I fucked up Veeky Forums

I fucked up Veeky Forums

I just won a short story competition intended for young writers in my state.

The rules say you have to be under 30 and also either living / studying in the state, or have your main home in the state and be studying or "on contract" outside of it.

The thing is I was born in that state, lived there for 18 years, all my family live there, my parents' house is there, but I have lived in New York for the past three years since graduating.

Am I fucked?

I already have my name and stuff on the website, it's going to be embarrassing if they have to announce I've been kicked out, it'll hurt my chances of being published in the future too. What the fuck do I do? Do I move back (there's barely any work)? Do I lie? Do I tell them now and withdraw?

There's another guy who won second place a few years back and he has lived in Mexico for years. I'm not sure how he he was allowed to win, but most people who win it or are shortlisted etc are living in the state still. Obviously I can't ask how he was allowed to win.

I'm freaking out.

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You're not going to win anyway so why worry

Just have them send the check to your parents house and remind your deadbeat family that tampering with the US Mails is a federal offense.

>I just won a short story competition intended for young writers in my state.
Nigga this is a literature board, read nigga

Also I have watched videos of the ceremony from the last couple of years and the winner is introduced with a lengthy biography, and is also interviewed by regional newspapers.

I really don't want to lie. Is it best if I withdraw now and save myself embarrassment?

I have already won. I feel like a complete fraud.

There is going to be a ceremony, with a large audience. In previous years the winner has been introduced with a lengthy biography "X was born in Y, then studied Z. He / She now lives in B and works as a C"

I feel sick. If I withdraw now I lose all credibility. I am a laughing stock.

My only solution I think is to move back to the state ASAP and just tell them I "moved back at the start of the year" etc

Lie. Fuck Kant. Tell them you've been going forth and back between NY and your parents house, that is a complicate matter that you don't want to talk about.
Congratulations for winning, by the way.

>captcha: MUDANZA Public
Coincidence? I think not.

If you have no other option, just lie m8. You'll be a legend if they find out. It's not necessarily bad publicity. Just ride the wave.

But it sucks to lie. I'll feel like a complete fraud. And I will have to do some interviews with regional papers, who will think I'm some kind or rich snob LARPing as a native of the state if I tell them that I left the first opportunity I had and didn't come back.

It is bad publicity, because a publishing house (who I hope to submit my work to and publish my novel with) are working with the award and if I am forced to withdrawn I will become a pariah and a laughing stock.

I am fucking freaking out.

>Implying literature is not the most fucked up lie there is
You're a native, idiot. Just because you left some time ago doesn't change the fact that you lived there for most of your life.

The advertisements I saw for the competition said:

"Under 30 And From [State] Or Living In [State]? Enter This Competition...."

But the actual submission page included the other two rules.

I am likely to be viewed as a sell-out and a sort of snooty "*New York*" fuckboy if they find out. I am FUCKED.

>freaking out because he has to massage the truth a little
>omg it's going to be published on the tenth page of Bumfuck Nowhere Times
what the hell

Kill yourself little kid

There is a pretty good publishing house well known for serving as the starting point of many writers from my state. It is literally impossible for me to get published by publishing houses in New York. I lack the contacts, I lack the marketable style, I am autistic. If the article is published with my name on it I will then be traced online and outed as a fraud and a retard.

On the day of the ceremony I will have to be interviewed, talk to dozens of people ("where do you live? how long for? oh so you don't really qualify do you?"). I am such a fucking idiot.

Just fucking lie. If you pull out you don't deserve to win anyway.

Lie how?

And also, if I do manage to publish a novel I will have to be interviewed and they will ask what I've done for work etc. I can't maintain a lie for the rest of my life.

Just take a few days and chill. It's not a huge deal.

What do you mean it isn't a big deal?

I won $1,500. My name and image are on the website and have been posted on facebook etc. People have congratulated me etc.

I don't know whether to tell the truth now and let them decide whether or not I will be allowed to collect the award, or whether to lie and say I only recently moved to New York, or to quit my job and move back to the state (something I was thinking of doing, but there are very few jobs there). I am such an idiot. I can't believe I've screwed up again.

If your parent's place is your permanent address then you should be fine, user

As you say the rules allow you to study out of state, and it's not like you own property in NY right?

You won a prize for writing and that's more than anyone else on this stupid board can say. Stop letting your autism ruin things for absolutely no reason. Your parents have a permentant address, use that.

What do you think is going to happen? Why are you talking about quitting your job. Go collect the award, stop acting like a nut. Congrats.

I don't own property in New York, but I do feel worried since I've looked through previous winners and those shortlisted (there are 15 other shortlisted people invited to read their work on the night) and pretty much all of them live in my home state, either studying there, working there etc.

But I do feel like an outsider who is going to be viewed with suspicion whether I tell the truth or not.

I know for a fact that someone, if they know I've lived in New York for three years, will view me with animosity and will probably even question what I'm doing there if I left so long ago.

>Your parents have a permentant address, use that.

I used that on my submission form but it's not like I pay taxes there or anything.

>What do you think is going to happen?

I will be asked a few weeks before the event if I could provide a more detailed biography so they can "get to know me" better. I will then tell the truth and there will be a few days of silence before I am contacted by the organizer saying sorry but we thought you lived here still. Unfortunately, due to the rules.... And my photo will be removed, my name will be removed, my story will be trashed and my name will be blacklisted and my character dismissed as sinister, weird, unreliable etc.

No one will care you fucking autist

How do you know?

Plenty of people will care. I will be forced to tell them more about myself than I already have (I've only said where I was born, raised and spent most of my life). If they find out that I studied at a college in another state then moved straight to New York many people will raise they eyebrows and ask why I should be given the award when I don't even qualify.

Bel Air's in Santa Monica mate.

I understand the reference I think (Fresh Prince) but it doesn't really apply here.

First of all, congratulations

Have you tried explaining the situation to the organizers? I mean, you have already won, I don't think they would just take the prize away at this point.
>There's another guy who won second place a few years back and he has lived in Mexico for years.
So it looks like they don't care about all that stuff too much.
What can you do? You can lie or tell the truth and go with it. It's up to you, your moral code and how likely you are to get away with lying.

>And my photo will be removed, my name will be removed, my story will be trashed and my name will be blacklisted and my character dismissed as sinister, weird, unreliable etc.
Oh for Christ's sake. People aren't here on this planet just to fuck your shit up.

>From [State] Or Living In [State]

>not [Living in State] or [From State and Living In State]
>OR

Dude, James Frey went along with a lie about his whole life story and pushed his "autobiography" on Oprah. Then he had to go back on so that Oprah could insult him to his face.

Then he published another bestseller and started a YA company. He's worth like $4 mil or so.

Trust me, it's not a big deal.

>people go on to become famous public figures with a massive amount of actual skeletons in their closets
>autistic literally who thinks everyone and their mum will care so deeply as to delve into technicalities of his living situation and career

I have not told the organizers.

The two runners up (second and third places) are both from out of state yet are studying long-term in the state, which makes me a little less anxious. Though if I told them "oh by the way, thanks for the money and recognition but it turns out I don't actually qualify for this award" I don't think they'd react too kindly.

My moral code tells me either to go through with it and HOPE they don't ask, or to simply email them now explaining my situation. I was half-heartedly planning to return to the state at the end of the year to study for a Masters but I've decided against since I'd only do that if I was going to go the whole PhD route etc. I'm just in a fucked position right now.

>People aren't here on this planet just to fuck your shit up.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but still if I lie I will get my shit fucked hard. If I tell the truth I lose the money and go back to square one OR force the organizers into a difficult position by forcing them to explain why they let me have the award despite the fact I don't qualify for it.

A couple of years ago a guy who was and still is based in Mexico, but it's very rare.

Yes but there are ADDITIONAL rules that say either you live in the state or you're from there but either STUDY or work "ON CONTRACT" elsewhere (e.g. you work for a company in that state but have a three-month contract.elsewhere)

I don't want to be like James Frey. I'd rather be a nobody than a rich fraud.

OP here.

They are going to take my photograph.

They are going to interview me and print my answers in a newspaper.

They are going to trust that I am telling the truth whatever I tell them.

I don't want to be a fraud. It was a mistake on my part. I believe I should tell them now and get over any humiliation that might otherwise come my way.

This isn't a minor lie (e.g. when Tao Lin used to lie to magazines that he was living abroad so he could email his short stories instead of posting them by mail). This is something that will wreck my credibility both as a writer and a human being. I don't lie, but here I've just told a small bit of truth but will be forced to provide more truths at a later date, some of which are likely to diqualify me from the competition and leave me with my face in the dirt, utterly humiliated and pushed aside.

>Stop letting your autism ruin things for absolutely no reason.
now that's a good synthesis for all the problems I've ever had.

Eagerly waiting the moment where you're just going to burst in tears in front of the interviewers, confess everything, and they'll be like "wtf no one care"

Last year and the year below at least two articles were written about the winners, with photographs, interviews and lengthy biographies (largely because the winners were very talkative).

The people who run and organized the award are like a family, and they spend a lot of time and effort nurturing local writers. I just feel like I'm being a total fucking retard by withholding truth (due to being private) and then forcing them into an awkward position by revealing that I don't believe I qualify for this award.

I think I'm just going to email the organizer, a kind woman, and apologize that I'm not sure if I qualify for this award and that I understand if they want to give it to someone else.

I've never been to America so I've no idea how important this state jazz is but you could call the whatever people organising the competition and ask them if you're going to be okay.

They'll most likely be fine with it and tell you you've no reason to freak out but just in case, have a story ready about visiting your parents so often you practically live there, and having long been planning to move back (but no apartment just yet) or something.

OP here. I told the organizers that I was planning to study for a Masters there later this year, but I've now decided against that.

They asked me to provide a short biography and I think they were expecting to find out where I lived etc. Maybe they suspect I'm unemployed. Who knows. But they will ask.

I will have to tell the female organizer tonight. She seems to like me but there are a bunch of people involved with judging and organizing and if they think I broke the rules then I will have to submit to that.

But there are no jobs in my home city if you have a humanities degree. That's why I moved away after months of being NEET. I understand their perspective if I win and then reveal I live in a major city with a white collar job and haven't lived back at home since 2010.

>I think I'm just going to email the organizer, a kind woman, and apologize that I'm not sure if I qualify for this award and that I understand if they want to give it to someone else.
Well fucking finally.
Look, you seem to be a good writer, the competition you won seems to be a serious one, and in the worst case scenario, even if they don't give you the prize, you can always try your luck elsewhere.

Please, just lie. If you need inspiration to be "fraudulent":
youtube.com/watch?v=Sl_gyMftEqg

But the thing is a pretty great publishing house is based in the state and works with the prize organizers to publish a book that includes the winning entry and other shortlisted stories.

I was intending to use my victory as a means of submitting to this publishing house and having them release my debut work. But if they waste their time publishing my work and then find out I'm a fraud then I am absolutely going to be blacklisted.

I don't have twitter or an online portfolio or anything like that so they must already suspect I'm some weird (true) anti-social (true) scam artist (not true).

>But it sucks to lie. I'll feel like a complete fraud. And I will have to do some interviews with regional papers, who will think I'm some kind or rich snob LARPing as a native of the state if I tell them that I left the first opportunity I had and didn't come back.

Well that's true though, isn't it? So if you don't want to come across as what you are, lie. It's only logical.

Well you're not going to be much of a scam artist if you openly explain the situation.

Tonight? Whatever you decide, please report to us. You know, to finish the story.

I'm sure you'll be fine though, especially if you had good intentions (or can at least act as though you did).

>I will have to tell the female organizer tonight.
Might want to contact a therapist to cure your OCD afterwards. Really, you could be from Congo, that will not change your literary accomplishment. If you've lived 18 years in this state, what prevents you from lying, really...

I am NOT rich! I am NOT a snob!

I just have no marketable skills and moved to the city to find work.

Yes but if I don't they will think that. It is just going to be humiliating to finally receive some recognition for my work, to be awarded first prize, and then be wiped off the internet entirely, shoved into the memory hole, discarded as a human entity and replaced on the podium and have a group of people surrounding me, their faces inches away from my own, laughing with red sweating faces, howling, screaming in my ear while I stand there utterly defeated, utterly ridiculed, revealed as a pathetic insect begging to be crushed underfoot.

>what prevents you from lying

The same thing that prevents me from signing up to Tinder and telling some chubby 19-year-old Asian advertising her willingness to be a part of a daddy-dom relationship that I am 6 feet 2 inches and worth a million dollars when her bio clearly says that no men under that height will be considered as a potential penetrator.

>Yes but if I don't they will think that.
Yes but you will explain the situation. You literally said that you are going to write a mail and explain.

>is just going to be humiliating to finally receive some recognition for my work, to be awarded first prize, and then be wiped off the internet entirely, shoved into the memory hole, discarded as a human entity and replaced on the podium and have a group of people surrounding me, their faces inches away from my own, laughing with red sweating faces, howling, screaming in my ear while I stand there utterly defeated, utterly ridiculed, revealed as a pathetic insect begging to be crushed underfoot.
Have you considered visiting a therapist?

This was such a great chance (it's not a novel or a national award, I'm not kidding myself) to introduce myself into the world of literature, to impress a publishing house, and so on. And now I'm having to risk being deleted from their website, to embarrass the organizers, to place a black mark against my name, to utterly denounce myself as a potential publisher author.

Stop this shit already, holy fuck. Write the motherfucking email!

Take the fucking prize and smile into the cameras.
This will maybe be your only chance to rise up in society - if you fuck this up you can kill yourself right away.

Geez, stop being such a fucking beta and just move back to your parents for a while before the prize.

But what if it's better not to?!?!!?!?!??!?

I AM FUCKING FREAKING OUT HERE

I HAVE NOT EATEN IN 24 HOURS

I could risk saying nothing and hoping they don't ask, but it is very likely they will want to know where I live, what I do, etc.

But I have a full-time job. It is not easy for someone like me to find work, and I don't want to quit a decent job in New York to work minimum wage in my home city for the sake of winning a short story award which may lead to absolutely nothing in terms of a writing """""career""""". There is no money in writing and barely any prestige today.

You sure do have conviction for someone aspiring to be a writer. Just go on holiday for two weeks or something. Or just lie. Just don't shoot yourself in the foot for the most tacky idiotic reason available. Even the people involved in the contest will rather do things this way instead of having to choose another candidate all over again. Nobody gets hurt. Nobody will even care. And, depending on your answers in this thread, I think you're a talentless neurotic hack with a shitty pseudo-moralistic attitude so there's no love lost anyways.

Tell them it was an honest mistake and that you are really bothered by it.

Chances are, because they've already put your name up and everything is under way, they will sweep it under the rug and ask you questions around your situation so as to avoid themselves any embarrassment.

And no one will care.

I AM GOING TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR A REGIONAL NEWS PAPER

THEY WILL TAKE MY PHOTOGRAPH

THEY WILL ASK:

WHERE I LIVE

WHAT DO I DO

HOW LONG HAVE I LIVED OUTSIDE OF THE STATE?

IT WILL BECOME OBVIOUS TO SOME THAT I MAY NOT IN FACT BE ELIGIBLE FOR THE PRIZE

I AM NOT GOING TO LIE

I COULD SAY "I MOVED TO NEW YORK RECENTLY" BUT EVEN THEN THE SUBMISSION DATE WAS JANUARY 31ST AND I WOULD HAVE HAD TO HAVE BEEN A RESIDENT OR EMPLOYED IN THE COUNTRY AT THAT POINT TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR ENTERING THE COMPETITION

I ENTERED MY PARENTS' HOME ADDRESS, WHICH I CONSIDER MY HOME, ON THE ENTRY FORM

I AM FUCKED

just don't do the interview sperglord since it isn't mandatory, say you're on vacation or something.

pls post your short story I'm sincerely interested in your contribution.

>pls post your short story I'm sincerely interested in your contribution

this, go ahead op.

Facts:

1. I have to attend the event

2. I will be interviewed by at least two journalists

3. I will have to tell the organizers where I live, what I do, and how long I have lived outside of the state

4. My name, my photograph and a brief bio is already on the internet

5. My photograph has already been distributed as part of the promotion for the event

I may even be charged with lying and forced to pay for books published and for promotional material to be recalled etc. I am fucking freaking out.

The organizers of the competition are very friendly with the publishing company I hope to send my work to.

I might even ask my boss if I can work remotely until the end of summer and then return to New York.

I'm not posting my story. I will delete it from my computer if they tell me I can't be given the award.

And it isn't about the money. I couldn't care less about the prize money.

At this point it seems to me that you're just shitposting.

Well this shouldn't be a problem at all.
You were born and raised there and if you go throuh the whole I still feel like a "bum fuck nowhere" person even in NY they will laugh and move on.

Funny thing is that this wont come to pass because of your imminent autistic over reaction.

Good luck OP. Try not to fuck yourself too hard.

I'm not shitposting.

I am telling the truth. I am so exhausted.

I really think I should tell the organizer of my anxiety. I mean I'm going to have to face this problem sooner or later so I may as well do it now.

Don't pussy out now, faggot.
If you're going to lie go all the way and invent grandiose events about your poignant literary lifestyle from age ten, such as how you ate only fruit and did body weight exercises instead of television to strengthen your mental environment

Only a shitty 21 year old could possibly think 3 years is long enough to alienate you from your upbringing. Not only are you not alienated, you'll likely never be. You are permanently psychologically anchored to your home state. Now stop being a fucking primadonna and take the money.

It hasn't alienated me at all from my upbringing. The story I wrote is in fact about the region where I lived for most of my life.

But I think for the purpose of honesty I will have to ask the organizer if she could confirm that I am still eligible for the prize.

>I really think I should tell the organizer of my anxiety. I mean I'm going to have to face this problem sooner or later so I may as well do it now.
Don't forget to mention your sexual perversions too, that may cause problem someday, might as well foresaw it

But what's the alternative to me not telling them?

To wait until the event itself, to meet all the organizers and trustees, and then to drop the bombshell that I haven't actually lived in the state for several years?

To be working un New York doesnt count as "on contract" outside your state?

I think they will let you win, you just have to chill.

I don't think it does.

Since I'm not working for a state-based employer which has sent me to work in New York for X amount of time. I feel like such an idiot right now. It's almost (almost) laughable how much I've fucked up in the past week. I've gone from being in a great position to suddenly finding my life collapsing around me like the town in Blazing Saddles.

Calm down bro. You wrote an award-winning short story about your home. Enjoy the feeling.
Do you work for an employer in NYC?

>Do you work for an employer in NYC?

Yes. I've lived and worked here for three years.

I'm going to have to do something about this. I'll just come clean and see what they say.

You're on contract then. Im reading the whole thread and you actually said there are fewer jobs in your state than in New York. They are probably better paid also. Your life story is a standard nowadays.
You're not a New York fuckboy right? It's been only three years.

SEND THE EMAIL OH MY GOD

Listen to me, OP, you don't seem to be in state of mind to take any rational decision. Let me think for you : Don't. Send. The. Mail. It will only embarrass them, do the jury and yourself a favor and lie.

You don't have to lie to recieve that award, OP.

OP calm your fucking 'tism.

There is no need to lie to them. All you need to say is that you've got a deep connection to the state that surmounts whatever distance you are away from it. Talk about your childhood there, mention it was hard getting a job with a humanities degree there and then say you're hoping to move back when you can.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

You're literally only paying attention to the ones that think that you're stupid.

Fiction is literally a body of lies.

You say it like there was more than one mastermind toying with OP autism since the beginning of this thread

And it was funny, but you made OP cry.

you're me, though

user are you a girl? I think your neuroticism is really cute. Please respond.

Reading your replies in this thread you obviously have some underlying psychological issue you should consider seeing a therapist for. Given this fact go ahead and send the email letting them know your unsure about your eligibility. You are simply completely incapable of following through with this deception, considering your state of mind now you would obviously not be able to handle giving interviews.

Realize this whole thing is not that big a deal though and you obviously have some talent as a writer.

this is some George Costanza tier shit. just watch a couple episodes of Seinfeld and note down all the advice he gives and go with that.

You deserve to fail in life if you keep thinking like this.

Use your parents adress and say you started working on the story in NY, and then you moved back to your state and finished it. You started to live and write in your parents house and is unsure of what to do next, either return to NY or stay there, BUT as things are going to change you are happy to think you'll probably stay on your state as much as you can.

If anyone catches you out just say your lack of a permanent residence is a testament to our spiritual rootlessness under the Trump administration.

Also post story.

>I am autistic
so that's why you're being a whiny bitch.
just fucking roll with it, jesus christ, you'rre freaking out for the dullest thing. Just say that you're working in NY under a contract for 1 year...

>inb4 it's not dull because bla bla, liyng about living there is bad bla bla bla, everyone is going to make fun of me, bla bla

>note down all the advice he gives and do the opposite
This guy is already more stupid than Constanza

>But I think for the purpose of honesty I will have to ask the organizer if she could confirm that I am still eligible for the prize.
Then just do that, you faggot. What's the point of all this waffling?

This.

feign ignorance dude

make some bullshit up about being "connected" to the state and that you only -plan- on being away temporarily

>There is going to be a ceremony, with a large audience...
Said no short story competition winner ever. B8.

This, make the time away from home sound like a journey rather than a goal. You left to find work but also to see what's out there, you managed to get by while writing in relative isolation. Maybe you even left to isolate yourself and to become anonymous in a city larger than your own. It's not hard to spin this, OP. Just be humble about your normie achievements, in fact don't even mention any. Be a recluse.

OP you're giving me the howling fantods. Come the fuck down before we're all infected. Just tell whoever you need to what the dilemma is. Yo I lived here nearly all my life nah mean, I just been here for a while, you can come here for a while too, nahmean bb gurl?

Ez shit.

>But it sucks to lie
No man, it feels amazing