Anybody plan on reading this?

>TCD
>bastion of west-britishness

Ireland is British, deal with it.

>Bobbi and I first met Melissa at a poetry night where we were performing together. Melissa took our photograph outside, with Bobbi smoking and me holding my wrist in my right hand. Melissa used a big professional camera and kept lots of different lenses in a special camera pouch. She chatted and smoked while taking pictures. She talked about our performance and we talked about her work, which we’d come across on the internet. Around midnight the bar closed. It was starting to rain then and Melissa invited us back to her house for a drink.

>We all got into the back of a taxi and started fixing up our seat belts. Bobbi sat in the middle, facing Melissa, so I could see the back of her neck and her little spoon-like ear. Melissa gave the driver an address in Monkstown. I turned to look out the window. A voice came on the radio: eighties . . . pop . . . classics. Then a jingle played. I felt excited, ready for the challenge of visiting a stranger’s home, already preparing compliments and certain facial expressions to make myself seem charming.

yeah totally, we respect bookish girls by stalking and them on youtube.

these /pol/ tards need to learn how to RESPECT women like only Veeky Forums knows how: by worshipping them in creepy autistic fandoms

im not autistic enough to participate in the harassment of female booktubers but the caps sure are funny.

>we
stop this shit.

and you were responding to obvious sarcasm you clueless twat.

That is almost unforgivably bad. Seems just like the kind of garbage that modern publishers would pay good money for, though.

sarcasm or no, this board is full of autistic effeminate crybabies who deserve to be bullied liek you

>as if I was afraid the wrist was going to get away from me

'no'

>going this hard on the defense because you feel stupid over a misreading of a post

you are insecure as fuck lmao

ok bud nice last word bud come git it

>if i misread sarcasm i get insanely angry and take it personal
>it shouldn't matter but i am a fuckin loser so it does matter okay it matters a whole lot

>Bobbi and I first met Melissa at a poetry night in town

Stopped reading there

>Bobbi
Fucking fuck

What's wrong with that?

how much blood is pumped into there each beat? A gallon, you think? more? Ugh it just gets me going you know?

is she trying to convey that she's fidgety or anxious about having her picture taken? like is she holding her wrist to keep her arm from flailing around?

if something so unclear and awkward was buried in the middle of a book that would be forgivable but to have it right there in the opening paragraph is really off-putting and makes me think there's much worse awkward language in the middle of the book. not to mention that what we're looking at is the edited version so what she submitted had to have been a mess.

qt ears desu

Well for one I live in Dublin and literally personally know this girl Melissa.
She's a talentless turbokike and ruined any hope of a quality Literary society in our Uni by centering around propping her shitty slam poetry career.

Also the dude literally spells his name Bobbi and that makes me furious

ok

>dude

Bobbi is a girl, retard. They're lesbos, dummy. Get with it.

Christ I despise these overpoliticized shitheels and the clumsy garbage they shit out.

>fuck play it play it cool

you should've never gotten to this level in the first place you autist. why do you take this shit so personal? you rage flared because you misread some dumb sarcasm in a post? who even cares you sperg.

that was someone else

Like I said I stopped reading there. Bobbi is still a dumb name for a girl.

Anyway Dykes or not they're preachers of mediocrity and seriously bring down the discourse of anywhere they stand

lmao okay bro okay.

clearly you're in a state.

no really it was. i just said 'ok' because i thought it would be funny

>so insecure over some innocuous misread of his that he wants to devolve this into (you) farming until he gets the last word

you have actual autism. go ahead and win now.

I actually find this reassuring, because if this crap can get published then I have more than a fair shot at the same.

no seriously the 'ok' was my first post to you but i guess you'll never know for sure

You have it the wrong way around, having quality work is a liability these days.

how dare you presume on it's preferred gender pronoun, you normative fuck.

the question is, are you willing to take the D, man?

>Typical low IQ pop-socialist

Ah, so this board is where the enlightenment genius now resides.

>yeah totally, we respect bookish girls by stalking and them on youtube.
>these /pol/ tards need to learn how to RESPECT women like only Veeky Forums knows how: by worshipping them in creepy autistic fandoms

Good god. Not only did you not realize the sarcasm but you have wrapped up your identity with divisions of an imageboard.

Sure why not, where else?

>Ah, so this board is where the enlightenment genius now resides.
people here at least have enough sense to post their little retarded thoughts to Veeky Forums instead of blasting it on fb or twitter where all your cringiest thoughts will be forever archived and attributable to you

Are they in Chapters?

>people here at least have enough sense to post their little retarded thoughts to Veeky Forums instead of blasting it on Faber & Faber where all your cringiest thoughts will be forever archived and attributable to you

Fixed.

>tfw forced to receive validation for little retarded thoughts through YOUs

Even better, I can just write crappy pulp sci-fi, like I wanted to when I was young.

Don't think anybody would want to try, honestly. I ain't even prison-pretty.

She's saying that she secretly holds socially unacceptable views which, if written, would ruin her life.

>modern women
>good at anything
Every paper I've ever read by a female college student reads like it's straight from facebook/twitter.

So, is this the new money laundering scheme, like modern "art"?

Yeah but in her circle saying Trannies aren't indistinguishable from real women is lynch worthy

>Womemes at it again

up the rah

I wouldn't be surprised. This girl is getting a ton of money for a book that belongs on wattpad.

IRELAND, THE COUNTRY OF POETS
REDUCED TO THIS

Joyce is rolling in his grave

Ew

It could be good if the story structure is well done. I doubt it though. The big payout suggests there's probably some sort of drama at the center of the plot that'll make the novel really marketable and adaptable.

There's a whole modern school of writing like this, descending from Ann Beattie, which is deceptively casual and plain but actually really really good.

If you want to read something great like this try Amie Barrodale.

I just had to check my browser tabs to make sure that I didn't somehow end up on r/books. What the fuck man.

What, you too much of a pleb for Ann Beattie?

>literally who
Sorry, I don't browse reddit user.

It kind of has the feel of a young adult novel. Is it YA or is it meant for adults?

Its for "adults" who will never leave young adulthood

I've seen that guy around trinity when I was a student there. He was part of the trinners for winners snoozefest that literally gave me a fetish for scummy hunzos because they were everything he isn't.

That prose isn't promising. I dunno man, seems irish publishing is brimming with shite at the moment.

Are you a dublinfag yourself?

Reminder that all the best Irish writers got the fuck out of Ireland as fast as they possibly could.

Not op, but I went to secondary school with the guy in the picture. He was a bit pretentious but I never got the impression that he was a bad guy.

>I dunno man, seems irish publishing is brimming with shite at the moment.
yeah, it's been a while since I've read any modern Irish fiction that wasn't garbage. "City of Bohane" was good, and I'm reliably informed that "Solar Bones" is a decent read. But there's a lot more of navel-gazing shite, like in the op, than anything else.

Ah yeah, I'm certain they're all lovely, the society types in trinity, I mean. But sure, everyone is lovely in person. It's only in the broad-strokes that we can bear witness to the larger evils they represent. Jumped-up yuppies.

I toyed with the idea of purchasing Solar Bones last I saw it. To be honest I essentially gave up reading contemporary irish fiction years ago, so I'll take your recommendation on the Kevin Barry book. But I only read out of a desperate sense that I need to know the lay of the land in order to understand how to get published myself. Desperate incentive.

If you're a womeme then you're in the money
If you're a man you're fucked though

you lads not a fan of young skins by colin barett?

Dunno. I guess you're saying it's worth giving a shot.

I haven't kept up with irish lit for a number of years so I appreciate the recommendation. Any other suggestions? I'd like to make a list. Maybe this summer I can get up to date.

Haven't read it. it's somewhere down my long list of things to read. You'd recommend it, so?

spinning hearts meant to be good, can't remember the author's name

and spill simmer falter wither is a good one by sarah baume

yeah, very nicely written stuff

This, as soon as I get a programming job in America I'm fucking gone with the wind

I'm sure you're correct, but, examples?

>Always fucking myself about how bad is my shit and how I should really git gud before attempting any kind of publishing.
>Read this

It's kind of uplifting to be honest. I'm stupid, but not at those levels

Joyce, Becket, Wilde, Shaw even Yeats left as a young man.

Ah okay, this I know. I thought we were talking about contemporary irish writers.

He was sarcastic too
I hope..

Like who?
Closest thing to a world class contemporary Irish writer is Lenny Abrahamson. Not sure where he lives

Stop it. I don't have autism. That's an overuse of "autism" and "autist" on Veeky Forums

This. The prose needs to be cleaned up a bit but I'm quite interested for some reason.

I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

>Abrahamson
>closest thing to a world class contemporary Irish writer

How?

>Melissa used a big professional camera and kept lots of different lenses in a special camera pouch.

I get it, inner monologue. It's still fucking awful.

>well I'm gay
>and Frances is a communist
>pay-gap feminism
>Church badddddd!

How is this a real thing? This is just smut disguised thinly as a story.

Fuck this im writing a book now its too easy when the closest the nu-authors have gotten to the greeks is flirting with some beta for his cheat sheet.

Kidults are the zeitgeist now. We have to adhere to their wants and needs! Fuck reading or writing anything remotely difficult! Make it simple with enough suburban ennui and throw in some magick and not so subtle sexual liberation before going to adult daycare and you've got yourself a best seller!

No discernible talent desu.

>How?

Because his work actually receives global viewing and recognition.
I couldn't name three Irish novelists or playwrights alive today otherwise.

Oh. Fair enough desu.

Dont forget

>"Adult" coloring books on every best seller list

Holyshit this is painful to read. Its like the cunt just scribbled down whatever she could remember happened and didn't give a slightest thought about purpose or editing to any of the lines.
Its like one long mediocre blog post.

She's a west brit

So TIRED of you exists. She is TALENTED okay.

Bedtime Sally

I'll have you know she's from Southern Ireland.

West Brit doesn't mean Norrie. West Brits are Irish people that specifically sound and act like English upper-middle class.

Shane Ross, for instance. Pure West Brit.

i think the internet as a whole has kind of changed what people expect from books and generally anything that's written since language has gotten increasingly less formal

but no you're not wrong at all this is really clunky and awkward to read. zero flow.