What's the hardest you've ever laughed Veeky Forums?

>be me, Richard Wagner
>Nietzsche comes to Bayreuth to spend some time with me and Cosima
>dining with him and my sweet aryan daughters
>he suddenly gets quiet and hands me a sheet of paper
>look at it
>it's a piano composition
>literally the most amateurish composition I've seen in the last 20 years
>cry with laughter
>Nietzsche get offended and start muttering stuff about how Germany and Christianity sucks
>I laugh even more, so much that I have to leave the room

>tfw Nietzsche got so offended that he wrote 4 essays about me and even wrote 2 out of 10 chapters in his autobiography, all about slandering me and my celestial music (which the King himself loves!)

He really should stop masturbating.

A couple buddies and I were high as fuck on heroin one night nodding out on the couch and watching infomercials.
There was one about some piece of plastic that you lay on to fix your back and another one about some lawn mower that you did a judo kick on and it turned into a weed eater.
In between nods someone would crack a joke for 4 hours and was the hardest I've ever laughed.

Is heroin not as addictive as I've been lad to believe?

A christian moralist and a nietszchian walk into a bar,

After giving the bartender a bottle of wine in exchange for a few coins the nietszchian relaxes into his chair, the bartender then goes over to the christian moralist and looks at him expectedly.

The christian moralist was taken aback, embarrassed and looking down, he replied "S-Sorry, I kant...". Humiliated, he quickly runs out of the bar, with his pockets full of coins rustling as he left.

worse desu

Can you take it once?

Try it and find out

Maybe when you're 80-90.
If you're under 50 it's definetely not worth it, desu

The first thing that came to mind was a line in The Corrections. It was just "Always fucking Paraguay" or sth and I had to set the book down I laughed so hard.

>laughing
pleb

Wait, is this real? Did it actually happen?

Depends on your personality / existing habits. I tried it once and it was fabulous but I just stick to like Percs bc death isn't worth just like a 40% better high.

On phone so I won't elaborate but playing online video games for the first time with a friend and remarking on how cool it would be if the in game avatars mouths moved in accordance with speaking in to the headset. We just kept laughing and saying "What if their mouths moved?!?" We were baked out of our mind.

>Death isn't worth a 40% better high

Positively plebian.

>risking to get addicted to heroin in your 20s

That's basically natural selection, you dumb risk-lover pleb.

>oh no, whatever will I do without my middle-class meme life, wife and 1.5 kids

Keep plebbin'

More like.

>I'd rather not orient my entire life around doing heroin.

I haven't talked about being straight-edge, I'm talking about staying away from those drugs that will most likely ruin you, at least in your formative years.
Call me a pleb, but you can get almost insane with weed, LSD, occasional alcohol, DMT, Ketamine, etc., to an extent where you're obviously not being moderate and boring (in fact there is almost nothing that can match the drugs that I've just mentioned, which are infinitely easier to manage than heroin).
Keep the hard drugs for your senility, ruin yourself when you will be already ruined by nature. This is what I'm saying.

The way you talk about drugs shows that you're extremely inexperienced. Please stick to commenting on what you know about.

I know for a fact that I'm not. Expand on this.

>in fact there is almost nothing that can match the drugs that I've just mentioned
Lad . . .

I'd always thought that they were something that everybody understood intuitively without ever officially giving a name to, but the first time I tried to explain to somebody (a friend) what 'chesty banana coughs' were, he just looked at me like I was retarded and repeated the phrase inquisitively.
"Like what happens when you eat a perfectly ripe, A+ banana."
...
"An A-plana."
...
So I gave an example; held my chest and said: "uh. uh."
Anyway, I couldn't tell if he starting laughing because I was talking like a lunatic; like I thought there was this universally known ranking system and set terminology for the act and experience of banana consumption, or because in that instant, he really thought there was, and that he had somehow managed to avoid it all his life, but when he laughed, it was the most pure, infectious laughter I've ever heard, and the banana coughs got joined in by my own cackles, and we both were gasping for breath and unable to function in the kind of way you only seem to witness in fiction.

If it was supposed to be a literary example, then probably the part in The Guermantes Way when M. Swann is running around with the big envelope.

>Expand on this

You write like a memer.

When I was a kid this scene had me and my friends fucking dying.
youtube.com/watch?v=_SKdN1xQBjk

>Lad . . .
What in your sober life can beat candyflipping? Literally nothing. Either you rise the bar too high with hard drugs or it remains a completely alien and blissful experience.
And since you're talking about rising the bar with the dumbest and least interesting drug there is (heroin) my point stands.

You can have a filled with extremely intense drug experiences that won't ruin you and keep the hard ones for when your body and brain will be shit, or you can be a retard and take heroin in your 20s, devaluing every other possible experience and (statistically) ruin your life.

I'm right and you know it.

Is this the best you've got? Do you really think that ''Expand on this'' is a meme?
You fucking retard.

>candyflipping

Memer faggot confirmed.

Fuck you.

I don't find it as funny now but I apologize for nothing.

t. guy who raised the bar too high
Enjoy your loss of coherence in the next 5 years, my friend. I'll maybe throw a coin in your hat when I'll find you begging in the streets :)

I work at a call centre and I was sitting beside my friend talking when he gets a call. He had to transfer it over to another department so he had to give that department the account number for the customer. But mid-sentence he cleared his throat which made an unholy Lovecraftian noise like this

>The account number is UAAAGGGGKKKHH 12345

desu i laughed the hardest in my life to this video

youtube.com/watch?v=4hOcI-q3vLo

there's something so slapstick about it.
then i read the comments and laughed thrice as hard.

I saved it on my usb and i watch it like 30 times a week and crack up every time. It always puts me in a good mood lol

You do sound like a faggot, but the mere mention of the word "candyflipping" makes me want to hunt down a greasy, rich Italian undergrad, rob his molly and acid, then smoke two packs of cigarettes like I used to. Used to candyflip and smoke like a fiend, not rob Italians.

All the other shit is nonsense, but candyflipping was probably the best experience with drugs I've had in my life. Only ever had one good acid trip, though: the rest were nightmarish.

There was a sketch in a minor Louis CK show in which he was talking about his daughter saying random shit. At some point he says that she has said him, out of the blue, ''Indian Beauty''. That's it.
It had me laughing for at least 5 minutes.

>What in your sober life can beat candyflipping?
Being in love or that moment when a plan perfectly comes together.

Everyday my cheeks hurt more and more. My friends and I are the most absurd people you'll see in public. We once got into a three way two year long argument on why the terminator franchise makes no sense which after the second year directly changed to a argument on the ability to gain wealth in ancient Sumer. (to gain 70 pounds of silver back then you would need a barley farm the size of Belgium)

Fuck off, you're the one unexperienced here.

>You do sound like a faggot
I'm just being a realist here. There are certain drugs that should be avoided in the best years of your life, especially when you consider that there are lots of safe combos that won't fuck up your body and brain and that won't leave you addicted to it for decades.

>All the other shit is nonsense
What is nonsense?

>Fuck off, you're the one unexperienced here.
I'm not. I've candyflipped before but there are sober experiences that unironically better than drugs.

Did someone say worldstar in the beginning?

The cop saying "Hey big boy" at the start
The way the EMT walks toward the corpse apprehensively, the way the other emergency responders crowd around him and just stand there as if to say, "Yup, he's fucking dead."

Although the jump itself was too well choreographed for me to find funny

Cringe and tip hat

Stop arguing about drugs you fucking faggots, no one cares.

>I'm not. I've candyflipped before but there are sober experiences that unironically better than drugs.
Stop lying, everyone who has candyflipped can see through it.

>I don't know how to have fun with my peers.

You're from Bulgaria or someplace weird like that I can tell

>Stop lying
Lad, it's not my fault your life isn't as fulfilling as mine.

>his life is so fulfilling that his brain, every once in a while, can mimic the effect of MDMA with the same, sheer intensity
You may have a brain tumor

>muh brain chemicals

Found the autist

I didn't say it mimics it, I said it's better.

>aknowledging the material world means that you're a sperg

Yeah, you should get checked my friend.

Canada is weird to you?

DUDE DRUGS ARE THE ONLY WAY TO EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS LMAO
I seriously feel sorry for you, my man.

Too bad that I haven't said that.
Nice reading comprehension.

Don't fret, lad. Just read this guy and soon you too can start living life to the max.

>tfw people who have never tried MDMA keep telling me that that experience is available while sober
It's as dumb as me saying that being in love is just like being on heroin :) :) :)
It literally won't ever happen, which is fine since it is a satisfactory experience that don't overshadow your sober life through addiction and obsession.

>tfw people who have never tried MDMA keep telling me that that experience is available while sober
That's not what I said. I said it's possible to have experiences that are even more enjoyable than MDMA whilst sober.

Which is true. MDMA is good, but it's far from the ultimate fun.

>>tfw people who have never tried MDMA keep telling me that that experience is available while sober
That's not really what they're saying, user.

kek, literally the same argument happened in a Gass thread about two weeks ago.

The problem is, on Veeky Forums you can copy and paste others' descriptions of what it's like to be on molly. You can fake having had the experience.

I seriously miss being able to watch a fire and feel mentally like I'm having the best sex of my life. Like all of the pores and nerve endings in my skin are putting out tendrils

>That's not really what they're saying, user.
Sorry, they said that you can experience something that is better than MDMA.

>That's not what I said. I said it's possible to have experiences that are even more enjoyable than MDMA whilst sober.
At best I could say that you can have more meaningful experiences while sober, which s a completely different argument.
That, by the way, was implied by the fact that I've never said that life without MDMA is not worth living, nor have I said that these drugs should become a habit (in fact I've said te opposite).

>kek, literally the same argument happened in a Gass thread about two weeks ago.
What happened was that Gass described something that had nothing to do with molly, then and user said "spoken like someone who has never been on mdma" thinking Gass was talking about being on mdma. Or maybe he just wanted to say mdma was better than what Gass was talking about. Either way, the comment was unwarranted and anons rightfully called him retarded.

I've never taken mdma. Can you compare it something? Jumping from a great height, drinking a thousand bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits? Anything?

>At best I could say that you can have more meaningful experiences while sober, which s a completely different argument.
Well in that sense "better" is entirely subjective isn't it?

But I'd say you can't properly discuss what is better or worse whilst ignoring more abstract dimensions of the experience like meaning and fulfilment which are just as much a part of living as pure sensory input if not more so.

Neither. It was a joke about the fact that someone having great sex as Gass described it would be indistinguishable from somebody on molly if taken out of the physical circumstances of the sex: the pupil dilation, the "surrender of ego," etc. It was more about how similar they are than anything, hence the irony.

I'm touched it upset you enough to remember it.

>Can you compare it something?
Honestly? No.

>Well in that sense "better" is entirely subjective isn't it?
It may be subjective to you, but when it comes to pleasure, entertainment and sensibility there is nothing in the sober world that can possibly match MDMA.
It's a complete, self-contained experience that is not linked in any way to the human experience.

Also keep in mind that I made this point earlier to justify ignoring heroin in your 20s-30s-40s-any age in which your body and brain still function properly
It wasn't an attack on human life.

Also, I forgot to say, Nietzsche praised for his entre life the merits of sedatives and opioids (and as far as we know he has also dabbled with a few delyrants).
Stop picturing Nietzsche as a straight-edge guy.

Either you don't remember correctly or you made a typo. I remember because you sounded fucking stupid.
Says exactly:
>Spoken like someone who has never taken mdma. He gets the pupils right, but that's about it.

>but when it comes to pleasure, entertainment and sensibility there is nothing in the sober world that can possibly match MDMA.
There is though. And you'll realize what I'm telling you is the truth when you find it.

>Stop picturing Nietzsche as a straight-edge guy.
I know he wasn't, and I'm not advocating for a straight-edge life. I'm encouraging you to realize that drugs aren't the end-all be-all of experiences, there are sober experiences that are just as good if not better than MDMA.

was your teacher john cleese

>I remember because it made me angry

I wouldn't have said that if it didn't remind me of -- mdma. That's what irony is.

Top tier banter coming out of both ends.

Kek'd and checked

I dropped a bottle of vodka during the shakes and genuinely laughed like a mad man until I passed out from lack of oxygen. The 2 packs if smokes erryday contributed.

The Norm Macdonald track "Tex Hooper"

>go to a birthday of a friend of mine
>other friend ask for smoke weed before the party
>yolo
>in the party decide to watch movie
>everybody in silence
>weed friend look at me and i started to laugh for no reason
>everybody looking at me and start to laugh
>them only i still laughing
>akward silence during the movie
damn

youtube.com/watch?v=QnkrL42R7gk

I forgot but it was probably over something really stupid

got stoned, started eating nutella out of a jar with my hands not realizing what I was doing till my friend let me know. Had nutella all over my hands.

thought I was gonna die from lack of oxygen desu

This

Also watching Danshi .. Nichijou (I don't know the whole title)

It loses it's magic after some tries, even when you take 2-3 month pauses

I'm 95% sure it was poop joke

Fucking obviously

The way molly affects your brain (dumping all the feelgood chemcals youve been producing amd storing at once) you need MANY months to recover before doing it again

Taking it more than 2 maybe 3 times a year is retarded

Dam boi
DAM

Nope

>laughing is pathological
You got spooked, boy.

>them only I still laughing
Learn to fucking write.

This is the worst fucking thread, btw everyone.

As far as I know Wagner at least told Nietzshce his compositions sucked

Here's a good tip: If you want to take hard drugs do it on festivals, so you dont get used to it

You're retarded
At that age your body cant take the shit

Actually in hospitals all over the planet people that age are basically taking it and have been doing so for like 200 years.

Benzodiazepines =/= heroin
Opium =/= heroin

5-6 years ago, it was insomnia and alcohol-induced, over an old custom map for Warcraft 3
One of the characters had such absurdly stupid animations that I couldn't hold onto myself

i hope you don't really talk like that