Why is God such a dick in the Old Testament?

this is what americans actually believe

First you have to ask, who exactly is the God of the OT? Remember that his name is I AM THAT I AM, Yahweh, or Jehovah; that He's not just God, but that He has a personal name.
So who is Yahweh? He's the final form (in terms of the evolution of worship) of the Canaanite god El, who the ancient Israelites designated as being above the other Canaanite gods (such as the Baals, Asherah, etc). El was the Ares/Mars equivalent, inasmuch as you can apply that principle.
So he's a war god who was retroactively turned into, also, a creator god.

Underrated

Sacred dubs inspiring me to continue:
So we have a rough idea of who Yahweh is, but you're also asking after his motivations. If you read the five Books of Moses (Torah, Pentateuch, Genesis to Deuteronomy) you'll get a very good idea of this. He wants to give the Children of Israel a land to live in, a land where they'll worship him in the way he (extensively) describes in the Torah/Law.
Often the Children of Israel follow Yahweh's commandments, but remember, He became creator God after beating the other gods in the popularity contest: Yahweh is a jealous god. Quite often the Children of Israel forget that Yahweh has selected them "to be a peculiar people to me" and forget how to properly worship, sacrifice, and devote.
That's when Yahweh starts exploding things, until the people repent and the cycle starts again.

>Remember that his name is I AM THAT I AM
Are you saying God is literally Being itself? *le Heidegger face*

>Yahweh

I'm gonna guess he's saying it's a mythologized version of real events. Mysticism of real phenomena happens in every culture.

according to both harold bloom and jordan peterson yahweh is a trickster god who doesn't give a hoot about lame shit like "number of people killed."

>inb4 kneejerk sneering at peterson

To piggyback on the Jordan Peterson mention, he'd probably answer this by saying:
God is, roughly speaking, a literary archetype of the tyrannical father, punishing his children for their transgressions, man.
You better bloody well believe it.

(I joke, but I'm really digging his bible lecture series right now)

I think god got on lithium at some point, got his shit together.

>making a deal with all of mankind, promising to look after them
and
>creating the people of Israel to act as a vessel for His delivering all humans, allowing us to repent for the original sin
and
>preparing for Jesus

of

>being a dick

pick one

Because OP is a faggot.

>God can't make an omelette without breaking the eggs
So it turns out God isn't all-powerful. Interesting...

Read God:a biography

The god of the bible is less of a character and more the blanks and gaps of things they couldn't explain given a name.

>Also realize that God's intentions have great meaning even if we don't understand them.

Biggest cop-out ever

kek

brainlet detected

Completely self motivated.
Anyone who doesn't follow God is killed or is tortured ("punished") for their transgressions.

Of course, these bright, bright people say "No, no, no! See, he's punishing us so we'll become better! So we can live a tolerable life!"

Yes, so it's punishing us so we can become its view of better, as its view of better could be anything at all. It could essentially reward everyone for everything. This is why it makes no sense that heaven could not be just a person in a dark room being filled with the most intense pleasure and fulfillment imaginable from just their existence.

Satan is always made out as the other. The being opposed to God. Yet it seemingly serves God. Satan punishes those who do not follow God.

He just wanted his creations to listen to him, as a parent would want their children to listen.

Unfortunately infanticide/genocide is his way of saying "you ungrateful shits"

Also worthy of note is that ancient Jews weren't monotheists, but monolatrists

>not being a staunch creationist in the face of mountains of evidence

Grow a pair you fucking pussy.

>claims discussing God is taking his name in vain
>takes God's name in vain by presuming to know his will

He did in Part 2

delet this

Because the stories didn't start out as monotheistic, not entirely.

BLASPHEMY

>forces some poor prostitute to carry his son without any attempt at consent
>not rape

"Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word."

Because God didnt create the universe, something else did, he just monitors it

Read Moses and Monotheism by Freud.

>poor prostitute
The meme is that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, not Mary Mother-of-God.

That graph should be titled "Who sent more people to Heaven?"

>What are his motivations, really?
Small children lacks the empathy of a grown-up.
They pull wings of flies, burn beetles, and sometimes experiment on bigger animals.
According to the old books, God behaves like a 5-year old.

Ego complex

he's a product of the time he was created in, strong and feared are righteous - adhering to later Judaeo-christian values isn't

>Evidence
>Creationism
Pick one.

>Judaeo-christian values
Fake term, no such thing.

The old testament is a reflection of jewish nature: genocidal and destructive.

>bible is the word of God
>oh hey interpret it though and make sure you take into account the proper context

>bible is the word of God
You are thinking of Quran. Bible is inspired by God, but nobody claims it's literal Word of God.

Ask a fundamentalist if they believe the Bible's the literal word of god.

Protip: they will say "yes."

So what happens to the humans who die before Jesus? Genuine question, this and double predestination always seemed contradictory to Christianity to me.

>nobody claims it's literal Word of God.
It's as if you enter an another dimension, a parallel reality, when you start talking with Christians.

>but nobody claims it's literal Word of God.
Although not all christians do Burgers do.

That chart is bullshit. Satan (if you assume he was the serpent as most do) is responsible for the death of every single human, since he convinced Eve to eat the fruit and thus caused the fall.

God still is a dick though.

>You have much profound information to give about God, and have for thousands of years "searched the depths of the Godhead," and looked into its heart, so that you can doubtless tell us how God himself attends to "God’s cause," which we are called to serve. And you do not conceal the Lord’s doings, either. Now, what is his cause? Has he, as is demanded of us, made an alien cause, the cause of truth or love, his own? You are shocked by this misunderstanding, and you instruct us that God’s cause is indeed the cause of truth and love, but that this cause cannot be called alien to him, because God is himself truth and love; you are shocked by the assumption that God could be like us poor worms in furthering an alien cause as his own. "Should God take up the cause of truth if he were not himself truth?" He cares only for his cause, but, because he is all in all, therefore all is his cause! But we, we are not all in all, and our cause is altogether little and contemptible; therefore we must "serve a higher cause." – Now it is clear, God cares only for what is his, busies himself only with himself, thinks only of himself, and has only himself before his eyes; woe to all that is not well-pleasing to him. He serves no higher person, and satisfies only himself. His cause is – a purely egoistic cause.

>not worshiping an angry but often bro-tier God

Right but God put the apple there in the first place and created both Satan and Eve and the garden and the concept of mortality.

The Bible is by definition the word of God because he told who he made and chose what to write. If I build a perfectly predictable Goldberg machine to write with, that's still me writing.

More importantly, why is death a bad thing? If we have immortal souls then life is basically an infinitesimally short probationary period and the sooner it's over the less chance we have to fuck it up. Death is only bad if you've already accepted that there is no afterlife (or that the afterlife is definitely unpleasant), in which case you're not really much of a Christian. Your family might miss you for half a century but then you'll be with them again in paradise literally forever. It puzzles me that anyone would quibble about who killed who in the Bible, especially Christians, as it implies they don't really believe in that.

You seem to be forgetting about hell. Assuming you conceive of hell as christians generally do, it's literally the worst imaginable reality, and thousands of people killed in the Bible presumably went there, since they weren't followers of God. The creation of Hell is quite possible God's most heinous crime, since it punishes infinitely for the simple crime of disbelief or belief in the wrong deity.

Who created more people in the Bible?

>Creatonism
>Growing a pair
Pick one.

...

if you believe in aliens, then there's a reason for you to believe in him and what he's doing. (also thank him for nuking fags before they multiplied)

"You can't make an omelette without breaking a eggs" -user

I'm not forgetting about it, I just think it would make more sense to have a diagram that showed "numbers of people condemned to hell by god" rather than "killed by", because the death is irrelevant.

The good went to the abode of the righteouss in Sheol, and the evil went to the burning part of Sheol. There's a tale about a rich and poor man Jesus Christ tells where this is explained.

The apple is free will, God gave man the ability to choose wether he wants to obey Him or not. Without that "apple" we'd just be souless robots.

Because he (Yahweh/Elohim) was the national God of Israel, and acted warlike and judgmental as an ancient near eastern culture would expect

According to Paul Tillich, yeah

That response is inane for a number of reasons.

How do I know I'm not in a simulation and God is an even bigger asshole than I had previously imagined?

>and then have 17th century missionaries risk life and limb to tediously spread the gospel to all corners of the globe leaving centuries of people so shit out of luck that even today over half of them are still shit out of luck.

>implying there is something to be grateful for

This. The Abrahamic texts are just Harlan Ellison for LARPers

God: 7

protip: they will be retarded so don't discuss anything of an ontological or moral nature with them

>free will

>Let's judge a being that detains all the power and understanding of the world and that lives in an immensily higher plan using men-made moral codes and intelligence.

wow nice job op

OT = survival manual for living in bronze age earth
NT = survival manual for living in the realm of pure forms

>I live in an immensely higher plane than the Sims
>I am automatically not an asshole

Oh okay

But people who believe things like
>While the state can compel no one to believe it can banish not for impiety, but as an antisocial being incapable of truly loving the laws and justice, and of sacrificing, if needed, his life to his duty. If, after having publicly recognized these dogmas, a person acts as if he does not believe them, he should be put to death.
or somebody who says things like
>It must further be understood that all the worth which the human being possesses - all spiritual reality, he possesses only through the state
>If the state claims life, the individual must surrender it
are the perfect people to talk about morality and true intellectuals. I'd trust the average hillbilly more than the average philosopher.

This is a non sequitur fallacy.

Oh btw, the earth is flat too. Do you see a curve?

What are the best parts of the Bible? I'm gonna read it, as I feel I need more God in my life

God is a non sequitur fallacy. Actually many at once.

this "breaking a eggs" made me break out in laughter

a) You can be an "asshole" according to the Sims. That's their moral code. Does that mean you are truly an asshole? If we are supposing God is real ( which you are , since you are calling him a bad guy ) then we also have to suppose the only absolute moral is the one created by himself.

b) Even if you could judge a being that has the infinite knowledge of all things and beings using your moral code, what makes you think that him being an asshole disproves his existence? Superior beings are superiors, doesn't matter if they are good or bad. In greek mythology there were gods that were assholes at times, if we are supposing they are real, then it doesn't matter how they behave.

this coming from an atheist btw

The only people that believe this are a bunch of apehoop players and meme rappers.

We all should return to the pagan roots of our ancestors, christianity has been proven as a fraudulent and violent semitic garbage unfit for the XXI century

Curious, how can you, knowing this, be an atheist? Not attacking, I have a history or atheism/agnosticism but it makes more sense to me that G-d is, naturally, real.

>this coming from an atheist

You can be an atheist and have bad rhetoric and poor critical thinking

it's just common sense. I'm not sure if God is real or not, but this " God is bad in the bible therefore he doesn't exist " argument is literally what a 12yo would say
great point upboat my kind sir

>Our immediate creator must be the absolute creator
>Implying I've somehow ruled out dystheism or maltheism
>implying I'm saying there is no god and the only alternative is Yahweh

Pistachios Permeated

Probably a failure to allow himself to be honest about his failed human project and how narcissistic he is. I think he saw himself in us and it enraged him.

>gives birth to children
>DUDE STOP KILLING YOUR CHILDREN OMG WHO DO U THINK U RE??? xDDD

The Jews who wrote the OT took and corrupted stories from eastern Indo-European places like Bablyon, Sumer, etc.

Abraham is an anagram of Brahma
The jewish name Sarah was taken from Sarasvati

Many depictions of Jesus show him using Mudras (hand positions) which were taken straight from the east

absolute power corrupts absolutely and makes him suck my dick

He wanted them to keep their free will in the process

>G-d
Why do people do this? It's not even his real name

You have TEN (10) seconds to give me TWO (2) reasons to think that the flood in Genesis 6 was global.