Times Veeky Forums helped us in real life

ITT we share times that Veeky Forums helped us in real life, here, I'll start:

>be today
>be in interview for STEM job I really want
>small company
>interview with Argentine owner
>gets phone call
>"Sorry, this is my brother from back home, I'll tell him that I have to call him back"
>"[insert cordial Argentine translation of the above]"
>Me: "Was that Spanish or Argentinian Spanish?
>"Argentine, do you know it?"
>"No, I just read a book by this guy named Borges last week and he spoke it"
>"You know Borges? I use to live in the same city as him"?
>holyshit
>Talk about Borges and Argentina for a bit
>ends up offering me the job at the end of the interview
>I accept
>mfw I only read this book cause Veeky Forums hyped it so hard

Thank you guys so much. This sounds like bullshit but it actually happened to me at 9AM this morning.

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>be 10 years ago
>read myth of Sisyphus by Albear Cahmoo
>depressed ever since

You proved that you were more than the typical emotionally stunted man child STEMlord with no human depth. Now please use your science powers for good and not evil like designing smaller airline leg room.

Step 2: Convert to Islam and start shooting up infidels. That is the only solution for you.

>be me
>former sperg and general cuck loser
>only had two girlfriends
>both have cheated on me
>first one was with her ex
>second girl was with my best friend
>every girl im interested in doesnt reciprocate the feeling
>last one told me, in a drunken state, that i was not her age type and look like im 15
>friend overdosed on heroin a few months back and died
>im a manlet
>only friends are equally lonely dudes who i play vidya with once a week in their parents basement
>read steppenwolf
>dont kill myself

>dont kill myself
Don't worry, you will get there champ.

>>"You know Borges? I use to live in the same city as him"?
Yeah, and 12 million people live there too, in Buenos Aires

Don't worry user, you'll make it mate.

He actually knew him, before he was "famous" and before he went blind. Apparently they were neighbors/loose friends. Also stop shitting on the positive attitude of my story, and this thread.

>recently read Portrait
>discussing it on Veeky Forums
>learn what a bildungsroman is
>take AP exam
>"This passage is likely taken from a ..."
>mfw when it's a bildungsroman

I'm sorry I must be lost. I didn't realize this was Oprahs Online Book Club. I was looking for Veeky Forums.

>>only had two girlfriends
pls tell me this was only a joke

Well, that´s something else. Living in the same city is nothing special. I´ve been there and i´m not telling people that i´ve been on the same ciy as Borges.
Also, i suppose he´s quite old since Borges went blind like in 1955.

Holy fuck, can you imagine knowing a writer as influential as Borges? If I was that owner I wouldn't be able to shut up about the fact that Jorge Borges knew me.

He's in his eighties, but he's still completely lucid, well spoken, etc.

I was surprised at how blithely/nonchalantly he was talking about it. If I had known Borges I would have probably (insufferably) name dropped him at any given chance

Me too, i would never shut up about it. Just hearing him talk in interviews is an experience.
I imagine that every rich or important person around the age of your boss that live in Buenos Aires knew Borges to some degree. He was very sociable i think,(and very open about writers he didn´t like, too) and held some important positions in government.

>be visiting Dublin and taking a tour bus
>the Irish bus driver providing commentary asks over the PA if anybody on board has read Ulysses
>I raise my hand
>"Uh-oh! Best watch out everybody, because PROFESSOR YANK here has read Ulysses"
>"All hail the might intellect of PROFESSOR YANK, who has sat down, and yes, read every dense and allegorical page of James Joyce's modernist masterpiece, Ulysses"
>everybody on the bus is now staring at me
>whenever he stops the bus to point out a literary landmark he runs it by me, "the professor"
>"say professor, do recognize that building over there?"
>I don't know and shrug
>"Sorry folks, I guess PROFESSOR YANK hasn't done his homework! That building to our right is of course the iconic hotel where Nora Barnacle, James Joyce's muse, worked as a chambermaid for a number of years. Not to worry, I'm sure PROFESSOR YANK will get the next one"
>this continues for an hour and half
>the Dutch girls in the back of the bus are laughing at me and making fun of the flat cap I bought on Grafton street
>when I finally get off at Kilmainham Gaol the entire bus cheers
>as he's closing the doors, the driver says over the intercom "See you next term, PROFESSOR YANK"
Thanks Veeky Forums

BTFO

I'm dying

Dam

kekking hard user

...

>Me: "Was that English or Australian English?
>"Australese, do you know it?"
>"No, I just read a book by this guy named Ringo Digeridoo last week and he spoke it"

At the same time I want it to be true and not to be true.

>the Dutch girls in the back of the bus are laughing at me and making fun of the flat cap I bought on Grafton street

>See you next term, PROFESSOR YANK

wow, kind of a dick thing to do. least now i know to keep some notes on hand if a bus driver in dublin ever asks if i've read Joyce.

>Was that Spanish or Argentinian Spanish?
>Borges spoke Argentine in his book
huh

Rioplatense Spanish is a dialect of the Spanish language spoken mainly in the areas in and around the Río de la Plata Basin of Argentina and Uruguay.

one of the best things i've read on Veeky Forums in a long time

>bowl up to girl in nature walk
>learn she's french
>Say 'I like french literature.'
>talk about it, get to Zola's Germinal
>I'm reading that at the moment she says
>chat more
>next day she visits
>fuck no condom cum on her tits
>fuck all the following day too

Sounds fun user

You know Ringo Didgeridoo? I cracked open a few tinnies with that cunt last week!

best post on Veeky Forums

>be on job interview I am woefully under qualified for.
>drop names of made-up books/authors I've been "reading" to prepare
>spout pseudobusiness terms
>use phrases like autodidacticism and autonomy
It's called the Peter Princepal Veeky Forums and it's how ALL business works, fail upward anons!

...

Veeky Forums convinced me to take a philosophy class and I got a gf out of it.
STEM is 100% a meme

>see the hottest girl ever on dating site
>notice she's likes Proust
>send her lengthy message about Mickey Mouse copyright laws barring an new translation to the US
>spout some of my favorite quotes, something about the Irish and souls and lost objects being found
>meet
>11/10
>amazing sex
>begin leaving her romantic gifts alla Swann
Threatens me with a restraining order.

How can one bus driver be so based?

Include me in the screencap

>That building to our right is of course the iconic hotel where Nora Barnacle, James Joyce's muse, worked as a chambermaid for a number of years.

you should have piped right up with "Oh, sure , I know Nora Barnacle. That was the girl he used to fuck the farts out of!"

bet that would've shut those Dutch girls up.

Was it Eamon Dunphy?

fucking kek

Saw this post on /r/Veeky Forums and just had to come check Veeky Forums out

Welcome! This was posted on reddit? Epic win! Whoever posted it there wins the internet forever!

you're stupid.

I put fucking satire because I had no idea what bildungsroman was.
It seemed reasonable because she spent the entire passage calling her family useless cunts.
feelsbadman, 4 inc

>girl
stop stalking traps, marcel

>have horribly crippling depression and my typically sources of anesthetizing entertainment aren't cutting it anymore
>start browsing Veeky Forums as well as around 10 other boards
ill make it a bit longer

Yes, user I'm sure this happened to you.

if u want it to get better, u have to make it better

happiness doesn't just fall into your lap. A lot of happy people that I know found and worked for reasons to be happy. All these lazy, depressed people I see on this board seem to have the belief that they deserve to be happy without working for it.

>human depth
*sniffs slavically*

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

5 star post

Portrait is a Kuenstlerroman (lit. artist-novel). It is also a Bildungsroman (lit. education-novel), which contains the sub-category of Kuenstlerroman.
Your offence is just as severe as calling Waiting for Godot a comedy.

Fucking high schoolers.

have you ever thought that some of us work towards happiness and continue to meet with failure?

>helped

what other boards

top bants

is this your subtle way of saying "do a flip"? bad user

Veeky Forums, Veeky Forums, Veeky Forums, /soc/, /pol/, /cm/, /mu/

i think youre wrong

this post made my day

I started reading David Foster Wallace because Veeky Forums memed him hard. I guess his writing style rubbed off on me because one of my English professors at my shitty community college told me that my writing reminds her of his. We started talking about literature a lot and she wrote me a letter of rec, which helped me get into Cornell. I start this fall. Thanks, Veeky Forums.

Jesus Christ I'm dying

nice post

i didn't want to read such a long piece of shit, but that was worth it, shit was rad af

fuck

>alla

hu

>falling for the ivy meme

>read random post while scrolling through Veeky Forums
>the book ends up being the answer to Final Jeopardy the next day

Happens all the time. I don't even read books, but I get to look smart.

Could this really happen?

>See 10/10 in the library
>THICC
>I say hi and ask for a name
>"Do you wanna take a walk with me?"
>Disgusting librarian watches me and the 10/10 coming
>Looks at the 10/10
>"Ulysses huh? Is that for a class or something?
>Put the book down and walk out without saying anything.
>Two weeks later I fuck the librarian.

Thanks lit.

Try imagining Sisyphus happy you dumbfuck.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZhKGtgcZghc

Bitch I am 27 and I never even kissed a girl on the lips in my life.

jesus fucking christ

I sucked a girl's dick once.

>calling him a normalfag when you've had two girlfriends
Not only do I want you to get off my board, I want you to leave the internet you fucking normalfag cunt.

Professor Yank enjoys a good wank.

go with him you samefag faggot.

Get fucked dickhead.

I'll get fucked before you ever do you spineless little cocksucker.

Yeah take that tranny cock you fuckwit.

mfw ive only had two girlfriends back in highschool 6 years ago

Raising your hand for anything will never be the same famalam

>russian professor in technician program
>we talk about russian literature
>I only knew war and peace :/

I don't get it? Would probably sue the tour bus company desu. He's a bus driver, not a comedian.

Only a insecure little cunt would sue over being made fun of.

I know it makes your skin crawl, but it's probably a bit of autism on the poster's part. He makes it out like some malicious hate mongering, when it was probably light ribbing that he was too self important to laugh at.

>tour guide singles you out for the whole trip because you answered a question he asked
>let him get away with it

No

Waiting for godot is a comedy

>It's okay to fucking tear someone apart anonymously but do it to my face and I'll cry cry cry.

Learn to laugh, you self righteous little cunt. Why even visit Ireland if you don't like how the people are.

>repeat the same joke over and over again
>at the same guy
>for the whole trip
>lol learn to laugh dude
>lol its just the Irish that's how they are
Britain clearly didn't go far enough with them then

>Obviously ribbing
>Crying not because of what he said but *GASP* because girls you would never fuck anyway were laughing.
>so insecure about your manhood that the girls bother you more than the driver.
>Prove the driver right that you are a little baby and can't handle it.

Cry more. And don't go to another country if you can't handle banter.

Would you cry if an Australian called you a cunt?

It's pretty much why the world including other parts of the anglosphere actually hate America.

Do you mean that Americans constantly visit places and don't like them because they aren't like America?

No, The problem is the Driver showing his lack of professionalism. You're there to drive a bus and point things out to people

>its another Inferior countries hate America because they're so terrible episode
lmao europoors honestly what went wrong?

Pretty much.
I do not hold any European nationality but I have European blood. Bet you're a complete mutt that has various races in him.

American bus drivers do the same thing. Sometimes they like to play around with people.

Keep in mind he stayed on for an hour and a half, and got off when his dick felt small because the GIRLS, not the driver.

God damn it's like dad jokes. And also, a bus driver is not a professional. He's there to drive the bus and be entertaining.

When did my fellow American become such a limp wristed pussy.?

America has the same problem with whiny Europeans though. They don't like America yet they are there in America for whatever fucking reason.

All people do. But not nearly on the same scale as the Americans.