This is it lads. I've decided to kill myself. I can no longer live in fear and deal with my hypochondria...

This. "We're on the cusp of a major change to the human experience."

With computers and the ability to write on several mediums, it is the best possible time for a writer to be alive.

You'd be missing out on an experience for a writer that has been impossible up till now.

It´d be nice to have some considerable body of work to leave as a legacy before one´s. I only have like 15 poems and a short story.
I´d like to write more before my eventual demise in a few weeks, but my mind is too distracted to do anything creative. I can´t even get myself to read more than an hour.

>has gf
>still wants to kill himself

you deserve it desoo

I don't deserve her anymore. When she sees me down sometimes it brings her to tears. No one should have to go through that.

I think you should let her decide that. She's her own person. She's with you. Don't make that decision for her.

>When she sees me down sometimes it brings her to tears. No one should have to go through that.
So killing yourself is going to cheer her up?

I don't think you're thinking this through completely.

I know. But it's been 27 years of this and the past 2 years have been worse than ever despite my efforts to go to the gym, run, go to therapy. Just do everything in my power to be happy. I get days of peace followed by weeks of hell. I'm sorry I don't want this anymore.

don't do it

things don't magically disappear if you die, OP

all you would do is transfer your lifegrief to your family and your girlfriend and make them suffer more

Move into the woods user.

You need fresh air and the sun on your face. not ruminating in front of a computer or manuscript.

Oh, stop whining and just do it or never mention it again, you baby.

How can you? I don't think this is something someone can think through? Everyone told me it would get better and it's getting worse and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone and I couldn't imagine living my whole life like this. But just follow the link my girlfriend provides and have a look. Don't even comment in the thread. I guarantee she will never come back after doing this for me.

I empathize, OP. Really.

But this is the wrong move. For her, for you, for the future you could have, alone or together. There's room for so much change in the near future. AI, VR, Space, or, if you don't care about any of that, the resurgence of transcendentalism. There's a place for you. It's fucking right there. You're making a mistake.

Just understand that it's real. That's it for me. Thanks guys.

But why would he care about what happens after his death? There´s probably nothing after you die. You´d cease to exist, so there wouldn´t be a place for regret. And if there´s an afterlife, the idea of it existing would be so fascinating that all regrets would be irrelevant (at least to me).

Sounds like you just want attention fag.

You even have a girlfriend.

Please God don't let this be real.

Having a girlfriend wouldn´t change anything. If you have gotten to the point of being suicidal, a single thing wouldn´t solve your life.

Why would you kill yourself? I'd love to be in your position. I'm approaching 30 and I've never had a single girlfriend.

>Please God don't let this be real.

>deserve
>should

No I'm fucking serious. I come to this board to get away from the world and this is some shit that would happen to another board. I don't need this on my mind!

even quints can't save this sadness

I really enjoyed this novel. I read it in a Global Novel class.

So glad they teach this novel. I wish it would be read in highschool. Teach kids life might not be that long.

What I don't understand about being a hypochondriac is that its not illogical. Plenty of people recieve serious diagnoses from small issues that they would've never geussed could develop into something more. I worry about my health but it doesn't kill me since I don't stress out about death.

That's what fucks with them most.

OP you still alive?

is that even possible anymore?

can i have her then?

This is probably bait but what the hell.
You do understand the underlying irony of being a hypochondriac who wants to kill himself. Overdeveloped survival instinct is leading you to anxiety and doing the exact thing you are anxious about. It's like it's right off of Infinite Jest or some shit.
I am not going to tell you whether or not to do it because you are the only person in the capacity of making that choice based on your day to day pain, but do remember that your judgment can be clouded because of emotional and social echo chambers. Also consider the fact this - most people who try to off themselves and fail, specially jumpers, report immediately regretting the decision.
Also I don't know you so it does not really matter to me whether or not you die but I did have a friend of mine who killed herself back in 2011 and everyone took it hard. Suicide is a serious thing, so don't try to glorify it buying into delusional fantasies of having writings exposed after your death and all of a sudden everyone cares. If you really want the world to see it fucking work for it. Shut up with 'I can't compromise bla bla' just shut your fucking trap. Get yourself published on your own merit and struggle like everyone else. Stop whining, get out of your house and do something about yourself, that is my piece of advice for you

If you are a suicidal hypochondriac just think, you've already decided your going to die, so you don't need to worry about contracting a life threatening illness and dying from it, because you already want to die.

If I was suicidal to the point of giving up, I would give up, but then pick something exciting or dangerous that would make me not seem like such a failure or a loser to people, like go work a manual labor job in Antarctica on one of those research bases, on the fringe of civilization, or hike the Appalachian trail, or sail across the Atlantic alone, or join some dangerous extreme sport culture like cliff jumping where my suicidal ness can be used in my favor. Yeah I wouldn't have a successful career like being a doctor or lawyer like some people in my family, but at least people would think I'm interesting.

Then if I die, it's okay I already wanted to die. And if I don't die then I can come back and people will at least respect me for "chasing my dreams," (even if they aren't really your dreams, people will think you're brave because they wouldn't be willing to risk their lives like I would) and not living a boring life, so I wouldn't be quite as much of a loser and even if my family tells people I failed in my career/education or I'm a robot with no love life, I will have achieved something respectable or done something brave, while most of them just work a normal career and stay in their little comfort bubble.

user at least let us crit your work in person before you go so you suffer more.

That's my thought OP since I do struggle with depression and at times suicidal ideation. Partly because I hate the idea of not being remembered, or leaving any kind of legacy, or being respected at all by my family or descendants down the line.

I would start doing crazy dangerous shit that would gain me some measure of respect, instead of just being a neat, socially anxious fag with melancholy.

Was this supposed to be a Never Let Me Go/Kazuo thread?

I don't know but all the characters in never let me go were dying so who knows.

Yea, it was a sad story so wasn't sure if OP meant that and then everyone latched onto suicide.

Friends don't let friends publish schlock.

>I hate the idea of not being remembered, or leaving any kind of legacy
Not being remembered it the only thing that makes a stressful life bearable. Nobody's going to give a shit 2 months after you die so just do what you want.

What if one day years from now, you experience a moment that makes you say "I am so glad I stayed alive for this, I accept all that has happened before because it lead me to this." This could happen. It is possible!