Pleb stories thread please and thank you

Made me giggle a little.

I'm a psych major and can confirm this, a cancer inside me grows a little bit each time I hang out with my colleagues, they're extremely self-congratulatory because they're studying to become psychologists, they mock-analyze people and situations all the time, they share stupid "trust me, I'm a psychologist" memes etc. Having grown up in a rural, deadbeat area of my country, I never imagined the capital would be filled with such boring people.

Its so rare for people to read any book at all. What was the last phenomenon? 50 Shades. That was several years ago now. Before that? Probably the last Potter.

Hunger Games and John Green come to mind also. Not really worthwhile but the mainstream loved them.

>female friend asks me why I don't try to get laid
>Say that physical pleasure is a temporary distraction on the road towards long-term contentment, and for that reason, casual sex is harmful if not degenerate
>Explain that relationships in general exist to alleviate the anxiety of existence, but often lead us to become comfortable with who we are and lose sight of who we should be. Romantic relationships exist solely for pleasure and mutual self affirmation, and they are for this reason harmful if not degenerate.
>To make sure my argument is air tight, I remind her that 1) sex can lead to reproduction and 2) to have a child is to kill a person several decades in the future. For these additional reasons, sex is potentially harmful, selfish, and degenerate.
>"Omg are you serious, you read too much"
>"Haha yeah"
Fuck women.

iktf

This is why logic is overrated, it can lead to extremely retarded conclusions and life choices.

>being comfortable with who you are is somehow a bad thing
>believes he should be something
>is a strict antinatalist

You are haunted as fuck my man, it's no wonder you don't get laid more often

yea but sometimes it feels nice when you cum out of your penis

> this guy

pussy - 1
logic - 0

try again NEET fags

I fucking hated college for this reason.

I know you were literally asked by OP to post this but -- back to r9k.

The only positive characteristic that sex has and masturbation does not is that it makes you feel as if you've done something right. Nutting raw inside of a girl has the same effect on a man as a parent's approval has to a child. A desire for sex is equivalent to insecurity and lack of inner purpose. For this reason, sex is more harmful than masturbation, which is bad enough in itself.

>he thinks you have to ruin your books to show you've read them

Go back

>virgin talking about what it feels like to have sex
Kys

>The only positive characteristic that sex has and masturbation does not is that it makes you feel as if you've done something right.
You've obviously never held genuine affection for anyone, probably not even yourself, so I wouldn't expect you to understand how enjoyable sex with a person whom you love can be.

>A desire for sex is equivalent to insecurity and lack of inner purpose.
Keep telling yourself that, m8y. Charging after sex in a hedonistic fashion, sure, but in that case sex has supplanted a focal skill. Like I said above, if it's with a person you actually care about it's much more than glorified masturbation.

Cringe, great post though

>spines aren't creased
what the hell is this supposed to mean?
most people don't aggressively manhandle their books like fucking savages
there is nothing wrong with taking care of things that you own

It's actually virgins who overvalue sex the most.
I know you won't let yourself believe this, but I am extremely content with my life.. I certainly don't dislike myself since the self I would dislike would be the self of the past, and thus no longer really me and out of my control.I focus on the present and the future. At best I forgive the self of the past, and at worst I use its mistakes to improve myself in the future. I'm content with my life in the present, and I know I will be content with my life in the future.

Sex with a person you love is the purest example of what I'm criticizing. Of course sex with such a person seems nearly transcendental to a materialist, hedonist, etc. It is the most important and significant act of external affirmation that one can achieve with such a worldview. The mistake people like you make is focusing on how pleasurable sex like this is, when the important lesson is that it's just pleasure.

>It's actually virgins who overvalue sex the most.
It's obvious sex means a lot to you since you actively go out of your way to avoid it and talk about it with strangers on the internet, despite not being interested in getting some.

If you think it is safe to assume that avoiding a single activity and posting on Veeky Forums encompass a great deal of a person's life, that reflects more negatively on you than on me.

That makes no sense but whatever, if you're happy then it's all grand. Chances are you'll regret not having children later on in your life, though.

Without actually experiencing sex you realize that all you've written is empty baseless rhetoric right? You really do sound like you don't know anything about the subject. I'd refrain from posting about it until you actually get laid dawg.

>p: you avoid sex and go out of your way to talk about it with strangers on the internet
>q: sex must mean a lot to you
q does not necessarily follow from p even though you claim it does. It only follows after you make certain assumptions which imply you have a sad life or at least view of the world. Chances are you'll regret your shallow worldview later on in your life.
I have had sex, with multiple people including people I've cared about. I don't focus on this since you'll just deny it. It isn't clear that I haven't had sex. What is clear is that you assume having sex transforms one's worldview in a way that it clearly does not. You think that having sex or having sex the "right" way is somehow transformative and nullifies the beliefs I hold. That's incorrect. I held none of these beliefs as a virgin. Virgins assume that good sex has some special status as a good thing, and some people like you remain virgins in this sense, regardless of how much sex you have.

You really sound jaded and frustrated as fuck, go get laid m8 it helps.

This + all the rationalisations & same old excuses from non-reading plebs.

>You don't have to destroy your books
>What are you an ape!!!
Treating your books as inviolable sacred fetish objects = a clear sign of a collector pseud. Simply opening a book at a table or in your hands to read it is enough to free up the spine; not doing this is the reason for those pristine bookshelves.

>the 'get laid solves all your problems' myth
Why do people still use this?

If insisting someone is miserable is more valuable than having a thoughtful discussion about a topic on which we disagree, then so be it.

But user, we are meant to degenerate.

Do not deny the demiurge his pleasure.

This "discussion" definitely doesn't qualify as thoughtful, you're claiming sex is bad because a person will be born who will die one day (If life is so miserable why don't you kill yourself right now? You claim you're satisfied, so why wouldn't you give another human a chance to feel what you feel?), a relationship is bad because it makes you content and unwilling to progress (it doesn't), basically any kind of enjoyment is only a distraction. What the fuck do you do in life? Read Schopenhauer and sleep?

>the important lesson is that it's just pleasure
Just so. So? Everything is just everything. You are still wound up like clockwork, so why don't you run along as you're meant to?

We are talking about love, of course. The highest pleasure.

Woah, I'm not the guy you were previously responding to so refrain from the assumptions about how or what I think on the subject. I was basing my post off of what you've previously posted -- which led me to believe that you were a virgin. I stand corrected.

I don't think that the pursuit of sex or that having it necessitates a certain worldview. What I can say is that for me regular sex is a very effective way to release stress and it generally makes me a happier person. It also brings me closer to my partners and allows for a more relaxed and open (communicative) relationship.

Obviously we all have a different experience and outlook on it. And if you're content with doing you then by all means keep doing you but don't get misogynistic about it. You've had sex yeah but woman are just as human as we are. Generalizing an entire sex based off of your limited experience with them is immature.

Go find some a-sexual intellectual qts who will metaphorically masturbate in tandem with your superior brain. Or you know you could try dudes.

Not him but women are definitely not "le just like us", most of them are only good for sex

You're misunderstanding nearly all of my points. I think people should strive for contentment instead of physical pleasures which I see as short term. A reliance on other people and material for pleasure leads to misery when those things are removed. I don't like pessimists. Pessimists philosophy does for pessimists what sex does for hedonists: it leads them to have a harmful state of being affirmed.
Sex is not love, and love is not the highest pleasure. The idea of a "highest" pleasure is reductionist. Even if it were, that would not make it good or worth pursuing.
Sorry for being rude, user. I don't need to fuck dudes, I get off to (you)s now.

What is contentment for you? And why do you seek contentment if you avoid relationships because they provide it? I'm sure you're baiting by now, but your original post was serious.

I'm a philosophy student, and unironically, the only thing I've become more and more certain of is that I know squat fucking shit.

A key ingredient in contentment is freedom. Given this, relationships do not cause contentment, they hinder it. A relationship entails a series of obligations which are limitations of freedom. In addition, relationships provide pleasure not contentment. This is seen in the fact that a relationship is postponed suffering in the way that a source of contentment, like piety, is not.

> a thread intended for amusing pleb stories is derailed by autistic screeches about how icky sex is
You all disgust me

Holy fuck this

>The first three points aren't THAT bad.
>Point fucking 4 though.

Bump for more pleb stories, autists should be in bed now

I too also expected amusing stories about the ignorant public but alas, I only found disappointing autism about sex.

> my little brother says he likes to read
> never reads
> he catches me reading some of Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow - it's pretty good, memes aside, would recommend
> he says "wow, that book is massive, what's it about?"
> struggle to tell him what it's really about, but tell him some of my favourite passages, a simple run-down of the narrative and some of the experimental methods it uses to connect unusual story points together (if you've not read it, there's a giant octopus that threatens a woman on a French beach, a man who is flushed down a toilet to avoid being raped by Malcolm X and steamy sex affairs, as well as beautiful abstract metaphors that can extend to a page sometimes)
> he says it sounds amazing and I say it is but that he'll probably struggle with it like I was
> "nah it's fine, as long as you follow the story it can't get that complicated"
> Shrug and let him borrow it when I finish it, just so he can see he's talking shit
> a year later, which is a few weeks ago, wonder where my copy of GR has gone
> remember he has it somewhere
> ask him for it back
> "Awww, but it makes my shelf look really nice. it's a good thick book, makes me look like a better reader lol"
> he actually says "lol"
> i ask what he thought of it
> "nah, I didn't like it. Didn't get past the first pages, it was boring. Nothing complicated it just goes on and on lol"
> ask him for it back
> get it back
> notice some pages are missing, who tears pages out of a book?
> he drew stick men on the back pages
> he's 19 years old

What the hell

> complaining about the lack of pleb stories
> never tries to create a solution i.e. more pleb stories, they just want to complain more

Ah, the self-fulfilling autism cycle continues.

> own a lot of books that are 800+ pages in length, some are in an immensely small print, need to wear glasses and sometimes need a magnifying glass, a lot of anthology collections and complete collections in a single hardback volume
> most of my book collection is books this size
> try to read frequently but often caught up in a single book for months, as well as having to keep hold of my job
> tend to only read two books each year due to this
> i start more books than i finish

the twist is that it is i who is the pleb

>be talking with coworker
>he asks what i do in my free time
>"i read books i guess"
>"i never read personally, there's a netflix adaption of pretty much every book so why bother."

nice guy otherwise but that did trigger me a bit.

Reminds me of a friend who used to ask why there weren't movies adaptations of novels that wouldn't really work as movie adaptations. He had heard of books like Gravity's Rainbow, Infinite Jest, Blood Meridian, 2666, To The Lighthouse but because he heard they were too complex (certainly in comparison to the stuff he would usually read like YA fiction etc) he just hoped for movie adaptations.

Of course, us lot on Veeky Forums know that some books can't really work in a visual medium due to the expression in prose or experimental techniques that means the book relies less on narrative and more on contemplation, but if I ever told him some books just can't really work as films he would call be pretentious and try to shut down the conversation.

He can be a nice guy but that sort of thing bugs me t b h

>Samuel Cook
Maybe she's a fan of soul music.

haha, you're gay dude.

little siblings are a goldmine of embarrassment

Serious, nonmeme reply: you're autistic. I'm sure you're happy with your way of life, but recommending it to neurotypical people as the right way to live makes you look very silly.

>getting (you)s almost a day later
My magnum opus

> Love to read classics but skip shitty parts

It's a lot more enjoyable, you should try it.

Parts I skipped:
> backstories to secondary characters in Don Quixote, saves me 50-80 pages worth of nonsense
> nautical chapters in Moby Dick
> any Spanish in Blood Meridian
> the drug bits in Naked Lunch
> the christian bits in Brothers Karamazov
> the ship catalogue in Illiad

because I do this I can get a fresher take on the story in these books and I can read 100+ books each year because I'm not wasting time on shitty parts.

>the christian bits in Brothers K
could have been a 4/10 bait but you had to drop it to a 1/10 with that doozy

So do people do that a lot then? Kek thought i was the only one

>chilling with friends
>put morton feldman's second string quartet
>confront myself and my self (as an ontological historical entity) with the mirror of atonality (as a mirror is not an empathic but a reflexive entity, alien to the space and time it reflects and only existing by itself in relation to the other) and realize the boundaries of human thought, comprehension and consciousness
>reach rational ecstasy
>pleb friend gets up and says "what is this silence shit, lmao, put some nirvana"
>get angry at their rockist subaltern consumption conditioned by the structures of power of the imperialist white economies, but contain it
>calm myself down by remembering quotes from finnegans wake, my favorite book since i was a teenager
>mfw can't express myself because i'm a spectator in the society of spectacle

"It is not the slumber of reason which engenders monsters, but vigilant and insomniac rationality. - Gilles Deleuze" - ~Astigmata

> people like this
> regularly visiting a board dedicated to reading literature

you're not too bright are you

> any Spanish in Blood Meridian

Saying "Any spanish in Don Quixote" would be a lot more triggering, but you still made me reply, you wanker

>there is no way someone can both be a genuine, enthusiastic reader and care about the books they pay good money for

>muh no true literature hobbyist

>I can read 100+ books
Except for you're purposefully not reading them...? Unless by "read" you mean "added to my read pile on Goodreads"

> the drug bits in Naked Lunch

how can you refuse to read the majority of the novel and still claim you have read it what the heck

>> the ship catalogue in Illiad
Honestly can't blame anyone for this.

there has literally never been a time when i was glad i lent someone a book. at best i'll get it back in slightly worse condition with a mumble about how it was good but yeah not really my thing.

> lending books
> ever

I hope you guys learned your lesson. People don't see a borrowed book in the same light as other things: it's a fucking book, they're everywhere and many are cheap, why would you care if it comes back with a few doodles and torn pages? Count yourself lucky that you actually got it back in the end.

How can people even do this

you know when you reach page 146, instead of turning over to 147 you turn to page 328

>to have a child is to kill a person several decades in the future.
>mfw my parents are murderers

wtf I'm antinatalist now

> using books ever to prop up an uneven table

> accident prone porko puppo getting into accidents
> he's crazy haha he always rolls down the stairs
> the sound he makes running into a wall is the same sound you make when you smack your tummy
> haha what a mad dog haha crazy dogman
> feel bad when he gets into a major accident involving jumping onto the sofa and getting stuck in the avalanche of sofa cushions
> almost lost him for good
> got to save this little dogman for good
> for the greater good i save his life by wrapping him in an impenetrable fortress of bubble wrap and masking tape
> he's so safe forever that when he runs into the door now he just gently pops a bubble and has fun every time
> thank you god i am blessed

5/10 made me reply, seems plausible since we live in a world where people think listening to audiobooks counts as reading

Why is this the cutest thing I've read all day?

Here's one where I was the pleb
>in HS
>talking with programming teacher about sci-fi books
>"Oh user, btw go read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it's hilarious and you'll love it. The humor is very quirky and hilarious
>keep this in mind one day
>go to B/N and find all 5 books on sale
>buy them
>read the first book in about 4-6hours
>don't understand any of it
>force myself to read all 5
>all 5 don't make sense
>mfw I was conned into reading shit sci-fi

>go to Barnes and Noble
>hey do you guys happen to have any Kafka
>kabga?
>no Kafka, do you have the trial?
>how do you spell that?
>oh no sorry we don't have any of him
What a shit store.

>forcing yourself to read something you know you don't like
confirmed for pleb

> goto waterstones because i'm britbong
> pick up classics and get complimented on my choices by the clerk at the till, have a nice chat about the books as they get scanned

I don't know what b&n are like but my country's book shop is pretty comfy and its a pleasantry to visit. Sorry to hear that b&n isn't as reliable.

In fairness he did say he was the pleb, user

> "and has fun every time"

I can scientifically confirm this accuracy as pugs are enthusiastic wobble lumps of retarded joy.

Never quite got why teens audibly say lol

I like this guy

Jesus! I'm 19 and come down with the spurg fever from time to time, but fucking this? this is bad, real bad.

really think blood meme can't be a movie? no country for old men and the road transferred pretty well.

You are such a fucking idiot. Rationalizations? You're an embarrassment to this board and literature in general.
>anyone who doesn't read like me doesn't read.

>reading blood meridian before class
>quiet qt noticed and approaches
>talk a bit about books
>seems alright
>hey, speaking of the Greeks, do you have a favorite?
>yes, user, I really like Marcus aurilieus
>instantly flaccid
>get into class and get through it
>go to music building and fix my blue balls with a few chapters of "the story of the eye."

It depends on the B&N really. You get a fair number of English majors who don't know what they're doing with their life

we also have books-a-million, which I feel is worse due to the weird way they categorize and set up all there books.

smaller chains like half priced books are really nice if you ask me. decent priced, large selection, well categorized sections. it's all good there, especially with how cheap the leatherbounds are.

>Go over to cousin's place after Mass
>See he has a bookshelf and books on it
>Ask him why this is
>Apparently he doesn't eat the book as he reads it, he just puts them back on the shelf when he's done
I cut all contact after that, don't know if he still does that shit.

Not Veeky Forums related, but as a kid, this guy I knew was a major phony, so me and my friends would always fuck with him by saying shit like "Yo, that new movie Dragon Tamer; Beast of Elderons was cool as hell", and without fail, EVERY TIME, that annoying kid would go "Oh, yeah, that movie was so badass!" too.

Makes me laugh every time.

How else are you supposed to absorb all the info?