Want to be a writer

>want to be a writer
>talk about being a writer nonstop
>write 5,000 words of slop
>write ~50 words a week to keep the dream alive
>know deep down that the "novel" has no clear direction and is basically fanfiction but overlook it because of massive ego
>spend more time fantasizing about being a famous writer than thinking about "novel"
>eventually get angry that the publishing industry will deny greatness because of fucking white male status
>look at "novel" for ~15 minutes a week before getting distracted by friends or video games
>stop talking about "novel"
>friends stop asking "novel" because they have realized that it's a sore subject
>find Veeky Forums
>start waterposting

>be on Veeky Forums
>sink to level of primordial meme soup
>see weird deep-sea creatures down here memeing
>receive weird and cryptic messages
>not know who is who

>return to the surface user
>try again
>you can do it
>don't give up

What the fuck is water

>>you can do it
>>don't give up
i originally wrote the OP from what i perceive as the average Veeky Forumserary genius here but thought it would be funnier to make it me. i actually have a completed 110k word novel and am currently waiting on responses from agents. i just get annoyed when i come on here and see people complaining about their novels when they've only written a few thousand words over the course of like 6 months, which to me is a person that still hasn't even started.

>tfw still learning to craft scenes and characters
>how do I dialogue though

The struggles the part you look back on and enjoy the most.

>110k word novel
For what purpose

mmmhahah
dip your toes in the water
hope you kids like grocery shopping!
don't be like us adults
dive into the water
mmmhahah

Be nice to everyone because they might have a bad day sometimes and you like the books and this is the water and you don't like the water so kill yourself

me, except i dont waterpost

I love agent rejections. They expect us to follows all these proper guidelines to get their attention and then they always give a generic response.

"Thanks so much for sending your query – I appreciate the chance to take a look at your project. I’m sorry to say, though, that I’m going to step aside instead of asking to read more.

Please bear in mind that everybody has different tastes and interests – my decision is based on my present workload, and also based on the kind of material that I’m presently representing. That said, this is a crazily subjective business: I absolutely think you should keep looking for representation because what works for one agent (or publisher) may not work as well for another. I’m afraid, though, that I cannot recommend someone for it."

Hell google that and you'll see many others have received that message or a slight variation of.

Post a sample of your writing

Why should they put in effort to turn you down when they're not profiting from you? The sheer quantity of material they're sent makes it impossible.

I understand that. I hope they understand on the off chance that I'm ever successful that I'll never take their representation.

This.

The dirty little secret is that anything can get published if you send it to the right place.
By sending you a generic letter, the agent is withholding their criticism. They do that because they know their opinion is irrelevant to the market. Absolute horseshit gets picked up all the time. They legitinately have no idea whether someone else will love your work, so the advice to keep looking is universally applicable.
Would more specific advice be useful? Yes. They just don't have any.

Why? They're just doing their jobs and treat all prospective writers the same. What makes you deserve special treatment? Your attitude is childish; cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Hey agent.

you should try it some time. it's fun

Truest advice ever.

Which is why you should never give up. keep submitting, again and again. You may never get noticed, but you DEFINITELY won't if you stop trying.

You never know. the next one might be the one that bites.

Never forget, even some of the most popular authors were rejected a lot

Stephen King's "Carrie" was rejected 30 times

Frank Herbert's "Dune", rejected 23 times

The fucking Diary of Anne Frank, the most popular diary in the world was rejected 15 times

even Harry Fuck Potter, the single most popular book series there is was rejected 12 times.

So if nothing else, that should tell you not to quit. Keep fucking submitting your work

I'm not an agent, I'm just aware that business isn't personal.

Welcome to the water.

>spend more time fantasizing about being a famous writer than thinking about "novel"

Pseuds summarized

>friends stop asking "novel" because they have realized that it's a sore subject

Telling your friends you're writing a novel in the first place has to be the most stereotypically Pseud think you can do

>eventually get angry that the publishing industry will deny greatness because of fucking white male status

Readers prefer books by men, especially because kids are sexist and books that sell are books written for young readers, and thus publishers are sexist in Mens favor. This is part of why Women will use androgynous names like J.K. Rowling so frequently. Writing is one of the few fields tilted in favour of men you idgit.

In regards to being a minority, yeah, it does help to not be white when writing in English.