Creative Writing class

>that guy who wrote a children's story that everyone enjoyed for not being an edgy navel-gazing pity party
>tfw I was that guy

That sounds like some Updike shit. Good for him

>the traumatized international student who is only there to write thinly veiled war porn about the atrocities of whichever side he wasn't on
>the phase-lesbian who would be horrified to actually munch rug who writes thinly veiled recaps of her womyn's studies textbooks with characters added
>the coffee shop poet who is "experimenting with prose" but every sentence starts with "I."
>the guy in the ridiculous period fedora, the old big one, not a trilby, but like Indiana Jones' who writes really disturbing crime stories that make you imagine this guys personal life is really nothing you ever want to know about
>the J-school kid whose stories are thinly veiled accounts of IRL rumors about the Dean of [department] everyone wishes would drop out and go do this for real, because dude, we have to graduate from here.

>actually taking "Creative Writing" classes

Absolutely ayy lmao

I remember being really jaded because some of my English degree crossed over with Creative Writing and none of the Creative Writing students understood a single fucking lecture because they'd only ever read The Bell Jar.
Kind of feel sorry for them.

>the one guy who's an autist, like a literally autistic person, who always fucking yells when he talks because autistic people don't understand how to control their voice's volume

>The guy who wrote funny stories drenched in irony that were funny at the time but now cringeworthy to read
that guy was me

>unironically attending a creative writing class

l m a o

I remember my first creative writing class. A third of the stories ended with a suicide, I'm not even memeing.

>took a standard essay writing class in college.
>Prof pulls me aside and says I'm really good at writing.
>"Oh, thanks, I was actually thinking of taking your creative writing class next sem"
>Tells me not to bother, those classes are for people who obviously can't write. Says I should just keep continue writing on my own.

One of the best pieces of advices I ever got....I didn't follow it unfortunately, but years later I learned how great of advice it was.

I definitely learned more in an essay composition class than I ever did in creative writing. That professor was a hardass but it really tightened my writing

>that guy in a scarf, fake glasses and a beret who reads out such boring and long poems that the other people who wanted to read their pieces don't have time

>that fedoralord militant atheist who completely ripped off BioShock and didn't even bother changing things because he assumed nobody else was enlightened enough to have played it
Wasn't even in Creative Writing class with him, that shit just spread fast.

>that guy who is going way overboard with structural and theoretical points about his stories but whose prose is just utter shit

>that guy who insisted on writing in English even though it's his second language
"Afternoon ripened in the office." "He was perusing letters in the caramelising sunlight." "He intoxicated himself in the butterfly's every minuscule wingbeat." "He was wont to circumnavigate the fashionable cliques from the coast." "Time flew to a shudder."

>took CW in high school
>one Argentinian guy always manages to write about soccer
>short stories: soccer
>children stories: about growing up with soccer
>screenplay assignment: struggling soccer team trying to make it to the "big match"
>slam poetry assignment: soccer
>eventually we have a field trip to a national arts museum, teacher instructs us to find a painting/piece to be inspired by and write a piece about it
>I find a portrait that I had only ever seen in history books and was in awe of the size and detail of it
>Argentinian guy finds Monet piece and write about how it would've been a good place to play soccer

because of him I literally hate the sport now.

I had one trailer trash dude in mine who must have took it because he thought it'd be an easy C-.

For all his assignments, he just wrote an excuse as to why he didn't complete the assignment. Sometimes the excuse would actually be longer in wordcount than was required of the assignment.

They were all pretty hilarious, because he'd give some dumb excuse, then start praising everyone else' assignments and how much he learned from them and how great it was that people shared their ideas like this.

We'd all get xerox'd copies of the assignments, and I started posting his all over the net, making fun of them. He found out about it and messaged me, saying he was going to kill me for this, but the dumb fuck didn't know exactly who I was so i just made fun of him even more.

He stopped showing up to class after that.

Sounds like a fun guy honestly. Was he good at soccer?

>Argentinian guy finds Monet piece and write about how it would've been a good place to play soccer

Those are actually pretty decent examples of writing as far as creative writing classes go.

he was a midget

>I'm a coward who picks on people to feel better about my 110 IQ
More than a little pathetic

>high school creative writing class
>that one autistic kid who eagerly shares his latest Danny Phantom/Kingdom Hearts crossover fan fic

>he actually thinks writing isn't 100% talent

I know you we all like shitting on autists for reasons, but have you guys ever tried reading a story made by a literal autist kid (reffering to the ones that are definitely not apt for society for having development issues)?

Once I had the opportunity. It was a short story that was supposed to be based on "diary of a part-time indian" and it was the most bizarre thing I've ever read.

Everything fullcaps, no periods or commas , Goku was there at some point...

If I find the file, I might share it

I'm not sure what mental illness this is but...
drive.google.com/open?id=0B0aJnaOl7gykX0owX0g5Y0luV2s

Please god let this be real

If the thread doesn't die before I get home I'll post some extracts.

my fucking god

his obsession with rocks is kinda disturbing otherwise he's just a little weird i'd say

i take it back this shit is something

>the only black kid in the class literally wrote raps

has anyone ever even attempted an MFA in creative writing or is that taboo

i always thought it would be a waste of time because i would have to sacrifice my own creativity and become dead inside to finish it

>goku was there at some point

MY FUCKING SIIIIIIIDES

>its an amnesia story
>it's a thinly veiled political message with 'childish' characters to justify the nonsensical motives of the 'evil' establishment
>it's a bullied-girl story
>it's a first love romance story with a shitty twist that's obvious from the start
>its a muslims have it tough in the west story which ignores the fact they fuck kids and actively hate the culture they're trying to gain sympathy from
>its a reality is not all that it seems with a shock twist that leaves no room for character development story

I've done two high-level writing workshops. One a 400 level and one a 500 level. Out of about 50 stories (one class had each student produce two stories, while the other only needed one) about 15 or so were about homosexual relationships. A discomforting amount were about domestic issues, e.g. a wife and husband have marital problems, a brother and sister reunite after a long time apart, a sibling/child dies, etc. Those were maybe 30 out of 50. Other common topics included:

>fantasy coming-of-age with unnecessarily uncomfortable sexual scenes
>pieces that were written as though someone were trying to describe a television episode, products of a mind dulled by Hollywood
>absolutely labyrinthine garbage whose purpose was to make some existential claim, but forgot to actually make a claim and tried to cover by overusing thesaurus language
>phoned in dreck written the night before

Nearly everyone called themselves "authors", too. It was incredibly disheartening, and I feel I actually became a worse writer from sitting through those travesty classes. The only consolation was occasionally sharing a pained look with the professor.

>Junior High
>We're writing short stories
>Look over at a paper on the teacher's desk
>It's a furry story about wolf characters

That's all I have.

>that other autist who wrote a story about a creative writing class hating the first autist

This guy was a hero for doing that.

I had a discussion with a friend after a particularly bad story. I was thinking about writing my own version of the story, but just doing everything about it better, more cleanly, and with artistry. Figured I'd have been failed or kicked out of the class for how mean-spirited it was, but still, great idea and I wish I'd given it a chance.

>that one guy who didn't say anything all semester
>one day the professor asks him what he thought about the story
>he just says "That was fucking terrible" and doesn't get called on again

Dunno about youguys, but in my high school we had to read these stories out loud. When I was up, I burst out laughing (definitely didn't mean to, it caught me by surprise and I couldn't stop) with how poorly written one piece was and the author ran out crying. I got a detention for that.

>And it was this case, when it came for the case of my Track and Field incident in 8th grade that ruined my opportunity to still go into track and field.
What was Sean's incident?

What were the good stories about?

BASED

One was about a girl trying to care for things, flowers, a fish, etc. and having them all die on her. It was very poignant, and beautifully written. The metaphors in it were small, but used to great effect.

Another was about the ruination of a small town by way of flooding, though the author was a bit up her own ass and the story itself veered too far into "literary fiction" as a genre.

There was another about an android who existed to work and had a subtle but enforced code of politeness ingrained within him. Eventually he stripped himself of flesh with his bare hands and boiled it on the stove. Pretty haunting.

Another was a take on cowboys that was reminiscent of McCarthy, but not derivative. I don't think the guy'd ever read him, even.

>That guy who keeps insisting on writing believable characters
>That guy who keeps focusing on the characters conscious thoughts and feelings. because he believes it would greatly enhance a story: deepening characterization, increasing tension, and widening the scope of a story
I'm that Guy. Please kill me

Uhh its not rly that bad as far as flowery language goes, ive seen worse. Especially for ESL

Nothing wrong with either of these things, as long as you pay attention to other elements of writing too

>take CW in uni
>a little optimistic, hoping it will be a fun learning experience
>haven't really written before, but been interested in it for ages
>before first lecture, overhear someone say: 'oh, I got a short story published over the weekend'
>get depressed for having hopes and dreams while being a motivationless failure

But the course did turn out to be interesting. My stuff wasn't even bad compared to rhe others, imho.

>before first lecture, overhear someone saying they got published over the weekend
Don't worry about that. I had a fat black single mom in my CW class that apparently has a nonfiction book published. She didn't have any talent or literary knowledge at all. Being published isn't a signifier of talent these days.

>that other autist who wrote a story about a creative writing class hating the first autist

you've just described the novel i'm writing

ESL are actually pretty interesting when it comes to creative pieces. Some guy from the Solomon Islands was in one of our classes, could not speak a coherent sentence in English, and his accent was too thick to understand, but he wrote a very good poem once, without even realizing it.

That's the thing, though, everyone there was ESL. I'm Norwegian, living in Norway.

>Don't worry about that.
I'm not. He apparently had attended already several courses on the topic from wherever he's an exchange student from. or sth. Also there's a lot of places to submit short fiction.
I just assumed that there would be only beginners.

He was doing the right thing then. Nobody's gonna read his shit if he writes it in Norwegian.

Although, there is the whole "master the basics" thing.

"Getting published" is a pretty vague and almost meaningless term. My brother isn't even a writer, and he's technically published in actual lit magazines. There's tons of ways a college student can get published that don't really add up to something.

If someone behind started bragging their stuff is going to be in the next Harper's or something, maybe then start worrying.

Because of him, I literally love the sport now.

A legit midget?

argentina best player is a midget
his nickname is "the flea"

>guy writes a story from the perspective of God, for no reason
>the actual plot is just something he stole from the news
>the "flowery, lush" prose doesn't actually make sense half the time
I probably still have this story somewhere, if there's any interest.

>tfw when you wrote a MAGA story and everyone thought it was satire

>that girl who consistently fucks up basic spelling and grammar
>that girl who uses abbreviations like "lol" in a story
spoiler: they were the same girl.
>that guy who wrote about torturing a chihuahua to death
I'm sure you can guess who that was.
>that girl who pretty much submitted her diary desu
She was the only halfway competent writer in the class other than (arguably) myself.

I know that feel

the mexicans are ruining this thread

>I'm sure you can guess who that was.
Geronimo Bosch?

>high school lit class
>supposed to be about plays but exam contains a surprise CW assignment
>teacher singles me out when discussing the exam, get a B because the rest of the exam was crap but she loved my short story, proceeds to read it to the class
plot twist: she had no clue about good writing so this felt more like an insult than a compliment

Did you mean Hieronymus Bosch? That's all Google is giving me. His shit's pretty cool.

>that autist who cared more about his fantasy magic systems than writing believable characters

My hero.

The Android one sounds petty interesting.

that's fucking awesome also
>jock

>he doesn't bother trying to write because of the talent meme

At least you've got something going for you.

please

The Android one sounds cool

>freshman year of undergrad
>half of the semester was poetry, the other half fiction
>sit next to filthy film major kid who just transferred from New Mexico
>always wore this denim jacket with southwestern patterns on the back
>we start poetry unit with our black grad student instructor
>he turns in giant Ginsburg-inspired piece about slavemasters whipping slaves
>all I remember is 'nigger' and 'phantasmagoria' multiple times in poem
>kid gets pulled aside after class, but still stays enrolled
>fiction unit starts after midterms
>we're told we're writing "literary fiction" and instructor explains what he's looking for
>"So, basically, don't write some story about werewolves getting high all the time."
>kid turns in a survival-horror story about a virus that infects a small town, turning them into werewolves unless they maintain a certain level of THC in their system
>it actually wasn't half bad

I always wonder what happened to that guy. Never saw him around campus after that.

Ehh, the issue is more that TEACHING writing is much harder than learning it. To teach writing you have to basically kill the students' ego which is a big no-no in modern teaching practice, and most students become unreceptive to the idea that their work is shit because they aren't trying.

>2012
>have creative writing class
>realize I don't actually want to write for a grade
>just go on Veeky Forums, and steal stuff from other people
>turn some haikus and other poems I stole from Veeky Forums posters into the poetry club
>mfw threads die and I never get caught plagiarizing
I even won the school's literary contest that year with entire passages from Veeky Forums.

He's probably writing marvel movies.

Taking a creative writing course at uni at the moment and every week I feel my will to live dip a little bit.

>Have a guest lecturer that writes comics
>His work is assigned reading for that week, we look over it in class
>One of his comics is a gay dragon ball z fanfic
>It's assigned reading
>We actually spend fifty minutes analyzing it, but no one in the class has watched dragon ball z

I feel like every minute I spend in that class is time wasted, but its too late to drop it. I can feel my writing ability slipping along with my sanity.

>It was incredibly disheartening, and I feel I actually became a worse writer from sitting through those travesty classes.

Feel the exact same way about my class. Did you end up dropping it or what? I have no clue what to do.

>take creative writing for fun
>teacher is a big hippy
>"all writing is good!"
>"let your stories play across the page :DD"
>class consists of several near stereotypes
>whatever, write some regular stuff and try pretty hard
>story time where we share our works
>black girl volunteers to get share first
>The first line will stick into my memory forever :"'My mother's such a fucking cunt' the nigger said, as he shot up more heroin"
>teacher looks enthralled
>"It's so vivid, excellent story-telling!"
>Things go on in this manner until it's my turn
>I'm not a good writer but I write pretty competently imo
>"umm it's, well, all right user"
>things go on in this manner for most of the semester
>prof. doesn't tell me what to improve upon but keeps giving me high Cs or low Bs
>fuck it, decide to write the edgiest shit I can for the 'personal essay' section
>write about history of suicide and drug use in my extended family in the trashiest way I can muster
>decline to share it from embarrassment
>comes back an A
>mfw
>finish with a B and this shitty elective class kept me from getting a 4.0 gpa
>genuinely ruined my love of writing

bullshit

>One of his comics is a gay dragon ball z fanfic
>We actually spend fifty minutes analyzing it, but no one in the class has watched dragon ball z

I honestly wish it was. I could go on about my classmates, but I am bad at greentext.

>that autist who wrote a political allegory poorly disguised as a sci-fi tale
fuck

>teach a creative writing class
>understand that the best writing comes from real emotions, real experiences, not contrived situations
>"just let it out, be honest, let it play across the page"
>nice class
>girl volunteers to share first
>reads something she's written truly from the heart about something that has affected her
>"It's so vivid, excellent story-telling!"
>Things go on in this manner until the angry boy gets up
>he reads some mediocre attempt at "story writing" that clearly doesn't come from him
>try to be nice about it
>things go on in this manner for most of the semester
>hope he'll learn what I can't teach him
>he finally lets loose, writing honestly, putting his pent-up frustration into words
>he's too shy to read it out, but give him an A because he's seemingly making progress
>mfw he didn't understand

A fair amount in my old classes would only write about their first day in high school. Some of the most mundane literature that I've ever read has been written by those classes.

>that guy who likes Lovecraft far too much

Impressive, considering how shitty the texts shared here are.

Your loss, considering how little read Lit is

What did you write about?