is interesting to some degree.

i used to have an aversion to posts like this because it'd make me feel like shit (and envious) for being a dumb, lazy, older piece of shit, but now I'm forcing myself to hopefully awaken something in me.

anyone know this feel?

I'm sort of similar. I enjoy many activities but there are none I feel I could really dedicate my life towards. There are some things like literature and romance that I can pretend to love for extended times, but I get bored with them too after a while.

Yes. Envy is a very tempting emotion, but it's like really BAD if you think about it.

For a long time, seeing happy people really pissed me off. But I've since realized how dumb that is. It should make me happy. Maybe all men are brothers, maybe we don't have to go so far. But being happy for someone is free. Like Jesus' parable of the workers who are hired at different times of the day. No need for spite.

And you also don't really need to feel bad for being worse. Everyone dumps their stats into a different thing, and while the goodness of a THING is a good standard by which we can determine its usefulness, people are not judged by the same standards, as they can always improve.

not who you replied to but

>tfw you had no interests as a child
>tfw my mother told me that i was markedly different from my siblings for the reason that it was noticeable that i didn't have any curiosity or interest in anything

i have vague interests in philosophy, biology, film, etc. these are things that i'm drawn to and would like to learn about but there's no passion that i can do for 12 hours a day and lose track of time doing. i've read some short stories and essays before and enjoyed it but its nothing consistent, but i use the fact that i have enjoyed them in the past to keep me reading, learning, etc. every day..

just gotta overcome apathy and i'll probably be better for it

know some basic german and arabic, a good amount of french, so i guess i have some interest in language but no passion... feelsbad! i even make sure to be disciplined and go rockclimbing and exercise and eat well and all this gay shit but no passion! Sad!

Purity, ever since I tried lard.

While I find many things interesting, nothing inspires passion anymore. When I was younger I loved to draw.

lol

>And you also don't really need to feel bad for being worse.
it's not really that, it's the feeling of regret and wasted time.

I should've at least been at this level of maturity in high school, instead I didn't do much of anything at all, socially nor academically. I've been emotionally and intellectually stunted up until only recently.

It sounds blunt and cruel, but wasted time is wasted time. It no longer exists. The only way to heal it is to live better moving forward (much easier said than done!).