Why are the majority of opening lines in stories and novels cringe-inducing?

Why are the majority of opening lines in stories and novels cringe-inducing?

ummm... hello???
give me an example????

>Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheueren Ungeziefer verwandelt.

Do you guys think flannery was a qt?
Did she die a virgin?

Because youve pathologized the patterns of imageboard rhetoric to the point of percieving any honest attempt at beauty distastefully.

Thanks Freud

no your mom

>Call me ishmael, its not actually my name but its so cool Xdd
really melville?

exposition in general is pretty cringe-inducing but you can't exactly write a first paragraph without offering some exposition.

look into how many meanings are in that one sentence and i guarantee you will be astounded