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Critique Thread
Caleb Barnes
Carson Cook
Life is but a prolonged swim in some collective afterbirth.
Being is repulsive and over-real, an ocean of organ taste.
To know and to be known, experience is a fluid exchanged mouth to mouth.
Foundering adrift amidst our own broth we are listing and lapping,
Sensory sewage secreted and sampled, eyes shut and orifices full,
Sinking and swimming, gullets brimming with the unspeakable.
Sensation is itself a thing vulgar, to share in the stew, to taste you,
Gruesome goop, gruesome group, all I come to rue, naught to know but that undue,
A common yoke these unclean masses, choking, intolerable, and interminable,
Death ever adds to the soup, our world one big vaginal vichyssoise,
Gross.
Ryan Cook
...
Hudson Moore
what the fuck did I just read
Camden Stewart
...
Ian Brown
>fucking fuck fucking fucker fuck fuck
Nope
John Ross
...
Daniel Evans
...
Mason Rogers
boohoo he said a swear. guess what? NIGGER FUCK CUNT SHIT ASS BITCH KIKE. get used to it fag.
Colton Reyes
Really?
It gets old and loses strength if you say the word in every single line.
Also, this scene is particularly boring.
Just one paragraph and kill the guy, Jesus. There's no need for all that "fuckity fucking fucker I hate you".