21st century

>21st century
>2017
>man has stepped on the moon
>man has sent an object to interstellar space
>man has discovered ways to precisely edit DNA
>still hasn't found a less gross way to clean himself other than spreading poop over a wider surface area

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wet_wipe
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

But we have.

This is one of the worst parts about being American. They don't have the audacity to let me have a clean butthole after they fuck it.

This and:
>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wet_wipe

Just be glad there's not some kind of environmental movement against toilet paper yet.

>tfw Americans might bring bidets back to "fashion" in the next decade
>all becase of stupid Reddit memes
Please stop this madness.

if you eat right your shit will just slide out with almost no wiping needed

>He doesn't use the 3 seashells

>he doesn't know how to use the three seashells

I think the ideal solution would be one of those squat toilets built into the shower. You could take an indian-style shit, and shower immediately afterwards, for maximum efficiency (this of course assumes that you can time your shits to be at the time when you would normally shower).

you might as well just shit in the toilet and then get in shower

Yeah, but you'd risk some shit dripping on the floor while you're walking from the toilet to the shower.

lol wat? that is not a risk at all

I use a shataf.

Doesn't apply to Japs. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan

>21st century
Prepare for the world of Eudemonia (NSFW).

>he doesn't shit in the morning, then immediately shower

The whole point of shitting in the shower is that you don't wipe, you use the water to wash your bum. If you stood up from the toilet without wiping after a particularly nasty shit, you'd risk it dripping on the floor.

>If you stood up from the toilet without wiping after a particularly nasty shit, you'd risk it dripping on the floor.
i can't even imagine how nasty your shits are that this is a risk

Usually they're pretty nice, but you never know when you're gonna have one of the bad shits.

Has nothing to do with surface area..

Think about what happens when getting peanut butter or most pasty substances off of a shirt with a dry cloth :)

>he only shits once a day

disgusting

I only eat once a day

Just get a squatty potty so your shit doesn’t smear around your asshole.

Shitting once a day is perfectly normal. If you shit more than once a day there's probably something wrong with your eating habits or digestion.

go make a thread in Veeky Forums with that as the opening. You'd literally get shit on.

I'm American and I legit have no idea how a bidet works. How do you use them? Do you sit over it like a toilet?

I poop probably six times per day. I'm pooping as i write this. It's noon and I've already shat three times.

>Slav crouch on top of it
>Grab the bidet extension cord
>Plug one end into the tap and another into your ass
>Turn the bidet on
Simple as that, amerifat.

>I eat prunes only.
You might want to review your diet.

you pump the water up your ass

>bidets
>out of fashion
wait, what?

>not using the 3 shells
you realize the XXI century has started a while ago?

as if that means anything