Limerick Thread

ITT: Your favourite limericks, or your attempt at one.

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill can hold more than his beli-can.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week
But I’m damned if I see how the heli-can.
-Ogden Nash

user lives in hell: rhymes with fortune
of sane detainees, there's no portion
despite his longing to leave,
to this slum must he cleave
o! my mom should've had an abortion

A strapping young nerd name of Hector
Was quite fond of the launcher-erector
The squishes and pops
Of acute pressure drops
Wrecked Hector's hydraulic connector

retard-tier
excellent

Is English your second language? You don't seem to understand meter at all.

Han's pussy was tight.
Pat was feeling alright.
Please, will you use oil?
With my virginity you will spoil.
Alas, she was handed a pillow to bite.

i speak a couple of languages but english is my first. opie said he wanted an attempt; i make no claims to poetic greatness. see if this is better:

a place filled with pretense was Veeky Forums
they posted memes, aped opinions—not wit
and i will bet my left cheek
they don't know ancient greek
yet still have the nerve to cry: "shit taste desu senpai"

That was a cue not to post again, not embarrass yourself further.

There once was a man named McSweeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Not to be couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini.