*blocks your path*

ruuude

>Largest coffee
What a disgusting animal

This katana has been forged in the fires of Japan, with steel folded in excess of 1000 times and honed by trained samurai.

I am trained in the art of the blade. Are you sure you want to challenge me?

Heh, you have no idea who you're dealing with.

Move. Now.

>Fetal alchohol syndrome kicks in
>curbstomps the roach against the lowest shelf
>leave the mess to the janitor
Careful what you say to strangers, kids!

Still a saber, dork

>The size of that coffee

It's mostly all fucking water.

where did you get this picture of me

The abyss

Underrated post.

That... Is your LAST mistake.

*teleports past her*

*looks over shoulder*

Heh, maybe next time kiddo...

*walks to the Religion section and moves the books to the Fiction section*

fuck you i will drink a vat, a fucking silo full of coffee if i so wish

go be a pussy and drink tea in a dainty tea cup for book wankers

>caffeine cucks

heh, sorry I had to do this to ya

holy kek
t. heavy green tea consumer

You know what's funny; my dad actually put a bible in the fiction section at some bookstore. I didn't think to post about it 'til now, but I tried not to laugh at him when he told me.

Best post in the thread.

Lemme get to the gaming and graphic novels section, fucking wench. REEEEE

choked and spat out my tea laughing so hard

Just finished drinking a cup of green tea. How does it feel knowing that I'm a dainty pretty boy and girls love that?

Stop replying to yourself. It isn't even funny.

Fiona Ghallager reads?

Faggot.

Cordial is superior

hey me
how's your vd?
my erection doesn't get up to three
have a cup of tea

...

Looks the type of girl that sucks a dozen random dicks at parties when drunk.

I doubt you're ever invited to a party

strange considering that's a dude

Exuse me, you yes person lying on the ground, why are you wearing shoes without socks? We can smell the foot odour in the contemporary Slavic literature section, right beside the Polynesian cook books, please wash your feet, or take your shoes off and leave them outside.
I can remove your shoes if you want, and wash your feet for you.
Also it's summer here so you don't need the hoodie and gloves.
So remove them too.

Can I tell you about my friend Randall?

Maybe you have different parties where you're from.

*hides ass in her dick*

That sword is Neit

kek

>frequenting any establishment that offers titles such as The Big Book of Pokemon
>that posturing Starbucks coffee
Away with you, slattern.

>my dad actually put a bible in the fiction section at some bookstore

>putting classic female authors in the YA section

Oh noooo it's mindless millenial coffee drinking female #46721873928 here to block my path! what will i ever do!

To fuck that ugly horse. Yes, that horse printed on the book cover behind you. You see that pokeball themed book? Then it's under it. I'm gonna unzip my pants, put my kiełbasa out and wank to it until it neighs or I am milked out. Don't be jealous; I came in your book yesterday. Excuse me, I have two more books to splash over, I must be fast.

You meant 'nyet', Ivan.

goddam I want to have sex so bad.

I just want a GF so I can get tired of it and realize that it's not the top aim of love, so I can sort everything in its proper place

You don't need a "gf" to have sex. Also, having sex with someone you don't care about isn't much fun.

There's no way some dorky dude from Veeky Forums could get an ONS.

It's actually easier than "getting" a long-term relationship. Source: my life

wow, did you just assume my gender?

"I work here, lady. I came here to tell you that you have to stand up or you have to leave."

Also
"You have been quite rude with that statement. I can spare you after I have made you pregnant"

That's because girls see through your bullshit after some time.

Nevertheless, I am proof that a "dorky dude from Veeky Forums" (which I assuredly am) can have one night stands. I only had a few, it didn't take me long to realize that sex without knowing the other person is glorified masturbation

>I can spare you after I have made you pregnant
well that came quite sudden
go on, user...

most drinks are mostly water dude

Even cum.

Why do people do it so much then?

Whenever I see a thread like this, I wonder what the authorial intent might possibly have been.

Same reason people eat fast food - easy, quick, but empty fulfillment.

Not that guy, but obviously it varies from person to person depending on libido and interest in sex in general. However, the main reason would be self affirmation. You prove that you are desirable, that you have sexual capital.

Why do people masturbate? It's a pleasurable sensation. But sex can be more than sensual pleasure; it can be mentally pleasurable as well. The only way to attain the pleasure in this latter category is to know (care about more than their body) the person you're having sex with

*grab her legs and starts caressing and kiss them till she slaps me and runs away*
hehe

>Not jumping over her and looking back roguishly over your shoulder to say "I always wanted to be a showjumper"
Learn the art of charm you nerds

All sounds pretty awful to me.

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I have a one night stand I tend to view it as a little bit of extra flavor in my life. Here's a person I wouldn't otherwise have seen naked, a mouth I would not otherwise have felt wrapped around my cock, a set of moans and squeals I would not otherwise have heard. It has a pleasure all its own, but I find myself chasing it less and less as the years while on.

Pure unadulterated autism

*as she stares shocked at me, I "accidentaly" drop in the space between her legs an educational book for first-time mothers*
"Well, you have ten minutes to decide, lady"

PS: Probably she is too young to even think about having children. I just want her ass out of my bookstore's floor. If she wants to read a book in situ instead of buying it, then do it standing up. Keep the aisles clear and let other customers be able to move freely without having to jump.

I expected an impregnation fetish. I am let down.

You must be out of your fucking mind if you think that I'd be in a fucking bookstore. Most of those fucking pseuds probably read the first few paragraphs of Infinite Jest before realizing that they have social lives and better things to do. Probably some fucking Libertarian cock-sucker licking Ayn Rand's ass juice off of a Hello Kitty diary. Or some fucking hard left pink hair motherfucker who would rather read shitty tumblr posts about committing suicide and only goes to book stores to look smart. Then there's the shitty Starbucks coffee, which tastes like I'm dipping my tongue in a vat of shame and rat turds. I'd rather rip out my own aorta and shove it up my asshole than possibly share a building with some English major who actually enjoys reading Romanticism. God forbid I stumble upon some poorly constructed amino acids that believe nihilism is 'deep'. No, fuck you. Fuck all of this. Fuck book stores. Fuck books, and everyone that enjoys them.

That's just the foreplay.

That sounds like rape, user, and I am not living in Sweden.

Anyway, impregnation is just a moment, which you can enjoy or it can be boring. The real miracle comes 9 months before.

Kind of

>sniffs
>"don't get up. can you smell cum?"

>heh, i see you too enjoy branded consumer goods

>horse girls
no

I, on the other hand, actually am Swedish though (hej). And let me tell you, our large rape numbers are due to statistical technicalities, i.e. we sort all sorts of minor assaults below the rape label and each case can be listed as numerous assaults. Say a child who has been molested for years. Other countries list 1 victim = 1 case. Whereas we would list 312154545 assaults = 312154545 cases. Thus our numbers are "enlarged" compared to other countries. Sweden is not a country without crime or assault, but there is no more than in other western countries. In fact, there's a lot less. Sweden is one of the safest places on earth.

The more you know~~

t. Unpaid unofficial representative of the SIDF

>tfw probably every woman and young boy in that image has been raped since the picture was taken
scary times we live in

Not very probable at all.

youtube.com/watch?v=JL1bNNdj1os

t. your swedish friend

I was only joking, Swedish user, haha. Your country is not that bad at all. I have never been there personally but I would not refuse to visit your homeland if I had the opportunity. Very nice people every Swedish I have met.
Peace.

>"w-we're not a bad country g-g-- OH SHIT, GRENADE!!!"
>and thus sven met his end by a frag grenade thrown at him by achmed after he made a post defending his shithole of a muslim-loving nigger-infested country

do you even know what the fuck you're talking about, or is omar just sitting behind you with a rusty ak just mumbling about how he's gonna fuck your mom, dog, and left asscheek at 45 degrees, forcing you to type this bullshit?

>B&N has a video games section prominently displayed near the kids books
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA /v/ETARDS BTFO