I somehow want to write something before I kill myself, but I am at a point where it seems useless to do anything...

I somehow want to write something before I kill myself, but I am at a point where it seems useless to do anything. What should I do?

Write about how useless it is to do anything ofc

probably just dedicate yourself to something.

kill yourself, then write about it if you survive

it's a win either way

make sure everyone knows you're only killing yourself ironically

Like all the greats write from the perspective of being dead already and just lose your ego. Man up. Become dedicated. Reclusion is better than death because after awhile it actually becomes quite enjoyable.
What is reading classics? It is not only communion with the dead, but with the absolute best Death has to offer. Your friends are lonely (souls) through time, and both past and future theyre the ones with whom you have most in common.
Litetature is an alternative country. Become a citizen.

t. oldfag

Now then, if a part of you wants to do something, then that part of you is alive. Embrace it.

>before I kill myself
Why not just run away and abandon everything instead?
Seems like a waste of the gift of life.
Go to some poor Pacific isalnd with all the money you have left or were able to steal before you eave on a plane and live out the rest of your days there making the little money you need by doing some poor job.
You can still enjoy the warm evenings and the sun set each day and on weekends enjoy the humid air inland or the cool breeze by the beach and maybe do nothing but read or write.
Never understood why you would risk finding something more beautiful after death isntead of trying to finding some remote peaceful place on earth first.

Unironically the most beautiful posts I've ever read on Veeky Forums.

Hope you don't kill yourself OP

Why do you want to kill yourself?

Good advice. There's no such thing as writer's block.
If energy's an issue take walks, drink coffee.
If there's 'no point' make one. Read Vico.

You should not write and jump right to death

Now that's neither nice nor brotherly, user. Unless of course (you) approach the issue from some higher ground..

bp

>useless
deep-six that utilitarian mindset, user. The best things in life are not only free, but useless.

I haven't come here for a few days, so I only respond now. I am a weak, embourgoisée person that cannot let go because of all the shackles that imprison me. Even if I try to fight them, they come back stronger in another shape. I am also stuck with a compulsive disorder that makes the days I go through look like a rock falling of a mountain, and every second of every minute makes me feel like I can't catch the rock and achieve anything. I don't accept the way people behave, or the way the world turns, and I don't accept the fact I don't accept it, because I often feel like I am the one that is wrong. I don't want my voice to be heared, I don't consider that I have anything relevant to say or to write, and this makes me come to the will to disappear.

I've just had a conversation with my psychiatrist that thinks he can solve the questions that haunt me with medication but I don't take it. I have spent a few hours thinking about the way I should end my self, wondering if there is a self to kill. My thoughts are tangled and oppressive. Sometimes, my conscience screams inside me to shout at how wrong everything I do or say is. I don't think I can live peacefully anywhere, and it is not a matter of ego at this point. I have no love for my body, neither for my soul. The promises I haven't kept follow me like furies, the people who used to be close to me and aren't anymore too.

I moved to the countryside to be closer to concrete things, to grow flowers and vegetables, it didn't change anything. The threads I spin between what surrounds me and my body are fragile, and I break some impulsively. All this weight, this total absence of peace are the reasons why.

Unless you're killing yourself out of anger this isn't going to happen. Writing something decent takes a whole heap of motivation and determination. Suicidal people lack that almost by definition.

I was determined enough to swallow 200 pills five years ago, but yeah, I grew older and tired.

>I've just had a conversation with my psychiatrist that thinks he can solve the questions that haunt me with medication but I don't take it.
They are the most worthless doctors that exist.
They bring no answers but create more questions for yourself.
Any psychiatrist who is lost will either suggest medication or that you see a different doctor where you can talk your heart out and through that are somehow supposed find yourself out and how to recover.
They are scum who only refer you to the next specialist in an endless cycle of guessing and easily giving up.
You said you already abandoned normal life and tried to find seclusion and lived life differently by embracing the nature that can be found in the country. I am intersted in how you went ahead approaching that change and since you were disappointed what you expected and what instead turned out.
Obviously you don't give enough to understand your simpler mental issues which everything really does rest upon but I myself also am not quite right.
After accepting my state I did more than just embrace my insane emotions and thoughts but pushed them further to explore.
If I see roadkill on the side of the road I play with it. Stick twigs through its eyes and caress the dry, hard bloodied fur and give it an honorable burial once I have finished amusing myself.
Stand silently infront of a mirror and let the mind do what it wants. If you start to punch yourself in the gut repeatedly, smacking your head against the wall while laughing and crying, do it.
I wouldn't be able to achieve anything if I didn't let my impulses allow to keep certain control of me for some time.
Always remember that the imagination is the greatest gift we were given. No drug can come up with the absurd thoughts your mind can when you let your imagination really run freely. It is not just a place of retreat that too many pathetic souls have given up when they are forced to "mature" but it's an integral part of your identity that shapes how you can feel and how you think.

I always wanted to be able to see things a bit differently than everybody else because it would seem less boring that way. it's fun. It really is. You jsust haven't accepted it to be.

this. Maybe you could write some poetry though

Jesus

I was hoping this were you instead.

sure is reddit itt