First author guesstimates three quantities in paper

>First author guesstimates three quantities in paper.
>Reviewers tell him to not do that.
>First author asks if i can measure the quantities for him
>sure.jpg
>Spend 40 hours in lab over last 4 days, neglecting all of my classes.
>Measurements contradict his guesstimates entirely.
>Wants to have a conference call this afternoon to discuss my labwork
>If he asks me to run the tests again over the weekend I'm going to lose it.
Fuck science, is math any less shit.

>First author guesstimates three quantities in paper.
>Reviewers tell him that is only valid in the conclusion section.
>First author asks if i can compute the quantities for him
>sure.jpg
>Spend 40 seconds in computer lab setting up matlab to do the computations, neglecting that piss I have to take.
>Computations contradict his guesstimates
>Wants to have a skype call whenever I'm free
>If he asks me to run the computations again over the weekend I'm going to have to give him the .m files so he can do it himself.

>matlab
ISHYGDDT.jpg

you have to repeat your experiment friend. also the new data can be seen as a positive contribution to the paper, one that may merit higher authorship. just mention how long the measurements take

>First author asks if i can measure the quantities for him
you should have either bargained for a better author spot or withdrawn from the paper entirely. if he made up three quantities he probably made up more.

>you should have either bargained for a better author spot or withdrawn from the paper entirely. if he made up three quantities he probably made up more.
++
Reminder that no matter your spot in the author list, you will still be held responsible for ALL contents of the paper, unless it is specified who contributed what.

>matlab

What do you prefer, Mathematica?

Doing the measurements to give the shitty approximate calculations a solid base.

East Asian or South Asian?

>40 hours over last 4 days
Nigga, call me when you're doing 80+ hour weeks during Thanksgiving and Christmas. You ain't seen shit.

Would he think of complaining in either case?

Python master race here, matlab is actually quite nice but python is a proper language and gives a little more customizability while still being relatively easy to start with.

>not listing the authors alphabetically
Truly, every academic discipline outside of math is so primitive.

>Python master race
>Python
>master race

>Oh you write on paper? That's cute, I harvest bamboo in my garden, create an even paste to remove fibers, then let it dry for a week, and THEN I write on it!
>It gives you flexibility common paper never could.

>Python
>master race
Pick one, you drooling brainlet. I write my numerical computing environments in GNU assembly because it offers me excellent customisation while being easy to do if you have an IQ over 100.
>He doesn't write his own optimiser to maximise execution speed
Also,
>Python
>proper language
If it's interpreted or dynamically typed, it's not a real language, little baby. :) Enjoy slapping your little baby hands on Baby's First Keyboard™ (available in your favourite glossy primary colours) while "programming" in baby's first "programming" language.

Python is not more of a language than Matlab by any conceivable metric.

Inb4 speed or memory footprint. If those things exclude Matlab from being a "proper language", there's no way Python can be considered a proper language.

>matlab is actually quite nice
No. Matlab is reason to commit suicide, but so is python, but at least its free.

>not giving each person appropriate credit
truly mathematicians are too autistic to evaluate another person's contribution correctly

Your so tough and smart
Would you plz jump off a huge cliff for me ?
Thanks kiddo.

Except that python is easier to learn and free. So to ammend your analogy, switching from matlab to python is like buying ultra organic bamboo from your local artizan paper supply company, making paper out of it, and then throwing it out in favor of the blank A4 paper you found sitting on your counter.

>Mathematica
Do you know any language other than meme languages?

On the contrary, we're autistic enough to realise that alphabetical listing is the only fair one, since most articles depend far more on the work of the mathematicians they reference than the one they contribute themselves. Mathematics is one organic whole and we are its cells.

>matlab
2017 and people are still falling for it

>Inb4 speed or memory footprint. If those things exclude Matlab from being a "proper language", there's no way Python can be considered a proper language.
What? Python's numeric libraries significantly outperform Matlab.