HALLOWEEN CANDY THREAD

Drugs, man

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mommy hands out these + rockets and mini bars
I always get what's left!

those are expensive as hell my man, we ain't all doing good as you know what I'm saying?

>tfw give walnuts

>God tier
Vanilla
>Good tier
Cherry
>Ok tier
Lime
>Shit tier
Orange
>Lemon tier
Lemon

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Holy shit you're evil. I'm gonna give out Buckeyes, but not the chocolate kind.

>give caramel coated onions to anyone that disrespects the holiday tradition
>Only give them to the ""'kids""" being shitheads
>While they leave play my pump organ with some spooky ass music heard from across the goddamn street
Y'all niggas doin it wrong

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if I were to do that I'd roast the onions first so its slightly sweet because its just a bit of fun you know.
kind of like how santa gives bad kids coal so they at least don't freeze to death

It's trick or treat nigga
I'm not gonna treat the little faggot disrespecting the best holiday while I'm playing tunes on my pump organ from 1930

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Usually just get the multi packs of minis and if i gotta man the door i give a handful. But thankfully most of the kids in my neighborhood are all grown and we don't have streetlights. So i don't really expect any kids this year.

I like necco wafers.

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I hope you enjoy sugary coated onions stuck to your house and car.

I make peanut butter cake pops like pic related but I frost them so they look like little jack o lanterns. Also I microdose them with LSD to cultivate a future enlightened master race.

fellas?

My car is more damaged than a girl with daddy issues
It can take a few more eggs or onions

that sounds good, thanks for the free chocolate onions fag

Onion roulette
One of 5 caramel apples is actually a caramel onion.

I just want my ouch! Bubblegum tin and skull pops back.
Everything is becoming so hard to find.

>God tier
Candy bars, chocolate(good quality), Reeses, Tootsie pops and rolls
>Great tier
Blow pops, mini candies, Air Heads, Jolly Ranchers, hard candies
>Good tier
Peanut butter candy things, Off brand lolly pops, cheap chocolate, Twizlers
>Bad tier
Cheap off brand hard candies, chalk candy, bags of off brand hard candy(bones shaped ones)
>Disgusting tier
Pretzel bags, dried fruit, candy corn, black liquorice twizlers, candy cigarettes, fruit shaped candy

>Old people tier (not bad or good)
Popcorn balls, homemade candy, literature, mini bibles, home made pastries (brownies, and etc)

>Tootsie pops and rolls
>god tier
more like
>everyone throws away tier

I'm making smoked sea salt caramel popcorn balls with reeses pieces and semi-sweet morsels and ferrero rocher centers. They were a big hit last year.

Neck yourself pleb

And thank God for that

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Faggot everyone loves homemade desserts

I like to watch kids approach on my security camera and open the door with a bowl with just enough very fancy candy to give to all kids but one. "Sorry I had so many trick or treaters this is all that's left." I say.

This is stuff like big hard candy canes, illegally imported Kinder Eggs, etc. I like to see the face of the one kid that's the outlier of the group that knows he won't get candy and his brasher friends do.

I am keeping the candy for myself, fuck the kids.

>Candy cigarettes
>Disgusting tier.
I will fight you.

I'd preffer a good chicken over some cheap ass candies

This old dude i live near did this to one of my friend's cousin once he was pissed off because the old dude gave out these very very very big chocolate bars and the lolipops with gum in the middle

I'm really looking forward to handing these out. I've moved out the shithole urban area I used to live in that was all 20 something student fuck-ups and junkies with no kids. Now I live in a nice suburb where people actually have families and go to church and work in real jobs and not hospitality side jobs while collecting social security.

But being the suburbs... there's not a lot of originality. I can already imagine every other house getting the same fun size chocolates from the same supermarkets. So I thought I'd give the kids something a bit different with the weeb candy.

>should we let the kids knock on this door
>no the person that lives there is a pedophile or something, last year they were handing out weird candies and were being awkward around the children, plus he kept calling all the girls "m'lady" and tipped his hat every time

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motherfucking pretzel bags

That's cute but are you Japanese? Else people might think you are a strange weeb or culturally appropriating.

From last year's thread.

No. But I'm Asian I've been mistaken for Japanese. It's kind of sad that it's meant to be taken as a compliment.

Is this a joke ?

That's hilarious I it works

how?
can people really not tell the difference between Asian phenotype subsets?
and I get called racist

I feel terrible for even remembering that.

I am definitely not of a Japanese phenotype so I always laugh when people think I'm Japanese. I think my facial hair and midlength hair throw people off.

hello Veeky Forums

>open door holding basket
>it's a 12 year old not wearing a costume
>"Yeah, uh Happy Halloween"
>about to close the door in his face
>he grabs some candy and runs away
I hate kids

>Asian
>looks like a Jap
>gives out Jap candy
Yeah I fucking wonder why

Lol

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We give out a bag with 5 pieces of candy. Usually 1 chocolate, sour punch straw, sucker, twizzler, and a piece of gum. We have a huge turn out of kids. I really enjoy seeing all the kids dressed up. Usually invite senpai and friends and we have a party and drink beer and hand out candy. Always fun tho.

Why does "family" get replaced with senpai when using autocorrect? Wtf.

>"Uh yeah. Can I get one copy of I

Welcome, friend. Please enjoy your stay.

because of t o b e h o n e s t f a m i l y

>not inviting Senpai to the party

my nigs of nogs

>mini bibles
you mean gideon new testament bibles?

tijuana bibles

old tier is right. that looks like its from either the 1910s or 1950s.

We have an Atkinson Candy Co very closeby. They give tours and at the end these are some of the candies you can buy. The peanut butter bars are still warm

What if a black kid and white kid are together?

I always make sure my neighborhood's kids get some nutrients out of their Halloween night.

thats one rotten looking apple

I always called them necro wafers and pretended I was eating the body of Lucifer.

Oh boy! dinner!

That white kid better hope the black kid didn't go to the Anons house that is giving out bullets.

No, give the black kids Oreos

that seems worse than those bubblegum lollipops

No, they weren't that bad.

Super soft, though

what about the outside shell? isn't that made out of sugar?

No, i remember it being more like a gumball

if they're communists, give them nothing

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>stinkies

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Why isn't this a copypasta

this is old as fuck but I laugh everytime

deep fry them

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I'd never seen these until after I moved north. They were sold everywhere.

If they're communists you take all their candy and give them one piece back.

>lemon tier below shit tier

>Good Idea

>Bad Idea

Of course it's a bad idea, the cunt didn't peel off the shitty outer layer.

>live out in the middle of nowhere
>only ever gotten 3 kids coming to the house in the 17 years we've been here.

I have a big ass bag of bulk Halloween chocolates I got for myself, but if some absolute madmen show up at my door their getting the whole thing

where does ammunition stand on that list?

I'll take "I

you're a good man user