Editor’s Note: this piece of work is a complete and total fiction. Nothing in this work has factual, metaphorical, juxtapositional, satirical, or inter-dimensional connection to the physical world. Furthermore, every character or institution in this work is categorically separate from reality and has no factual or relational basis to anything at all.
I
The year was 2865 and Manly Richards was feeling good. He was 18 years old and newly graduated from Fatlips Cockblower School. Fat Cock was the most prestigious school in the nation and perhaps the world. Graduates were widely called Good Old Cocks, and current students affectionately called each other Little Weenies. In addition to graduation, Manly turned 18 during an odd-numbered year so he wasn’t drafted to fight in the wars. Sure he paid lip service to the troops, but he was a coward and suspected he would last five minutes tops in a training camp. Things were going well for him, and he knew it.
There was one problem though: he liked consensual sex for the purpose of procreation. In the Empire, that was a major offense. In fact, if a thought police heard the mention of a consy in a community, the entire area would be quarantined within a 50 mile radius. Even the word “consensual” was banned because it implied that humans had freedom of choice. The teepees didn’t fuck around when it came to the issue of suspected consies.
Manly knew that his whistle was clean, though. He was the official Gay on Gay Alliance (GGA) ambassador for Fat Cock and received every award available at the school in Traditional Gay Sex classes. In fact, not only had he aced the classes with flying colors, his works were considered official canon by major scholars in the field already. At the end of the summer, he would be going to New Boston, Mississippi to study under the leading scholar of homosex studies in the world: Fanny Nutsack. A Lesbian Studies expert, Nutsack led the Trad Gay movement before it was officially state-sanctioned and convinced the donors at her college to establish the first Traditional Gay Sex Studies department in the nation, the Sappho School of Historical Queerness. Manly would study under the best and brightest minds, and he knew it. The sneaking suspicion that someone would call his bluff terrified him though.
No matter. This summer would be fun. Some of his buddies were in town and they were sure to have a grand old time. Even though gay sex made him feel sick, he had to admit that no one knows how to handle a cock and balls like a dude. One friend in particular, John Nosack, really knew how to work a phallus. Having years of experience since infancy, John could suck a mean cock. Milo II legalized pedophilia in 2763 under the Nambla Decrees, and young guys like John were now mastering the art of fellatio. He also had an advantage because he lived by one principle alone: it’s not who you know, it’s who you blow.