What do I need to read to read this?

Start with his website.

Why is something like this treated as a joke but Infinite Jest is considered a masterpiece? Serious question.

You have to read Elliot Rodgers first.

Bee Movie tier joke, chief

Plato's 'Symposium'
Desiderius Erasmus's 'Handbook of a Christian Knight'
Heinrich Kramer and Jacob Sprenger's 'Malleus Maleficarum'
'Introduction to Algorithms' (1990 Edition)
'The Complete Bubsy Transcripts' (1999 Edition)
The Complete Collection of Sonic X comics
A full playthrough of Final Fantasy 12

Technically nothing, the book has an explanation of how the RPG system used works, you just need an appreciation of Uli and how his brain works to enjoy it. It's certainly a wild ride of a book.

...

reddit

The complete works of Plato, A Critique of Pure Reason, The World as Will and Representation and of course a complete playthrough of Final Fantasies 1-10.

Anyone have any excerpts?

some extra napkins to degrease your pizza with

its worth reading desu- just get the ebook

>just get the ebook
link?

3 bucks on amazon
probably can find it for free

test

Knuckles resembles a human, but with differences. Knuckles is neither male nor female, though referred to as a "he". Three-quarter-inch-thick dark-violet-colored (FFA000E0) fur covers his entire body. He is only 25 1/3 inches tall, 4 inches wide and 2.5 inches deep. Knuckles gets his name from his large hands, 40% bigger than a human his size would have. A reflective, glittery greenish (FFA0FF00) haze a half millimeter across borders his pupil. Knuckles has no nose and a mouth 2/3 as big. Every other aspect of his is that of what a human would have for his size.

Knuckles casts "heal11" on the fallen waiter. A brief-case-like first-aid kit 18 inches long by 12 inches tall and 3 inches deep fades on over the waiter in a half second. In red, and centered, "first aid kit" is written above a "plus" sign. After a hald second, the kit opens in a half second revealing various things found in first-aid kits like band-aids and various medications. The kit remains open for one second and fades away in a half second. When the spell's effects start, a green "cardiac arrest" and "flu" pop out of the waiter and he gets up as if nothing happened. Knuckles casts "cure" on the waiter. A green "257" pops out.

_________________

The most interesting thing about his writing style is how he needs to give units of measurement for everything. Like he can't just say shot , it needs to be "25 1/3 inches tall, 4 inches wide and 2.5 inches deep", it can't just be briefly it has to be "for one second and fades away in a half second".

retard

Waitress: Would you like anything to drink?
Ivan: Mountain Dew or Mello Yello, whichever you have.
Tu: I want what you get when two atoms of hydrogen covalently bond with one of oxygen. That is, water.
Tyler: Sprite or 7Up, whichever you have.
Knuckles: I never need to drink anything, nor eat anything.
Waitress: Do you know what you want to order?
Knuckles: Ivan and Tu won a free, one-topping medium pizza.
Knuckles takes a coupon out of his chest and hands it over.
Knuckles: Erik Ramstead Middle School gave two of these to them at the graduation party.
Waitress: Okay. What do you want to order?
Ivan: I want a plain cheese pizza, thin crust. I'm a vegetarian - I hate meat.
Tyler: I want a thin-crust pepperoni pizza. Could I have an extra topping of pepperoni, though?
Waitress: You'll have to pay for the extra toppings beyond what the coupons allow.
Tu: I guess I'll go with pepperoni as well. Then again, split it between half cheese and half pepperoni. Although I would prefer thick crust, I wouldn't mind going with a thin crust.
Knuckles: Basically, then, have one pizza a cheese-only and the other as pepperoni. Tu will get one third of each while the others get two-thirds of their type. That way, it's fairly split and easier to make. I'll pay for the second pizza, drinks and the extra topping.
Tu: I can agree with that. You're smart!

>The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters - Nick Smith (aka "ulillillia") [2008] [pdf]
www.sendspace.com/file/8upszd

>The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters - Nick Smith (aka "ulillillia") [2008] [epub]
www.sendspace.com/file/d7zptl

>Tu: I want what you get when two atoms of hydrogen covalently bond with one of oxygen. That is, water.

kek

HTML colour code chart
K&R - The C Programming Language
Pizza Hut menu
Ulillillia dream diary
Baudrillard - Simulacra and Simulation
12x12 multiplication table

A manual for diagnosing and treating autism.

can someone please post the timelapse scene

this, also a eating regiment of hamburger helper sans hamburger and degreased pizzas to attune yourself to ulillillian dietary conditions.

start with the greeks, continue with the romans

All you have to do is get famous.

Ulillillia is the saddest case of autism I've ever seen. He's clearly intelligent, he's clearly a good person, but he's got crippling, insurmountable autism.

>drink water from plastic bottles for years
>not any more of an autist than I was before I started doing this
>not a hermaphrodite

don't buy into this meme guys

>What do I need to read to read this?
The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters.

It's a legitimately good book.

Doesn't he seem kind of satisfied in his autism though?

Someone like Chris-chan is tortured by his autisim, he wants women he can't get, he has some kind of gender-dysphoria he barely understands, he has all these grandiose ideas of himself that don't match reality.

Ulillillia seems kind of happy just playing the same level of Bubbsy 3D over and over for 500 hours and keeping spreadsheets of his dreams.

Not autism.

It's just social isolation + a heavy case of OCD.

>Doesn't he seem kind of satisfied in his autism though?
Fuck no. He thinks he has a serious mental illness and tries to overcome whatever problems he has. He knows his illness is dragging other people down, because finding work is very difficult, but he still tries anyway.

This is because he's just a normal person with fucked-up irrational compulsions.
Exactly.

Nick doesn't have autism. He has severe OCD. You faggots would actually know that if you didn't just label anything "different" as autism. Fucking retards.

That said, it's a pretty good book.

Uli has had a job for like two years and lives with friends now dude. He's made it.

I strongly believe he shows classic signs of autism, or at least Asperger Syndrome.

1. Difficulty in social situations (see his descriptions of his school days)
2. Little interest in the outside world, but knows his interests in obsessive detail (video games, has over 500 hours in one level of Bubsy 3D)
3. Only eats certain foods
4. Great mathematical ability
5. Speaks in a long winded, monotone way
6. Irrational likes/fears (likes dreaming of being submerged in mud, scared of mirrors and stairs and blue water)
7. Sticks to a rigid daily routine
8. Makes lists of things to help him understand them
9. Has a complex imaginary world/friends he prefers over the real one (his "mind game")
10. Shows no apparent interest in sex/relationships
11. Hates/fears showering
12. Obsession with Sonic the Hedgehog (okay this isn't a "classic" sign but come on, well all know it strongly correlates with autism)

Damn, so *that* is what. Huh.

Does Veeky Forums degrease their pizzas?

youtube.com/watch?v=H2A1qYpp4HA

He is literally not autistic. He has actual, non-meme OCD.

A lot of those things are caused by OCD. And, apparently a psychiatrist has determined he has OCD but not autism, and although psychiatrists can be wrong, I'd believe them over some faggot who's read some things from some other faggot.

That said, OCD is linked to autism (and ADHD IIRC).

i remember when this first came out and i bought a copy, it was one of my proudest purchases ever at the time

mostly for the excerpt at alone

He isn't obsessed with Sonic. He enjoys numbers and watching them go higher, and drowning Tails. He doesn't give a damn about Sonic.

The rest of your stuff isn't even weird. He also has a great interest in the outside world but can't really get to those areas (save for the past three years and hopefully in the future). He doesn't hate showering. He hates being cold. He also also doesn't stick to a daily routine. Who the hell are you even talking about with a lot of this stuff?

Most of the video game "obsession" came from the fact that he didn't have too many video games in the first place so would just replay and replay them for a long time. The only thing I would consider weird with Nick is that he listens to video game music constantly and at different speeds, but you enjoy what you enjoy.

>Being afraid of mirrors, water (but only if it's blue), and stairs
>The rest of your stuff isn't even weird.

thank you user

>that preface
What the fuck is this? No seriously, why the fuck would you write such a preface? Is the whole book like this? Just autistic ramblings?

Yes that's the whole book. What did you expect?

I saw OP's pic and thought it would be satire

No, it's ulillillia

It's OCD. I'll give that you the fear of mirrors is weird. To be fair though, he acknowledges that a lot of his fears are irrational but due to OCD he still gives in. He's getting better though. Way better.

>and stairs
I always used to run up stairs quickly because I thought that cats shot laser beams out of their eyes at the backs of anyone they saw going up stairs.

i didn't expect this to be so disgusting

next time I go out with anyone and the time comes to order I will say "I never need to drink anything, nor eat anything."

That's fucking depressing and autistic at the same time.

It's legit, though.

>Knuckles casts teleport and everything appears 3000 feet above a rural area near the ocean outside Lagos, Nigeria. The ground, upon arriving, cracks apart. Eight seconds later, it caves in revealing an endless area of dense lightning strikes and sparks that cannot be made out individually. They are generally blue-white (FFD0D0FF) with a few yellow-white (FFFFD0D0) or blue (FFA0A0FF). The visibility through them is only two feet. They are so bright, 40,000 lumens, that, when in camera view, everything else darkens (from the camera adjusting).

>Two seconds pass and the battlefield rumbles for a bit from a massive explosion, about 3.8 on the Richter scale. After another second, a bigger rumble occurs, twice as powerful, at 4.1. The scene changes to where Tu and Tyler are. A lot of water comes raining down hard, like 65 dBZ on Doppler radar.

>Very few walk on the vehicle-free, light gray (FFA0A0A0) roads. The team appears in the west-southwest edge of the city at "138.2X, -43.3Y" where someone stands four meters in front.

>The white background suddenly changes to that of a scene 50 meters above the Golden Gate Bridge... Ten miles west, barely visible, is a large ship hauling several containers heading toward the bridge for docking. The scenery is in true 3D. A 20 mph wind blows with cumulus humilis clouds 1/4 scattered above.

>Knuckles casts teleport and appears by the tall, male race operator on top of a wooden stand with a microphone on a small portable platform. Two speakers 16 inches tall, 9 inches wide, and 6 inches deep are on the sides of the platform in front and are aimed toward the 80 athletes nearby. The volume where the athletes are is 75 dB with the bass reduced some.

>A minute-long time lapse occurs where each second is 24 minutes. Knuckles remains inside his house at all times. The humans eat for a half second in bed then play Parcheesi and Uno on a table appearing in the house's center. Three small, fancy, cushioned, yellow (FFF0D20) chairs are around the table 120° apart. Ivan takes the northwest chair, Tu the east, and Tyler the southwest. The two-feet-in-diameter table has a fancy frosted glass top. Parcheesi lasts for three seconds. The humans read a book for 1.5 seconds and go to sleep. The light dims to 25 lumens, moving to the northwest corner and remains for 22 seconds. It returns to the center position and brightens to the original 1200 lumens. Breakfast is served, taking a half second, then the humans play Yahtzee for two seconds.

Daily reminder that you will never be a better descriptive writer than Uli.

>What do I need to read to read this?

Well if you read that book then you are reading it

Well yes, but why on Earth would you want to do something like that to yourself? Eating tasty junk food every once in a while shouldn't be a chore.

I'm certain the pizzas are one of his main sources of nutrition, though.

He's only been working at Wal-Mart for 6 months. Before that he lived in an apartment with his sister for a while and got some sort of rent value from cleaning but that seemed very infrequent. He hasn't moved out yet. He was supposed to in September but the friend he was supposed to move with isn't actually that interested, I think. The Wal-Mart thing is working out, though.

This is like IJ but actually interesting

What's the cheapest way to acquire a physical copy of this book?

using a school/work printer print off a copy of the pdf then putting it in a stolen c-ring binder

Kill yourself and hope to be reincarnated as one of the authors personalities.

lulu.com/shop/nick-smith/the-legend-of-the-10-elemental-masters/paperback/product-21922918.html

Kant is just an intro to this.

Nice, thanks user

I appreciate your input.

uli doesn't have multiple personalities. He's just extremely neurotic. Here are some of his issues

1. Mirrors, he can't stand being in a room with a mirror in it to the point where when his parents put a mirror in the bathroom, he stopped eating and drinking to avoid going to the bathroom.

2. Stairs, he cannot climb stairs like a human, he has to climb them on all fours.

3. Chairs, he cannot sit on chairs, though he can sit on couches and other similar furniture.

4. He cannot eat food using utensils with a handle that gradually widens, his utensils must be straight

5. Waiting in line, if he is in a line and someone gets in behind him, he will allow them to go in front of him, he doesn't like people being behind him for some reason

6. the word 'People'. Whenever he had homework assignments that used this word he scribbled it out until the word couldn't be seen before doing any work.

7. Whistling

8. The number 22

He also had some other issues, he used to be afraid of water (he thought that stepping in a puddle or pool would kill him instantly and that other children had acquired immunity through some art he had not yet been shown), ketchup, mustard, the sun, grass and shadows.

He told all kinds of stories about these old fears that were hilarious, he thought grass was like a kind of spikes in video games, and when his friend pushed him down onto the grass he thought it would kill him so he just sat there for like a half hour waiting for death before realizing that grass couldn't kill him.

Has he ever tried getting treatment for these delusions?

I can relate to some of these points.

The word "peoples" is fucking disgusting. It appalls me.
And I prefer to sit in the back of a room because I feel the constant urge to turn around and it's nice to be able to observe the entire room.

I think I like mirrors more than the average person though.

>People still try to claim Uli isn't autistic

He isn't, he has OCD, non meme OCD.

>He did not enjoy his school's lunchtime rule that the children eat three different foods, and in protest would only consume eight cubic centimeters of food (exact measurements taken with ruler).

>He once spent upwards of two hours in the room for refusing to eat the pudding his school served. According to Ulillillia, "the pudding was good," but the spoon provided failed to meet his requirements.

>By the end of 3rd Grade, he estimates that one in every thirty students was a bully to him. In 5th grade, this number increased to one in sixteen students, bringing his Exact Bully Total to 30.
>By the end of middle school, he calculates that his bully count was over 50.

Suffering is what creates great art.

OCD is an anxiety disorder that is very unpleasant for the sufferer. Do you think people with OCD enjoy doing stupid rituals like counting to 100 every night before getting into bed, or having to keep up these weird untouchable shrines that somehow represent something mystical? No they fucking hate it and are embarrassed by it. Ulillillia fucking LOVES obsessing over details. He doesn't do it because he feels he has to, he does it because he's fucking autistic as fuck.

Sure, maybe he has OCD, but he at the very least has mild autism. Counting the number of bullies he had in school is not OCD, that's fucking autistic behavior.

He has visited psychiatric professionals who have declined to diagnose him with autism. He has quite a few neurosis, some of which are pleasing to him (for example, he enjoys making a buzzing sound any time someone says the word 'cool') and others make him suffer and he resents them for that, particularly his fear of mirrors and in childhood his fear of blue water, shadows and sunlight.

I think the evaluation of several trained professionals who have one on one experience with him is more valuable than conjecture of people on the internet who have read details of his life.

>Enjoys making a buzzing sound
>Enjoys

That's not OCD. No one with OCD enjoys their compulsion, that's part of the disorder. You do things you don't want to do but feel like you have to.

I don't know what psychologist Uli got his diagnosis from, but he was probably misdiagnosed.

What's more baffling is there are a shit ton of people out there defending to the death that Uli is not autistic, yet people make rasher judgements on autism based on posts on Veeky Forums and no one says anything.

He's visited shrinks, but with OCD as bad as his he's never going to not be neurotic and most of his problems aren't THAT bad in the grand scheme of things, just odd. It surprises me he still has the fears of mirrors and sitting in chairs because it's pretty detrimental to him. A lot of his more detrimental fears like grass, water, direct sunlight and shadows he overcame on his own.

Like Uli could quite easily get some office job and be pretty good at it if he could overcome his fear of chairs.

Because DFW never spent 600+ hours playing final fantasy

youtube.com/watch?v=LElv5LHTCBE

No, it's because Wallace was idolized for years. "He writes so dense. He must be profound. And sincere."

Sounds like he has OCPD as well as OCD, I have it too and am similar in a lot of ways.

>Stairs, he cannot climb stairs like a human, he has to climb them on all fours.

kek I used to do this until I was 10

I'm really interested in finding more rare internet culture oddities like this.

Autistic stuff, Veeky Forums-related stuff, internet or gaming aesthetics, sexual derangement, weird obsessive or hyperlink or mathy or categorical logic.

So far there's:
>The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters
>Mundus Millenialis (Rei Koz)
>Behead All Satans

What else, guys? Any books /b/ made back in the day (I swear I remember some)? Or weird aspie /x/ occult guides? /pol/ manifestos? Weird meme shit? Outsider poetry?

'Legacy of Totalitarianism in a Tundra' 1, 2 and 3
'Hypersphere'
'The Philmarillion'
the more recent 'Dreamscape; Or, My Diary Desu'

dropbox.com/s/32ygs8nz3rxe11y/Meme Literature.7z?dl=0

dude, thanks so much.

is Behead All Satans in there by any chance? looking for a copy of that too.

nah couldn't find it sorry

cool, thx

Who made that A Wolf Called Boy text?

Is that just credited to Anonymous?

I think it was a collab that just wasn't posted much on Veeky Forums, they made a thread once, wrote the collab and then forgot about it and left it. I just salvaged the doc and kept it in that zip for safekeeping, it's not been edited for print, neither has The Philmarillion.

>A minute-long time lapse occurs where each second is 24 minutes. Knuckles remains inside his house at all times. The humans eat for a half second in bed then play Parcheesi and Uno on a table appearing in the house's center. Three small, fancy, cushioned, yellow (FFF0D20) chairs are around the table 120° apart. Ivan takes the northwest chair, Tu the east, and Tyler the southwest. The two-feet-in-diameter table has a fancy frosted glass top. Parcheesi lasts for three seconds. The humans read a book for 1.5 seconds and go to sleep. The light dims to 25 lumens, moving to the northwest corner and remains for 22 seconds. It returns to the center position and brightens to the original 1200 lumens. Breakfast is served, taking a half second, then the humans play Yahtzee for two seconds.
This is good though
It's worth remembering a lot of this is shit he used to do as like a ten year old. Even if he still has, say, a fear of mirrors, he only did the "so I guess I'm not going to the toilet then" thing as a dumb kid.

Thanks for saving / archiving / sharing this stuff, I really believe in doing that.

Rei Koz's ongoing text is posted up here by the way if you're interested in eventually saving a pdf of that when it's finished:

mundusmillennialis.com/

And Nick Smith's Legend of 10 Elemental Masters was up on libgen's fiction section but just got taken down. Might up a link if you're interested, although perhaps Nick didn't want it shared for free and that's fair enough.

Oh, and also here's a link to Shawn Wunjo's The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard, if you want to add that to the archive as well.

archive.org/details/pdfy-maIfVwkWLxVuMfPP

I'm sure people have better archives, I just thought it'd be worth saving them there and then so more people have copies on hand. They're worth keeping especially to look at how improvements can be done on possible future collabs. They're good fun and all but it'd be better to see one published that's actually decent as a book.