Tfw the library has an enforced no singles policy

>tfw the library has an enforced no singles policy

>he can't read two books at once
you should kill yourself

>tfw fart in library

just take the book you want out and pick some random trash off the shelves and instantly return it after checking out.

>tfw they have a new penis inspector in the philosophy section and she's a qt
>accidentally blow a load when she's inspecting me so I get kicked out of the library and put on a sex offender's list
>I didn't even get to pick a book

>tfw not allowed to bring my pet falcon into the library
This is bullshit. How am I supposed to read without my falcon?

the trick is to approach the penis inspector the other side of legalism in the alphabet, anontan

I like to rub my sweaty testicles upon the pages of library book. It annoys me when people say they "love the smell of books" and I derive tremendous satisfaction that for a lucky few on a rare occasion that smell of books they love is my sweaty testicles.

peregrines are allowed, i saw one in my library the other day. maybe it is a bad branch?

library books always have trace amounts of herpes and cocaine in them. good with the bad though, you know?

Mods please ban all crossboarders on sight
we need a wall

>Library won't stock Incest Rape Manga
I've put in multiple requests

>tfw had to kidnap a senile old granny off the streets to be my library date
>the guards almost found me out
It was surprisingly enjoyable. I think I'll kidnap her again.

no talking in the library. nice numbers though, i'd like to file them under the library of congress system if you know what i'm typing silently.
is it for a project?

>tfw this reminded me of childhood book where a dude tries to kidnap a girl because her parents are on the electoral roll and therefore she can apply for a library card
>he's been having a terrible time trying to get a library card, not being on the electoral roll
i didn't ask for this feel but i'll take it and maybe read it again

>back in highschool
>at the library during lunch break
>unintentionally streak my finger across the desk I'm sitting at
>makes a loud farting sound
>notice two girls look over their shoulders at me and giggle at each other
>been ten years since then and still remember it

this is why you must be quiet in library, anonkun. i hope you learned.

You can sue the library if you claim the falcon is a therapy animal. Thats how I got to bring my ant farm into the library.

Do you think that the library will let me bring in some buttered crab legs?

Well you better not try to bring any non-buttered crab legs, that's for sure!

if you promise to stick to maigret and poirot

>Want to get a library card
>The library is like a 40 minute walk and I dont have a car
Why would I take a 40 minute walk when amazon delivers the books right to my door?

you stole our meme you unimaginative faggots
t. /tv/

what third world "democracy" do you live in?

>what third world "democracy" do you live in?
Are you retarded?

he thinks a fiction book for kids from the UK is indicative of living in a third world democracy, so he's probably pretty retarded. probably american too, and there's no point explaining to him they're a constitutional monarchy.

cmon OP you can beat it