I've been growing cucumbers for about a month now. What am I doing wrong?

Holy kek you made my morning

tfw my dick curves back at me fully erect.

This is why blue apron is so great. Hypochondriac spergs shopping at the grocery store finger fuck every god damm piece on display until half the stuff us mushy and gouged with fingernail marks.

At least with BA the stuff gets to you sorted by someone who is just doing a job and is in relatively decent unmolested condition.

i'm growing cucumbers right now too OP, the first one is pretty close to the ground maybe ill get a bendy one too

They are supposed to look like this.
Originally it is called "snake cucumber" (or something to that effect), and the ones you get in the store has been genetically altered for logistical reasons.