Serious Question: If all the authors of the Western canon were dropped into a battle royale to fight to the death who...

Serious Question: If all the authors of the Western canon were dropped into a battle royale to fight to the death who would win?

quality post
might have well as made a hunger games thread

Like on merit of their writing, or who would successfully kill the others?

Ovid, then Mini-shima

If by west you mean intercontinental west then Emily Dickinson by a landslide. Everyone would curl up in fetal position, each contemplating existence and the futile endevours of life.

Wait I'm being silly... she's from New England. Not Common wealth

Hemingway for sure
in both areas

And in a drinking contest

defo

>an insecure sissy who wrote some of the dullest books ever full of muh manliness overcompensation
>would beat anyone in anything

And a suicide contest.

tom wolfe

I did not win Pour Le Merite for nothing, you know?

>Ovid
It's spelled Ovidius.

One of the Greeks, I imagine. Plato was a big guy.

Ovid is a commonly accepted way to spell his name, user.

The don't have guys. Also,
>for you

guns*

When did pic related happen

Cervantes, when he had both hands

>former soldier
>nationalist
>psychically unstable after reading kant
>violent fantasies
>suicidal
be careful

This guy is basically a worse Junger
Junger would take it.

It may be a sincere question, user, but it's definitely not a serious one.

...

Plato for sure. He could wrestle with the best of them

obvious answer

Marcus Aurelius hands down.

για σενα