I HATE LANGUAGE

Does anyone else hate the fact they know a language?

All of my thoughts are framed as dialogue - when I think about a topic all I really do is have an imaginary conversation with someone in my head about the topic. I plan out sentences I might say, adjectives I might use, etc etc.

But the problem is that words are all mundane. I didn't invent them, so I only have a clumsy grasp of what they mean. Because I think in English words therefore, all of my thoughts are muddled and slightly ambiguous in their meaning. It would be better if I thought only in a language of my invention, but it still would be partially flawed.

I wish that I could somehow forget every language or method of communication I know - I feel that then my thoughts would at least have the chance of being something higher, something greater than myself. The way my thoughts are pinned to the English language depresses me.

I wish I had never been taught to speak or write as a child, I wonder what my thoughts would have been like.

Read Burroughs, specifically his Nova Trilogy

>All of my thoughts are framed as dialogue
Can you not think without subvocalizing? Is this what it feels like to be a brainlet?

this, but not The Nova Trilogy
read The Electronic Revolution and Word Virus

I'm not sure if subvocalising is the term.

I sort of think as though I was writing one giant stream-of-consciousness paragraph.

Dude is this why chinks are good at math lmao

No, and neither do you.
Nobody who "hates language" even considers such a question.
You love language and you know it.

If you didn't know a language your thoughts would be equally framed by something else

This

Also, you are so limited in "brainspeak" because you only know one language. Often, my thoughts are indeed like yours, just a monologue of thoughts. But when I'm less focused on the words themselves and more focused on the abstract thoughts or ideas, knowing two languages helps to break down the limits imposed by a language.

As someone fluent in two languages I can tell you how much difference there is than if I only knew one. On my way to becoming fluent in another, and I won't stop there.

Post wasn't clear but I meant it all as a reply to OP

>Not thinking in visual abstractions

Ever see one of Hayao Miyazaki's films? For most of them, the storyboards were created before writing the textual script.
If someone can write a feature length film using only pictures, you can train yourself to use new systems of thought.

>knowing two languages helps to break down the limits imposed by a language
wrong
>being able to switch between the boxes I'm in lets me think outside the box

>different languages are just collections of interchangeable synonyms

Knowing different ways to express the same idea helps you examine your own processes of forming those ideas, like a meditation.

Ive never successfully learnt a language before - in primary school when i was forced to learn some French and Latin I did just interpret it as straight synonyms.

How long does it take to learn a language to the point that you aren't just substituting words in like synonyms?

You can notice that the thought comes before the language. Listen to that.

>I wish I had never been taught to speak or write as a child, I wonder what my thoughts would have been like.

look up feral childen and think again boyo

A human without language isn't a noble transcendent savage, they're just basically a mental retard.

I don't have a straight answer for you.

The process is all about context. Have you ever come across a $5 word in English that you have struggled to learn (even upon looking it up in the dictionary), but eventually understood it over time thanks to seeing it in different contexts? It's similar to that.

>theyre basically a mental retard

How could you possible know what they are thinking if they have no language? Maybe there is a noble and transcedent reason they act like retards that they can't explain to you.

>being able to switch between the boxes I'm in lets me think outside the box
That's logically so, dumbass. A different box is indeed outside the original box.

Language is a tool, and wishing away with it would be like a carpenter throwing away his saws and hammers before working with wood.