Best of Veeky Forums

Best of Veeky Forums

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i know this is a satire, but the satire itself is fucking reddit

I've always thought the same thing about that cap

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>tfw I made a typo and now it's recorded that way forever in this screenshot

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Now you're going to have to point it out user

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>paied

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/r/ing the "if the world was truly libertarian" one

>cracked the cases
end my life

this will never not be funny

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Would be funnier if the thunderword explanation wasn't completely made up

Still, 9/10 I guffawed

>being on this low an irony level
>thinking the joke is the joke

I'm pretty much out, hope this is enough to keep the thread alive

I see this shit so much. They can't help but displaying stupidity

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Thanks for correcting le record!

1/2

2/2

Kek

>I take memes seriously and can't handle bantz
Look I hate some of this stuff too at times but it's fucking useless whining about it instead of being a helpful and constructive member of the board

I can't laugh at this because too many of the things he calls memes are actual good advice. Fucking pseuds get off my board.

sure, but the post itself is so cringe that it's epic

That's what I've always heard. What is it really?

The word is used to describe Finnegan falling from his ladder and hitting the ground. It's the symbolic flash of doom, death, whatever. Of course Adam and Eve can be pulled from it, they're mentioned on the same page, but there's only a skeleton of the book that you can claim to objectively know as true

Is the joke in the oddity of writing down the fantasies explicitly?
Because otherwise, what he says is 100% accurate.
If I'd get back the hours looking at noticing random chicks on the streets, well knowing that I won't even interact with them... I complained about this even with chicks right after I fuck them. If you hadn't had sex for 4 days or so, you crave it the whole day and then you do it and after you gained nothing. After you have all bra sizes from A to E, and everything from fat to sporty chicks, you realize you'd gain nothing of "seducing" another girl and the sex wouldn't be anything more than eating a cake - good WHILE you do it but a waste of time after. But you crave if anyway, every few days, because you brain demands you to. Even if you had sex the day before, if you see something like pic related irl you're transfixed. I wish I could turn off this aspect of the male brain.

>If you hadn't had sex for 4 days or so, you crave it the whole day and then you do it and after you gained nothing.
Yeah this is what happens when you're a fucking disgusting slut, dumbass

Sex is fun but it isn't anything to cater your life towards. When I'm not in a relationship I don't actively seek sex out. I seek an emotional connection out. If you're going to be a pathetic sex gorilla allowing yourself to be distracted and consumed by the slightest possibility or suggestion of fucking, what a fucking surprise! You end up spiraling out of control and ending up 40 with crabs, herpes, and children you'll never get to meet on three continents

Learn some self control, you pathetic fucking drain

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sorry for not being enlightened yet, you cunt

Please continue to spread disease so that my tax dollar can pay for the treatments

get laid once first please, btw i wish we could cut that string in our brain for a while. let the human specie die

Buddy, I have sex like four times a week. I'm in a relationship. I've had one night stands with friends before and hate them

Fucking kek this one gets me every time

Holy shit that's my post. I am honored.

somehow this made me kek

also whoever posted that joke about the guy who gets three wishes and makes his arms rotate in opposite directions a while ago thank-you, my friend who likes shaggy dog jokes thought it was amazing and now tells it to everyone

Finnegans Wake part killed me. 10/10 user good job.

i need more laffs

sure here

there's actually a subreddit for this stuff
you belong there, not here.

It's a rare but beautiful sight, the Veeky Forums story post that is both funny and in good spirit

Do you run into stand up comedy clubs and scream at the comedian for making shit up too? I am going to shove my thumb so far up your ass I knock a tooth loose.

We know it's fake, it's still funny

>(you) belong there, not here.
I'm not that OP, just a fellow screenshotter.

Requesting >That's why you read Plato

Hang on. I know this is Veeky Forums, but do people here still not know about Inspect Element?
as in pic related

user... he was the hero they needed

wait, you're saying the professor DIDNT roll around on his desk like a turtle on his back??

Inspect element? What am I a fucking chemist?

Oh I see what this is. It's just another butt hurt, salty Marxist who got his poor little fee-fees hurt and decided to make a long, drawn out post to bitch and moan at the whole board.

proof or it didn't happen

EPIC

Why am i laughing at this? This is not supposed to be funny.

>left the store with artemis fowl

jesus christ

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This guy really ought to read some Sartre or Kierkegaard

>tfw you made it in the cap

That man is really going his own way right now

>Pretentious Anguish by Ernest Milton

I love that

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I wish I could write shitposts like this

so beautiful

it's reddit on every single level is what we're saying

>tfw haven't had sex in 20 years

>tfw 26 years old

>Bantz
nothing more cancerous exists in the universe than this shit

baby needs a band aid on his bottom

First time I've experienced contagious laughter from a Veeky Forums post.

>tfw you didn't make it in the screencap

Could u repeat this joke pls?

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I've said it before and I'll say it again but this is a good point. Literally the only reason we think certain foods are breakfast foods is because of marketing.

The fact that either no one cares or no one realises is just astonishing to me.

Fuck off cereal shill

If you are American and want to eat pure sugar then kill yourself.

>also whoever posted that joke about the guy who gets three wishes and makes his arms rotate in opposite directions a while ago thank-you, my friend who likes shaggy dog jokes thought it was amazing and now tells it to everyone
There are so many retarded people in the world.

Are you trolling? Are you retarded? I can't tell. It's something everyone works through when they're eight years old.

It's really not though considering restaurants and shit still offer purely breakfast foods during an earlier time. It's still ingrained in people's mind that certain foods are breakfast foods.

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.

Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I fucked up."

Babies first camus reading

Fucking thank you user. Been looking for this for ages. That last Woo always gets me.

same, what the fuck

Where's the guy that references the characters in his unpublished novel?

Oh you're really pulling one Gregory Berrycone there, buddy, haha

Does anyone have the mother's pancakes one?

It was BRAAAAP level humor, but very well written.

Fuck that made me chuckle for an hour on end.
Got any more jokes like that?

It's a combination of a shaggy dog and an anti joke. I can't really tell you another one since it works by subverting your expectations.

Who is Gregory Berrycone?

Oh, he's just a minor character in my unpublished absurdist novel, he woke up one day with a misterious plastic knob on the back of his head.