My parents are buying my 8 year old niece this book...

>All these white knights in this thread
>Without fail, anywhere you mention womens bad behavior, beta male white knights will rush to defend them
>White knighting women gives men the same feeling as being in a relationship with them.

>>All these white knights in this thread

Shoot up her school

Show them this passage and they'll be convinced they should get her some Pynchon instead:

She turns. "Hold up my fur." He obeys. "Be careful. Don't touch my skin." Earlier in this game she was nervous, constipated, wondering if this was anything like male impotence. But thoughtful Pointsman, anticipating this, has been sending laxative pills with her meals. Now her intestines whine softly, and she feels shit begin to slide down and out. He kneels with his arms up holding the rich cape. A dark turd appears out the crevice, out of the absolute darkness between her white buttocks. He spreads his knees, awkwardly, until he can feel the leather of her boots. He leans forward to surround the hot turd with his lips, sucking on it tenderly, licking along its lower side… he is thinking, he's sorry, he can't help it, thinking of a Negro's penis, yes he knows it abrogates part of the conditions set, but it will not be denied, the image of a brute African who will make him behave… The stink of shit floods his nose, gathering him, surrounding. It is the smell of Passchendaele, of the Salient. Mixed with the mud, and the putrefaction of corpses, it was the sovereign smell of their first meeting, and her emblem. The turd slides into his mouth, down to his gullet. He gags, but bravely clamps his teeth shut. Bread that would only have floated in porcelain waters somewhere, unseen, untasted-risen now and baked in the bitter intestinal Oven to bread we know, bread that's light as domestic comfort, secret as death in bed… Spasms in his
throat continue. The pain is terrible. With his tongue he mashes shit against the roof of his mouth and begins to chew, thickly now, the only sound in the room…

If you can't manage to convince your parents, I wouldn't bother trying. Instead, buy her a book of your own that would be more appropriate. Take her aside and tell her how much the book means to you, and that you hope she enjoys it as much as you did.

I don't know what you would recommend, but I would give her A Series of Unfortunate Events. Harry Potter is crap.

Dude, she's 8. It's a good book for her age.

What the fuck do you expect her to read? Tolstoy?

>harry potter is crap
>give her lemony snicket

REIGEN IS H O T

yes!

At least the moral of his stories is that if you are well-read you will be better adapted to solving problems. I know for me that helped me cultivate a respect for reading, and fueled my attraction to literature.

Harry Potter is just, "Wait for magic and your friends to do everything for you."

Warn them if she reads HP she will go on to read Stephen King. No-one wants that.

Yeah she should read Ulysses, what a fucking pleb.

Get her the Protector of the Small series.
Young girl works really, really hard despite opposition to get what she wants and becomes a knight.

Should also give her a healthy interest in arthurian legends.

>Not reading Finnegans Wake

l m a o i n g @ u

Put her on a strict program of Greeks and German Idealism, while intermittently reading bread-pill Tolstoy and Dosto books.

buying a harry potter book for an 8 year old is wrong but for a different reason
you're not supposed to read them until you're 10 then read one each year so you can grow up with harry

the kids who read them as they were released were so lucky to be able to do that
now you can just read them in a rush, there's no anticipation or anything

now what are all you people doing here
i need to pee again
what day is it?

Get her Deltora Quest or Redwall

the moral is more that if you're well read and intelligent you'll still make really stupid decisions and put yourself in bad situations so don't bother reading

Well here are some other options I know of, but they wouldn't be my primary recommendation.

Redwall (Genre fiction, she may become a furry)
Tom Sawyer / Huckleberry Finn (I didn't read them as a child so I can't comment as much, might have trouble with racial issues)

Eh, as a kid I always figured it had something along the lines at how adults are terrible and are too stupid to make the right decisions regarding kids, also adulthood is depressing.

What did he mean by this?

Holy shit all these retarded normies in this thread, what went wrong?

I don't think there's any way to explain that without them thinking you're messed up, the best thing you can do is to counter the effects with something decent or to talk to her about it and point out some of the issues.

I completely agree with you by the way. Not because it isn't high art but because it spoils everything for her in the future that isn't just as blunt, loud, simplistic and full of pathos. It's hard for a child to read through 20 pages of subtleties or descriptions or human bonds when they are used to unicorns shooting magic death rays in every second paragraph while love is a matter of potions and all enemies are Hitler.

>if you are well-read you will be better adapted to solving problems.
But that's false.

he meant
>wah wah i can't find a girlfriend and my personal hygiene is poor

I really wouldn't recommend Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn. You can try and explain to a kid that those were different times, you can try and explain what slavery is, but children shouldn't ever come in contact with written racial slurs. Seeing the N-word on every other page will have an effect on a child's mind, it's not gonna turn them into a total racist but it will definitely lower the bar and make racial slurs seem less off-limits.

I really can't tell anymore when someone from Reddit is completely lost and when someone is just acting as the most cliché Redditor to get me mad

They're going to be flooded with them in a few years (if not already) when they go on the internet. Not even just the "bad" parts of the internet.

Children should not be allowed on the internet without supervision tbqh.

Have them read "The Mysterious Stranger"

...Just to fuck them up royally in the head.

You know, for laughs.

I agree, but good luck with enforcing that.

I would probably be much more likely to give her those books if I were her dad and could actually be there to explain that you can't go around yelling nigger after reading it.

Is that the story where a family accidentally runs over fall and gives him amnesia? Because I remember that story. It was fucked up. It always really unnerved me as a kid.

You should stop posting

No, it's about a small village which is visited by an angel named Satan, whose views toward humanity are contemptible, although he is always pleasant and charming.

Satan's interferences with the lives of the people in the town often lead to deaths, or terrible fates, eventually leading to the downfall of the entire village. It also ends on a very cryptic note that makes the reader question their entire views of self, and reality as a whole

Tell them to get her His Dark Materials

Thread: She's 8 chill out
You: White knighting KEKS kek
End your life.

I read Harry Potter as a kid, the whole series in fact. I never became a fan of it but it was sorta fun to read through. By the time the final book came out I was already indifferent but I read it anyway for closure, after that I forgot about Harry Potter for the most part since I was reading more interesting fiction (had just picked up the Dune series by Frank Herbert).

Bottom line is if your niece is stupid there's no helping it. If she isn't then it'll be just a stepping stone. I world recommend Alice in Wonderland though, it had a much more profound effect on me as an autistic kid.

sounds fun, nice rec

Show her some tweets from grown up Harry Potter fans to show them how that book emotionally and intellectually stunts the young people who read it.

>Not allowing your child to read only Finnegans Wake
> forcing him to learn the language in the Wake as his one true language when his mind is at its peak plasticity
>When he/she comes of age they're already prepared to write the preeminent analysis of the book
Lmao. You guys are never going to make it.

>Huckleberry Finn should be banned in schools because of muh racism
>N-word
>Censoring yourself on a japanese based anonymous image board
How many layers of cuckoldry are you on?

You realise Mark Twain was a while male?! It's obvious we need to censor this so called "art", we all need to sacrifice some freedoms in this fight. Now excuse me while I blast my wife's son with some more Drake.

>it's not gonna turn them into a total racist
that's too bad, that was kinda the goal wasn't it? nigger.

Yes. Start her with something simple like Anna Kerinina and then have her work her way up to Harry Potter. Throw some Dante somewhere in there and sprinkle in Plato here and there.

that book is fine you dweeb, anything to get a kid interested in reading at a young age is good. then when they're interested you drop the real shit on their laps

Imagine being this autistic.
If she's intelligent, nothing will change that, especially not her having read harry potter as a fucking 8 year old

The intelligence women I've met that like Harry Potter seem to have never really achieved maturity because of it.

>dude shes 8 lmao
drawing associated

Cooking books, desu

FYI normies are the ones who like HP, faggot.

You're an idiot. The books are great. Even more so for children.

>Veeky Forums discouraging children from reading entertaining well written childrens books because of memes

So you didn't read the books ....

I feel you and I kind of agree. My solution would be to suggest other books. There is better literature out there for kids.

Here
amazon.com/Chronicles-Narnia-Box-Set-Lewis/dp/0061992887/ref=sr_1_17?ie=UTF8&qid=1496172780&sr=8-17&keywords=cs lewis
amazon.com/Wrinkle-Quintet-Swiftly-Tilting-Acceptable/dp/0312373511/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496172869&sr=8-1&keywords=wrinkle in time quintet

Those are two excellent series to start with. Look up Newbery winners books and Caldecott medal books for other stories.

You mean the Twain short story that inspired this?
youtu.be/bpiAbCMxQiU

Why not just give her a copy of a "Modest Proposal"? At least it's satire, but at 8 she may not know the difference.

yes, that one

Reading anything is better than reading nothing at that age, and you know it. Books I'd want my niece to read however are:
Narnia
Redwall
Golden Compass
Watership Down
Ranger's apprentice

Of course, all of these and Harry potter should be read to her because they are probably above her reading level.

Maybe if you want to be trained to read Stephen King.

that's not how humans work you fucking tool. There's a difference between liking something punching people for wearing slytherin colors.

Dude, my 9 year old cousin spent too much time with her liberal great-grandmother and reads a lot of Holocaust books about concentration camps, wears chokers and is kind of a sarcastic cunt. I think she's a youtuber or something.
Harry Potter is fine, just get her a better book next if she enjoys reading.

I've read the first two books when i was 5~6 years old and had no problems understanding them at all. Maybe understimating what kids can and can't read is part of the dumbing process.

>Tom Sawyer is going to ruin my child's beautiful idea of celebrating diversity by being completely inclusive.
Are liberals really this insecure? Just tell her it's a bad word and why if you even care. What if she WANTED to read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn?

Why am I the only person on lit who knows who Tamora Pierce is? You're all fucking awful.

Rading Harry Potter doesnt mean that it will be the only book that they will read in their entire life you nimcompoop. H.P. was an enjoyable magical adventure and it's short chapters make it a compulsive read, it teaches reading stamina, comprehension, and it's wide cast of characters does great for memory. It's a light read even with all the edgy shit that it turns into in the later books. It's a gateway to more and better literature. Just because a bunch of man/womenchildren on youtube have an insufferable and unhealthy connection with it doesnt mean it's going to ruin their life. you should definetly gift her some better books, but by all means dont deprive her of reading this series, who knows maybe she'll wise up and recognize that there is better things out there.

5 year olds willing to read books without pictures are relatively rare, think you're overestimating kids.

>trained to read anything at all
That's the point ...

>it teaches reading stamina
It does the complete opposite. And making every character a caricature with a speaking name doesn't exactly train the memory either.

But you write like an eight year old yourself so maybe that's your horizon.

>even more so for children
If you're over 15 and can still get behind Mary-Sue-fights-Hitler-with-magic stories, there's something wrong with you.

Calm down boy-o.

Buy her a non-meme children's book like Le Petit Prince if you're really that bent on getting her to understand literature. Her parents will buy her any book she wants, so you just need to cultivate an interest in books worth wanting. Give, don't take.

Don't . Buy her the His dark materials books by Phillip Pullman and save her soul

*Chronicles of Narnia

You mean damn her to hell. Pullman is Satanist.

Getting an 8-year-old interested in reading any novel is a good idea no matter what it is and is in no way a horrible idea you fucking pseud. Do you think your 8-year-old niece should start off with Crime and Punishment or something? fucking retard

Piers anthony books would be better than harry potter garbage

Explain to them how satanic it is.

the only viable alternative would be to introduce your niece to Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and then get her to guess what happened in the previous book...

If you don't buy her a child friendly study bible right now you are damning her soul to hell

>85 posts
>not one answer
>all moral grandstanding

Here is what you do OP:
Explain to mom and dad that the story is about a troubled orphan boy, who instead of dealing with and overcoming his problems runs away to a magical world. He discovers his parents were millionaires, lives like a king and becomes a wizard.

All you have to do is explain that the moral the story teaches is that if you run away from problems they will go away and you are entitled to success just for being you.

probably not suitable for an 8 year old desu, what with children having their souls surgically removed from them

probably not suitable for an 8 year old desu, what with children having their souls surgically removed