What unironic cliches and literary sins are you guilty of

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

might as well give him a nobel, we gave one to a fucking singer, so might as well drop the bar to king fare.

Bob Dylan deserved it more than p much anybody though.

"No."

Sodomy.

tricolon

If they really wanted to give it to a songwriter, it should have been Cohen.

>I genuinely think Stephen King is one of the best contemporary American writers living
Why do I still come here.

Don't worry m8, they aren't being serious. They're literally all Canadian. You wonder why leaves get a bad rep around here.

They also don't stay for long, only the phonefags do.

masterbated to lolita

I literally think that my unfinished novel (first writing project) will be a masterpiece, and even though I expect nobody will appreciate it as such, I think that will be their fault not mine.

>i think my first writing project is a masterpiece
The answer to the question of whose fault it would be to not appreciate it is also answered with the following question: how much have you read?

autobiography

I referenced Veeky Forums in my high school senior year research paper

I wasnt used to actually writing seriously about something outside of anonymously posting it here, so i can get pretty carried away.

it had context to the topic of technology harming society, so it wasnt just edgy faggotry.

I don't actually read any books. I just name drop whatever gets talked about most here when im picking up chicks to make me sound intelligent and interesting.

How the fuck does this plan pan out in any way?

Does anyone actually know the answer to that question? I'm (probably) not autistic, and I don't keep a log book.

I CAN say that I've read nearly every peanuts strip ever written.

I have my own taste in literature, ranging from a few books sometimes mentioned on here to books that would be considered "pleb" or "DUDE WEED LMAO."

>I have my own taste in literature
Nah, that just sounds like MY taste, desu

You don't have to keep a "log book" to have an approximate knowledge of how much you've read.
>I CAN say that I've read nearly every peanuts strip ever written.
I guess we know who is to blame when your "masterpiece" is universally panned. But considering that low-brow books are the most lucrative, the critical opprobrium might serve to increase sales

How much have you read, user?

>I guess we know who is to blame when your "masterpiece" is universally panned.
Charles M. Schultz, of course.

I believe that The Wheel of Time is full of useful "coming of age" realizations that most young adolescents would benefit from.

I found the way characters learned to cope with loss, grief, abuse, fear, etc all very insightful.

It paralleled a lot of my experiences growing up in an abusive home and the thought processes I developed so that I wouldn't be bitter with the world or myself.

For this, I can excuse all of its faults.

In my twenty two years of life, probably between five hundred and one thousand books, which is a piss poor number. I have seen many more films, which is why I stick to writing scripts

Outsider here, you genuinely seem retarded.

I guess that's what I deserve for posting honestly on Veeky Forums

muh atonement

Not being funny, but are you NEET?

No, I have two jobs.

in-betweener here
>In my twenty two years of life
trying too hard to fluff up completely utilitarian text

Not all of your responses need to be artsy and insightful, especially if it means you have to pull stupid pointless stuff like that

>500 to 1000
>piss poor number
If you think reading 500 books is piss poor, you need to get out more or I need to get new friends

...

Ok then, two follow up questions:
1. Are both of your jobs book reviewer?
2. Do you have any friends?

Not trying to be, this is Veeky Forums, I wouldn't publish any of this. I understand that I sound like a pompous dildo. That's a psychological defense mechanism that I use to help me say self-deprecating things. I do feel poorly about only having read five hundred or so books when I can read three hundred pages in ten hours (again, not very much, I am probably retarded to some degree).

Neither to the first and yes to the second

If hating on yourself for achievements is retarded, then yes, you are. Ok, you got your attention, now go kys

>Not trying to be
If you just talk like that in real life, you legit have problems.

Anyone who talks like they post on Veeky Forums has problems.

>invented the "nigger/trigger" thing

Whoa a true revolutionary

>implying everybody has to pretend to be somebody they aren't

Do you never shitpost?

Anime is better than literature unless you're a pseud.

Yeah, I do, but 99% of what I post isn't

I also don't say "that's what I get for being honest" after the post

Then you say things on Veeky Forums you wouldn't say elsewhere, i.e. pretend to be someone you aren't.

>implying I normally shitpost

I still feel embarrassed for myself when I write "serious" prose

That's not implied by the previous statement. Even if you only did it once, you still have engaged in the pretense

I'm referencing
because shitposting is not how I post on Veeky Forums

completely agree. I stopped trying to write seriously since I couldn't help but shred/destroy/bury anything somewhat serious I wrote. Now I just make complete nonsense and post it on critique threads.

>only 1% of his posts are shitposts
You really need to get your priorities straight, user. You're not going to get too many (you)s like that

>he needs anonymous internet irony points

But you admitted that you did it 1% of the time, if you're , which means that if you talk like that 1% of the time IRL, you have 1% (some sort) of a problem. I don't talk like I shitpost, I wouldn't expect that you do either

Honestly, I think I say about the same sort of stuff IRL to friends that I shitpost about on Veeky Forums (pretty low intensity shitposts).

Then you engage in low intensity ironic pretentiousness when you're with friends. If that works in your society, that's great, I find that it puts people off after a while.

I shitpost much harder, so obviously I don't go around shouting "FUCKING NIGGER KIKE SPOOK IDEOLOGY"

>he doesn't realize that anonymous internet irony points are the main purpose of this board
user...

I hope you're not dissing that art though. It's one of my favourites by him.

this quite honestly

...Being bad?

idk man I'm just trying to get good.

elaborate

I write terrible poetry

I read "pathetic fallacy" and think "bad attempt at lying"

I don't read women because I don't value what they think, and don't believe they are capable of true artistry

This

this

>not pinecone
let's be honest they were just trying to grab headlines for their increasingly irrelevant little award.

I was of a similar mind and then I read a few women that really impressed me. And then I realised they were all lesbians.

My sex scenes end with the female having an ahegao face, and declarations of "you're the best".

>a fucking leaf

I once wrote, without any skill or talent, poetry to a woman and to this day it haunts me deeply.

I skimread everything.

you would be amazed at how absolutely surface level people are

I'll explain using one exemplar (most series airing in a season will be absolutely forgettable, but so will most books):
Eureka Seven is a masterpiece extending multiple genres, showing great respect for the primary genre (mecha) itself while also taking the genre to relatively new heights. It's a war drama that connects the nuclear bombing of Japan to WWII to Vietnam to the Iraq war (which began shortly before the series began). It has an incredibly paced romance plot which begins as superficial but develops into one that changes the whole of existence (and is imprinted on the damn moon). It's a Bildungsroman which deals with the maturating of a boy and a girl, and an entire cast and planet, as they realize the truth behind their exodus 10,000 years before, and that the planet they left then is the planet they are on now (and are destroying).
It also has an incredible soundtrack, and the few action episodes have both great action and development.
It in every way captures a generation, but also the spirit of change, loss, and belonging.
The series is the perfect Gesamtkunstwerk from which one can draw as much or as little depth as they want. There is a huge dynamic between the regular episode, which many complain are too slow or dull, and the 'peak' episodes that typically occur at the end of a cour, which are completely enticing. The ending itself somehow pulls off a complete Deus ex Machina without leaving the viewer unsatisfied. The ending, in my opinion, is better because of it -- it's not a hopeless tragedy, it's a bright and wonderful world despite the tragedy.

It rivals the Bible in the impact it has left on me. I wasn't even religious before I saw it, the series made me convert. It's been 12 years since it first aired, and I love it more every time I look into it more or rewatch it totally. There's one messy episode out of 50, but even that is crucial.

Forgot a point:
One is a pseud if they think medium or originality are key factors in determining the quality of a piece. There is a huge amount of trash novels and poetry, likely more now than ever due to increasing literacy, more people, and online publishing. Nothing bothers me more than people deluding themselves into notions of 'purity of medium' or something similar, as if good literature has ever been about being 'true' or 'pure' to its medium, form, or genre. Or, as if good literature has ever been about intellectual masturbation, rather than the power of its expression and ideas.

Literature has tried to be multi-sensory, especially in the 20th century, but there are simply too many limitations. And if one thinks the purpose is impressing the mind rather than the senses, what makes the mind a better sense than the others? Good literature is often erotic, sonorous, somehow tactile and imaginative at times too. Claiming that this must all be confined to text is ridiculous. It is completely arbitrary and perverse.

>I like Blood Meridian and think McCarthy is one of the greatest living authors at this time.

>I haven't read the greeks yet

>Though Tolkein's work is great, when it comes to actual adventure stories i feel those who ripped him off did a better job

>Lovecraft has scared me

Most people on Veeky Forums are in the same boat except for the Tolkien and Greeks thing. It's just Corncob shitposters are more vocal than McCarthy fans and Lovecraft isn't talked as much here as he is elsewhere.

Idk man, the weather is part of the scene, if you're going to include a detail it should be meaningful.

As long its not hamfisted and out of place using weather as a device is fine. I mean...
>The Dead

I barely read any fiction, and yet I only write fiction. Maybe that's why my writing is so bad.

fair point sir, but then, it's not anime, its audiovisual. And why dont you choose vidya then? While you enjoy everything audiovisual has to offer you, you participate in it

really nigga, sigh...

I don't read posts that don't have images attached.

>The Dead
Such an amazing short story. I have that entire weather quote memorized

1.) i sometimes knowingly give opinions and make generalised points about subjects I have little to no knowledge about like a pseud

2.) Become a contrarian if I don't like the way something is said or who it's said by. Pretty embarrassing tbqh

I view my main characters more as imaginary friends rather than tools to further the plot.

I didn't read this post

I used to be the guy at house parties in Brooklyn talking with an obnoxious air of self importance about books, and yet I had nothing interesting to really say about them.

I read philosophy mostly for self-help

I ought to be embarrassed by how much this series affected me, but fuck it, I'm not.

>It's not a sin

Lol, okay

The sad thing is that I can totally believe you could get better results by pretending to know about books than by actually knowing those same books. I can rarely have actually insightful conversations about books with girls, and literally no girl ever has been interested in any of the nonfiction that I read.

All the ones I've talked to are only interested in reading contemporary lit, going out of their way to read female/gay/black authors, or digging up "insights" on contemporary social issues from old books that have nothing to do with those issues.

>the film adaption

This is me, although I did read wiki/sparknotes articles about most relevant works so I generally know enough shit to follow a conversation about them without purely relying on improvisation.

No need to keep a log but it should be easy to tell whether you read 20+, 50+, 200+ or more than 500 books without paying too much attention to it.

Why should it be easy, Satan? I honestly have no fucking clue.

>I do feel poorly about only having read five hundred or so books when I can read three hundred pages in ten hours (again, not very much
Kys, smug retard